Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,853 
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Post by Rhondito on Jul 11, 2024 19:24:59 GMT
He seems unusually stupid for someone with that much money. Right!? I was about to ask OP what her husband did for a living (in general terms, not specific) for him to make so much money but be so.. oblivious. |
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Post by Zee on Jul 11, 2024 20:17:33 GMT
He seems unusually stupid for someone with that much money. Right!? I was about to ask OP what her husband did for a living (in general terms, not specific) for him to make so much money but be so.. oblivious. I am NOT trying to get her to say, this is only my thoughts, but he sounds like he's an engineer who is somewhat on the spectrum, came up with something specific that made him a lot of money, but he thinks he's smarter than everyone. In many ways, he probably is, but not as far as common sense. My DH is an engineer but he's pretty social for one, and doesn't fit that mold, but an awful lot of his fellow engineers do. Brilliant people who just don't think things through on a personal level or realize that others can see their actions plainly because they don't think about things the same way we do. Like, the money trail--that should be obvious to everyone. Tracking the races and times. Not knowing the phone number of the person you've given a ton of money to. Credit cards, phone records, all of it. I feel like every pea here is smarter than that. Well, those of us who watch Dateline, anyway. And for the OP I'm sure it was easy enough to look the other way for a long time, or rationalize things that didn't make sense, and go with the path of least resistance until it became too much or too difficult. Stay strong sister! |
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Post by nine on Jul 11, 2024 20:30:14 GMT
Well, ugh. I’ve been married 39 years and this sounds like an absolute nightmare. Good thoughts coming your way.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 11, 2024 20:38:06 GMT
He is just so incredibly arrogant to think he could get away with all this. Sending all my best wishes for you, Just T. I am so proud of how much you have grown as a strong, powerful woman. |
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Post by Clair on Jul 11, 2024 20:53:02 GMT
Right!? I was about to ask OP what her husband did for a living (in general terms, not specific) for him to make so much money but be so.. oblivious. I am NOT trying to get her to say, this is only my thoughts, but he sounds like he's an engineer who is somewhat on the spectrum, came up with something specific that made him a lot of money, but he thinks he's smarter than everyone. In many ways, he probably is, but not as far as common sense. My DH is an engineer but he's pretty social for one, and doesn't fit that mold, but an awful lot of his fellow engineers do. Brilliant people who just don't think things through on a personal level or realize that others can see their actions plainly because they don't think about things the same way we do. Like, the money trail--that should be obvious to everyone. Tracking the races and times. Not knowing the phone number of the person you've given a ton of money to. Credit cards, phone records, all of it. I feel like every pea here is smarter than that. Well, those of us who watch Dateline, anyway. And for the OP I'm sure it was easy enough to look the other way for a long time, or rationalize things that didn't make sense, and go with the path of least resistance until it became too much or too difficult. Stay strong sister! You hit the nail on the head. My ex was an enginineer/executive. He bought the other woman a house, a car, vacations, and jewelry…with our money-I had no idea. Because my ex believes he is the smarted person he knows, he completely underestimated me. |
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Post by Zee on Jul 11, 2024 21:13:12 GMT
I am NOT trying to get her to say, this is only my thoughts, but he sounds like he's an engineer who is somewhat on the spectrum, came up with something specific that made him a lot of money, but he thinks he's smarter than everyone. In many ways, he probably is, but not as far as common sense. My DH is an engineer but he's pretty social for one, and doesn't fit that mold, but an awful lot of his fellow engineers do. Brilliant people who just don't think things through on a personal level or realize that others can see their actions plainly because they don't think about things the same way we do. Like, the money trail--that should be obvious to everyone. Tracking the races and times. Not knowing the phone number of the person you've given a ton of money to. Credit cards, phone records, all of it. I feel like every pea here is smarter than that. Well, those of us who watch Dateline, anyway. And for the OP I'm sure it was easy enough to look the other way for a long time, or rationalize things that didn't make sense, and go with the path of least resistance until it became too much or too difficult. Stay strong sister! You hit the nail on the head. My ex was an enginineer/executive. He bought the other woman a house, a car, vacations, and jewelry…with our money-I had no idea. Because my ex believes he is the smarted person he knows, he completely underestimated me. Yes even smart people can be very careless about covering their tracks. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,887
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Post by Just T on Jul 11, 2024 21:36:10 GMT
He is an engineer. A quite brilliant and talented one. He has always thought he is smarter than everyone else. I think that is why he has done such stupid things--I think he truly thought he would get away with it all. Everyone keeps saying, "he is too smart to be doing such stupid stuff." LOL
I can't wait until he finds out how much he underestimated ME and my attorney.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,184
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Post by samantha25 on Jul 11, 2024 22:15:51 GMT
Sitting solidly in your corner and hoping for a positive outcome for you! I am sitting here, wondering if they want the lady friend to be kept in the dark and totally unaware of the situation for numerous reasons. Even if she truly does not know the real circumstances of his relationship with you, it will be in your best interest if she does not have a “heads up”. I am thinking that your attorney and forensic accountants really want to blindside her so she does not have a chance to a) “lawyer up” and b) go into damage control mode and attempt to hide all evidence of her relationship with your ex and the paper trail of the money. They both could be in a lot of financial distress if there are any implications with the IRS. The IRS does not fool around with money laundering, hiding or misrepresentation of income. It sounds like you have a really good team of people advocating for you. Hoping that you will be able to move on from all of this in the near future in a positive way. ETA - your ex really is all types of stupid. Isn’t he? Amazing what some people think they can get away with. Oh, good idea about the IRS. Isn't there a gift limit, like $15,000 to someone and if more, then have to report it as income? |
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,974
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 11, 2024 22:17:33 GMT
I have no advice other than to wish you amazing shark lawyer vibes for your day in court. If only we could have a Pea swarm of flies on the wall at it. We could all buzz around his narcissistic head when to judge makes her ruling in your favor.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,887
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jul 11, 2024 22:27:41 GMT
I can't wait until he finds out how much he underestimated ME and my attorney. Remember this in your darker moments! You've come SO FAR and he has NO idea. I'm proud of you! |
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Post by heckofagal on Jul 12, 2024 17:03:43 GMT
I truly wish the best for you and that your lawyer takes your soon-to-be ex to the cleaners! As for his lady friend...I sure hope the judge brings her in too!
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Post by annie on Jul 13, 2024 15:46:40 GMT
Thinking of you! I know it feels like this is taking forever, but in the end you are going to be so relieved and happy!! Sending (hugs).
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,887
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Post by Just T on Jul 13, 2024 16:14:27 GMT
Thanks again, all of you lovely people.  This is going to be a hard week coming up with the hearing looming as well as knowing that originally, my trial was supposed to be on Wednesday. For months, I was telling myself to hang in there, by mid July, it would be over. I have some things planned to distract myself for a few days, in addition to a fun lake trip over the weekend. Today, I am meeting a friend for lunch who is a real estate agent. One of the things I am stressing over as it nears the end is how I am going to afford to pay for somewhere to live as it's so expensive here. I have an idea of what I will be able to spend on the low end, and I am hoping she can give some reassurance that I will find somewhere decent for that amount of money. |
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,767
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Post by peasquared on Jul 13, 2024 20:50:58 GMT
It has to be so discouraging knowing it won't be over by mid-July, but come say September when you get the ultimate revenge in your Judge's ruling, it'll be sooooo worth it.
I am hoping and praying that you will not need to worry about your finances ever again. May that dream home/dream second act of life be just around the corner.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 14, 2024 2:08:40 GMT
Just T I keep picturing an angry mob of Peas tarring and feathering your STBX. I'm in if anyone sets it up!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 14, 2024 22:05:56 GMT
He is an engineer. A quite brilliant and talented one. He has always thought he is smarter than everyone else. I think that is why he has done such stupid things--I think he truly thought he would get away with it all. Everyone keeps saying, "he is too smart to be doing such stupid stuff." LOL I can't wait until he finds out how much he underestimated ME and my attorney. You go, girl! Sending all kinds of good vibes your way this week and that you have a wonderfully relaxing weekend after that! |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,887
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Post by Just T on Jul 17, 2024 14:42:31 GMT
Today is a bit rough.  It was supposed to be my trial. It was scheduled back in November. I took the day off work and I am going to spend it in a few fun ways. I am going to go to a local antique mall that I love and browse/look for some dishes, plates or bowls, etc that are orange that I can use at my daughter's baby shower in October. Her theme is A Little Pumpkin is on the Way. She likes vintagey stuff, so I am hoping and can find some things to use for food. I also am going to take myself out to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, sit on the patio, read a book. I may meet some friends later for a walk, but that depends on how grossly hot and humid it is. Finally, I am going to pack up my stuff and prepare some food to take with me on my lake getaway tomorrow. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,887
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Post by Just T on Jul 17, 2024 14:45:14 GMT
Oh, and the lake community I am spending the weekend at has a flower arranging class on Saturday that I signed up for. There is a local lavender farm that is hosting it, and they are bringing lavender and other flowers from their farm. I'm kind of excited for that. LOL
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Post by lurker on Jul 17, 2024 14:59:00 GMT
I'm so happy that you are taking care of yourself!
Stay strong and give him hell!
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 17, 2024 15:23:28 GMT
I really like your update, because you're treating yourself well on a day that could have been very stressful. The shower is going to be really cute. Have a fun day.
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,767
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Post by peasquared on Jul 17, 2024 15:25:32 GMT
I'm so glad you are making ways to find joy in today! You are an amazing gal!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jul 17, 2024 15:32:14 GMT
Sorry this all is taking so very long.
Wonderful that you are taking a day for YOU! Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy!!
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Post by gramasue on Jul 17, 2024 15:54:59 GMT
Sounds like a perfectly relaxing day, which you so totally deserve. Have a great time. I hope you find some awesome orange dishes for the 'little pumpkin's' shower.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,023
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 17, 2024 16:06:27 GMT
Enjoy your day today! I love that you are making it about you! Then, enjoy your weekend away! You really deserve a fabulous weekend considering all the garbage your, hopefully soon to be, ex has put you through.
Keep putting one foot forward and making yourself the priority!
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,266
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Jul 17, 2024 16:29:13 GMT
I like your update and that you are planning some fun stuff to get past the would-have-been date.
I remember when I was going through my medical malpractice case that things kept getting pushed and pushed when all I wanted was a resolution. It finally happened but it took so long that I would become discouraged. My divorce settled mainly because I didn't have the money to fight it anymore. I lost so much money to my attorney that I had to settle for less than what I deserved. So glad you have a good attorney that is earning their money!
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Post by lesserknownpea on Jul 19, 2024 9:32:26 GMT
I know that waiting on justice is hard, but I am living vicariously through you, so I appreciate how you are being strong and staying as positive as you can.
I, too, can’t wait for him to find out he underestimated you and your lawyer. And for you to come tell us all about it.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,887
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Post by Just T on Jul 19, 2024 21:47:44 GMT
*UPDATE 7/19* Not the day I was hoping for as the hearing that was supposed to be today at 9 am got postponed until August 16. I'm so down and have had a terrible day. My attorney texted me this morning and said that his attorney had a scheduling conflict. I am calling BS. This has been scheduled for weeks. I think they are stalling. The bad thing is that even the judge rules in my favor on this, it's only about6-7 weeks from the trial date, and that doesn't seem like enough time to do what she will need to do. Now, I am envisioning the trial being delayed again. I can't take much more of this sh!t. On a good note, I arrived at my little condo yesterday, and it's so lovely here. It's a very quiet, peaceful community, and I feel like I am far from home but in reality it's only 27 miles away. I spent the afternoon by the pool and treated myself to a fun fruity adult beverage. I have spent some time journaling, lots of reading on the deck. I will not want to leave on Monday. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 19, 2024 23:31:55 GMT
This is absolute crap. The fact that they can make up a schedule conflict at the last minute is bullshit. Why didn't they postpone whatever the damn conflict is or find it much sooner.
My xh told the judge he might get representation for our court date and she told him he better do it fast because she wasn't rescheduling if his attorney isn't available.
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Post by jill8909 on Jul 20, 2024 3:17:21 GMT
I'm so sorry for the delay.
we are currently debating whether to file a lawsuit against the builder of our home and your experience keeps popping up in my mind. Litigation is painfully slow and expensive.
best of luck
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Post by callmenutz on Jul 20, 2024 4:05:28 GMT
I’m so sorry, I’d be sick and tired of all of this!
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This is going to be a hard week coming up with the hearing looming as well as knowing that originally, my trial was supposed to be on Wednesday. For months, I was telling myself to hang in there, by mid July, it would be over. 
It was supposed to be my trial. It was scheduled back in November. 
