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Post by tania7424 on Jul 28, 2014 1:35:00 GMT
First baby he was at all of the, but I was high risk. Second, the important ones.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Jul 28, 2014 1:42:25 GMT
He demanded to be involved from the beginning. He came to most as work allowed. I'd have him not come on the pap or strep B day. Heck, I didn't even want to be there.
Not sure why there is judgement about a family doing what they want/ need.
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Post by scrapApea on Jul 28, 2014 1:47:03 GMT
Had DS 14 years ago and DH never went and I wouldn't have wanted him there either. My DR was a woman and that was my time to have those "female" chats. I sure didn't need him there for those! And I sure wouldn't discourage him from working OT to go. (especially with a baby on the way)
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 28, 2014 1:47:25 GMT
My husband went to several with me. For each kid. And he was for sure there for the 20 week scan to find out what we were having. He didnt go to all of them though, and really most would have been unnecessary, as it was just weight, blood pressure, and heartbeat. But for the more serious and scary appointments, he was there.
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Post by salem on Jul 28, 2014 2:04:06 GMT
My DH came to the U/S appointments for both pregnancies. I don't think he went to any of the others. He would have if I asked, but it was more of a logistics thing. I work much closer to the Dr's office and I was usually scheduled mid-day. It would've been more of a hassle than anything. I would just call him and pass along any updates on the way back to work.
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Post by threegirls on Jul 28, 2014 2:05:33 GMT
Three kids - 12,7,5 DH went to three ultrasounds but no regular appointments. I felt I didn't need him there and I didn't want him to have to take off work. I remember I had to take a two hour class on gestational diabetes and I was the only person out of six that didn't have a husband/partner/friend with them. It really never crossed my mind to take my husband and I felt a little odd being the only one by myself.
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Post by roxiemarie0524 on Jul 28, 2014 2:55:18 GMT
Mine came to all except one appointment. Ds is thirteen, so I don't think it is a new thing either.
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ratqueen
Shy Member
Posts: 32
Jul 2, 2014 23:54:21 GMT
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Post by ratqueen on Jul 28, 2014 3:18:12 GMT
Mine came to the anatomy scan for both pregnancies but nothing else. Honestly I'd rather he save the PTO for when the babies come. He's of more use there than sitting in a waiting room with me.
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Post by angieh1996 on Jul 28, 2014 3:20:52 GMT
My kids are 14 & 16. My dh came to the first appts where they confirmed pregnancy and listened to the heartbeat. Then he came to a few at the end of the pregnancy incase we were sent to the hospital.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 28, 2014 3:22:36 GMT
My youngest is 9. Dh went whenever he could.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,983
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Jul 28, 2014 3:32:34 GMT
My husband came came to a lot of them, but I was high risk, so there was no way he could make it to all of them (I went once or twice a week for most of my twin pregnancy).
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 28, 2014 3:33:26 GMT
The only appointments DSO came to were the first one and the one where we have the ultrasound. My ex didn't even bother coming to half of the pre-natal classes when I was pregnant with our DD.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 28, 2014 3:35:46 GMT
My oldest is 17. DH went with me to my fertility dr appts and it carried over into our high risk pregnancy, even when I was going 2-3 times a week. There was always a lot covered during an appt and it helped to have a second ear in the room. He missed one appt--the one where I found out that I was pregnant with DS. That was a sucky one to miss! We are a military family, so I didn't have any family in he area with any of my pregnancies.
With DD, he missed some of those appts. He was a professor and it was tough to miss class and find a sub, especially when I again had 2-3 appts a week. But we usually worked around his class schedule.
I very much believe that you do what works for your family. I'm a pretty independent person, but I feel so vulnerable when I'm pregnant. Maybe it's all the babies that I've lost, but I need extra support for those 7-8 months that I was pregnant.
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Post by aggiebonfire00 on Jul 28, 2014 5:03:12 GMT
Mine came to most of mine and then we'd go to lunch afterwards. Every pregnancy I had some sort of complication, so I appreciated him being there. Sometimes the doctor would be telling us how we were going to handle xyz issue, and I would start zoning out because I mentally couldn't handle hearing what he was saying.
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Post by juliet on Jul 28, 2014 5:31:06 GMT
Mine came to all appointments, both pregnancies. And since I was high risk, that also meant it was a bi-weekly deal in the second trimester and a weekly appointment in the third trimester.
I'm so glad we always went together.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,790
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 28, 2014 9:23:14 GMT
Ds will be 19 this week. Dh came to all of my appointments with me. But his schedule at the time was such that he could without having to take time off from work. I scheduled most for the am, and like a pp, we occasionally went to lunch afterwards, then I had to return to work.
I am also one who did not want anyone other than dh to attend delivery. We had no family here at the time, so it was a moot point, but even if my mom/sisters were here, I don't think I would have wanted them in for delivery. But I am all for whatever makes a pregnant Mom happy!
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Post by fruitysuet on Jul 28, 2014 9:41:27 GMT
My kids are 19, 15 and 13 and my memories are really hazy. I think that he came with me to at least the first scan of the eldest and I'm sure he came to the hospital with me several times, but how many and which child with I'm not sure. Not a big deal to me at all. He has always been self employed so no work is no money and babies cost money - I have always been mindful of that.
I can understand that a total lack of involvement would be upsetting, but in the OP situation the mum to be needs to start maturing fast and realise life isn't all about her.
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Post by epeanymous on Jul 28, 2014 11:10:39 GMT
Mine came to most of my appointments. It's nice to have the company, and it felt supportive to me.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jul 28, 2014 11:36:05 GMT
My dh came to every one. It's the least he could do, honestly. And given the ages of my kids (oldest is 26) and the fact that the waiting room contained many dads-to-be, it's hardly a new thing.
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Post by StacyinUT on Jul 28, 2014 12:36:52 GMT
Mine came with me to the first one and then every ultrasound appt (I had quite a few to monitor things). He did not go to the routine visits with me. That was almost 15 years ago...so not new.
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Post by sincity2003 on Jul 28, 2014 12:45:05 GMT
My DH went to all but my first appointment, and one somewhere in the middle, and our DS will be 10 this year. I had an ultrasound at every appointment due to some issues early on and he enjoyed seeing him. He was off on Wednesdays and I just made sure my appointments were on Wednesdays, but if he had worked a traditional Monday through Friday 9-5, he would have missed them. I liked having him there, but never expected him to be there, unless it was a big appointment.
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Post by Ellie on Jul 28, 2014 12:49:09 GMT
I have an 11 year old and a 2.5 year old. DH came to most of my ultrasound appointments--and there were many during my first pregnancy as I conceived on Depo Provera. He didn't come to the regular check-ups. I'm sure he would have if I asked and if it worked with his schedule.
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Post by Fidget on Jul 28, 2014 12:52:28 GMT
My kids are 29 & 30 - My DH did not come to any appointments with me. He also did not come to the ultrasound for DS [HASH]2, (I did not have an ultrasound with D [HASH]1)- I don't recall any of my friends having their DH go to the appts with them either.
I think it's a "newer" trend.
My DS went with DDIL to her ultrasound appointment but other than that I don't think he went to regular appts.
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Post by alibama on Jul 28, 2014 13:20:36 GMT
My husband went to the ultrasound ones and that was it. Current day my SIL has only gone to the sonograms ones too.
There was a couple of other appointments to check some concerns out and I went with my daughter to those.
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Post by Laurie on Jul 28, 2014 13:49:01 GMT
With my first (11 years ago) he went to about half. With our second (3 years ago)he went to all. I think mainly because this pregnancy was high risk he didn't want me to be alone if we were to receive (potentially) devastating news.
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Post by Heidi on Jul 28, 2014 13:52:56 GMT
I'm due in 5 weeks with our first and my husband has been to every appointment. Not because I expected him to but because he wanted to. I feel blessed that he has been there with me. For what it's worth, there are a lot of husbands and dads in the waiting room with their wives every time we go. It's more common than not at least at my doctor's office.
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
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Member is Online
Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
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Post by scrapnnana on Jul 28, 2014 13:53:12 GMT
My DH came only to a few, special appointments, but very few.
i think it is nice to have your DH there, but not necessary for most appointments.
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Post by Kelpea on Jul 28, 2014 14:37:07 GMT
With our first, he went to most, if not all, appointments. We both worked in the city and we were within walking distance of the OB/GYN. Easy peasy.
With the second one, living in the burbs? I think he went with me to the amnio and one near the end, around 8 months. He worked an hour away, so it wouldn't have been feasible.
He actually liked going, too.
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Post by pmk on Jul 28, 2014 14:51:27 GMT
It is very common at our local hospital for both to attend prenatal appointments and has been for a number of years. Ditto here. Dh went with me to most of the major appointments but not the random blood pressure checks and things like that.
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Post by rumplesnat on Jul 28, 2014 15:37:02 GMT
He comes to all of my prenatal appointments...it's OUR baby, so I don't know why he wouldn't be included. If something we're to be wrong, I couldn't imagine him not being with me and he wouldn't have it any other way.
Pap smear appointments? Umm....no thanks! If he were to come for one of those, assuming we were going somewhere together afterwards, he would gladly hang out in the waiting room!
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