|
Post by kelly316 on Jul 27, 2014 22:26:23 GMT
Kids, marriage, career, etc. I never imagined a divorce, only one child, and splitting custody. I know things could be worse, but child custody really puts a damper on the day to day.
|
|
trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
|
Post by trollie on Jul 27, 2014 22:29:16 GMT
I'm sorry about the splitting custody thing. That would be hard for me.
|
|
|
Post by SunnySmile on Jul 27, 2014 22:30:56 GMT
In a word, no. I have a great family, but I would never have imagined my health problems and the problems it causes or prevents me from doing things I want to.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Jul 27, 2014 22:32:46 GMT
Kids, marriage, career, etc. I never imagined a divorce, only one child, and splitting custody. I know things could be worse, but child custody really puts a damper on the day to day. Sort of....I am a teacher which is what I always wanted to do. No kids and no marriage which is not what I ever thought would happen. ALTHOUGH I am happy to NOT be married to the two men I thought I would marry. The no kids thing was harder to come to terms with. I think I would have been an awesome mom and am instead an AWESOME Aunt and Godmother.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:31:04 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:34:31 GMT
Not at all. I never expected to be married to a soldier. He was in college majoring in music ed. when we got married. I never expected to live in so many different places. I thought we would be in northern or west Texas our entire lives. I never expected to be divorced at 26 years (not even a suspicion on our 25th anniversary)
I never expected to have a job in a university and be back in school to finish my own degree.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:31:04 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:37:35 GMT
Nope...not one bit.
My life has taken all sorts of twists and turns and even the really bad twists and turns gave me someone good in the end.
|
|
|
Post by kelly316 on Jul 27, 2014 22:38:31 GMT
Sunny smile- I'm sorry, health problems would definitely be worse. I have some minor ones lately, but am ultimately healthy and so thankful for that.
|
|
Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,703
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
|
Post by Anita on Jul 27, 2014 22:38:35 GMT
Not even close.
|
|
|
Post by bluepoprocks on Jul 27, 2014 22:40:18 GMT
No my life is nothing like I imagined. I wanted to be a teacher. That didn't happen. I wanted to have a bunch of kids. I have none. I'm not married but I never wanted to be so that's all that happened right. I am fairly happy with my life anyhow. Sure it could be better but you have to take what you get and make the best of it.
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Jul 27, 2014 22:42:31 GMT
No exactly. I thought I wanted kids and realized I didnt. Thank goodness. I had no other expectations but im very happy how it turned out.
|
|
|
Post by lilacgal on Jul 27, 2014 22:47:25 GMT
Yes and no. I'm a teacher, I'm a wife, and I'm a mom. Those things turned out like I expected. I didn't expect to have the health problems that showed up out of nowhere. I didn't expect for my family (dad and sisters) to fall apart.
My day to day life is about what I expected (except for just one kid). There are moments each though that I'm quickly reminded it's not.
|
|
|
Post by traceys on Jul 27, 2014 22:48:33 GMT
No, mine didn't. I never thought that I would be 57 and divorced, trying to figure out if I want to date again, and if I do, how to even go about it. I was lucky that the youngest was 16 at the time, so I didn't have to worry about custody issues...he didn't ask for anything. But having my whole family turned upside down at that point was not expected.
I also didn't expect to be retired this soon, but I am fortunate that I could be. I want to go back to work, at least part time, in the future. I was very depressed for a long time about being in such a different place than I expected at this age, but more recently I've started looking forward to rebuilding something new.
|
|
|
Post by polz on Jul 27, 2014 22:48:50 GMT
Not at all. Funny how that happens.
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Jul 27, 2014 22:50:07 GMT
In some ways, yes, but there are always twists and turns. I will say I never expected that my marriage would be so rocky ten years ago only to be so good right now. It's been a blessing for us to have gone through what we did and still be friends and partners.
|
|
|
Post by Goldynn on Jul 27, 2014 22:51:55 GMT
Absolutely not. Some great things I never imagined, some very hard stuff I never envisioned.
|
|
|
Post by cahwoo on Jul 27, 2014 22:53:32 GMT
I expected to be married. I am 49 years. I expected to have kids I have 2 Other than that I wanted a career never got that and wanted like many to be rich. We are far from it. But I have a home, I have 2 kids and 2 grand kids. So far I am kinda healthy so I guess it's ok so far. Looking forward to saying I'm married 50 years.
|
|
|
Post by shinyhappytina on Jul 27, 2014 22:55:01 GMT
I think some of my life has gone as expected, other parts not. I grew up really poor in a very bad home situation, so I have been blessed to marry the kindest man and we have a really great family and home life. I went to a great college and later got my masters degree. I ended up divorced, which I never thought would happen, but have been married now for 22 years and have three great kids (I always swore I wasn't having any...LOL). Professionally I've been so very fortunate, I became a CEO last year, which I never had any desire to be, but the right job came open at the right time and here I am. I love my job and the people that I work with. I've had health issues in the past that were really unexpected, but am doing well now. Overall, I feel like I got so much more than I ever dreamed for myself.
|
|
|
Post by roundtwo on Jul 27, 2014 22:55:55 GMT
It kind of did - I always wanted kids and happy home for them to live in. I hoped to be able to travel, to have a nice home, to be able to stay home with the kids and then start on my own career once they hit middle school or so - you know, the dream to be super mom, lol! Like voltagain, I never imagined marrying a soldier - he was studying to be a financial planner or something along that line when we married so it was a bit of an adjustment to the life of a military spouse. We moved every couple of years and we lived in lots of cool places so the travel part worked out pretty good. I was lucky enough to have kids and to stay home with them and they have repeatedly assured me that they had a great childhood so that dream has worked out well too. I didn't get to have any type of career as all the moves played havoc with trying to get established any place. I also didn't expect to be divorced after 26 years of marriage and being thrust into the crappy world of infidelity. But out of that has come a wonderful do-over and I am incredibly lucky to be in a relatively new relationship with a guy who is kind, respectful and loves me and my kids and all our weird and wonderful quirks. So although the road has had some wild and crazy twists and turns, my life has mostly turned out how I had hoped.
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jul 27, 2014 22:57:10 GMT
I'm married to the man I hoped I would marry so yes... I have 3 children - had hoped for more but am blessed with those I have (infertility and m/c)
The life we're living isn't the one we expected to live but we're relatively happy and healthy so really can't complain. There have certainly been some twists and turns and obstacles along the way
|
|
akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
|
Post by akathy on Jul 27, 2014 22:58:14 GMT
Nope. I was lucky enough to get my two healthy kids and a wonderful DH but I never expected to get a chronic disease and to lose my DH so young. I thought we'd be enjoying retirement together
|
|
momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
|
Post by momto4kiddos on Jul 27, 2014 23:05:08 GMT
lilacgirl phrased it well in that my "day to day" life is what I expected it to be. I'd be content if it continued. But i'm not sure that will be the case. My marriage is not at all what I expected it to be. That may change things up for the future.
All in all, there are things I wish I did differently... Stayed working, maybe got a degree (working on that now.) Family though, kids are awesome, parents are awesome and i'm content with all that.
|
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
|
Post by mallie on Jul 27, 2014 23:14:58 GMT
No.
I was just thinking the other day how I wish it was possible to have a "Sliding Doors" moment of my life because I've been doing a lot of evaluation of my life these days because I can see a crossroads moment on the horizon. I wonder often what my life would be like if I had made one different choice at another crossroads.
|
|
|
Post by mari on Jul 27, 2014 23:26:00 GMT
Not really. I wanted to be a doctor when I was little, and expected to marry my high school sweetheart and have a ton of kids.
I am still single, and have no kids (yet...). I found my way into a career of non-profit management which I enjoy but I am in grad school and studying a field that suits me better.
I am happy with my life, but it is different from what I imagined as a child.
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 27, 2014 23:30:16 GMT
Nope not at all.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:31:04 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 23:33:49 GMT
My life is far from perfect, but it's much better than I ever thought it would be.
Growing up with 2 alcoholic, absent parents, having them divorce, getting kicked out of the house in 7th grade and living with random people through the rest of Junior High and High school...I never imagined my life would be so stable.
But with all that said, it is my past that has created the ME I am today...and for the most part, I like who I am. (now if I were thinner, and perhaps less argumentative and opinionated, I'd be perfect) LOL
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,254
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Jul 27, 2014 23:35:04 GMT
In some ways, yes, and in others, no.
I always wanted to be a teacher and teach kids to read. Always figured I'd get a master's degree. Check those off, plus many hours beyond the Master's. And I'm a reading specialist so I have spent my career doing what I always wanted. I'm shifting more into working with teachers, as a literacy coach too, and I really like that.
Always thought I'd get married at 25 and have the first kid around 30. I was engaged at 25 but that didn't last. I didn't marry until I was 42; I had a good life before but it's much better with him in it. Never had kids and had to wrestle with that whole issue of whether to have a child alone or not, and then whether to pursue it once we got married, knowing it was more unlikely at my age. But, as someone above said, I am an awesome godmother, and we have lots of children in our lives.
We have a beautiful house that we love and great neighbors. I have good friends and mostly like the people I work with, some of whom are great friends of mine. There are losses and stresses, as there are for everyone, but life is generally good.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Jul 27, 2014 23:39:16 GMT
I am going to sound so weird when I say this, but I never really expected anything specific. I look back and understand it now, but I really grew up without dreams. I just did the next thing that came along. Graduate high school, go to college, become a teacher, get married, etc. I never even expected much from that marriage. And it ended. I never cared to get married again or have children. Until one day I did. Then I met a wonderful man, got married, left my career, had one child. I never imagined that. I never knew if I'd work outside my home again or not. I didn't for a while then out of the blue went back to school and started back to work part time. I don't know how long I'll do this.
As aimless as that all sounds, I have always been happy with my life! And up for a new challenge. Or not. I'm just very content where I am - wherever that is. And happy to roll with whatever new might come along. I think a crappy childhood does that to some people.
|
|
scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,826
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
|
Post by scrapngranny on Jul 27, 2014 23:47:30 GMT
Completely. I'm married (42 years), 3 kids, and 7 grand kids. I've worked through the years and different jobs, but I never had a career in mind, so I feel I had a job vs a career, which suits me fine. We are retired now, and enjoying our time with family.
The only thing I didn't see in my future was the 5 years of my dad living with me, but I'm grateful now for that time.
|
|
back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
|
Post by back to *pea*ality on Jul 27, 2014 23:51:25 GMT
While my life isn't as easy as some have it, there are others who have it much harder -perspective. The one thing I have learned in life is that you can't make people feel things that they don't. Some of the people that I would as the saying goes give the shirt off my back have disappointed me when I was down and out (not really referring to money, more health related) while people who I never expected to have shown me great kindness.
I have a terrific husband. We share the same values. We've worked very, very hard for the things we have in life. But now looking back, all the things we worked to get - mean nothing to us. We will work for 10 more years before we retire. We plan to sell most of the stuff and live a much simpler, uncomplicated life.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Jul 27, 2014 23:56:44 GMT
oh hell no.
|
|