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Post by Lexica on Aug 27, 2024 20:39:13 GMT
Wait, he recently bought a gun? I don’t think I knew this, or if I did, I forgot. Why would he suddenly get a gun now? Does he keep it at the house, or at his work? I wouldn’t think he takes it on all of his trips with him. How did you learn about the gun? This makes me feel even more apprehensive than before. I agree, and if he's dumb enough to think he can get away with all his other lies, I would be very worried that he would think he could get away with an "accidental" shooting! I hate to be alarmist but years of murder TV has made me think the worst of this situation. I'm glad he's never been threatening, but putting "widowed" had all my hairs up and I don't think I knew about the new gun. Yes, between the widowed status and the gun purchase, it makes me very uncomfortable too. Why list himself as widowed? Why not divorced? And his insistence that this woman be kept away from his divorce proceedings makes it obvious that he has been snowing her about his circumstances. I would sure be interested to know what story he will tell her now. There is a pattern with these narcissistic men getting girlfriends, lying to them about being married, and then thinking they are smart enough to get rid of the family and move on to the new relationship without the new girlfriend ever learning the truth. Just how they would create anything real with a girlfriend that can never meet any family or friends that might mention the wife and kids at some point apparently doesn’t occur to these men. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 27, 2024 20:51:33 GMT
I haven’t read all the replies yet but I hope you don’t share a phone plan. I know on iPhones I could see where my husband is based on find my phone / persons. You don’t want to lead him to your friend’s home.
I hope he realizes that if you disappeared he would be the chief suspect.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 27, 2024 21:05:39 GMT
I wonder why she has never mentioned coming to his place. That is odd. Does she know he has kids? After all these years it is just so strange that she hasn’t met them or been to his house. Obviously she can’t come to the house since you live there but I think that would be a red flag to any of us also not meeting his kids.
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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2024 21:53:52 GMT
I wonder why she has never mentioned coming to his place. That is odd. Does she know he has kids? After all these years it is just so strange that she hasn’t met them or been to his house. Obviously she can’t come to the house since you live there but I think that would be a red flag to any of us also not meeting his kids. Right? I feel like that should be a billboard sized red flag for her. But I guess not. |
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Post by KikiPea on Aug 27, 2024 22:14:03 GMT
My dH just mentioned to also be sure you always roll up your windows when you are not in the car. Someone could throw an AirTag in the car and be able to locate you that way, as well.
Please stay safe!
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Aug 27, 2024 22:24:19 GMT
That is a pretty hopeful update! I hope that the end of his charade is near.
Having said that, could you do us a favor? Could you perhaps post a daily or weekly "I'm okay" post or something here? Even if you have no updates. I remember you mentioning him buying a gun. Plus the fact that even your attorney is wary. He truly thinks he can get away with anything. And now he will start feeling cornered. Because of your attorney, he will be the main suspect if anything happened to you. But he feels he's too smart to get caught. Pick a faithful confidant and let them know EVERYTHING. Someone he doesn't know.
And I hope I'm just being too cautious for your sake. May he come through with a huge settlement. Good luck and stay safe!
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,550 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Aug 27, 2024 23:36:02 GMT
What a piece of work he is! I can’t imagine putting widowed on his fb profile. Does he not have any siblings/cousins/close friends who are fb friends and would know it’s bull$hit? He really seems clueless in so many ways.
Be safe, and know that we’re all in your corner!
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,214
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Aug 27, 2024 23:47:41 GMT
I’m betting the gf is getting free trips around the world. She may be a user and doesn’t care about his life outside off her fun.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,160
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Post by teddyw on Aug 28, 2024 1:23:20 GMT
Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? You can check tire well areas, anywhere where someone could reach under and stick on the inside of the exterior. But if he has access to the interior, could be done that way to. Also newer cars, ones with apps and other types of connected devices have all that built right in. Probably just need the vin number to set it up and access. Maybe your attorney can consult with a police officer or private investigator to get some advice?
eta: I saw one suggestion that said you can look on your smartphones bluetooth/cellular menus to see if there is any sort of online device available. It may have a brand name or something that can be searched.
The police or local sheriff is sometimes willing to do a search for you. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 28, 2024 9:28:47 GMT
Ugh. Dumb, desperate, and gun owning is a terrible combination. I’ll be so glad when this is over for you. I, too, want you to see his face when he realizes you’re not some naive thing he can rob blind and treat like dirt with impunity.
But more than that, I want you to enjoy a free, healthy, single life.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,853
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Post by Rhondito on Aug 28, 2024 14:39:48 GMT
I wonder why she has never mentioned coming to his place. I wonder if she lives in a different city and he always travels to her? Has JustT ever mentioned the GF's location as in local or not? But yes, very odd. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:03:53 GMT
I wonder why she has never mentioned coming to his place. I wonder if she lives in a different city and he always travels to her? Has JustT ever mentioned the GF's location as in local or not? But yes, very odd. She is not local, and no, I've never mentioned her location. She lives about 800 miles and several states away. I know she has been in our city at least once, and I wondered how he got around bringing her to his house. I wondered at the time if he rented a house or condo on vrbo or something and passed it off as his own. We don't actually live in St. Louis, but in the area, and he always registers for the races with our city. So I have a feeling he found a place for the weekend in our city. I know she was here for several days because it was the weekend of a big marathon here, and for a couple of days before all the races, she posted pics of herself at several STL tourist attractions. He told me he was in Chicago for work, but I found the race results and he ran them, with her. |
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Post by librarylady on Aug 28, 2024 15:07:25 GMT
Do you have an actual date for your divorce hearing?
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:07:43 GMT
I’m betting the gf is getting free trips around the world. She may be a user and doesn’t care about his life outside off her fun. She seems like she has plenty of money of her own. My boss found her house on Google Earth right at the beginning of this, and she seems to live in a ritzy area of a large city. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:11:00 GMT
I’m betting the gf is getting free trips around the world. She may be a user and doesn’t care about his life outside off her fun. She seems to have money of her own. Right at the beginning of all this, my boss googled and found her address and then her house on Google Earth. She seems to live in a ritzy area of a large city. We also haven't been able to figure out what she does for a job, if she even has one. We are all afraid to look her up on Linked In since people can see who looks at their profile. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:12:21 GMT
Do you have an actual date for your divorce hearing? Yes, in early October. Although if we don't come to a settlement and my attorney does end up subpeoning her, I doubt that will happen as there won't be enough time for her to do what she needs to do with her. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:14:21 GMT
What a piece of work he is! I can’t imagine putting widowed on his fb profile. Does he not have any siblings/cousins/close friends who are fb friends and would know it’s bull$hit? He really seems clueless in so many ways. Be safe, and know that we’re all in your corner! Oh, he has blocked everyone. Even his brother. However, he did miss one of his sister's kids, who called her mom when she saw it and was horrified and asked her "Mom! Did aunt Justt die??? Uncle _____ has on FB that he is widowed!" |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 15:20:44 GMT
I haven’t read all the replies yet but I hope you don’t share a phone plan. I know on iPhones I could see where my husband is based on find my phone / persons. You don’t want to lead him to your friend’s home. I hope he realizes that if you disappeared he would be the chief suspect. We are still on the same plan. After I read this comment yesterday, I did call the phone carrier and ask if he could put a find my phone thing on my phone without my permission, and they said no. They did say there are programs he could install if he had access to my phone, but he doesn't. Even if he got a hold of it, it has face recognition and my password is not something he would ever be able to guess and figure out. |
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Post by sideways on Aug 28, 2024 17:46:12 GMT
I’m betting the gf is getting free trips around the world. She may be a user and doesn’t care about his life outside off her fun. She seems to have money of her own. Right at the beginning of all this, my boss googled and found her address and then her house on Google Earth. She seems to live in a ritzy area of a large city. We also haven't been able to figure out what she does for a job, if she even has one. We are all afraid to look her up on Linked In since people can see who looks at their profile. Have someone else do it. If you know what city she’s in have someone from the same area check her profile. It’s not unusual for people to view profiles of others. Recruiting firms and employers do it all the time. Since she has no clue you exist I’m sure someone viewing her profile wouldn’t raise any flags. I’m sure a trusted pea would do it for you. |
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Post by sideways on Aug 28, 2024 17:50:23 GMT
I found this. www.linkedin.com/help/linkedin/answer/a540651“Important to know You won't see this information if you haven't had any profile views in the past 90 days. Also, viewing timeframes may vary over time and as people view your profile. When possible, we try to display a minimum of five views over any timeframe. Viewer insights are only available to LinkedIn’s Premium subscribers, and they are subject to the viewer’s privacy settings.” |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Aug 28, 2024 19:32:01 GMT
I haven’t read all the replies yet but I hope you don’t share a phone plan. I know on iPhones I could see where my husband is based on find my phone / persons. You don’t want to lead him to your friend’s home. I hope he realizes that if you disappeared he would be the chief suspect. We are still on the same plan. After I read this comment yesterday, I did call the phone carrier and ask if he could put a find my phone thing on my phone without my permission, and they said no. They did say there are programs he could install if he had access to my phone, but he doesn't. Even if he got a hold of it, it has face recognition and my password is not something he would ever be able to guess and figure out. You need to detach from him legally and completely. Get your own phone plan. Get your own bank account. Get your own credit card. This should have been done long ago. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 28, 2024 19:32:30 GMT
She seems to have money of her own. Right at the beginning of all this, my boss googled and found her address and then her house on Google Earth. She seems to live in a ritzy area of a large city. We also haven't been able to figure out what she does for a job, if she even has one. We are all afraid to look her up on Linked In since people can see who looks at their profile. Have someone else do it. If you know what city she’s in have someone from the same area check her profile. It’s not unusual for people to view profiles of others. Recruiting firms and employers do it all the time. Since she has no clue you exist I’m sure someone viewing her profile wouldn’t raise any flags. I’m sure a trusted pea would do it for you. Have your lawyer do it.  |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Aug 28, 2024 22:01:44 GMT
We are still on the same plan. After I read this comment yesterday, I did call the phone carrier and ask if he could put a find my phone thing on my phone without my permission, and they said no. They did say there are programs he could install if he had access to my phone, but he doesn't. Even if he got a hold of it, it has face recognition and my password is not something he would ever be able to guess and figure out. You need to detach from him legally and completely. Get your own phone plan. Get your own bank account. Get your own credit card. This should have been done long ago. I have had my own bank account at a completely different bank for well over 2 years. I did that before I had even filed for divorce because I was sick of him leaving me with no money while he was out of town. I have been holding off on getting my own phone plan as long as I can since he is still paying for it. But I am planning to even get a new number and not give it to him once the divorce is final. |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 28, 2024 22:58:49 GMT
Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? The tracker in my cousin's car was buried deep in the engine, took a mechanic to find it, the mechanic took the car for a test drive and dropped the tracker in a remote area. The private investigator hired by my ex and his lawyer put a tracker on my minivan. It was discovered when I went for an oil change and tire rotation. The business was then owned by the scorned ex-wife of the previous owner who had won control in her divorce. So she was ready to fight for any woman she felt like needed a champion. One of the mechanic's called it to her attention. She told me. And then she suggested handing it to a long-distance truck driver who they were doing an emergency job for. That man took it two hours away and then threw it in a river as he crossed a bridge. So that meant the ex had to pay for a tracker that could not be retrieved. Even better. What is they say? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? |
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Post by questioning on Aug 28, 2024 23:13:59 GMT
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Post by 16joy on Aug 29, 2024 0:00:44 GMT
If you haven't updated your will, please do so. Ask the attorney if you can include verbiage about any monies you may be entitled to to as part of your divorce.
I think everyone should do this as soon as they decide they are getting divorced.
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Post by 16joy on Aug 29, 2024 0:02:06 GMT
Also, change 401, IRA and insurance beneficiaries since they are outside of a will.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,930
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Post by CeeScraps on Aug 29, 2024 0:36:00 GMT
Ok….I haven’t read anything but he has a gun and thinks he can do whatever he wants.
I would inform my attorney of the gun. I would also inform the local police department of the gun and give them a summary of what has been going on. It can’t hurt and maybe they would keep an eye out.
The AirPod thing could be just about anywhere. Do you or your attorney know a mechanic friend that could check the car from up/down & in/out? Use them to look.
Phone….get the heck off the plan with him. He can see all sorts of things with being on the same plan as you. He sees phone numbers and text numbers. I don’t know about websites. Is your phone/computer linked? If so then he sees a lot of stuff. Files on an iPhone are available on a computer or an iPad.
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,468
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Post by katybee on Aug 29, 2024 1:23:05 GMT
Just T you don't think he would warn her that it's coming? I would be so pissed if my BF didn't tell me ahead of time I was being served. I really don't think so. I don't think he wants her to know anything about it. If she thinks he's a widower, he's been deceiving her for years. So is he never going to introduce her to his kids? What kind of life is that? |
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,160
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Post by teddyw on Aug 29, 2024 2:25:09 GMT
Someone has mentioned this before, about a tracker. Is there a way I can find out if my car has one on it?? The tracker in my cousin's car was buried deep in the engine, took a mechanic to find it, the mechanic took the car for a test drive and dropped the tracker in a remote area. The private investigator hired by my ex and his lawyer put a tracker on my minivan. It was discovered when I went for an oil change and tire rotation. The business was then owned by the scorned ex-wife of the previous owner who had won control in her divorce. So she was ready to fight for any woman she felt like needed a champion. One of the mechanic's called it to her attention. She told me. And then she suggested handing it to a long-distance truck driver who they were doing an emergency job for. That man took it two hours away and then threw it in a river as he crossed a bridge. So that meant the ex had to pay for a tracker that could not be retrieved. Even better. What is they say? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? I love the disposal but hate that your crazy ex did this to you. |
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