anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 27, 2014 21:26:44 GMT
Mine came with me once because he had a week's holiday and fancied an outing, but apart from that, no.
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Post by brina on Jul 27, 2014 21:28:22 GMT
My dh came to some, but certainly not all. Luckily he drove me to my last one, since they sent me straight to the hospital.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
Posts: 4,176
Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
Site Supporter
Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Jul 27, 2014 21:29:00 GMT
Maybe not expected, but some women just need a little extra moral support during their pregnancy. It is his baby too so it's nice to have him involved with baby's progress.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,842
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Jul 27, 2014 21:29:00 GMT
My son is 13, almost 14. My ex-h didn't go to the initial appt to get tested, but he did go to every other appt after that.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 27, 2014 21:29:14 GMT
DH came with me to many of them, but not all. The ones he didn't go to, I went alone.
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Post by sugarmama on Jul 27, 2014 21:30:48 GMT
Mine only went to the ones where I had a sonogram, except for the third baby. He missed that due to work, but I took my grandmother and I think it meant much more to her than it would have to my husband!
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 27, 2014 21:31:20 GMT
Mine went to the first and then the 20 week ultrasound. My OB only takes appointments until 3:45. My school gets out at 3:15, so I just barely made it. DH's school doesn't get out until 4, so no way he could make each appointment without taking off. We needed him to save his time off to stay home with sick kids once they were born.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:38:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 21:31:46 GMT
My DH went to every midwife appointment with me, for each of our four girls. Because he wanted to -- and because he was able to. That's dating back over 13 years ago now, so I don't think it's a new thing. I saw lots of husbands/partners in the waiting room back then and have continued to up until today.
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Post by chirpingcricket on Jul 27, 2014 21:32:59 GMT
When I was pregnant (way back in the day 27 and 22 years ago), my husband worked swing shift and often accompanied me to the doctor's office. I don't know if he would have gone if he hadn't been able to attend without burning a vacation or sick day to do so.
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Post by Native New Yorker on Jul 27, 2014 21:33:07 GMT
I think it's totally sweet. My ex went with me once.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Jul 27, 2014 21:34:39 GMT
My dh only came when we were having an ultrasound, or when there was a concern (which there was when I was pregnant with our oldest and I had a consultation with a specialist).
Otherwise, I scheduled appointments when it was convenient for my own schedule.
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Post by heather on Jul 27, 2014 21:35:53 GMT
Mine went, and the oldest baby is now 13. That being said, when the appointments became more frequent and only consisted of a pee and heart rate check, I told him not to come. I'd be there for an hour and the Dr would see me for maybe 3 minutes. So it seemed silly to drag him out of work for that. I'd rather he saved time up for after the baby was born.
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Post by ahiller on Jul 27, 2014 21:36:21 GMT
Mine came to most of mine. I tend to get nervous (and have panic attacks) at the doctor so I usually like to have someone with me.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jul 27, 2014 21:37:35 GMT
Mine came with me and my daughter is 12. I think he missed one when he was out of town. He wanted to be there and he is much better about remembering information in a doctor's office than I am. He asks way more questions that I would think to ask as well. Sometimes that got annoying, but I liked having him there.
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newlywoods03
Pearl Clutcher
Blessed Beyond Measure
Posts: 2,828
Jun 26, 2014 3:09:09 GMT
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Post by newlywoods03 on Jul 27, 2014 21:38:15 GMT
My husband made it to all but one of my OB appts. I wanted him there and he wanted to be there. He works in the afternoon so all of the appts were scheduled for before he went to work.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 27, 2014 21:38:16 GMT
It's been going on for awhile. I would say women in their 20s and 30s pretty much expect their DH, or SO to come to every appt. My dh came to some, but could not due to work, and my girls are 18 and 21. The guys I work with, that are having kids, in their 20s and 30s, go to every apt, AND take paternity leave.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:38:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 21:41:08 GMT
If he wants to go and she wants him there, why not? Is it her first baby? If her hubby isn't there it might make her more relaxed by having her Mom there as company type of thing. Mine didn't come to any of my routine appointments, I was quite happy to go on my own. It wasn't that he didn't want to it wasn't that easy for him to get the time off work. He did come with me for the sonogram though...that's a little special for both I think.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 27, 2014 21:42:12 GMT
Mine came when he could, but that was reasonably rarely. It was hard enough getting my schedule to match the doctors schedule than to try to fit his schedule in too. He tried really hard to go to things like ultra sounds, or to hear the heartbeats, but he tried to skip the ones with exams LOL.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 27, 2014 21:43:06 GMT
Definitely not a new thing.
It's super common.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,020
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 27, 2014 21:43:38 GMT
My dh came to some appointments, and our kids are 15, and 12. He went to the first one where we knew we would hear the heart beat, he went to the ultrasounds, and just happened to be at the last appointments where we were told to head to the hospital. So that was about 3 appointments per pregnancy. I wouldn't have wanted him at every one.
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Post by underwatermama on Jul 27, 2014 21:44:07 GMT
I think the only ones he went to with my first were the u/s appts (both dr. and hospital). With the second, he came to watch our toddler during the appts. (It was easier than getting a sitter since he had no problem taking the time off).
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Jul 27, 2014 21:49:25 GMT
Mine came to every single appointment, for both kids and all infertility appointments - and - it meant the World to me
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Post by lorieann13 on Jul 27, 2014 21:49:43 GMT
My husband went to about 3 of my appointments with DD (1st born) and most for DS because he was high risk. He went to the high risk ob appointments with me to watch dd while I had stress tests and high level u/s but they were in room while I was with the doctor.
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Post by mandasue on Jul 27, 2014 21:50:03 GMT
My DH missed the 1st appt but was at all of my others (every OB and every maternal fetus) but I was high risk and pregnant with twins. After 28 weeks I couldn't drive myself anyway.
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julia
Junior Member
Posts: 58
Jun 26, 2014 0:39:50 GMT
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Post by julia on Jul 27, 2014 21:55:51 GMT
My husband came to a few I think. The first one with my first child, the ultrasounds, but typically he was working and it didn't make sense for him to take off for a check up if there were no concerns. Although if I had wanted him to be there I'm sure he would have made a point to make it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:38:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 21:56:10 GMT
For my first 2 dh only came to the ultrasound. For my last he came to almost all of them, but I had lost 2 pregnancies between my 2nd and 3rd and didn't want to be alone again if I got bad news. The one time he didn't come with me for that pregnancy, I was 8 1/2 months and they couldn't find her heartbeat. I was panicked and they were going to send me in to get an us, but they tried one more time and was finally able to find it. Worst 20 minutes ever.
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Post by shanniebananie on Jul 27, 2014 21:58:51 GMT
My DH went to almost all of apps with both kids. He totally wanted and had a job with a lot of flexibility. I loved having him there.
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 27, 2014 22:04:45 GMT
With our first, my husband went the first time we were supposed to hear the heartbeat and when I had an ultrasound. In my second pregnancy I was having complications and he went with me to that appointment; only because we knew there was something wrong. I ended up having a miscarriage. The third pregnancy when I was pregnant with my son, he went with me only to hear the heartbeat and the ultrasounds. As a matter of fact, at my last appointment they had wanted to do an ultrasound but we had JUST had one a few weeks before so he didn't go with me. Of course that was when they hooked me up to a stress test thing (maybe non-stress test, IDK) and then told me I had to go straight to the hospital to be induced. But that's another story! I know that some people want their spouse/significant other there all the time but I just didn't need (or want) that. I am also one of those that didn't want anyone in the delivery room with me besides my husband. I just feel like pregnancy and having a baby isn't a show to be shared with everyone FOR ME. No judgement for those want to share or want/need to have extra support. It just isn't something I needed. As a matter of fact, having my husband follow me around to appointments or having extra people in the delivery room would make me anxious and stressed.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:38:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:05:05 GMT
They are not expected to go, but it certainly isn't a new thing by any means.
My dd is 13 and my dh went when he could. He was just excited and interested in what all was going on.
I also know at 37 I was scared, so if your niece is young, maybe she is nervous and doesnt want to miss anything important, hence the reason she likes to have someone with her.
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Post by melrose on Jul 27, 2014 22:09:32 GMT
Am I out of the loop, are husbands expected to go to all OB appts? I think some pregnant wives expect their husbands to go and some don't.....
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