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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 27, 2014 23:40:00 GMT
This would be a compromise situation for me and dh. I work full time but have spent a few Sundays cooking meals for camping trips. I would make and freeze a few meals for both of us once or twice a month. I'd make a batch of spaghetti sauce, freeze in quart ziplocs. He can reheat and he can learn to boil the pasta. Make and freeze mini meatloaves and he can make a baked potato in the microwave.
I have a sister that couldn't cook when she was younger, but she was able to learn. When dh was in Chicago and I was in Washington he ate a lot of ramin, soups and sandwiches. He did not eat out every meal, he's way too cheap for that!
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Post by hollymolly on Jul 27, 2014 23:45:10 GMT
It's him, not you. The part that bothers me is that HE said he "doesn't want to" do any cooking at all, not even with your help in providing recipes and basic instructions, yet he wants YOU to do extra cooking, even though it is incredibly inconvenient for you.
I live with my adult son who rarely has dinner here, so I basically just cook for my self, like you will be doing with your husband gone during the week. I honestly cook very rarely for just me. I eat a sandwich, or soup, or a bowl of cereal, or maybe just cheese and crackers. I also travel most weeks for work, so I understand what he will experience eating away from home during the week. I can hit a grocery store on Monday afternoon, and have plenty of options for dinner for the week, none of which require more than a fridge or a microwave. Lunch meat, bread, salad kits, even fresh veggies in ziploc steamer bags. It literally takes less time and effort than getting in my car and going to a restaurant.
I think your offer was more than reasonable. You could even go so far as to do his grocery shopping during the week and buy the no/minimal cook meals for him and pack them in his cooler every weekend.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:26:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 23:45:21 GMT
Trader Joe's has a lot of single or double portion frozen meals that are pretty good.
I also don't think you're being a bitch at all. Tell him you'd be happy to help him make his dinners. He can plan and shop and then help you assemble the meals (for both of you.) Then you won't have to cook as much while he's gone.
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Post by *KatyCupcake* on Jul 27, 2014 23:46:39 GMT
Besides, if he's only coming home for weekends, why on earth would you spend one of those days in the kitchen cooking multiple meals for him to take? Defeats the purpose of coming home if you don't get to spend time together.
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Jul 27, 2014 23:48:23 GMT
Eat take out the first week honey and I'll save you your meals and freeze them. I do not see the big deal about saving 4-5 meal portions each week if you are cooking anyway. 4-5 meals asked for on sunday afternoon might get a bit of stink eye from me but going forward each week no biggie. The biggest issue would be keeping my teen son from eating the set aside portions. LOL That is precisely what I would do, I want my husband to eat healthy while he's away. I also wouldn't have a problem spending the weekend making his meals for him.
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Post by whipea on Jul 27, 2014 23:54:39 GMT
In my world, it would be an unreasonable request since I never cook. Allegedly he is an adult, he can feed himself.
Send him off with your support and affection along with the two magic words; cereal and milk.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 27, 2014 23:54:56 GMT
I agree with Volt. Just make whatever you would usually make, but just a bit more of it, package up single servings in gladware, freeze it, and send it with him.
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Post by SabrinaM on Jul 27, 2014 23:56:38 GMT
I'm surprised so many of you would send food. If I cook for only myself during the week, it's quick and easy. Not a sit down dinner. Maybe if OP had kids, but again, this man decided to go away for one year! And I'm sorry. He's in college and he cannot follow a recipe? And finally, OP offered to help him make some easy meals. Just because he doesn't want to learn, doesn't mean that's ok!!! I am just floored at all you accepting a GROWN PERSON not wanting to do something so easy. What happens when/if they have kids? He doesn't do diapers? He decides he only will do the fun stuff? I would be willing to meet someone halfway, if they met ME halfway. But this guy is not even willing to do one thing to help himself. That doesn't strike me in the slightest bit as reasonable. I'm on your side, OP. Ahh.. I missed where they don't have kids. Yea, he needs to figure out how to feed himself.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 28, 2014 0:08:28 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him. This soundalike a reasonable compromise. I don't always cook 5 nights a week but take out once a week should be acceptable. Lisa D.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 0:08:42 GMT
Wouldn't fly in our house...because my DH is who cooks
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 28, 2014 0:12:58 GMT
I agree with Volt. If you're going to be cooking anyway, and always have, I don't see the harm in cooking like you always have and just saving his portion. He'll need a week to "catch up" to you but I don't see what the big deal is. If you don't plan to cook every night when it's just you, when you do cook, make a full batch. If he has to eat the same thing 2 or 3 nights in a row, oh well, but I don't see why this is a problem that can't be managed since you have to feed yourself anyway. And...if you double the recipes for a couple of weeks, you can save enough to freeze for both of you and you won't have to cook for yourself either! Win-win, right?? But, to take it seriously for a moment, I agree that it isn't fair for him to expect you to do this for him all the time. He is an adult and has the ability to learn how to cook some things on his own. While I do not advocate a lot of processed foods, there are rice packets that can be heated in 90 minutes, rotisserie chickens, and frozen veggies. Start really easy, and work from there.
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Post by Kymberlee on Jul 28, 2014 0:15:07 GMT
You guys are awesome. This was my first PVM (sorta) thread. DH is an awesome guy; just completely clueless in the kitchen which is partly my fault. I enjoy cooking for him, and he enjoys eating my food. School isn't quite a "choice" for him, though. He was selected to go to Army War College which is huge for his career. I'm sad I'm not going with him, but I have a very good job in NoVa that would be silly to leave since we will PCS in a year. I love all the suggestions about freezing hamburger meat and chicken. I have told him I would do all that, but he thinks there is something magical that happens in the kitchen that he won't be able to do. Dude is a leader of men, but can't boil water??? Sigh. He is leaving tomorrow with a cooler of BBQ teriyaki chicken, veggies, and pasta. He is just going to have to break down and go to the commissary at some point
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 28, 2014 0:20:54 GMT
I just have to ask. Are there some hard feelings about him going off for a yr to this course? and only home on wkends? Is there some added stress? I would do as Volt said. It would be no big deal to save a meal, and in fact if you make a bigger meal, freeze 1 for you, and 1 for him, or 2 for him. KWIM? I think that as a wife, if my dh didn't cook I would do this for him. Just like he would do something for me. It's part of being married.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:26:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 0:24:35 GMT
The day before leaving is always the worst day. What he is really asking is... will you forget me in the day to day stuff and am I still important to you. eh, he is important enough for a cooler of teriyaki chicken and some vegs. Next week he will be brave enough to handle the bread and lunch meat aisle of the commisary to supliment the left overs you send with him... or hit the mess hall.
But he will feel braver about the whole situation and know you still love him even if he is away. Food is love.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:26:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 0:25:12 GMT
I agree with Volt. If you're going to be cooking anyway, and always have, I don't see the harm in cooking like you always have and just saving his portion. He'll need a week to "catch up" to you but I don't see what the big deal is. If you don't plan to cook every night when it's just you, when you do cook, make a full batch. If he has to eat the same thing 2 or 3 nights in a row, oh well, but I don't see why this is a problem that can't be managed since you have to feed yourself anyway. And...if you double the recipes for a couple of weeks, you can save enough to freeze for both of you and you won't have to cook for yourself either! Win-win, right?? But, to take it seriously for a moment, I agree that it isn't fair for him to expect you to do this for him all the time. He is an adult and has the ability to learn how to cook some things on his own. While I do not advocate a lot of processed foods, there are rice packets that can be heated in 90 minutes, rotisserie chickens, and frozen veggies. Start really easy, and work from there.
What I meant is if she's making a single serving thing like a sandwich, it makes sense that she'd only be making 1. But if she's making lasagna or a casserole, it's just as easy to make a full pan as half a pan and then he could just take that. It's no extra work to her.
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Post by *KatyCupcake* on Jul 28, 2014 0:37:26 GMT
He could always just heat up some MRE's. LOL
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 28, 2014 0:53:53 GMT
Volt, you nailed it!
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Post by melanell on Jul 28, 2014 1:03:26 GMT
I like Volt's idea. Basically just freeze single servings of left-overs every night and then he can reheat them one night at a time the following week. Just start saving them the week before he leaves. Oops, duh, he leaves tomorrow. Well, I'm sure between the two of you you can come up with one week's worth of meal or ideas while you get started on saving things. It sounds like a place for both of you to compromise a bit. Good luck!
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 28, 2014 1:08:43 GMT
Good luck to you both. Grad school is a big commitment.
My suggestion is that you go to the grocery together and pick out some easily prepped foods for both of you. Trader Joe and Whole Foods both have good options for single dining. You might also do some weekend cooking together and prepare extras for your week. Have you considered baking cookies or cake? That sort of covers the food = love part of the problem.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Jul 28, 2014 1:08:56 GMT
It it was my husband I would gladly do it for him.....
It is no big deal. I would do a meal a day and put away his portion.
To learn how to cook while he is a way might be more of a head ache then you cooking for him. no big deal.
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Post by gotranch on Jul 28, 2014 1:40:21 GMT
I don't mind making extras when I cook for the week. That isn't a big deal at all. The problem is that I will probably not make a whole heck of a lot of meals while he is gone. We don't have kids so I usually don't cook much when he isn't home. I plan to make big portions of whatever I do cook so he will have leftovers. I guess it just annoys me that he thinks it isn't a big deal to make meals for him all week. There is no way that I will spend all day on Sunday cooking, though. I work full time, and my Sundays will not be spent in the kitchen. Bottom line is that I think he is being a little prickly 'cuz he seems to dismiss out of hand doing things on his own such as making spaghetti or maybe turning on the crockpot. We we will get into a routine and the meal thing won't be a big deal a few weeks from now. He will also get tired of takeout quickly. :-). I'd with you. I wouldn't be doing any big cooking if I were by myself either and I would be annoyed too. Show him how to cook an egg, make a sandwich and open a can of soup. My question is - if you were going to be away for a year of school would he make you care packages of food to eat?
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Post by scrapApea on Jul 28, 2014 1:53:06 GMT
Yeah he's nuts but.... I just read this post via facebook post is here regarding making all these freezer meals. 46 meals in 4 hours. Perhaps the two of you could get together one weekend and work this up so he and just take a bunch with and thaw and follow the directions. There is a link on that site regarding the book she got all the recipes from. I was considering doing this myself. If I didn't have to cook for a while.... Of course I KNOW my DH would be going out every night eating all kinds of crap and gaining 20 lbs because of it. AND spending probably $60 or more a week on food for just him. That would piss me off more than making him dinners to go. - but I'm cheap like that. AND what are all us mothers of sons learning from this post? TEACH YOUR BOYS TO COOK!!!
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 28, 2014 1:54:54 GMT
And...if you double the recipes for a couple of weeks, you can save enough to freeze for both of you and you won't have to cook for yourself either! Win-win, right?? But, to take it seriously for a moment, I agree that it isn't fair for him to expect you to do this for him all the time. He is an adult and has the ability to learn how to cook some things on his own. While I do not advocate a lot of processed foods, there are rice packets that can be heated in 90 minutes, rotisserie chickens, and frozen veggies. Start really easy, and work from there.
What I meant is if she's making a single serving thing like a sandwich, it makes sense that she'd only be making 1. But if she's making lasagna or a casserole, it's just as easy to make a full pan as half a pan and then he could just take that. It's no extra work to her. I am knee deep in learning how to cook for only myself, after spending years cooking for other people, including teen boys that eat enough for four people. My oldest goes away to college this year, and the youngest has so much going on that he isn't home as much for dinner these days. So all that to say that I was making a very poor attempt at a joke that lost something in the translation about doubling the recipe so she didn't have to cook either. LOL
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jul 28, 2014 1:58:04 GMT
I would do it because he's my husband and he asked me to. It would also be cheaper then buying food for 2 homes.
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Jul 28, 2014 2:01:47 GMT
I`d do it because I would think I need to eat anyway. I am one of those, ``If it`s not a hot, home cooked meal, it`s not a healthy dinner`` people. So even with him gone and no kids, I would still be cooking every day. To me, those frozen meals people are mentioning aren`t healthy. And I do NOT do canned soup. It has to be from scratch, or it`s bad for you.
So I`d cook for him.
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Post by luanne on Jul 28, 2014 2:03:16 GMT
I would meet him half way. Each week send a few meals with him but he should also learn to make pasta, salad, frozen pizza, sandwiches ect...
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Jul 28, 2014 2:07:58 GMT
I would have told him he's lost his mind as well. But I do like Volt's idea. That wouldn't be too much extra work for you. He could definitely fend for himself for the first week.
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Post by darkchami on Jul 28, 2014 4:46:40 GMT
I agree with making a bit extra for yourself and freezing it for him.
I do have to say that I cannot cook. I've tried. However, I lived by myself for 5 years and somehow survived without living on restaurant meals. I'm sure he could manage it for a year. At the very least he needs to help you in the kitchen a bit. That way you spend time together, and he can pick up some skills.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 28, 2014 4:51:33 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him. I don't see it as a big deal so I don't think he is losing his mind or you are bitchy. I do think you are a bit prickly. It's partly your own fault for not kicking him into touch long ago. It clearly suits him to be helpless. He'd soon find his way around a kitchen if he had to.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:26:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 5:03:28 GMT
Wait, so there's a commissary and/or a mess hall and he's still complaining about not being able to eat? Oh my goodness that changes things a bit. It's like a kid at college bitching you didn't send him food when he has a meal plan and snacks nearby! Ok, so help him out a bit, but it's time to push him out of the nest! Lol! Good luck to him while he's away.
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