oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,167
Location: LA Suburbia
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on May 21, 2015 22:25:20 GMT
Sexual abusers are not usually isolated individuals within a family. The first thing I wondered was who abused him, or where did he get the idea. Family secrets are mostly only secret outside of the family, but inside the family everyone knows what's going on. They thought they could go on Oprah and act normal, but it sounds like someone on her staff picked up on the "secret" pretty quickly.
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Post by monicad on May 21, 2015 22:34:41 GMT
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Post by pierogi on May 21, 2015 22:36:42 GMT
I'm now wondering if this is why all the girls wanted to sleep together in one big room. Safety in numbers and all that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:26:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2015 22:39:21 GMT
Actually yes I was. Abuse is abuse though. I didn't say it wasn't. You said it wasn't the same. So yes you did.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:26:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2015 22:40:33 GMT
So repeated sexual abuse of multiple victims is now being called a "teenage mistake."
Okee-dokee.
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Post by rockymtnpea on May 21, 2015 22:51:20 GMT
I've always thought Josh was creepy but aside from that he appears to be a controlling jerk. When he and Anna were engaged I thought poor dumb girl, no education, no way to support herself and in no time she will have a number of children. Stuck or appear to be stuck. I often wondered if her parents tried to talk her out of getting married so young and without having any life experience but I beleive they follow the same believes as the Duggars so it was probably business as usual. Sad.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 21, 2015 22:58:42 GMT
So repeated sexual abuse of multiple victims is now being called a "teenage mistake." Okee-dokee. SMH - I remember when a 'teenage mistake' was throwing a party when your parents were away. I have 15 and 13-year-old boys. At their age the idea that a 14-year-old sexually touching a younger sibling is considered an 'oopsy' would horrify them. On a completely separate, and admittedly uncharitable, note - I'll be the first to say that Michelle should have spent less time worrying about transgender perverts in the girls' bathroom.
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Post by LiLi on May 21, 2015 23:05:31 GMT
Wow. LOL. Wow right back at you. Have no idea what you mean by this. It isn't the same. You have a completely flippant attitude about sexual abuse victims. I can guarantee you that any VICTIM of abuse has emotional and probably physical damage it DOESN'T MATTER how old they are. The fact that a few people stated they were abused in this thread and yet you still respond this way... well yeah... WOW
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Post by gavinsmom on May 21, 2015 23:10:09 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old....
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Post by eebud on May 21, 2015 23:12:55 GMT
I wouldn't be surprised if the Duggars waited over three years just to keep their son from being arrested and convicted. I remember hearing something about this years ago. I was trying to find something on the statute of limitations and I believe that the 3 years start when the abuse has been reported. It was reported in 2006 so they had until 2009 to prosecute. There is something else about the victims age and other things but I had to get back to work so I didn't get a chance to finish researching. From the quick glance though, it looked like there was still a possibility of charges based on the girls ages now.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:26:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2015 23:13:32 GMT
I am sickened by this. As if his actions weren't bad enough, the whole sweeping it under the rug thing is just repulsive.
I've never understood the Duggar hate. They live differently than I do, but I always thought they raised decent human beings, even if they didn't raise them how I raised my own kids. But now...how both parents sat back knowing that he did this over and over and how they handled it, not only failing Josh but failing all of their other children as well. Disgusting.
I still don't quite understand how this managed to fly under the radar and CPS at minimum and law enforcement either wasn't involved at all, or involved in the most minimal fashion.
TLC cancelled Honey Boo Boo over less than this. I never thought I'd be the one to say that the show needs to be removed from the air, but I'm there today.
The parents failed Josh and the girls. The church failed those girls. Authorities failed those girls.
And prayer was enough to cure Josh of his need to fondle girls?
Disgusting.
edited to add...with how "involved" the crew is in filming...and for how long they've "been with" the Duggars...how did the crew not know of this?
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Post by bc2ca on May 21, 2015 23:16:26 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... Please finish your thought here, because the direction it is leading me is that you think this is ok and I'm hoping I'm wrong.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 21, 2015 23:16:54 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... Again, my boys are 13 and 15 years old and they think (and I quote) that you are out of your fucking mind.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 21, 2015 23:18:18 GMT
I thought something like this came out about 5 years ago. No idea of who is who but I thought it was the oldest boy. I haven't read all the replies to see if this is old news, but I thought this was brought up a long time ago too.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,022
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on May 21, 2015 23:18:21 GMT
Sexual abusers are not usually isolated individuals within a family. The first thing I wondered was who abused him, or where did he get the idea. Family secrets are mostly only secret outside of the family, but inside the family everyone knows what's going on. They thought they could go on Oprah and act normal, but it sounds like someone on her staff picked up on the "secret" pretty quickly. That was my first thought. I suspect that he was a victim at one point.
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Post by marmargirl on May 21, 2015 23:18:56 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... What? "Naturally curious" does NOT rationalize or make his actions okay. 14 year-olds know better.
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Post by rst on May 21, 2015 23:20:20 GMT
Gavinsmom -- at 14 or 15, as the child who was considered mature enough to be in charge of the younger siblings when parents were away? No. I can't excuse that as a childish curiosity. In a 6 or 7 year old, sure. Not mid-teens.
And this was not one time. Multiple times, multiple victims reported. Most people agree that what's reported is almost always a very small percentage of what's happened.
It speaks to terrible judgement in the parents. It speaks to failure to properly deal with serious issues. It speaks to inappropriate and outside the law treatment from the local government.
And can I just say that I am very curious as to what the title of the book was that had the letter detailing all of this, which was then put away and forgotten, only to be loaned out and re-exposed? Rather a garbled element of the story linked, but a rather telling detail in the way the whole mess was mismanaged.
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Post by Tamhugh on May 21, 2015 23:23:01 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... He fondled their breasts and genitals according to what I read. And any 14 year old boy, barring some mental incapacity, who thinks it is okay and just curiousity to fondle his female siblings, or any other young girl, while they sleep has serious issues or very f'ed up parents who never taught him right from wrong.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,022
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on May 21, 2015 23:23:22 GMT
There is nothing "naturally curious " about a 14 year old fondling his sisters.
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Post by Tamhugh on May 21, 2015 23:27:51 GMT
I hit reply to soon.
I never really watched the show until the girls' weddings. We were discussing it at work recently and I brought up that the girls seemed very uncomfortable with their father. It just seemed like the younger girl cringed when the father was affectionate with her. A co-worker, who is a fan, was upset with me and said that I just didn't understand their beliefs. I couldn't explain it, but I just got a bad vibe from the male/female interactions in that family.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on May 21, 2015 23:34:01 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... There is nothing *natural* about fondling your 14 year old sisters breasts. It isn't about being curious about sexuality either. It is about domination, control and power. Since he had no boundaries with his sisters, I don't know how his wife can be certain he wouldn't abuse his daughters. He is a predator. After reading this thread, I googled the connection with the Oprah show. Someone was crying out for help.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:26:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2015 23:36:19 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... Wait what? So because he was curious it is okay he molested his sisters? Um no just no.
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Post by lumo on May 21, 2015 23:39:05 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... You really are not trying to say what he did was in any way okay, right? Trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here.
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stittsygirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,600
Location: In the leaves and rain.
Jun 25, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
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Post by stittsygirl on May 21, 2015 23:42:28 GMT
He was a child himself...naturally curious. Just sad for all involved. I don't think however that I makes him a threat to young daughters. He fondled breasts while the girls slept...wrong no doubt but at 14yrs old.... Again, my boys are 13 and 15 years old and they think (and I quote) that you are out of your fucking mind. This. My son is 15. He knew early on, as did his siblings, that NO ONE had a right to touch him on the private areas of his body except a doctor, with parental permission, and a parent if necessary. Likewise, they all know they are absolutely NOT allowed to touch others in the same manner until they and a partner reach the age of consent, AND they HAVE that consent. We've had that discussion and reinforced it as part of their sexual education since they were old enough to know what sex was. I'll never buy that a 14 year-old repeatedly molesting his sisters was just a "curious child", even one raised in the Duggar household.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 21, 2015 23:48:04 GMT
Why do I think the girls who were his victims were sent to The Duggar brand of counseling where they were told that ultimately the abuse they suffered was their fault? That is the kind of whacked out beliefs this family has. The fact that Jim Bob and Michelle allowed him back in their home around their daughters proves how out of touch with reality they are. They don't care about the safety of their daughters by letting their abuser back in.
I have always wondered if Jana has remained single and at home as a way to protect the other girls. She also frequently travels to DC to help out Anna.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:26:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2015 23:49:11 GMT
I hate to make speculation but Jim Bob was a state representative right around when this occurred. What kind of pull does a position like that have? I know they are involved in parts of law enforcement too. Bond servers or something.
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Post by epeanymous on May 21, 2015 23:51:47 GMT
Given the extreme emphasis these parents place on abstinence, as well as the strict directive that there would be no kissing, hugging, etc. prior to marriage, I think it is hard to argue that Josh didn't know that what he was doing was outside the pale.
It disgusts me so much that these people have engaged in all of the anti-gay, and specifically anti-trans activism they have -- don't let trans people use bathrooms! Pedophiles will molest your daughters! -- when they have known they have been sitting on someone who actually acted as a pedophile in their own home.
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Post by tuva42 on May 21, 2015 23:52:08 GMT
Wow, I can't believe anyone would think that fondling a younger sibling is natural curiosity on the part of a 14 year old. It seems that these were his sisters. And did I read that there were FIVE that he molested? The oldest girl would have been what? Twelve? Then some younger girls, maybe 10, 8, 6, even 4 years old? That's what really sickens me. How young were these girls? And why the hell wasn't CPS called?
I have never liked the Duggar parents. Something is just off. Now we know what it is.
Okay, I just went back and looked it up. Josh only had 5 sisters in 2003. The oldest was 13, the youngest was 4.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 21, 2015 23:55:12 GMT
I hit reply to soon. I never really watched the show until the girls' weddings. We were discussing it at work recently and I brought up that the girls seemed very uncomfortable with their father. It just seemed like the younger girl cringed when the father was affectionate with her. A co-worker, who is a fan, was upset with me and said that I just didn't understand their beliefs. I couldn't explain it, but I just got a bad vibe from the male/female interactions in that family. I used to watch the show but we cut our cable. However, I caught one of the wedding episodes while at a hotel and I was weirded out that the dad had to be up on stage to tell the new groom that he could kiss his daughter. DH is usually very low key but he hasn't gotten a good vibe from the dad from when I was first watching the show.
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 21, 2015 23:58:11 GMT
@gajenny , I think one of the main reasons for the Duggar hate is because their family culture places little value on their female children's right to be educated or independent. It leaves them very vulnerable to shitty asshole older brothers.
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