|
Post by 950nancy on Jun 6, 2015 3:55:16 GMT
I have known many young girls and a few young boys molested by relatives or mother's boyfriends. As a teacher you look for signs, and oftentimes it is quite obvious. And there are times when it is shocking. In my experiences with rape and molestation (28 years of teaching) The males that do it are often religious (not trying to rate how religious) and feel like they have power over the children to keep them quiet. I don't know of a time when it was a stranger. I do know that many of the young ladies have married and have children of their own. They seem very determined to live and have the life they deserve.
I don't watch the show, but I feel like if you want forgiveness you should be the first one out there giving forgiveness to others. I think from what I have seen on different news feeds that this family is pretty intolerant or unforgiving of others who are different from them. I was raised a Christian and attended church three times a week, and my Protestant church taught us to be forgiving, loving of all who might be the same or different than us, and to educate ourselves in other religions. By the time I was in high school, my youth pastor had taken us to at least a dozen other churches or places of worship to see that we all have a lot more in common. I love him for that.
|
|
|
Post by lumo on Jun 6, 2015 4:17:50 GMT
I will say that as a young child I was molested by a relative. I am not embarrassed by that fact. I am not ashamed of that fact. The shame is all his. If I were held up and robbed, I would not be ashamed. I think until we speak as freely about our sexual abuse as we would any other crime perpetrated against us, victims will continue to feel the shame and embarrassment of the crime. I had an old man slip his hand up under my skirt and try to feel me on a train in a foreign country when I was 11 and wearing a pad with my first period. This is the first time I've ever told anyone. I had a similar experience on the train in London. I was a bit older, the car was very crowded, and he touched me over my clothes. I had the presence of mind to scream at him to get off of me, and he ran away at the next stop. I'm sorry for what you went through. ((Hugs))
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 15:18:50 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 11:34:15 GMT
Luckily only a select few are siding with the Duggars. Most seem to agree this was horrific and they were 10000% wrong. People can "side" with some of the family without siding with the whole family. I would never want my whole family lumped into one group that people side with or not. Good golly......with the talk on here about messed up families, I can not be the only one. Some of us have people like Josh in our families as well as people much, much worse. I meant the situation not each and every one of them. I was responding to a specific quote about a specific issue.
|
|
theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
|
Post by theshyone on Jun 6, 2015 12:20:54 GMT
I'm so very torn at this. When it first came out I thought great the current victims will be protected and get help and future victims will be spared.
But as more and more info is coming out I really think these current victims will just be forced into a deeper silence. There will be no way for them to speak out. At all.
This stems from my absolute belief in the failure that they could "pray" out the pedophile in josh. If praying out the pedophiles worked those stats would not hold up. But unfortunately they do. In no way do I believe he is "all better".
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on Jun 6, 2015 12:27:30 GMT
Luckily only a select few are siding with the Duggars. Most seem to agree this was horrific and they were 10000% wrong. People can "side" with some of the family without siding with the whole family. I would never want my whole family lumped into one group that people side with or not. Good golly......with the talk on here about messed up families, I can not be the only one. Some of us have people like Josh in our families as well as people much, much worse. Why would they still be a part of the family if they were like Josh or did much much worse? Is that not reason to disown and disavow them? I don't think I could stay in a family group that allowed people like that to be a part of the family.
|
|
|
Post by stacy71 on Jun 6, 2015 13:26:51 GMT
See, I think it DID need to be put out there. Josh was working for a very big anti-LGBT organization out there and was voraciously campaigning against gay marriage, and his mother was campaigning against LGBT interests as well. They were publicly calling these people perverts and deviants and yet they had a legitimate deviant pervert right in their own family. They NEEDED to be exposed for their utter hypocrisy. The fact that the girls have gotten caught in the fallout is entirely the responsibility of Josh, Michelle and Jimbob. I really hate this justification or whatever. It is apples to oranges. As messed up as their beliefs feelings on transgendered are, they are allowed those feelings. I don't think it makes them a hypocrit. If josh was in the bathroom with girls maybe you could say that. This is whole thing has thrown me for a loop. My feelings about josh eb and flow from thinking he is a molester to thinking he is a victim of a very fucked up way of life. What does not change is my disgust of those parents. Raising these kids that way. The whole side hug makes me cringe, was that a safeguard? Not allowing kids (adult children) to date alone, be physical with etc so weird and much of the reason Josh did this I believe. He had no outlet, could not masterbate, embrace his sexuality etc the parents choices damage those kids! I was molested and physically abused by a babysitter (female) for 4 years starting at 7 years old. Never told, got help etc.. I would like to think I processed and dealt with it and in someways I did. I hate myself and feel unworthy and ugly most of the time. That may or may not be a result of my molestation. I am happily married never had flashbacks or anything, if anything I am over sexed and have a fucked up view of sex is love. Is this because I was molested I don't know. I have kids and have a good life, my kids have never had a non family babysitter and they won't. I casually ask my kids if their friends siblings touch them or other things like that. My heart would break if it happens to my kids because I do feel that part of my spirit was ruined. Her name was Susan, she was my childhood best friends older sister, she was my neighbor, she was mean, I lookher up on facebook occasionally and she makes me sick. She has a pretty sad life, but has kids/grandkids and talks about God. I know I was not the only one, she talked about others, I know this was probably done to her, I know it wasn't my fault, but I still blame myself for not telling and allowing her to feel I was vulnerable and available. She saw something in me that she knew I wouldn't tell, that is hard. I was 7, but she still knew she could get away with it.
|
|
|
Post by Skypea on Jun 6, 2015 15:09:48 GMT
People can "side" with some of the family without siding with the whole family. I would never want my whole family lumped into one group that people side with or not. Good golly......with the talk on here about messed up families, I can not be the only one. Some of us have people like Josh in our families as well as people much, much worse. Why would they still be a part of the family if they were like Josh or did much much worse? Is that not reason to disown and disavow them? I don't think I could stay in a family group that allowed people like that to be a part of the family. no. don't have kids.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 15:18:50 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 18:07:02 GMT
For those mentioning the connection to religious people, I don't think being religious has anything to do with it anymore than if all the people you are aware of committing this crime were all brunette would mean it had a connection to brunettes, or if the people you knew of were all very tall would mean it had a connection to tall people.
Religion has nothing to do with it. This crime covers all walks of life.
|
|
|
Post by leftturnonly on Jun 6, 2015 19:23:13 GMT
From what I understand, this family made the decision to appear in the show AFTER Josh sexually assaulted the girls. To me it seems to be another smack in the face for the girls to go on television after being sexually abused by their brother, to pretend they are a happy family living the perfect life. Would it not be hard for the girls to realize that their parents are putting them on television and showing the tv-audience how 'perfect' their lives are? Then there is the smack in the face that comes this week, with all of this being released to the public. So yeah... honestly, the girls are the ones suffering from this coming out now. But I truly hope this will also start a process for the girls where their story comes out, someone believes them, someone does not shame them and guilt them for this happening. From what I have read so far, it has been all about Josh. I hope now, the girls will have someone in THEIR corner actually telling them they did nothing wrong and Josh is a molester, and that's all on him. These girls need to start healing. And it must be extremely hard trying to heal when your molester is paraded on television like the perfect son and father, and you just have to sit and smile and not say a word about what he really is. Is it beneficial that these reports are coming out now? It's probably really hard for the girls RIGHT NOW. But at least there is a chance of being heard, being believed and ending the adulation of the molester, and those who defended him, on a world-wide syndicated tv-show. That is assuming that these girls are not already fully healed. What if they had been?
|
|