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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2024 14:30:39 GMT
Just T you don't think he would warn her that it's coming? I would be so pissed if my BF didn't tell me ahead of time I was being served.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884 
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 14:32:57 GMT
Be careful - people who believe they are invincible do not take kindly to setbacks. And make sure you have enough information from the forensic accountant before making a settlement offer. Great news that the judge ruled in your favor! Have you seen the full report from the forensic accountant, and has your attorney gone over it with you? Have you seen the settlement offer and had all your questions answered? Remember, your stbx might want to hurry things along so the girlfriend doesn't have to be involved, but your attorney needs to depose her. You need to take your time now to make sure that your attorney has all the financial information necessary for you to get all that you deserve. Stay strong and stay safe. No, I haven't seen a report yet from the forensic accountant. My attorney was going to contact him yesterday to see where he is at with everything. I haven't seen a settlement offer. My attorney is going to come up with one to present to him and his attorneys. I don't want to rush things, but she has said that right now is a good time to come up with a settlement while he is desperate to keep her out of it. But again, not rushing at all. I've come too far to do that now. I feel like right now, I have all the power.  Gotta say that is a good, while definitely scary, feeling. I've been saying for months that I can't wait til he realizes I'm not quite the naive fool he has always taken me for. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 14:33:56 GMT
Just T you don't think he would warn her that it's coming? I would be so pissed if my BF didn't tell me ahead of time I was being served. I really don't think so. I don't think he wants her to know anything about it. If she thinks he's a widower, he's been deceiving her for years. |
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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2024 14:39:28 GMT
Just T you don't think he would warn her that it's coming? I would be so pissed if my BF didn't tell me ahead of time I was being served. I really don't think so. I don't think he wants her to know anything about it. If she thinks he's a widower, he's been deceiving her for years. Holy shit. He's a piece of work. Off topic a little, but what do your kids know/think of him? Have you told them anything? My ex was a POS but when the boys were little, I never said anything to them. And as they got to be adults, they figured it out on their own. I honestly cannot image holding my tongue with them if they were adults when I was going through my divorce. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Aug 27, 2024 14:56:41 GMT
The petty bitch in me wants to know if you are going to inform the girlfriend after??? If i was ur bff id drop all that crap right in her lap... she doesn't know shes being lied to and deceived... she doesn't know she is the other woman..
Him losing his wife family home money and the girlfriend.... everything he deserves
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 15:13:13 GMT
I really don't think so. I don't think he wants her to know anything about it. If she thinks he's a widower, he's been deceiving her for years. Holy shit. He's a piece of work. Off topic a little, but what do your kids know/think of him? Have you told them anything? My ex was a POS but when the boys were little, I never said anything to them. And as they got to be adults, they figured it out on their own. I honestly cannot image holding my tongue with them if they were adults when I was going through my divorce. I haven't told them everything. But, they are all smart adults, they question me relentlessly sometimes, and I do tell them some things. Also, they have caught him in lies themselves. My son has even confronted him about lies. They are trying to keep a relationship with them, and he is trying too. I've told the kids the relationship they have with them is up to them and him, not me. He's been a terrible husband, but was always a great dad, so they are torn in a lot of ways. They are very supportive of me, hate what he has done, etc. As much as I despise him, I don't want them to feel like they can't have a relationship with him if they want to. They are struggling, though. My youngest son talks about it the most, and I have felt forced to tell him things I really didn't want to because he has gotten upset a few times about how long this is dragging out. He makes comments like, "We all think your attorney is dragging this out so she can get more money out of you!" So then I feel like I have to tell him that HE is the one dragging things out because he doesn't want me to get any of his money. My oldest daughter has always had a very close relationship with him, and she struggles the most, I think. I rarely talk about the divorce with or around her. My youngest daughter is sort of like my youngest son. My oldest son lives in Colorado and is kind of in his own little world anyway, and I think he rarely talks to his dad. Sorry for that long winded answer! |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 15:15:23 GMT
The petty bitch in me wants to know if you are going to inform the girlfriend after??? If i was ur bff id drop all that crap right in her lap... she doesn't know shes being lied to and deceived... she doesn't know she is the other woman.. Him losing his wife family home money and the girlfriend.... everything he deserves I honestly don't know if I will say anything to her. At first, I couldn't wait to. But now, I just think, let her have him. She'll eventually figure out what and who he is on her own. I just want him out of MY life, and that is all care about now. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 27, 2024 15:49:48 GMT
The petty bitch in me wants to know if you are going to inform the girlfriend after??? If i was ur bff id drop all that crap right in her lap... she doesn't know shes being lied to and deceived... she doesn't know she is the other woman.. Him losing his wife family home money and the girlfriend.... everything he deserves I honestly don't know if I will say anything to her. At first, I couldn't wait to. But now, I just think, let her have him. She'll eventually figure out what and who he is on her own. I just want him out of MY life, and that is all care about now. The thing I never get about liars, is the lack for forethought. So he'll never be able to have a normal life with her as you have children. He can't possibly think they're going to lie and say their mother is dead?!?!?! So she'll always be on the periphery of his life or he'll ghost his children. Elaborate lies are never sustainable. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 15:52:37 GMT
I honestly don't know if I will say anything to her. At first, I couldn't wait to. But now, I just think, let her have him. She'll eventually figure out what and who he is on her own. I just want him out of MY life, and that is all care about now. The thing I never get about liars, is the lack for forethought. So he'll never be able to have a normal life with her as you have children. He can't possibly think they're going to lie and say their mother is dead?!?!?! So she'll always be on the periphery of his life or he'll ghost his children. Elaborate lies are never sustainable. I was just talking about that with my friend last night. That's exactly what I said...he will never be able to have a normal life with her, so what is the goal of all this?? No way would my children go along with that lie. Does she even know he has adult children with a grandchild on the way? |
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,121
Location: Sacramento, Ca
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Post by gramma on Aug 27, 2024 16:01:48 GMT
I'm glad to see that the tide seems to be turning your way. You may have mentioned it before, but what does this asshat do for a living? How can he afford all these marathon trips?
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Post by scrapcat on Aug 27, 2024 16:13:21 GMT
I am glad your case is moving forward, but also am worried for you. I prob listen to too much true crime, but just be careful with your vehicle. Even if he doesn't know where you are staying, make sure he can't put a tracker device on car (or worse). Maybe even see about borrowing someone else's car for a bit. I pray all goes well and you stay safe!
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 16:16:10 GMT
I am glad your case is moving forward, but also am worried for you. I prob listen to too much true crime, but just be careful with your vehicle. Even if he doesn't know where you are staying, make sure he can't put a tracker device on car (or worse). Maybe even see about borrowing someone else's car for a bit. I pray all goes well and you stay safe! Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 16:16:39 GMT
I'm glad to see that the tide seems to be turning your way. You may have mentioned it before, but what does this asshat do for a living? How can he afford all these marathon trips? He is an engineer. |
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Post by scrapcat on Aug 27, 2024 16:20:56 GMT
I am glad your case is moving forward, but also am worried for you. I prob listen to too much true crime, but just be careful with your vehicle. Even if he doesn't know where you are staying, make sure he can't put a tracker device on car (or worse). Maybe even see about borrowing someone else's car for a bit. I pray all goes well and you stay safe! Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? You can check tire well areas, anywhere where someone could reach under and stick on the inside of the exterior. But if he has access to the interior, could be done that way to. Also newer cars, ones with apps and other types of connected devices have all that built right in. Probably just need the vin number to set it up and access. Maybe your attorney can consult with a police officer or private investigator to get some advice?
eta: I saw one suggestion that said you can look on your smartphones bluetooth/cellular menus to see if there is any sort of online device available. It may have a brand name or something that can be searched.
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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2024 17:07:22 GMT
Holy shit. He's a piece of work. Off topic a little, but what do your kids know/think of him? Have you told them anything? My ex was a POS but when the boys were little, I never said anything to them. And as they got to be adults, they figured it out on their own. I honestly cannot image holding my tongue with them if they were adults when I was going through my divorce. I haven't told them everything. But, they are all smart adults, they question me relentlessly sometimes, and I do tell them some things. Also, they have caught him in lies themselves. My son has even confronted him about lies. They are trying to keep a relationship with them, and he is trying too. I've told the kids the relationship they have with them is up to them and him, not me. He's been a terrible husband, but was always a great dad, so they are torn in a lot of ways. They are very supportive of me, hate what he has done, etc. As much as I despise him, I don't want them to feel like they can't have a relationship with him if they want to. They are struggling, though. My youngest son talks about it the most, and I have felt forced to tell him things I really didn't want to because he has gotten upset a few times about how long this is dragging out. He makes comments like, "We all think your attorney is dragging this out so she can get more money out of you!" So then I feel like I have to tell him that HE is the one dragging things out because he doesn't want me to get any of his money. My oldest daughter has always had a very close relationship with him, and she struggles the most, I think. I rarely talk about the divorce with or around her. My youngest daughter is sort of like my youngest son. My oldest son lives in Colorado and is kind of in his own little world anyway, and I think he rarely talks to his dad. Sorry for that long winded answer! You're doing the right thing about not telling them everything as well as they being responsible for their own relationship. |
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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2024 17:09:41 GMT
The petty bitch in me wants to know if you are going to inform the girlfriend after??? If i was ur bff id drop all that crap right in her lap... she doesn't know shes being lied to and deceived... she doesn't know she is the other woman..
Him losing his wife family home money and the girlfriend.... everything he deserves Right?! I would be serving her all the shit on a silver platter. If she chose to stay with him, it would be because she liked shit and not because she didn't know the truth. |
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Post by summer on Aug 27, 2024 17:24:57 GMT
He doesn’t want his girlfriend brought into this trial because he knows she’s about to discover all the lies he’s been feeding her. I’m betting she thinks he’s widowed and will be shocked to know you are alive and well and have been living in the same house as him this whole time. I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves him when she finds out. I hope you get everything you are entitled to. Stay strong, stay safe and hopefully he will be out of your life soon.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,590
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Aug 27, 2024 17:49:18 GMT
I'm so glad the judge ruled in your favor on the girlfriend being included!! Congrats on that win!!
I'm just wondering how on earth how this girlfriend isn't suspicious? They've been together for a while now, even if she thinks he's widowed, wouldn't she wonder why she's never been to his house? I know after dating someone for a bit, I want to go see where and how he lives. If he always had an excuse to why I can't, I'd start getting very suspicious.
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Post by lurker on Aug 27, 2024 17:52:38 GMT
The hearing about making his gf a third party was today, and the judge ruled in my favor! I'm not going to say too much yet, but my attorney is going to come up with a settlement offer for him because he is super pissed about it, and has been saying for months that he absolutely does NOT want her brought into or even for his attorney to talk to her. OMG, for the first time in three years, I can breathe and feel some real hope. Cross your fingers that this will be over for me soon!! Oh, she was so worried about how upset he was, that she drove me to my car when it was over. And told me to not go home. I already had plans to stay with a friend for a couple of days and took things with me when I left for work this morning. Finally, some good news! Fingers, toes and eyes crossed that this ordeal is soon over with a mammoth settlement in your favor! Stay safe (I watch far too many true crime shows, too). |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,853
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Post by Rhondito on Aug 27, 2024 18:08:46 GMT
This is such great news, but I'm so nervous for you! Be careful!
Although, he could be so afraid of his world crumbling around him that he may be working on a settlement offer of his own.
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Post by Lexica on Aug 27, 2024 18:16:04 GMT
I really don't think so. I don't think he wants her to know anything about it. If she thinks he's a widower, he's been deceiving her for years. Holy shit. He's a piece of work. Off topic a little, but what do your kids know/think of him? Have you told them anything? My ex was a POS but when the boys were little, I never said anything to them. And as they got to be adults, they figured it out on their own. I honestly cannot image holding my tongue with them if they were adults when I was going through my divorce. My son was an infant when I asked for the divorce so I had years and years where I did my best to keep things from my son while at the same time refusing to lie to him. There was one time that he asked me a question that to answer would have really needed to open up about his dad and I couldn’t think of a way around it. He was about 8 years old at that time. I finally just said that I didn’t think having that kind of conversation with him at his age was appropriate. I promised him that when he turned 18, I would answer any and all questions he had. That appeased him enough to get him to ease up on the questions for a while, but he was a smart kid and he had begun forming his own opinions. By the time he turned 18, he had formed his own opinions. And unfortunately, his father had been feeding him lies about me for years and my son believed them for a while. He eventually figured it out and now doesn’t talk to his father at all. I’m sure that the fact that his fiancé really really dislikes him to the point that she refused to go to dinner with he and his wife, telling my son that she just had such a strong feeling of distrust when he was around and that she didn’t feel safe. That was many years ago and I am guessing it was the final nail for my son. And he and his dad had had such a rocky relationship for so many years that it was no shocking surprise. It is really hard as the mom to go through while shielding young children, isn’t it? |
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Post by Lexica on Aug 27, 2024 18:24:20 GMT
I worry about you... I get scott peterson amber frey vibes.... maybe because we are talking about them in another thread.... Hopefully he realizes he cant run a marathon in prison and so he doesn't get that extreme..... but the fact that he is a new gun owner.... its enough to fear for you... Please be safe Wait, he recently bought a gun? I don’t think I knew this, or if I did, I forgot. Why would he suddenly get a gun now? Does he keep it at the house, or at his work? I wouldn’t think he takes it on all of his trips with him. How did you learn about the gun? This makes me feel even more apprehensive than before. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 18:26:09 GMT
I worry about you... I get scott peterson amber frey vibes.... maybe because we are talking about them in another thread.... Hopefully he realizes he cant run a marathon in prison and so he doesn't get that extreme..... but the fact that he is a new gun owner.... its enough to fear for you... Please be safe Wait, he recently bought a gun? I don’t think I knew this, or if I did, I forgot. Why would he suddenly get a gun now? Does he keep it at the house, or at his work? I wouldn’t think he takes it on all of his trips with him. How did you learn about the gun? This makes me feel even more apprehensive than before. He bought a gun in 2022. It was in a venmo report I received from my attorney of his venmo transactions. I have no idea where it is. I've searched everything I can think of. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 27, 2024 18:30:29 GMT
Another one hating that you need to essentially hide for a few days. I am thrilled the ruling went in your favor. I bet your STBX is going to try settle before his running partner gets pulled into the mess because I 100% doubt she knows you exist and he is currently married. Hoping it is a very generous offer. This is what I have thought as well. She may have no idea that he has a wife and children and I wonder if he has tried to play himself off as a nice guy and a real catch instead of cheating scum. Please be extra, extra cautious. I am so happy that the judge ruled in your favor. I am surprised at the level of anger I can feel for someone I have never met. I just hate injustice. I am sitting the middle of her definitely knowing and not knowing a thing. I feel like she's been fed a line of BS for a few years and her having to go to court would let her know that all of things that he has said about you are not true or have been exaggerated. She won't know how to feel about all of his lies. Hoping all goes well for you. |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,073
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Aug 27, 2024 18:33:12 GMT
I am glad your case is moving forward, but also am worried for you. I prob listen to too much true crime, but just be careful with your vehicle. Even if he doesn't know where you are staying, make sure he can't put a tracker device on car (or worse). Maybe even see about borrowing someone else's car for a bit. I pray all goes well and you stay safe! Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? The tracker in my cousin's car was buried deep in the engine, took a mechanic to find it, the mechanic took the car for a test drive and dropped the tracker in a remote area. You tube has lots of videos if you search find car tracker device, might be worth the time to check some out. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 27, 2024 18:33:54 GMT
The petty bitch in me wants to know if you are going to inform the girlfriend after??? If i was ur bff id drop all that crap right in her lap... she doesn't know shes being lied to and deceived... she doesn't know she is the other woman.. Him losing his wife family home money and the girlfriend.... everything he deserves I honestly don't know if I will say anything to her. At first, I couldn't wait to. But now, I just think, let her have him. She'll eventually figure out what and who he is on her own. I just want him out of MY life, and that is all care about now. I wouldn't talk to her. Maybe one day she'll come asking, but if she knew about you, she doesn't deserve a conversation. I think it will all work out in the end for you, but it does seem like it is taking a long time. |
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Post by Zee on Aug 27, 2024 18:34:02 GMT
I worry about you... I get scott peterson amber frey vibes.... maybe because we are talking about them in another thread.... Hopefully he realizes he cant run a marathon in prison and so he doesn't get that extreme..... but the fact that he is a new gun owner.... its enough to fear for you... Please be safe Wait, he recently bought a gun? I don’t think I knew this, or if I did, I forgot. Why would he suddenly get a gun now? Does he keep it at the house, or at his work? I wouldn’t think he takes it on all of his trips with him. How did you learn about the gun? This makes me feel even more apprehensive than before. I agree, and if he's dumb enough to think he can get away with all his other lies, I would be very worried that he would think he could get away with an "accidental" shooting! I hate to be alarmist but years of murder TV has made me think the worst of this situation. I'm glad he's never been threatening, but putting "widowed" had all my hairs up and I don't think I knew about the new gun. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 27, 2024 18:36:45 GMT
Wait, he recently bought a gun? I don’t think I knew this, or if I did, I forgot. Why would he suddenly get a gun now? Does he keep it at the house, or at his work? I wouldn’t think he takes it on all of his trips with him. How did you learn about the gun? This makes me feel even more apprehensive than before. I agree, and if he's dumb enough to think he can get away with all his other lies, I would be very worried that he would think he could get away with an "accidental" shooting! I hate to be alarmist but years of murder TV has made me think the worst of this situation. I'm glad he's never been threatening, but putting "widowed" had all my hairs up and I don't think I knew about the new gun. I too watch a lot of crime tv. Men kill their wives or have them killed for way less than he has at stake right now. I may not have mentioned the gun before. So much has happened and I have discovered so much, that I may not have. |
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Post by Zee on Aug 27, 2024 18:54:34 GMT
I agree, and if he's dumb enough to think he can get away with all his other lies, I would be very worried that he would think he could get away with an "accidental" shooting! I hate to be alarmist but years of murder TV has made me think the worst of this situation. I'm glad he's never been threatening, but putting "widowed" had all my hairs up and I don't think I knew about the new gun. I too watch a lot of crime tv. Men kill their wives or have them killed for way less than he has at stake right now. I may not have mentioned the gun before. So much has happened and I have discovered so much, that I may not have. Please be safe! |
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Post by KikiPea on Aug 27, 2024 19:00:28 GMT
It’s about dadgummed time something goes your way! Praying this is over for you soon. 🤗
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Gotta say that is a good, while definitely scary, feeling. I've been saying for months that I can't wait til he realizes I'm not quite the naive fool he has always taken me for.
