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Post by Kymberlee on Jul 27, 2014 22:05:50 GMT
My DH is leaving tomorrow to attend school in Carlisle, PA. It is a year long course, but he plans on coming home most weekends since we only live two hours away from Carlisle. DH is absolutely helpless in the kitchen and can't seem to boil a pot of water without asking me a million questions about how to do it. I take care of all the cooking in the house. No biggie; we both have things we are good at when it comes to managing the household.
Anywho, he asked me to make him food for the week to take with him so he doesn't have to cook during the week. I was like WTF??? He seriously thinks I am going to make 4-5 meals a week for him so he just has to heat them up every night for dinner. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I offered to help grocery shop, show him how to do some basic things, and give him easy CrockPot recipes, but his reply was that he didn't want to do that and he would just have to spend more $$ getting take out all week. I did tell him that I don't mind throwing extra meat on the grill when I grill or making extra on the weekends so he can have leftovers, but there was no way I was going to make enough meals for the entire week for an entire year.
So, am I being an uncooperative a hole??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:09:48 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him.
I don't see it as a big deal so I don't think he is losing his mind or you are bitchy. I do think you are a bit prickly.
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mochi
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Jun 26, 2014 1:45:16 GMT
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Post by mochi on Jul 27, 2014 22:11:19 GMT
While I wouldn't make 4 or 5 different meals a week, I think 2 or 3 dishes would be reasonable.
I would spend Sunday cooking meals for him to take back & that I could reheat during the week for myself. For example, you could split a pot of chili - he could take it back and eat it a couple nights and you could reheat yours for a couple nights. Soup, chili, stews, pasta are all good reheated.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Jul 27, 2014 22:15:42 GMT
I would do what Volt says. If you make lasagna - wrap up and freeze the leftovers. If you make chicken - do the same.
When he leaves on Sundays, he packs up all the leftovers in a cooler and has his food for the week.
I agree with him - him getting takeout every night will get pricey.
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Dani-Mani
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Post by Dani-Mani on Jul 27, 2014 22:15:55 GMT
I attend school full time and live by myself and manage, but it isn't easy--at all.
Of course it would be helpful if you helped him out for a bit. It'll be a big adjustment for him, I'm sure.
I also think Volt's idea is a good one.
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Post by Ryann on Jul 27, 2014 22:16:01 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him. I don't see it as a big deal so I don't think he is losing his mind or you are bitchy. I do think you are a bit prickly. This sounds like a very reasonable and doable compromise. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:16:15 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him. I don't see it as a big deal so I don't think he is losing his mind or you are bitchy. Let him do take out the first week and this week do what Volt said so he'll have meals for the following week and going forward.
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craftykitten
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Post by craftykitten on Jul 27, 2014 22:17:39 GMT
I guess if you don't mind cooking anyway, then doing extra so that he can take portions isn't that big of a deal. I'd probably do some just to be helpful, but I don't like cooking so the idea of giving up my Sunday to spend all day cooking would be actual hell. It sounds like what's bothering you is that he's *expecting* you to do it. Have you talked about how things are going to be different while he's away? If he's leaving tomorrow perhaps it's a last-minute-nerves thing?
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Judy26
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 27, 2014 22:20:51 GMT
I like the ideas given but on the other hand there is no reason he can' t learn to make a few easy meals himself. So I vote fore maybe 2 homemade meals and ingredients for the other few days.
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marianne
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Post by marianne on Jul 27, 2014 22:21:18 GMT
Make what you normally cook during the week. Put his serving in the freezer. When he comes home on the week end he will have a week's worth of dinners from your previous week of cooking. Pack them in a cooler to go back with him. I don't see it as a big deal so I don't think he is losing his mind or you are bitchy... Sounds like the perfect solution, a win-win for both of you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:21:59 GMT
I don't think you're being bitchy and I think your DH has some pretty unreasonable expectations!
I wouldn't mind putting some leftovers in the freezer for him, but I wouldn't cook separate meals for him.
I WOULD expect him to make himself sandwiches, etc for dinner. He wouldn't be eating out all week long. That's way too much money!
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Jul 27, 2014 22:24:58 GMT
Awww.... I think it's sweet that he wants you to make his meals. Cooking for your family is one of the most loving things you can do for them. I also would do what volt says.
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Post by *KatyCupcake* on Jul 27, 2014 22:29:11 GMT
I think you're both right. You cook as usual. Place servings for him in the freezer to take the following week. He can learn how to do some basic cooking skills. Boiling water for his own pasta noodles, making salads, sandwiches, heating up cans of soup. Show him the frozen meals at the grocery store. The EVOL brands are pretty good!
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sakura
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Jul 1, 2014 17:44:12 GMT
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Post by sakura on Jul 27, 2014 22:32:37 GMT
I think he is being unreasonable to expect you to make 4-5 different meals. Your entire Sunday would be spent making food for him. He should be able to learn how to make a few dishes so he can be self-sufficient during the week. I would have no problem setting any leftovers aside for him so he has some meals to take back with him. Other than that, he is on his own.
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Post by johna on Jul 27, 2014 22:38:30 GMT
I'm also with Volt. but, he would have to eat sandwiches or something for lunch and have the leftovers for supper. Eating out three meals every day would be ridiculously expensive AND he would gain weight, without a doubt.
edited to add: I don't see any reason why he can't put forth the effort to learn to make a few things, either. He does need to give as well as take.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:19:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:41:10 GMT
I don't think you're being bitchy and I think your DH has some pretty unreasonable expectations! I wouldn't mind putting some leftovers in the freezer for him, but I wouldn't cook separate meals for him. I WOULD expect him to make himself sandwiches, etc for dinner. He wouldn't be eating out all week long. That's way too much money! My bf makes his own lunches and snacks every day. Sunday evenings before he leaves he should go to the grocery store and get 1-2 lbs of lunch meat, cheeses, fruit, veggies, applesauce, pudding/yogurts, diet soda or iced tea, juice, whatever he drinks, rolls/bread and some snacks, chips, pretzels and cereal/milk, bagels, instant oatmeal. That covers breakfast and lunches. There's also noodles, Mac and cheese, and canned soups/ravioli type things. He can then do a microwave meal a night or 2 thru the week and supplement with whatever you send along. He won't starve! He's not a kid at college, he's a grown assed man who can learn to make simple things, AND you can help him too if you're going to be cooking already. Win-win for everyone! And as far as spending more, it may not be as drastic as you think-if you're buying less groceries at home, the difference is what he could buy when at school. Think Subway $5 foot longs, or carryout that may last 2 meals etc..... After the first 2-3 weeks hell have a "stock" of snacks and such and will probably buy less of those things than he did at first. Good luck and enjoy your alone time-I'm uber jealous!
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 27, 2014 22:41:09 GMT
He is being a little unreasonable in that he refuses to learn how to cook at least simple things. On the other hand, you'll save a lot of money if you can prepare things ahead of time.
I like the idea of cooking some extra - double the recipe for taco meat and freeze some, for example.
I'd try to find a compromise.
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Post by Chips on Jul 27, 2014 22:49:34 GMT
Honestly, I am really surprised that he can't boil water. This should be a really great opportunity for him to learn how to do some cooking and imagine the pride he'll feel in learning this new life skill! I would start getting some recipes together for him and get the food/ingredients/tools and teach him how to prepare them. Then I'd try to freeze some of them so he can have them during the week.
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Post by Kymberlee on Jul 27, 2014 22:55:28 GMT
I don't mind making extras when I cook for the week. That isn't a big deal at all. The problem is that I will probably not make a whole heck of a lot of meals while he is gone. We don't have kids so I usually don't cook much when he isn't home. I plan to make big portions of whatever I do cook so he will have leftovers. I guess it just annoys me that he thinks it isn't a big deal to make meals for him all week. There is no way that I will spend all day on Sunday cooking, though. I work full time, and my Sundays will not be spent in the kitchen. Bottom line is that I think he is being a little prickly 'cuz he seems to dismiss out of hand doing things on his own such as making spaghetti or maybe turning on the crockpot.
We we will get into a routine and the meal thing won't be a big deal a few weeks from now. He will also get tired of takeout quickly. :-).
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Post by cannmom on Jul 27, 2014 22:57:01 GMT
I would probably send some things, but not enough for a whole weeks worth of dinners. He can't fix frozen pizza or make sandwich a couple of nights a week? I don't think you are being unreasonable.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 27, 2014 23:02:43 GMT
I think you should agree to spend a sunday making meals for him... as long as he agrees to help you from start (planning and shopping) to finish, just so he can SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES.
Realistically, he's going to have to come up with some sort of contingency plan (or skill set)-- what happens if this winter is like last winter and he can't come home on the weekend.
Oh! Get him a George Foreman grill for chicken and hamburgers. If he's got a nearby grocery store that's anything like mine, he'll be able to buy flavored chicken breasts and preshaped burger patties. (Just be sure you teach him that stuff doesn't last all week in the fridge.)
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Post by NanaKate on Jul 27, 2014 23:09:51 GMT
I like Volt's idea. Send him off with two or three meals from your freezer and let him have soup/ sandwiches and take out the other days.
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Post by SabrinaM on Jul 27, 2014 23:11:26 GMT
DH's boss has an apartment here and goes back and forth to his family 8 hrs away. He alternates weeks. When he's here he eats out of a can (beans, potatoes, chili) -gag! or buys lunchmeat/deli food and eats that.
I'd do what Volt suggested. If he asked nicely. LOL
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Post by Tamhugh on Jul 27, 2014 23:15:08 GMT
Does he have a freezer where he will be staying? If so, you can throw some stuff together for him really quickly. Get a pick pack of chicken breasts and cook them on low overnight in the crockpot. In the morning, you can shred it and package it in individual portions. He can freeze it and then pull it out to use as needed. It is great for chicken barbeque, fajitas, quesadillas, caesar salads, chicken salad, soups, etc. Cook up a couple of pounds of ground beef and separate that out as well. Great for tacos, sloppy joes, meat sauce, or homemade hamburger helper type casseroles. Throw together a meatloaf or meatballs at the same time. Since you don't want to be cooking for yourself either, keep half the baggies and you both win with meals for the week. I wouldn't want to spend my entire Sunday cooking, but if spending an hour or two would help him out and make my life a little easier during the work week I could (and often do) get on top of that.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 27, 2014 23:17:51 GMT
I would also send extra food, but as he has chosen to go to school so far from home there will be extra expectations on both of you. Cooking five meals for someone else doesn't seem practical at all.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 27, 2014 23:21:02 GMT
Eat take out the first week honey and I'll save you your meals and freeze them. I do not see the big deal about saving 4-5 meal portions each week if you are cooking anyway. 4-5 meals asked for on sunday afternoon might get a bit of stink eye from me but going forward each week no biggie. The biggest issue would be keeping my teen son from eating the set aside portions. LOL
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mallie
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Post by mallie on Jul 27, 2014 23:23:50 GMT
My DH is leaving tomorrow to attend school in Carlisle, PA. It is a year long course, but he plans on coming home most weekends since we only live two hours away from Carlisle. DH is absolutely helpless in the kitchen and can't seem to boil a pot of water without asking me a million questions about how to do it. I take care of all the cooking in the house. No biggie; we both have things we are good at when it comes to managing the household. Anywho, he asked me to make him food for the week to take with him so he doesn't have to cook during the week. I was like WTF??? He seriously thinks I am going to make 4-5 meals a week for him so he just has to heat them up every night for dinner. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I offered to help grocery shop, show him how to do some basic things, and give him easy CrockPot recipes, but his reply was that he didn't want to do that and he would just have to spend more $$ getting take out all week. I did tell him that I don't mind throwing extra meat on the grill when I grill or making extra on the weekends so he can have leftovers, but there was no way I was going to make enough meals for the entire week for an entire year. So, am I being an uncooperative a hole?? I think the bolded is entirely reasonable on your part. Anything else he wants? He can do it himself. Be a grown up, for godssakes. A pet peeve of mine is when adults act like children.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 27, 2014 23:25:59 GMT
I'm surprised so many of you would send food. If I cook for only myself during the week, it's quick and easy. Not a sit down dinner. Maybe if OP had kids, but again, this man decided to go away for one year! And I'm sorry. He's in college and he cannot follow a recipe? And finally, OP offered to help him make some easy meals. Just because he doesn't want to learn, doesn't mean that's ok!!! I am just floored at all you accepting a GROWN PERSON not wanting to do something so easy. What happens when/if they have kids? He doesn't do diapers? He decides he only will do the fun stuff?
I would be willing to meet someone halfway, if they met ME halfway. But this guy is not even willing to do one thing to help himself. That doesn't strike me in the slightest bit as reasonable. I'm on your side, OP.
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Post by moveablefeast on Jul 27, 2014 23:28:58 GMT
If my DH asked for this, I would probably make one or two things I knew he loved. Taste of home and all that.
Then I would go to Costco and fill up a cooler with quick fix things. Premade if necessary. Sandwiches are really okay to eat. You know?
I don't think either of you is being unreasonable, I just think you have to make some kind of compromise. Meet in the middle.
My DH is a senior level manager on a massive program (by which I mean, he is not a complete incompetent boob) and he would eat ham on white every day if he was by himself five days a week for a year. Boil water? Yeah, not so much. Not what he is good at. I would absolutely see him asking for something like this. He is cheap like that. When he traveled 100% as a consultant he stayed in suites because that's what they booked for him, but never ever ever ever cooked not once. He would eat cheap and pocket the rest of his per-diem. If transporting food had been an option I know he would have been all over it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 23:35:03 GMT
I agree with Volt. If you're going to be cooking anyway, and always have, I don't see the harm in cooking like you always have and just saving his portion. He'll need a week to "catch up" to you but I don't see what the big deal is. If you don't plan to cook every night when it's just you, when you do cook, make a full batch. If he has to eat the same thing 2 or 3 nights in a row, oh well, but I don't see why this is a problem that can't be managed since you have to feed yourself anyway.
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