A little update NEW update 7/19
Jul 10, 2024 16:57:56 GMT
Rhondito, scraphappy0501, and 25 more like this
Post by Just T on Jul 10, 2024 16:57:56 GMT
I could use some good thoughts over the next week!
I feel like I can share a few things now that last week, my attorney has filed an official motion about some of the things we learned over the last month or so, and by now, I’m sure my STBX has gotten notification of the motion.
There is a hearing next Friday to determine if his “lady friend” can be added as a third party respondent to the divorce. My state is a no fault state, which means the judge doesn’t give a rip that he has a long-term girlfriend, and as my attorney told me from day one, he could have a girlfriend in every state, and it wouldn’t matter, unless we can prove financial misconduct.
Well, we can. My attorney and her team have discovered that he has sent a crap ton (and when I say a crap ton, that really is an understatement, to his “friend.” I’m not comfortable saying how much, but use your wildest imagination, and you might get close.
Anyway, he has been sending her money through various means with no good explanation as to why, especially since he said multiple times in his deposition that she is not a business associate, not a girlfriend, just someone who sometimes shows up at the same races he does. Cough cough GAG. He said he doesn’t know her phone number, isn’t sure exactly where she lives, you get the point. He basically said they are just friends. But yet he has sent her all this money.
It's enough to make a huge difference in the outcome of my divorce, and the rest of my life, and I’ll leave it at that. But, it’s up to the judge whether or not she will allow this woman to be dragged in. I don’t see how she can say no when so much money is involved that he is clearly trying to hide from me, which is illegal during a divorce, but at this point, I don’t always have a whole lot of faith in this working out for me.
There has been a forensic accountant working on my case for a few weeks, but we haven’t gotten a report from him yet.
My attorney told me a few weeks ago that he is adamantly opposed to anyone talking to his “friend,” even his own attorneys, which is strange. So, I am hoping and praying that just the threat of her possibly being brought into the middle of our divorce will encourage him to make me a good settlement offer. I don't know who remembers this part of my story, but what started the ball rolling was discovering he had unfriended and blocked me on FB and changed his marital status to widowed, so I often wonder if she thinks his wife died. Anyway, I feel like at this point, his attorneys should be telling him that this is not looking good for him and won’t look good at a trial, but I think he still thinks he is smarter than the rest of us. Next Friday will be a turning point one way or the other, and I am so anxious just thinking about it. I have a little trip planned at a lake condo for the weekend. I’ll either be crying or celebrating. LOL
Once again, I am struggling with wondering how I spent 40 years with this man who cares so little about me now that he is doing illegal things to try to ensure I end up with nothing. ☹ I’m trying not to think like that, but it’s so hard not to.
Update 7/17:
Today is a bit rough.
It was supposed to be my trial. It was scheduled back in November.
I took the day off work and I am going to spend it in a few fun ways. I am going to go to a local antique mall that I love and browse/look for some dishes, plates or bowls, etc that are orange that I can use at my daughter's baby shower in October. Her theme is A Little Pumpkin is on the Way.
She likes vintagey stuff, so I am hoping and can find some things to use for food.
I also am going to take myself out to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, sit on the patio, read a book.
I may meet some friends later for a walk, but that depends on how grossly hot and humid it is.
Finally, I am going to pack up my stuff and prepare some food to take with me on my lake getaway tomorrow.
*UPDATE 7/19*
Not the day I was hoping for as the hearing that was supposed to be today at 9 am got postponed until August 16. I'm so down and have had a terrible day. My attorney texted me this morning and said that his attorney had a scheduling conflict. I am calling BS. This has been scheduled for weeks. I think they are stalling. The bad thing is that even the judge rules in my favor on this, it's only about6-7 weeks from the trial date, and that doesn't seem like enough time to do what she will need to do. Now, I am envisioning the trial being delayed again.
I can't take much more of this sh!t.
On a good note, I arrived at my little condo yesterday, and it's so lovely here. It's a very quiet, peaceful community, and I feel like I am far from home but in reality it's only 27 miles away. I spent the afternoon by the pool and treated myself to a fun fruity adult beverage. I have spent some time journaling, lots of reading on the deck. I will not want to leave on Monday.
I feel like I can share a few things now that last week, my attorney has filed an official motion about some of the things we learned over the last month or so, and by now, I’m sure my STBX has gotten notification of the motion.
There is a hearing next Friday to determine if his “lady friend” can be added as a third party respondent to the divorce. My state is a no fault state, which means the judge doesn’t give a rip that he has a long-term girlfriend, and as my attorney told me from day one, he could have a girlfriend in every state, and it wouldn’t matter, unless we can prove financial misconduct.
Well, we can. My attorney and her team have discovered that he has sent a crap ton (and when I say a crap ton, that really is an understatement, to his “friend.” I’m not comfortable saying how much, but use your wildest imagination, and you might get close.
Anyway, he has been sending her money through various means with no good explanation as to why, especially since he said multiple times in his deposition that she is not a business associate, not a girlfriend, just someone who sometimes shows up at the same races he does. Cough cough GAG. He said he doesn’t know her phone number, isn’t sure exactly where she lives, you get the point. He basically said they are just friends. But yet he has sent her all this money.
It's enough to make a huge difference in the outcome of my divorce, and the rest of my life, and I’ll leave it at that. But, it’s up to the judge whether or not she will allow this woman to be dragged in. I don’t see how she can say no when so much money is involved that he is clearly trying to hide from me, which is illegal during a divorce, but at this point, I don’t always have a whole lot of faith in this working out for me.
There has been a forensic accountant working on my case for a few weeks, but we haven’t gotten a report from him yet.
My attorney told me a few weeks ago that he is adamantly opposed to anyone talking to his “friend,” even his own attorneys, which is strange. So, I am hoping and praying that just the threat of her possibly being brought into the middle of our divorce will encourage him to make me a good settlement offer. I don't know who remembers this part of my story, but what started the ball rolling was discovering he had unfriended and blocked me on FB and changed his marital status to widowed, so I often wonder if she thinks his wife died. Anyway, I feel like at this point, his attorneys should be telling him that this is not looking good for him and won’t look good at a trial, but I think he still thinks he is smarter than the rest of us. Next Friday will be a turning point one way or the other, and I am so anxious just thinking about it. I have a little trip planned at a lake condo for the weekend. I’ll either be crying or celebrating. LOL
Once again, I am struggling with wondering how I spent 40 years with this man who cares so little about me now that he is doing illegal things to try to ensure I end up with nothing. ☹ I’m trying not to think like that, but it’s so hard not to.
Update 7/17:
Today is a bit rough.
It was supposed to be my trial. It was scheduled back in November. I took the day off work and I am going to spend it in a few fun ways. I am going to go to a local antique mall that I love and browse/look for some dishes, plates or bowls, etc that are orange that I can use at my daughter's baby shower in October. Her theme is A Little Pumpkin is on the Way.
She likes vintagey stuff, so I am hoping and can find some things to use for food. I also am going to take myself out to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, sit on the patio, read a book.
I may meet some friends later for a walk, but that depends on how grossly hot and humid it is.
Finally, I am going to pack up my stuff and prepare some food to take with me on my lake getaway tomorrow.
*UPDATE 7/19*
Not the day I was hoping for as the hearing that was supposed to be today at 9 am got postponed until August 16.
I'm so down and have had a terrible day. My attorney texted me this morning and said that his attorney had a scheduling conflict. I am calling BS. This has been scheduled for weeks. I think they are stalling. The bad thing is that even the judge rules in my favor on this, it's only about6-7 weeks from the trial date, and that doesn't seem like enough time to do what she will need to do. Now, I am envisioning the trial being delayed again.I can't take much more of this sh!t.
On a good note, I arrived at my little condo yesterday, and it's so lovely here. It's a very quiet, peaceful community, and I feel like I am far from home but in reality it's only 27 miles away. I spent the afternoon by the pool and treated myself to a fun fruity adult beverage. I have spent some time journaling, lots of reading on the deck. I will not want to leave on Monday.
