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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 28, 2014 15:49:04 GMT
We had to do IVF, my ex came with me for most of those appointments. When we go pregnant he did not come with me to my midwife appointments until something went wrong. Then I couldn't drive or walk to the DR so he came home and drove me.
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Post by Barbie on Jul 28, 2014 16:02:15 GMT
My daughter is 26, and her father (my ex-husband) didn't come to a single appointment--including the ultrasound. He did manage to make it to the delivery, but then abandoned us at the hospital to go to a party with his college buddies. I was all alone as my family was out of the country. I think it's great that a lot of expectant fathers want to be involved and go to appointments. But I think expecting them to go to every appointment -- especially if it requires missing work -- is ridiculous.
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Post by gizzy on Jul 28, 2014 16:13:19 GMT
DH went to all of mine, for each one. Our oldest would be 25 now.
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Post by miominmio on Jul 28, 2014 16:14:59 GMT
DH only came to the ultrasound (kids are 8 and 15). He couldn't take a day off for every appointment (he has a very long commute), but he did take 4 weeks of paternity leave.
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Post by seikashaven on Jul 28, 2014 16:33:49 GMT
My DH came to those he could. He made it to all ultrasounds and whenever there was a concern.
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Post by apeacalledliz on Jul 28, 2014 17:19:49 GMT
I feel it would have been nice for my DH to attend special ultrasounds, but every appointment was not necessary. I guess things were different 18 and 21 years ago when I had my children. I never took a single person, including him, to ANY of my appointments. I would go in, get it done, and would let him know when he got home from work how it went and when I found out the sex etc... Things were not different, it's just that different people do things differently. My kids are 20,18 and 16 and my DH came with me to most appointments, if there was one he couldn't' make it wasn't a big deal but he wanted to be there as much as I liked having him there. It was my body but OUR baby, he deserved to hear what was going on and to have time to ask his questions as much as I did.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 12:27:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 17:23:06 GMT
I was extremely high risk pg. I saw the maternal fetal specialist every single week and Dh came with me every time. Twice it was a good thing to because I was sent straight to the hospital from the doctors office.
I would never judge a couple who chooses to do this together.
My sons are 18 and 11.
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Post by agengr2004 on Jul 28, 2014 17:24:57 GMT
DH came to every appointment. We never really talked about it, he just did.
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 28, 2014 17:49:09 GMT
DH only came to my first appt and the ultrasound appointments. We had a scare and they required a more extensive scan one time and he did attend that one also. But for the normal check ups - no he did not come.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:27:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 17:55:56 GMT
DH came to the ones he could. If he had a work conflict and couldn't make it - no problem.
He wasn't the one who was pregnant, but it was our first/only and he had questions about things too. Going with me to appointments gave him an opportunity to ask questions and hear things straight from the doctor. (I am the first to admit that I had terrible pregnancy brain and forgot things ALL THE TIME - I was terrible at relaying information to him.)
I wouldn't have been hurt if he hadn't attended, but I appreciated that he wanted to and suggested it on his own accord.
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Post by lily on Jul 28, 2014 17:56:29 GMT
My Dh went with me when I was pregnant but not to all of the appts. Just to hear the heartbeat (back before ultrasounds).
Now he never goes with me. Does not even occur to me to ask him to go. (I am 52)
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,259
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Jul 28, 2014 18:11:56 GMT
With the first DD he came to the heartbeat and ultrasound ones. Come to think of it he went to the ones when I was overdue because they were running all kinds of tests.
When the 2nd DD came around, he went to more of those because it was SO uncomfortable for me to drive. It was a long drive, about 3hrs roundtrip.
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Post by melanell on Jul 28, 2014 19:30:11 GMT
I was extremely high risk pg. I saw the maternal fetal specialist every single week and Dh came with me every time. Twice it was a good thing to because I was sent straight to the hospital from the doctors office. I would never judge a couple who chooses to do this together. My sons are 18 and 11. This is how it was for me the first time around. I saw local regular ob-gyns, but we drove 1.5 hrs. each way to the maternal fetal specialists and I am so glad he was able to take me to all of those. It was good to have him there for support as I worried on the way down and good to have him to bounce thoughts off of as we went back home. And like you said, twice the office visits ended in being admitted, so I was especially glad he was there.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 12:27:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 19:34:47 GMT
My DH wanted to go to the appointments with me. He loved being part of the whole thing. He might have missed one or two with each child.
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Post by LovMelrose on Jul 28, 2014 19:36:43 GMT
My DH came to some but not all the appointments. Unfortunately, I was alone when I was told I had to go straight to the hospital and probably would not be coming home without a baby! I had pre-eclamsia at 36 weeks. Sure wish he were with me that time! I think its great if they want to be there but believe its every couples decision.
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Post by greenlegume on Jul 28, 2014 19:42:04 GMT
I was listening to my niece complain yesterday that her husband was not going with her to her next OB appt. because he had been asked to take an extra shift at work. I know that he went with her for the first two but had the chance to make some overtime for this next one and decided to work. My husband never went with me to an OB appt. Never expected him too. Is this a new thing? I can see maybe if it were close to delivery time or the day a special sonogram was done but seems to me that this was a routine appt. P.S. She did say that since her husband couldn't go her mother was going with her so she wouldn't be alone. Am I out of the loop, are husbands expected to go to all OB appts? No, it's not a new thing. Some couples choose to do things differently than others. Not sure why you feel the need to be so judgy and negative about the choices of others. Especially when they don't impact you in any way.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Jul 28, 2014 19:49:08 GMT
My dh came to several of my appointments, but with my second he just couldn't do it. I had a weekly Non-stress test, a weekly appt. with the dietitian, and twice weekly appts. with my OB. There was no way he could make 4 days a week. (All on different days!) My kids are 12 and 10, so like others I don't think it is all that new.
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Post by PinkPrincess77 on Jul 28, 2014 20:14:35 GMT
My husband went to all of mine
ETA: I realized my comment sounded kind of snooty and that was not my intention LOL. DH did go to all of my appointments, but my youngest is his own biological child and he wanted to be heavily involved from the beginning, and he was and still is. Our son will be 9 in November.
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Post by smokeynspike on Jul 29, 2014 3:58:08 GMT
Mine came to the special one (ultrasound) and I think that was it. I always had to wait FOREVER and didn't want my husband to waste PTO or the goodwill of his employer.
Melissa
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Post by shevy on Jul 29, 2014 4:10:46 GMT
I have to admit, why are we (general we) so critical of others choices, when they don't have an effect on us at all? If it works for them, good for them.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 29, 2014 4:27:15 GMT
I have to admit, why are we (general we) so critical of others choices, when they don't have an effect on us at all? If it works for them, good for them. It could be the additional comments added. For some people that did have their dh there and add 'it's his baby too' or 'he wanted to be involved' they are implying that if your dh wasn't there he was lacking and didn't want to be involved. For some people that didn't have their dh with them and add additional comments it sounds like they are implying you should man up and do things on your own. It's much like the breast vs bottle wars - the added little zinger to make your choice sound like the right choice.
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Post by cupcakepeddler on Jul 29, 2014 4:42:12 GMT
DH came along for the first scans and that was it, he worked in a position where he did the jobs of three people and there just wasn't the time for him to take off, even when our first was born he didn't actually get anytime off as he was always getting phone calls and being called into work. I never expected him to come along to all my appointments but we are not do everything together type people and some people are, personally I don't get relationships like that but others will think the same of mine, everyone is different and what works for them might not for us.
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