Prom dress vent

For the prom...I'd take her shopping again.

How is it that your kid and my kid were twins separated at birth? 🤣 That totally sounds like something my kid would do. She hates—make that **HATES!!**—shopping to begin with, and now she’s at the age where she really has to try things on which she hates even more. I have donated so many articles of brand new clothing that she insisted she liked in the store and then never wore a single time after we brought it home, so now I make her try stuff on before we buy it.

Her school has a field trip/dance on a river boat on the last day of school for the 8th graders, and while it’s not designed to be a formal event some kids do really dress up for it and most kids want to at least look nice which I can understand. We’ve been shopping a couple times already trying to find something cute that she looks good in (or that I think she looks good in, which is apparently an entirely different thing). It doesn’t help that she’s on the shorter side and apple shaped so some styles really aren’t a great choice.

We’ve come up with nothing she likes, which based on her Amazon wish list would be an elaborate anime inspired Lolita dress complete with a big Peter Pan collar, puffy sleeves, a huge crinoline, thigh high socks, ruffles, bows and platform Mary Jane shoes. Yeah, no. Not happening. To me that’s like asking to get singled out and picked on by every mean girl there (and there definitely are some who would do that), on a boat where she would be trapped for hours if things went sideways. DH would say let her wear what she wants and let the chips fall where they may, but I know teen girls better than that and I refuse to let her throw herself to the wolves on the last day of school so that I get to listen to her cry about it every.single.day.all.summer.long. No thanks.

At least we still have about a month to find something and I pray we do.

ETA: I like the idea of seeing if a friend could come along when you shop. That might help give her an outside opinion from someone her age, other than yours. Good luck!

I feel ya. DD picked hers in OCTOBER when looking for homecoming dresses - swore up and down and sideways she wouldn't want anything different, so I reluctantly went ahead and got it. She's a legit big boned girl (very proportionate and great figure, but even dr. says she's big boned) and it's hard to find things to even fit her in the first place, so it made some sense.

Fast forward to March and we all know what happened. Doesn't fit her the same, she feels ugly, now she wants some sparkles on it, 3 rounds of alterations, crying the day of prom because she's ugly (in her mind)...It was miserable. And the thing was, she was absolutely stunning and everyone she knew thought so. (Not just mom and dad!) Part of it was that she was going solo with a bunch of friends who all had dates, and she didn't like that. She's confident but still wanted a date, and yeah, that's tough. It all turned out OK but not everything she dreamt of. So I feel your pain...

I would also take her shopping again. That is a lovely dress. To me it doesn't feel like a prom dress though. More like a wear to a summer wedding or something like that. BEST OF LUCK!

It’s not ugly but it is kind of plain, meaning that there’s no rhinestones or sparkle if that’s what she’s looking for. It doesn’t read very formal, IMO.

I'll validate your frustration! But, I'd also take her out again. It's so much stress on the girls to look "right".

I would take her shopping again.

I'd take her again --- or let her go for a bit by herself and then you join in. That way she isn't being pressured by you. I am in agreement with the others - thats not really a prom dress and I'd want to fit in, even if I'd have next year to go (Juniors in 2019 probably thought they would have a chance to go in 2020, and look how that worked out).

If finding one in store is out, then I'd ask around and see if anyone has one from last year that she can fit in or even next day mail a dress.

Good luck!

this is hilarious and what a memory!

I would drop her off at the mall with a friend. Give her a budget. When she finds the dress she can call you and you can purchase it.

Please take her shopping again, or let her go alone or with a friend. That is not a prom dress at all, not even close. She doesn't want to feel out of place with everyone else in formals.

I agree with the assessment of someone(a friend) told her they didn't like the dress.

I would return the un-liked dress.

Take yourself out of the shopping equation, that way no blame can come to you. 
Tell her to bring her friend(s) who are her fashion advisors, let them roam the mall looking for a dress, while you wait at Starbucks or elsewhere. Then you can show up and pay for it.
Or....give her the cash-money or transfer the funds to her account and let her go shopping with her friends.
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If she can return the dress, I would say 100% let her choose another. And after seeing the dress, I would have said to choose another, even if she can't return the dress. It wasn't expensive and is casual enough that she could wear it over the summer.

Set a budget for her (which would include alterations) and let her choose. Even my DD had to have her dress hemmed, and she's 5'10" and wore heels. Know that a lot of places won't let you return a formal dress, so she needs to know for sure that she will wear the dress.