aKathy's What's for Dinner 10/25

Happy Friday! scrapmaven - that instructor sounds like a mess. Not all creatives make good instructors, nor do they always make good business owners. If you want to continue, I would just zoom in on the class. But since you haven't paid, I'd seriously consider bailing on this one.

DH has been making great progress this week with PT. Baby steps but good progress towards standing on his own. This afternoon is going to be stressful and my stomach has been in knots all morning. The rehab he is in wants to discharge him to home care tomorrow. We are not set up for that and are not interested in it. Insurance is telling them to request an extension, but they seem reluctant to do so. There is a meeting with the care team at 1 pm in DH's room today. The other option is to see if another inpatient rehab would take him, or move him to skilled nursing facility where he would just get half the PT/OT he currently gets.  Both of those will take time to accomplish.  Would appreciate any good thoughts and prayers as we deal with this issue today.

No idea what dinner will be, but will try to post this evening with an update on the situation.  

This is ludicrous. I vote you do what you *can* do to the best of your abilities and you not feel pressured to push yourself beyond what you can handle right now. I'll remind you: Knitting is supposed to be FUN! And if you aren't having fun with this class, find another when you are up to it. Either that or do what I do, knit with mistakes. Hahaha...



This is awesome.


I am glad to hear this. Esther was way too tied to home. I always felt like it was good for her to mingle with real live people.



Well, first of all, let me just say, I dug super deep, like way deep to come in as calm, cool, and collected as I possibly could. I held every emotion (maybe with the exception of a tinge of resentment) at bay. But I was tough as nails which is so out of character for me. First thing he stated was that he knows there are some issues in our office and they brought me here so I could talk openly about the things that were bothering me. My response was that he should know exactly what my issues are because I have been telling him since January of 2023. And I could tell he was stunned. Then I followed up by telling him I have three issues: 1) she doesn't work consistently, she cannot be reached during business hours 2) she is constantly messing things up. I don't trust her to handle anything. And I believe there are cognitive deficits and she is just not capable. I gave him two examples just in the past week alone. 3) I told them straight up that I feel they have been completely unresponsive and mismanaged the situation. He looked like he was going to be sick. He asked me what I think needs to happen in our office to improve things. And I told him straight up that she needs to go and the two of them need to get a much better handle on the ins and outs of our work. I gave him an example last week. She prepared a report (it was all zeros), they both approved the report (didn't pay attention), and then it got to my boss's boss and she asked me what happened because everyone assumes that all the work is being produced by me because 90% of it is. I was like this is fully representative of what is going on in our office. I told them, they can't keep someone incompetent around because they aren't doing their job of monitoring.

He asked me how I feel about the job I do. I told him that I bring my A-game every day and that's what's needed in this job. We deal with a lot of money and we can't afford to be making careless mistakes. I told him that I feel pressure because I have no one I can trust to back me up and check my own work for mistakes. I told him that I feel like I can't trust anything coming out of our office unless my hands were involved in the preparation of it. I told him I get involved in everything I can't clearly distance myself from even things I shouldn't have to be involved in because I feel that my name is attached to the work being produced by our office and I don't want to be tainted by incompetence. I stated that so far we've been able to correct her mistakes, but what happens when she makes one so big we can't?

He said that communication was very important in a position of our nature. I reminded him that he stated in my annual evaluation that my communication with others outside our unit was excellent but he dinged me for communication with my coworker. I asked him, has anyone (I named just about every category of person I deal with) ever made a complaint about my communication or performance? He looked like he was ready to choke. And he said, no, no one has ever complained about your communication or performance. I said, isn't that telling that no one has a single issue with me, except her?

My hour long meeting lasted 20 minutes. They wrote down everything I said. And I was clear, she's incompetent, they're incompetent, and it's time for some changes. The one guys said absolutely nothing. The director looked like he was going to be sick. When I was done talking, I said, if you haven't got any more questions, I'm done talking. They said, no, nothing. I told everyone to have a good day and I left.

I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time. I was diplomatic and chose my words carefully, but I didn't smooth anything over. I was direct. They could tell I was firm in my position. And I clearly said what needed to be said out loud, she needs to go. I criticized them too, but I stopped short of telling them they needed to go too.

When I got back home, I got a message from his secretary who was there to take notes and she said I nailed it. She was like, the two of them are trying to figure out how to respond to what you said. I am very proud of myself. From my perspective, things couldn't have gone better.

Now today, I caught another mistake. I sent the assistant director an email with screenshots because I want him and her to have the right information. Yet, I told him that I did not want her to think I was being critical. He responded by asking some questions and then concluded with a very weird paragraph. It sounded like he was walking on eggshells to try not to offend me. I certainly didn't want that result. But leads me to believe that maybe I'm going to be taken seriously. Either way, I reiterated over and over again, that they had two years to fix this.

We will probably have rechauffe lasagna for dinner.

Happy Friday my friends!

scrapmaven. How frustrating. You should provide feedback and maybe even ask for a refund. To me, if a zoom link is offered then zoom is the way to go!

**GypsyGirl** sending prayers for your husband to remain where he is for continuity of care

KelleeM good news on your MMG!! 🎉

stormsts. How fun to surprise your parents. They will love that! Enjoy!

I’m going to add my frustration to the pile today. I got home last evening. Chilled for a few mins. I didn’t unpack or anything. My phone ,iPad and laptop all needed to be charged. I laid down in bed ,hear a pop and our power went out. We still are without power. I’ve been working and charging things in my car. I’ve had offers to go places but wish it would just come back on. I feel behind with work but hate to schlep somewhere to set up and then have the power come on.
Dinner will likely be take out of some sort. I need to plan a few meals and get groceries. It this rate I’ll work all weekend. .

wow jeremysgirl.. you nailed them to the wall!! so proud of you being able to maintain the strength needed for that.

I do feel better today, but think I will skip the gym again. I am sorting pictures for a crop on saturday. but need to check completed albums.. as i am putting together baby books 35 yrs late.

our new next door neighbor invited my child (the one with autism) over for a dinner/craft night with. her and her friends. they are about the same age and found that they have many things in common!! the neighbor has a one yr old kid, a brother with autism who comes every week to help out and is just a lovely person. She has a phd in chemistry so does something technical for work. my child had lots of fun!! she has very limited in person social life so it was so nice!! she does get out to play pokemon go.
the house across the street (empty for 6-7 yrs) has just been sold to a young couple. it went for over $3 million. our neighborhood is changing!!

so tonight, we are having salad, chicken someway and fruit.

jeremysgirl [/quote]Well, first of all, let me just say, I dug super deep, like way deep to come in as calm, cool, and collected as I possibly could. I held every emotion (maybe with the exception of a tinge of resentment) at bay. But I was tough as nails which is so out of character for me. First thing he stated was that he knows there are some issues in our office and they brought me here so I could talk openly about the things that were bothering me. My response was that he should know exactly what my issues are because I have been telling him since January of 2023. And I could tell he was stunned. Then I followed up by telling him I have three issues: 1) she doesn't work consistently, she cannot be reached during business hours 2) she is constantly messing things up. I don't trust her to handle anything. And I believe there are cognitive deficits and she is just not capable. I gave him two examples just in the past week alone. 3) I told them straight up that I feel they have been completely unresponsive and mismanaged the situation. He looked like he was going to be sick. He asked me what I think needs to happen in our office to improve things. And I told him straight up that she needs to go and the two of them need to get a much better handle on the ins and outs of our work. I gave him an example last week. She prepared a report (it was all zeros), they both approved the report (didn't pay attention), and then it got to my boss's boss and she asked me what happened because everyone assumes that all the work is being produced by me because 90% of it is. I was like this is fully representative of what is going on in our office. I told them, they can't keep someone incompetent around because they aren't doing their job of monitoring.

He asked me how I feel about the job I do. I told him that I bring my A-game every day and that's what's needed in this job. We deal with a lot of money and we can't afford to be making careless mistakes. I told him that I feel pressure because I have no one I can trust to back me up and check my own work for mistakes. I told him that I feel like I can't trust anything coming out of our office unless my hands were involved in the preparation of it. I told him I get involved in everything I can't clearly distance myself from even things I shouldn't have to be involved in because I feel that my name is attached to the work being produced by our office and I don't want to be tainted by incompetence. I stated that so far we've been able to correct her mistakes, but what happens when she makes one so big we can't?

He said that communication was very important in a position of our nature. I reminded him that he stated in my annual evaluation that my communication with others outside our unit was excellent but he dinged me for communication with my coworker. I asked him, has anyone (I named just about every category of person I deal with) ever made a complaint about my communication or performance? He looked like he was ready to choke. And he said, no, no one has ever complained about your communication or performance. I said, isn't that telling that no one has a single issue with me, except her?

My hour long meeting lasted 20 minutes. They wrote down everything I said. And I was clear, she's incompetent, they're incompetent, and it's time for some changes. The one guys said absolutely nothing. The director looked like he was going to be sick. When I was done talking, I said, if you haven't got any more questions, I'm done talking. They said, no, nothing. I told everyone to have a good day and I left.

I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time. I was diplomatic and chose my words carefully, but I didn't smooth anything over. I was direct. They could tell I was firm in my position. And I clearly said what needed to be said out loud, she needs to go. I criticized them too, but I stopped short of telling them they needed to go too.

When I got back home, I got a message from his secretary who was there to take notes and she said I nailed it. She was like, the two of them are trying to figure out how to respond to what you said. I am very proud of myself. From my perspective, things couldn't have gone better.

Now today, I caught another mistake. I sent the assistant director an email with screenshots because I want him and her to have the right information. Yet, I told him that I did not want her to think I was being critical. He responded by asking some questions and then concluded with a very weird paragraph. It sounded like he was walking on eggshells to try not to offend me. I certainly didn't want that result. But leads me to believe that maybe I'm going to be taken seriously. Either way, I reiterated over and over again, that they had two years to fix this.

We will probably have rechauffe lasagna for dinner.
[/quote]


WoooooooFREAKINGhoooooooo! I am so proud of you. That's incredibly tough to do, and you did that damn thing.

Hi to everyone...I'm home this morning, trying to catch up a bit. We camped last week and between being exhausted from that (though it was great!) and family drama I've been low this week. But this morning I have made pie dough, on my 2nd load of laundry, finally cleaned the kitchen (I hate dishes in the sink and I hadn't emptied the dw). I made myself a mocha and I'm taking a break. Hoping Nick comes home early so we can take a ride to St. Joe, but if it doesn't happen today, maybe tomorrow. I have a ton of grading to do. If we don't go out I will make sausage tortellini soup and chicken pesto panini for dinner. Maybe a bottle of wine to celebrate some great feedback from students (my director called to share it with me). Or maybe apple pie, as I made a ton of apple pie fillibg from honeycrisp apples this week.

So happy to see folks back posting here. I haven't been myself, but it makes me sad and unsettled when my fave peeps have conflict.

Have a great day everyone!

Our local DMV in WA couldn't rely on having cars parked for anyone doing the road test to parallel park between, so had us park between perfectly spaced pipes in the parking lot. Just an idea for your DS to practice the move without the intimidation of being on the road/in traffic. And yes, when we moved from Canada to WA both, we all had to do the road test after being licensed for 20+ years.

I didn't know whether to be happy or sad for my kids because it isn't a required skill in CA.

So happy you had a clear mammo this year!

 Honestly, I think it would be hard to teach correcting mistakes to multiple beginners in a group session as learning skills are so different and knitting has the added (IMHO) twist of spacial understanding. 

I'm so sorry, and a little stunned, that the rehab is creating your current stress and hope your DH is able to stay where he will get the best combination of PT and OT. Normally I'd be all for getting home ASAP, but not when he is still experiencing pretty clear physical limitations.

scrapmaven , I really like Purl Soho's tutorials when I run into a problem. Learning to knit at 9 and taking it back up every couple decades means I've picked up a few bad habits, but always get through the project. 

jeremysgirl , it really sounds like your managers have gotten away without ever really having to manage. Troubled employees either recover and get back in the game or quit and your coworker is doing neither. Good for you for standing your ground, presenting the evidence and holding them accountable to do their jobs. 

austnscrapaddict , hope your power is back on already or that you have a timeline for when.

ntsf , I have a big grin reading about your new neighbor! It really is a lovely thing she did. 

I'm puttering around again today and trying to decide how much of a mess I want to make starting another clean out. I feel I just circle the house from room to room in never ending purge cycles. Doing the kid's bathroom last weekend makes me wonder what I'll find hiding in our bathroom cupboards. 

ETA oops, forgot dinner plans are to make baguette open face sandwiches layering pesto first and topping with tomato, onion, basil and burrata, then drizzling with a Balsamic glaze. Funny after the talk of burrata earlier this week, DD asked if we could have this. At first I thought it was too summery but realized our late afternoon weather is still 100% summer.