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Post by silverlining on Apr 4, 2024 19:24:28 GMT
I'm thinking nothing is going on. The manager is incompetent and also terrified that if he does anything at all it will be a violation of the ill employee's rights under FMLA. He's in fear of a lawsuit and thinks it's best to do nothing.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 4, 2024 20:06:47 GMT
I keep thinking the same. I'm waiting for a "you're never going to believe....boss and absent coworker were having an affair/secret spies together from a competitor/long lost mother and son" or something else scandalous. It just seems there has to be some reason *why* he isn't doing anything. It doesn't make any sense. Not even an affair but something is going on for sure. The way the company is protecting the coworker has believing something more is going on Careful there! Y'all are starting to veer off into Catherine, Princess of Wales territory!  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 4, 2024 20:22:21 GMT
I'd love to see her pay stub. Is she getting paid for all of this? And if so, how? Did she have that much PTO? How come no one else has caught all of this? Is your boss tap dancing around the whole subject when others(like people who keep having to be re-scheduled) not notice? I dunno... I think there's something else going on here besides her being completely incompetent for the job, something with him. I SO hope you hear soon about the other job!! I would love to see her timecard too. I can see when she's online. Unless she works while I sleep, I don't believe she has worked a 40 hour week since coming back. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 4, 2024 20:23:00 GMT
I'm thinking nothing is going on. The manager is incompetent and also terrified that if he does anything at all it will be a violation of the ill employee's rights under FMLA. He's in fear of a lawsuit and thinks it's best to do nothing. This. |
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,297 
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Post by pantsonfire on Apr 4, 2024 20:45:21 GMT
I'm thinking nothing is going on. The manager is incompetent and also terrified that if he does anything at all it will be a violation of the ill employee's rights under FMLA. He's in fear of a lawsuit and thinks it's best to do nothing. This what I think with my other comment. I wonder if she has even gone as far as to threaten him or the company. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 11, 2024 16:27:30 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week.  I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. |
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Post by kristi521 on Apr 11, 2024 16:35:19 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week.  I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. I completely validate you (not that you need validation from some stranger on the internet). It is infuriating. I love that we have FMLA, but I hate that there are people out there that can and do milk the system. And when things add up, like you outlined above, it makes you start questioning, because the average person doesn't have that much bad luck fall on them at once. It can happen, but it is usually the exception. And when it feels like it is being abused, especially when a level headed, rational, kind and empathetic person like yourself might feel/see it, it might just be that. |
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Post by Bridget in MD on Apr 11, 2024 18:02:38 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week. I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. I completely missed your updates on April 2 and my jaw is still on the floor on that one. I know what you mean about how you don't like the way YOU are feeling about yourself. I really really hope you hear good news very soon. I swear if anyone files anysort of lawsuit, it should be YOU for the mental anguish they are causing you!!!! |
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Post by mom on Apr 11, 2024 20:55:19 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week. I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. Let me take this burden from you. She is milking it. Even from half the country away, I can see what's she is doing. She is collecting her paychecks and laughing all the way as she cashes them. |
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Post by pepperwood on Apr 12, 2024 0:17:50 GMT
I haven't been following all of the updates. I am surprised that the company doses not require medical documentation to support her absences. If she took medical leave for her stroke, the company should have requires her to clear her to return to work and discuss any accommodations the company would have to make. Also, the company is allowed to request medical documentation if she wants to use FMLA to care for her husband.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,887
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Apr 12, 2024 0:47:04 GMT
jeremysgirl I rolled my eyes as I read that. She is 1000% milking it. I’m so sorry you’re still waiting to hear on the job. I’m frustrated for you. I think my big mouth probably would have gotten my ass canned by now if I were in your shoes. I hope you hear something soon on the new job!
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 12, 2024 1:52:04 GMT
I would be completely shocked if she isn't lying about most of it. She sure knows how to milk this for all it's worth and no one seems to want documentation, so she's just going to town. I don't know why someone would do this, but she's getting away w/it.
I truly hope you find something much better, very soon.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 12, 2024 10:26:36 GMT
I swear if anyone files anysort of lawsuit, it should be YOU for the mental anguish they are causing you!!!! I meet with a counselor today to discuss this. It is causing me mental anguish. I feel so incredibly angry and then I feel guilty for feeling angry. I know I shouldn't but somehow I've got to cope with this because I have no choice but to work in this job so I need some kind of tools for keeping things professional when I want to rip someone's head right off. the company is allowed to request medical documentation if she wants to use FMLA to care for her husband. She submitted a request for intermittent FMLA when her husband was in the hospital. He died. I thought that would be the end of the FMLA but apparently that hasn't been the case. I don't know what is going on anymore, but if this had been dealt with last year, it wouldn't even be an issue. I came in this morning to an email from her asking me why I'm doing an approval on something for all the offices. I told her I was instructed to by our managers. Her performance was so spotty that it was holding things up, so they made it so I can do approvals on her behalf. I've continued to do them. Apparently she felt like working last night so she was angry that I approved two on her behalf yesterday. This is what I'm talking about. Her attitude sucks. If she was reliable and we could count on her, then it wouldn't be necessary. She gets angry at me for keeping things running. |
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Post by gillyp on Apr 12, 2024 11:15:45 GMT
She gets angry at you for highlighting her inadequacies.
I so want you out of there!
I hope the counsellor helps and gives you some strategies.
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Post by quietgirl on Apr 12, 2024 12:27:24 GMT
I hope the counselor helps, too. This is such an intolerable situation, one that's not fair to you.
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Post by gillyp on Apr 12, 2024 12:59:47 GMT
When all this is over - and it WILL come to an end - and you've had some respite from the situation, I think you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. I know you have recognised it's affecting you but I think you will be surprised at how much 'lighter' you will feel.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 12, 2024 13:03:31 GMT
FMLA covers an employee for 12 weeks per year. They can let her go if she takes more than 12 weeks. Ask me how I know...my Fortune 500 company tracked every hour I took off when DH was battling cancer. It was made very clear that I would lose my job of 37 years if I took any more than that. Yes, they sucked. Please, don't beat yourself up, jeremysgirl . She has a crap attitude. I was always available by phone for my coworkers. They always knew when I'd be in or out of the office. Were there last minutes times I was out? Of course, but I sent everyone a message. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 12, 2024 13:04:44 GMT
FMLA covers an employee for 12 weeks per year. They can let her go if she takes more than 12 weeks. Ask me how I know...my Fortune 500 company tracked every hour I took off when DH was battling cancer. It was made very clear that I would lose my job of 37 years if I took any more than that. Yes, they sucked. Please, don't beat yourself up, jeremysgirl . She has a crap attitude. I'm not sure she is being honest about the number of hours she is not working. |
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,128
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Apr 12, 2024 13:10:32 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week. I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. You need to leave. Nothing will change. You are resenting your job and the unfair responsibilities that they are placing on you. And I don't blame you one bit. Start putting your resume out there. I hope you can find something that will bring you joy. |
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,128
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Apr 12, 2024 13:13:05 GMT
FMLA covers an employee for 12 weeks per year. They can let her go if she takes more than 12 weeks. Ask me how I know...my Fortune 500 company tracked every hour I took off when DH was battling cancer. It was made very clear that I would lose my job of 37 years if I took any more than that. Yes, they sucked. Please, don't beat yourself up, jeremysgirl . She has a crap attitude. I was always available by phone for my coworkers. They always knew when I'd be in or out of the office. Were there last minutes times I was out? Of course, but I sent everyone a message. As someone who handles payroll, I can tell you that yes we do track it. We are required to. However, we do make exceptions when some people exceed their fmla. We even have the ability to tap into a sick time pool that employees donate to help out co-workers in need. I wish every company did that. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that extra pressure during such a difficult time. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 12, 2024 13:35:21 GMT
OK, so I still haven't heard anything about that job I interviewed for last week. I also haven't heard anything on the complaint I filed. But what I mostly came here to tell you is that you know my coworker? The one with a sick husband, who then died, who then got Covid, who then got RSV, flu, and pneumonia, and then had some bleeding from a skin graft she had a year and a half ago, well she was back two days this week and now she's out again. Food poisoning this time. And when I saw her message this morning, I rolled my freaking eyes. And this is why I need to get out, because I don't like the person I am in this job. Everything that befalls her I question whether she's telling the truth. I question whether or not she's milking it so she doesn't have to work. I question the amount of sick time she even has available. She has to still be approved for leave because no one could possibly have this much sick time banked. But anyway, all this doubt and disdain just makes me feel ick. You need to leave. Nothing will change. You are resenting your job and the unfair responsibilities that they are placing on you. And I don't blame you one bit. Start putting your resume out there. I hope you can find something that will bring you joy. This. It is not a healthy environment for you-or for anyone, really. On the one hand, she is taking excessive time off. On the other hand, she gets angry with you for keeping things running. And maybe the worst part is that for some reason that I cannot understand, your company has not dealt with all of the absenteeism. This is an untenable situation. She obviously knows that you are a workhorse, and is happy to take advantage of you. Screw her, quite frankly. |
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Post by smasonnc on Apr 12, 2024 14:10:20 GMT
“I feel so incredibly angry and then I feel guilty for feeling angry.“ jeremysgirl your anger is completely justified. You’re being taken advantage of by a shady co-worker and spineless management. I’m angry for you and not feeling guilty at all. My verdict for you, Not Guilty. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 12, 2024 14:37:41 GMT
FMLA covers an employee for 12 weeks per year. They can let her go if she takes more than 12 weeks. Ask me how I know...my Fortune 500 company tracked every hour I took off when DH was battling cancer. It was made very clear that I would lose my job of 37 years if I took any more than that. Yes, they sucked. Please, don't beat yourself up, jeremysgirl . She has a crap attitude. I'm not sure she is being honest about the number of hours she is not working. If she is getting paid for hours that she’s not actually working or has PTO to cover, that’s theft. We had one guy who did that every week for months running before DH finally caught on. The guy would come in 2-3 hours late on the days when DH was off but would fill out his time card as if he had been there on time. The other employee working that same shift would just cover for him and never said anything. Finally on one of his days off, DH decided to go in early to check on something and the guy wasn’t there. He asked the other employee where he was, and she was like, 🤷🏻♀️. She finally fessed up when DH put her on the spot and she said he had been doing that for months. After he had turned 21 he would go out partying with his buddies on Thursday nights and then would be too hung over to show up on time for work the next day. Yeah, we fired him. |
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Post by lurker on Apr 12, 2024 17:32:28 GMT
I'm so sorry this is dragging on. You mentioned previously that you provide 2/3 of your household's income. It's extra stressful feeling trapped financially that you have no alternative but to continue in your current position. I was in the same position for years. Hoping the situation improves as soon as possible.
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Post by Lexica on Apr 12, 2024 17:54:13 GMT
I am beginning to wonder if she has some kind of dirt on your mutual boss. If she did, and threatened him with the fact that she had some sort of documentation that would either get him fired or arrested, depending on what it was, this would all make sense to me. He keeps covering for her and saying that everyone needs to give her time.
Another thing that crossed my mind when I read what keeps happening and her attitude, which should be one of gratitude is anything but gratitude, I wonder if she is trying to get him fired and when you do the work, it covers for him in a roundabout way. Maybe she keeps staying away through these obvious excuses, hoping that he will be reprimanded for his department failing and you being so efficient is mucking that up.
Both of these things make sense to me when I am playing armchair detective late at night during an insomnia episode.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 12, 2024 18:06:53 GMT
This is an untenable situation. She obviously knows that you are a workhorse, and is happy to take advantage of you. Screw her, quite frankly. OK, yes. That counselor was super helpful. I sent her a copy of my written complaint so she could read everything that has happened. She absolutely validated my complicated feelings on this and said she would help me work through all of it. She basically said the same as your comment above. Basically, she is going to walk me through how to react and interact with her and my boss. I told her that my problem is that I get tripped up and need time to think through the best ways to respond. I tend to react quickly. She said we are going to make a plan for how best to deal with this situation until I can get out of there. I felt like she knew her stuff. And you guys know me, I always seem to do better when I have a therapist who can guide me through something where I feel all tangled up in my emotions. I swear my brain sometimes is like a knotted up pile of yarn barf. It takes a lot of effort to unravel it. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 12, 2024 20:21:40 GMT
This is an untenable situation. She obviously knows that you are a workhorse, and is happy to take advantage of you. Screw her, quite frankly. OK, yes. That counselor was super helpful. I sent her a copy of my written complaint so she could read everything that has happened. She absolutely validated my complicated feelings on this and said she would help me work through all of it. She basically said the same as your comment above. Basically, she is going to walk me through how to react and interact with her and my boss. I told her that my problem is that I get tripped up and need time to think through the best ways to respond. I tend to react quickly. She said we are going to make a plan for how best to deal with this situation until I can get out of there. I felt like she knew her stuff. And you guys know me, I always seem to do better when I have a therapist who can guide me through something where I feel all tangled up in my emotions. I swear my brain sometimes is like a knotted up pile of yarn barf. It takes a lot of effort to unravel it. I am glad that you are getting guidance, because you are dealing with a cagey, selfish co-worker, and that’s hard. Practicing several scenarios, or rehearsing them, helped me immensely. Best of luck. |
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Post by gillyp on Apr 12, 2024 21:23:56 GMT
Those brain barfs most definitely take some effort to untangle.  I'm pleased you have confidence in the therapist and hope her plan is a good fit for you. I don't think there is anything going on between co-worker and manager. I think your spidey senses would alert you to that. I just think he's incompetent and she's taking advantage. |
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Post by craftedbys on Apr 12, 2024 23:19:39 GMT
You are truly a saint for not going off on her bs. I think most people would have said something to effect of "yes, I approved these things since you weren't doing your JOB, so someone had to do it."
Frankly, with this latest excuse, I am totally convinced she has pictures of one of the higher-ups screwing a goat.
Even the Peas are sick of her bullshit.
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Post by pepperwood on Apr 12, 2024 23:20:03 GMT
You need to leave. Nothing will change. You are resenting your job and the unfair responsibilities that they are placing on you. And I don't blame you one bit. Start putting your resume out there. I hope you can find something that will bring you joy. This. It is not a healthy environment for you-or for anyone, really. On the one hand, she is taking excessive time off. On the other hand, she gets angry with you for keeping things running. And maybe the worst part is that for some reason that I cannot understand, your company has not dealt with all of the absenteeism. This is an untenable situation. She obviously knows that you are a workhorse, and is happy to take advantage of you. Screw her, quite frankly. What a mess. It sounds like the HR Department at this company is also not doing its job by not monitoring the amount of FLMA and not responding to your multiple complaints. |
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I'm pleased you have confidence in the therapist and hope her plan is a good fit for you. 