angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Jan 13, 2023 4:42:03 GMT
sponsored by the Oregon National Guard. He did his intake yesterday and has been there for just under 36 hours. This is an answer to prayer, he is in a safe place . . . learning to be more of a responsible adult. OYCP has been in existence since 1999 and runs two residential 22-week Classes per year. DS is in Class 65, Platoon One. They primarily focus on youth age 15-19 (mostly 16-18) who have not graduated from HS, or are not on track to graduate with their class. The facility is a $10M and is well thought out and very secure! It is a military style academic setting with emphasis and learning life skills.
Background info about my DS. He was adopted at age 4 along with his older brother age 10 in 2009. Oldest and youngest of a sibling group, the middle two did not survive their Russian birth home. DS23 left home shortly after graduation at 19 and continued down the drug and alcohol rabbit hole until early last spring. He did a stint at Job Corps, but it shut down for Covid and really messed him up. Did 6 months or so in a rehab residential facility then dropped out of that to be in a homeless shelter 45 minutes away UNTIL a really caring individual counselor from Job Corps got him re-invested in the program. He has been estranged from the family since 2020, but has indicated he wants to reconcile, he is almost ready to graduate from Job Corps in carpentry.
He unfortunately introduced in younger brother by 6.5 years to vaping and drugs when he was still in the home and DS#2 was in 7th-8th grade.
DS17 also has a FASD diagnosis along with genetic predisposition to addiction. We spent 2020 working with a counselor, then wilderness therapy (boutique mental health), and another counselor. Due to his lack of executive functioning and lower IQ nothing stuck! We were simply trying to keep him alive as he had suicide ideation along with trying anything he could get his hands on to get high. (Marijuana, Dust Off, Paint, other solvents, taking grandparents Rx) before we locked EVERYTHING UP. Since 2020 we have put locks on all our interior room doors and locked them behind us. Only his room and bathroom did not have locks, and the push buttons were disabled.
He would collect vape bits and pieces on bike rides, we would discover it on our regular searches. Last school year he was suspended twice for drug related incidents. This year three times, twice between Thanksgiving and Christmas Break. If you have ever dealt with an FASD brain . . . lots of confabulation (lying), denying, accusing us of planting stuff, and so on. It's been a nightmare. We can't leave him with anyone! We did finally get a Direct Support Professional worth his salt this fall. So some relief, but the drugs at school are the real problem.
We had two IEP meetings, requested that he be fully supervised as he is too easily coerced and culpable in drug situations. He was being used as a drug mule, and then blatantly using drugs despite what the school promised would be increased supervision. Yeah that didn't happen. The school's solution? OYCP . . . but DS had to be willing to attend. He is not short on credits, but with his IEP and modified diploma he was admitted! Minor miracle and lots of praying on our part. OYCP takes youth from all 36 Oregon counties, and happens to be in the top three of the alternative HS programs in the US, if not usually first. At least that is what they told us parents at the intake yesterday.
We had him home the week before break so the last time he used marijuana was 12/12. He had a private orientation at OYCP on 12/15 (the facility is 15 minutes from our home), and is accredited through our school district. He did say yes. Did what he needed to do (STD lab tests), and pay restitution for a stealing incident at school (also part of the issue of course). We didn't find out until 12/27 that he was admitted. We decided to keep him out of school for the 6 days leading up to OYCP, just so he wouldn't be exposed to the drug culture at school. Incidentally his behavior improved slowly over the month.
Purchased his required supplies (basic hygiene, school supplies, and underwear/socks/athletic shoes). Of course I filled out and submitted all the required paperwork. But he had to sign the releases, which he did willingly. He has refused all outpatient therapy since summer of 2020. In Oregon at age 14 he is allowed to do that by law. He finally has made the beginning of a decision to make a change in his life. So with his #1 Buzz cut and his plastic bag of supplies he was off!
We arrived early and actually were the second family of 60 through the door. We were the first to see the Dr. about his medications, then waited for about 90 minutes for the rest of the group to be processed. Actually think it was better for his brain to be waiting in the room listening to some of the volunteer work he will be involved in once basic training is over. Standing in a line would have been difficult for him to manage. The OYCP staff is aware of his disabilities, and have worked with such candidates/cadets before.
OYCP says no news is good news. So far so good! BUT I am not naive enough to think that there is 100% guarentee that he will make it through. Thus I am really pushing through his insurance/doctors clinic to have a team meeting to make a Plan B. I do not want to get a call telling us to come get him, and not have a back up plan. So far the team has not set a date.
We wrote 5 letters to leave with him and will start with snail mail tomorrow. We can email him everyday if we want. I am cautiously optimistic, but a realist. Please pray for his success the first 15 days are the toughest, lots of exercise, no backtalk, very structured.
TIA!
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,097 
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Post by used2scrap on Jan 13, 2023 4:45:22 GMT
Hugs! You’ve walked a long road and I wish you all the best. Hang in there momma.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 13, 2023 5:02:45 GMT
I hope it is the step he needs to get on a good path.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,247
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
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Post by Sue on Jan 13, 2023 6:37:19 GMT
Wishing him (and you) the best. A niece's son went through a similar (or same) program in WA state. He did well and ended up loving the program. After finishing, he graduated high school and has done very well since. I wish the same for your son.
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Post by Legacy Girl on Jan 13, 2023 7:01:53 GMT
May the weeks and months to come be filled with many blessings for your family.
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Post by kels99 on Jan 13, 2023 7:09:51 GMT
There's a similar program in WA that I've had some interaction with at a previous job and by all accounts and everything I saw, it is an amazing program!
Best wishes to your son.
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Post by lucyg on Jan 13, 2023 7:41:24 GMT
I just messaged you a little while ago! I had missed this post till now. I’m so happy he’s chosen this program. Hoping it will be all good for him.
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Post by malibou on Jan 13, 2023 8:21:42 GMT
Keeping all of you tucked up in my safest thoughts. The waiting must be so hard for you. I wish your whole family the very best while your son learns a path he can navigate on his own. He is very lucky to have you and your Dh as parents.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,158
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Post by teddyw on Jan 13, 2023 11:01:11 GMT
Hoping and wishing for this to work for him and your family.
You’ve been through so much.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jan 13, 2023 11:11:20 GMT
Not only do I hope he gets on the right track but I really hope you can find some peace. You really deserve it. ❤️
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jan 13, 2023 11:37:27 GMT
You have all been through so much. I’m praying for his every success. And I’m sending you hugs and praying for peace in your home.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,550
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Jan 13, 2023 12:47:01 GMT
I can imagine the hope/relief you must feel right now with a good plan in place. Sending hugs and prayers for your son. May you all look back on this time as a positive turning point.
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Post by myboysnme on Jan 13, 2023 13:29:13 GMT
Wow I never realize what we are going through on this board. Thank you for being here in spite of what life is putting in your path.
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Post by Merge on Jan 13, 2023 13:58:38 GMT
Hugs to you and to him. What a rough road. I hope this is a turning point for all of you.
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Post by auntkelly on Jan 13, 2023 14:19:52 GMT
I hope this program turns out to be just what your son needs. I will say prayers for your son.
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Post by Linda on Jan 13, 2023 14:33:10 GMT
praying
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Post by stormsts on Jan 13, 2023 14:40:57 GMT
I hope this is the help he needs and it is a success! Hugs!
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Post by Lexica on Jan 13, 2023 15:10:29 GMT
I do hope this program will be his turning point and that he will learn all the coping skills necessary to leave the drug culture behind and walk a positive path. He deserves that and so do you. You have been through so much with your boys. Hugs.
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Jan 13, 2023 16:18:20 GMT
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and words of support! Each hour that passes when he comes to mind DH and I say . . . "no news is good news". We often think of him at meal times as we know that part of the schedule. As for the rest of the day not so much until the school portion starts on 1/30. Right now we believe it is mostly physical training. He's in good shape as a wrestler and can bike 15 miles with ease. So it will be the mental aspect of responding without thinking. Due to his slow processing speed, I hope that he is able to respond immediately. A promotional video on their FB page stated that most individuals come in with about 6th grade math and reading skills, so the teachers are used to working with students at all levels. At least he won't be the most intellectually challenged one in the group! All of the candidates (120 male, 60 female in three separate platoons) are there by their own choice and most are motivated by the opportunity to make up HS credits, graduate, or get their GED. It is an all or nothing program, they most complete all 22 weeks. For my DS it is about making positive choices and learning life skills.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 13, 2023 17:22:33 GMT
Please remember that the people who run and work for the program have dealt w/your ds's issues many times. They know how to support and manage him. I'm hoping that this is a really positive and turnaround experience for all of you. Don't forget to use this time to do things for your dh and you.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,561
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Post by RosieKat on Jan 13, 2023 17:33:29 GMT
Lots of love to you. I, too, have a kid who has issues with being easily influenced by others and whose behavior has improved greatly since we have begun online schooling him. It's amazing how much some of these kids can benefit by NOT being around some of their peers. I send my love and prayers to you all.  |
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,797
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Post by valincal on Jan 13, 2023 17:54:53 GMT
All the best to your DS and your family. Take care.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 13, 2023 18:08:23 GMT
Sure hope this puts your son on the track for a positive life outcome.
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Jan 13, 2023 19:06:13 GMT
Please remember that the people who run and work for the program have dealt w/your ds's issues many times. They know how to support and manage him. I'm hoping that this is a really positive and turnaround experience for all of you. Don't forget to use this time to do things for your dh and you. Thank you for this affirmation. The first question the admissions counselor asked was "Can he handle being yelled at?" due to his FASD. I said yes, because he has done so many sports, especially wrestling, the coaches yell a lot in wrestling. The entire team is caused to run or do push-up because of one or two kids. So he will be accustomed to this.
We do plan some travel after he makes it through red stage, but were asked to stay in state until he completes that portion by the admin.
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Post by annie on Jan 13, 2023 19:16:09 GMT
My cousin's daughter did a similar program to great success. I am hopeful for your son! Hang in there!!
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,801
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Post by purplebee on Jan 13, 2023 21:10:50 GMT
Sending best wishes for a positive outcome for your boy. Sounds like he is in the right place! Hugs…
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Post by mom2jnk on Jan 13, 2023 21:31:48 GMT
I am so glad to read this update about your younger son, angel. And the positive news about your older son. I remember corresponding with you a few years ago and have always thought about you and your sons. Will be sending all my positive thoughts. Please keep us posted!
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,011
Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Jan 13, 2023 21:39:46 GMT
Best wishes for your DS and I hope this is the step he needs to get on a better path. Hugs to you!
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Post by powderhorngreen on Jan 13, 2023 21:49:15 GMT
1. Sending my hugs and good vibes for a positive outcome.
2. Give yourself a pat on the back for being engaged, loving, and realistic.
3. Please ignore all the people who look at your situation and judge. This is about his choices, not your parenting, family, or home.
4. Again hugs and good vibes.
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Post by cindytred on Jan 14, 2023 4:44:13 GMT
Wow, y'all have been through a lot. I hope this will help him get on the right track. I will keep him and your family in my prayers.
Cindy
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