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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Jul 28, 2014 2:22:18 GMT
Not 100%, but who's ever does? I'm still married to my high school sweetheart. We have two beautiful girls, always said we'd have three kids but I think we are done. Thought I'd be a teacher, but am a SAHM. Still have time to be a teacher, but that really isn't my passion anymore. Still do some/most of the things we used to do (camp, racing, boating, etc). Have most of the same friends. Can't think of much else that I thought would be different.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Jul 28, 2014 2:36:21 GMT
No. I never thought I would be stuck living where we do until dh can retire. I was told as a teen that my juvenile arthritis wasn't likely to be passed on, yet my daughter is now dealing with it. I never thought the same arthritis would take away half my vocal range; singing was the one thing I could do better very well and it's almost taken from me.
But, I never expected to be blessed with four smart, talented, empathic, great kids. Our teenager problems are minuscule compared to what could be. Due to my childhood abandonment issues, I never thought I would celebrate 21 years of marriage like we did last month.
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Post by Jennifer C on Jul 28, 2014 2:43:03 GMT
Because of my parents crazy marriage, I said never to marriage. I wasn't exactly swept off my feet, that's not dh's style, but dh did take my breath away with just a smile. So we finally married after 4 years.
Because dh was in the Navy, I left college a 3 semesters before graduation. We always said I'd go back.
I never thought I'd have children. Because I didn't think of marriage, I didn't think of children. I have 2.
The only things that I would change is that I wouldn't of made him ask and ask for 4 years to get married. Also, I would have finished college. It has been so long that I would need to start over with only a few credits from way back then.
Jennifer
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Post by roxiemarie0524 on Jul 28, 2014 3:03:51 GMT
Not even close.
Thought I would have went to college right after high school and then be married with 3 or 4 kids, live in the country and work as a teacher or be a stay at home mom. Instead, I didn't go to college until 23 (with my 2 year degree), got married, had one child, went back to school for my 4 year degree and finally graduated 2 years ago at 37 years old. I work as an account, which is what my degree is in and I live in the city.
But it has all worked out and I am happy with the life I have.
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Post by Heart on Jul 28, 2014 3:10:35 GMT
no, not at all.
I always dreamed that I would be an investigative reporter or private detective - something that would allow me to pursue my insatiable curiosity. I turned down the chance to go to Columbia in order to get married. I don't regret it, but I know my life would be dramatically different if I had chosen that path.
I never imagined in a MILLION BILLION years that I would have a child before I was of legal drinking age- much less that I would have been married for two years before that ever happened.
I'm not unhappy- just aware that life could have been very different.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 28, 2014 3:13:06 GMT
Not at all. I never planned to get married, but I love married life. I never wanted children and am happy we are childless. As for career, not at all what I expected.
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Post by countrypeagirl on Jul 28, 2014 3:17:46 GMT
Not in the slightest did I ever imagine I would be divorced and raising 4 children alone. Nor did I think I would still be single 2 1/2 yrs later.. And I also never imagined I would have switched my career to something I had no interest in simply because it pays the bills. I loved being a wife and I loved my other career. But those weren't the cards that were dealt. I know there is a reason for it and I will someday look back and say it all was worth it.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 28, 2014 3:29:48 GMT
When I was a kid I always thought I would get married, have one girl named Cassandra and be a hairstylist. Well, I did get married (very bad divorced before we had children) I did go to beauty school and become a hairstylist ( 17 years doing hair screwed up my shoulders and arms and I had to stop working in the one field I was educated in). Got married a second time. Had my daughter Cassandra. Then I had a boy. Then it all went to hell in a hand basket and I ended up with nothing. no kids no husband and no career. Then a miracle happened and I had Amanda (she was my one child I got to raise and love without anybody complicated life). Then miracle 2 happened. I met and married a wonderful man. After 18 years we have had a great life. NO I would do nothing different then I did but I would have found a better attorney when asshole 2 F**ked me over. I am so sorry.
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Post by darkchami on Jul 28, 2014 3:32:23 GMT
Nope. Before I graduated I had every detail of my life planned out for the next decade. I knew when I was going to get married, when I was going to have kids, and where I was going to work. One out of three isn't bad. I do have the career I planned. There is just so much in life you can't plan for, no matter how hard you try. I didn't get married until I was in my 30's. Then kids simply weren't in the cards for us. Life is messy. Now instead of planning how things will be, I plan for what could happen. I prefer to expect the unexpected.
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Post by chlerbie on Jul 28, 2014 3:37:55 GMT
No--it's different than I imagined--in both good and bad ways, though like others have mentioned, I never had a clear cut plan of what I wanted. I guess I thought I'd figure it out as I go.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:34:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 4:01:10 GMT
No. I went to school to be a teacher & I only made it 10 years as a teacher...have no desire to use my degree again. I never thought I'd lose half of my family that I grew up with (3 out of 6 people including me) in a 3.5 year span and due to the grief put off having my only child until I was 38. I never thought my DH would have a massive heart attack at age 40. And I never knew that I would fall in love with the climate in the NE and want to settle there so badly. (Heat didn't bother me when I was young.) All of that said, all of the above made me who I am today, and I like me.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 28, 2014 4:13:02 GMT
In many ways, yes, and in many more ways, heck no. There are plenty of things I would change, and plenty that I wouldn't change for the world.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,770
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Jul 28, 2014 4:44:41 GMT
Yes, I've closely followed my "master plan." I was behind by about 2 years, and my career wasn't what I had imagined it would be. I'll admit I did things in the 'right' order, mostly to not piss off my very religious mother.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jul 28, 2014 4:54:52 GMT
I could have never imagined, in a million years, I would not have a real relationship with my mother and sister. Other than that....Pretty much, yes.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:34:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 5:33:51 GMT
No. I was going to be a famous singer or author. Maybe both. Psychologist was my Plan B. I am none of those, plus I live in the one city I SWORE I would never, ever, EVER live. Been here 22 years and there is no hope I'll ever leave. *sigh* On the other hand, I did want to be a mom and I am that times 6. L
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oblibby
Full Member
Posts: 211
Location: Bonnie Scotland
Jul 10, 2014 10:30:12 GMT
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Post by oblibby on Jul 28, 2014 5:41:14 GMT
No, but I'm good with that. Life is generally good - yes, I'd like a nicer house and better-paying job, but I'm happy, healthy, have great family and friends and manage to go on holiday a couple of times a year .
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 28, 2014 6:10:42 GMT
Nope. My life is the pits, and it`s my own fault. Too many times I didn`t stick up for myself when I should have. The worst was not more firmly disabusing my mother of her silly notion that I`d be a speech therapist. One way I could have done that was by saying no to her when she had me drop Spanish for a second science. That class messed up my GPA. In general, I should`ve fought to take easier classes I could ace so I could have gotten a scholarship and left town right away.
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Post by anniefb on Jul 28, 2014 6:53:08 GMT
No for a lot of things. I thought I'd become a teacher, ended up in law instead. Always expected to marry and have kids but neither happened. Didn't expect to end up living overseas for several years. I'm greatful for a lot of things but it's certainly not all as I expected!
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Post by penny on Jul 28, 2014 7:42:28 GMT
No, in almost every single way... The last couple years have been hard - loosing the things I had wanted and worked for, so this is a thought I have a lot right now... I'm okay that things aren't exactly how I wanted them in every single way... I think that seeing a lot of them disappear all at once is hard in a different way than the things I 'never got around to' or that were more like fantasies/day dreams...
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Post by gar on Jul 28, 2014 7:47:05 GMT
In the broad sense - yes. I have a happy marriage to my HS sweetheart, 2 wonderful kids and a nice home. I was pretty sure I was going to richer than this though
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Post by lesserknownpea on Jul 28, 2014 8:09:40 GMT
I did not expect to be divorced after 35 years, dependent on my son for a home, in debt with an X in prison.
I wanted to be a nurse when I was young, I would have made an excellent one.
I did not want to have kids young. I had 4 by 27.
Most of all I naively believed in love and that if I poured my heart into a relationship, we would succeed and find ourselves growing old together surrounded by grandchildren and produce from our garden.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,792
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 28, 2014 9:50:17 GMT
In some ways yes, but in most, not at all!
Expected to stay married to dh who I met when I was 17, married at 20. We celebrated 42 years this April. Good times and some bad, but mostly good. Didn't think we would have kids, but ds came along late in our marriage, he is 19 and has been a blessing.
Worked as a secretary for over 25 years, quit for 5 when ds was born. Returned to work when he started school, subbed as a lunch lady at his school, was hired f/t after about a month, and will start my 15th year next month, still like my job a lot.
Born and raised in NY- never thought I'd spend 30 years of my married life as a farmer's wife! But dh wanted to farm, and we had an opportunity to buy some property in AR where we raised cattle and chickens. So here we are, still farming, but just cattle and hay now. Great place to raise a child, could not go back to city life again, though I love going home for a visit, my family is still in NY.
I love to sing, have a group of "music friends" that I jam with regularly. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that growing up, and until about 15 years ago, I would have thought you were crazy if you had told me that I would have had the guts get up and sing for others. But learned to play guitar, started singing a bit, and now it is one of my favorite things to do. I am thankful for the ability that I have been blessed with- I especially like to sing harmony, it comes easy to me. I guess that my involvement with music is another unexpected thing which came to me later in life.
Life does throw twists and turns, but I will say that most of mine have been positive.
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Post by lightetc on Jul 28, 2014 11:31:49 GMT
I'm only 27 so I have a looooong way to go - I hope.
But chronic illness has meant my 20s have been nothing like what I expected. Instead of travel or focus on career or even marriage and having kids young just hasn't happened. Instead I sleep and listen to audiobooks, crochet and sew. I have my engineering degree and a great job but I stepped back to part time 18 months ago when I wasn't well enough to work full time. My peers do this as they start a family - not so they can sleep more..
I still have hopes and dreams for what's ahead but am slowly embracing the fact that some of them may not be possible - particularly kids - if I'm not well enough or I'd pass this on. Treatments are improving and my health along with them. There's every possibility that in 2 years time my life will resemble normal. But right now, that's incredibly far away!
Reading other people's stories and realising we all have our highs and lows is really encouraging. Thank you
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Post by nesser01 on Jul 28, 2014 11:50:24 GMT
Not even in the slightest. I thought after I graduated high school, I'd go to college, have a career, get married, start a family and live happily ever after. But family drama and things happened. I went to college for almost two years, but a lot of family stuff happened and I had to quit school find and find a place of my own. (Dad tried to commit suicide, he lost his business,parents had lots money issues, the house went in to foreclosure, my mother left and a whole slew of other crappy things. Somehow all this was my fault... you gotta know my lovely family...). A short time after I moved out on my own, I met my now husband and we had a kid, then got married. We are actually going through a divorce because we just want different things out of life (number of kids, way of lifestyle, etc). After being married for 7 years we've concluded we make better friends than husband and wife (people don't get it, but we do. We both just need more and we can't give each other what the other needs in that kind of way) I went through a huge spiral of confusion regarding school/career and let a lot of my insecurities and past get the better of me and kind of gave up and settled for "life that I don't like until I had an epiphany of sorts. I have a new position at work, I'm going back to school and kind of have an idea of what I want to do, so I am at least working towards that. So yeah, my life turned out nothing like the fairytale I had imagined. It's getting there though.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Jul 28, 2014 12:15:02 GMT
In some ways, yes. I really can't complain. There were difficult years, but at this point, in my mid-50s, I feel it's pretty good.
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Post by jesslee on Jul 28, 2014 12:58:52 GMT
Nope! I thought I would go to college, get married, have kids, stay home until they were in school and then have a great career.
I had my first child when I was 19. Went to college. Got married in college. Got divorced 10 years later. Went through the toughest time of my life. A horrific divorce and custody battle. Resulting in my ex husband taking off with our daughter and not seeing her for over a year. She is back with me now and we are all great. I have 2 other children and a wonderful husband.
I never imagined the kind of things I would go through. But life is great now. Still not what I envisioned but that is ok. I financially can't stay home with my kids but I'm working towards that dream career and living for the now and enjoying every moment.
It always amazes me the path we are put on. We could all right a book!
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Post by Barbie on Jul 28, 2014 13:12:30 GMT
Not even a little. I never in a million years imagined I would be divorced not only once, but twice. (The first marriage lasted 3 years. I was 19 when I married my 21 year old college boyfriend. I remarried 4 years later and that lasted for nearly 20 years.) I had always imagined I would finish college, get married, have 3 kids, and live in a sweet little house with the proverbial picket fence. No career. Never really wanted one. Always thought I'd be a SAHM. I wanted to travel a lot, both with and without my kids. I wanted to live somewhere near the water, but preferably not in the southeast heat and humidity. I thought I'd live a simple but comfortable life.
I only have one child, and while we are very close, her life has taken her to live far away from me. I spent my 20 year marriage in a house, neighborhood, town, state, region that I hated. I hated the climate and I wasn't real fond of the people. I would still be there if I hadn't ended a very unhappy marriage. I spent more years working than I had planned--mostly in stupid jobs I hated because I didn't have a career or a college degree. I married two different people, both for the wrong reasons. I made a LOT of bad choices and decisions. I never expected to have serious health issues in my 30's and 40's. Things that impact my life and keep me from doing the things I want to do. I didn't expect to lose my big brother last year of a sudden and completely unexpected heart attack.
I never expected to be divorced at 45. I never expected to be reunited with the guy I fell in love with when I was just 14 and he was 17. I never expected to be living with him in Minnesota, of all places! I never expected to be raising one of his teenage children after having an empty nest for 6 years. I never expected to be struggling financially at this age, and having to go back to a job after 12 years of working very part-time as a photographer.
I haven't been able to do nearly the amount of travel I still want to do, but finances are a huge hurdle now.
So no--nothing in my life has turned out the way I had hoped or imagined. Some of it is still very good--I have a man whom I love very much, and who loves me and treats me better than any other man in my life ever has. I like where I live (though it would be nice to have a house again, instead of an apartment, but divorces really screw with your finances.) I thought having his daughter live with us would be very difficult, and while it's not been without it's challenges, it's gone much smoother than I could have imagine. It's been much harder to make friends in our new city than we imagined too. But the people we've met are very nice. So while the road here has been very rough, and things still are far from perfect, but I am happier and more content than I have ever been. I think that's due in large part to a concerted effort on my part to FIND reasons to be happy and content.
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Post by mandolyn9909 on Jul 28, 2014 13:24:35 GMT
Sorry about the divorce and shared custody. That would be hard for sure. It mostly did. I do the career that I thought I would do from high school, not as far as I thought I would go in my career but I still have time. I have three kids. Thought I would have 5. Always wanted to adopt. I think we are happy with our three though and don't plan on having more right now. Never thought I would live on a farm in the country but love it. Thought I would travel more than I do but can't afford it! I guess that was always wishful thinking.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 28, 2014 13:32:33 GMT
Yes and no.
I am a teacher, mother, wife...but I don't have the family network or standard of living I thought I would. However, I am so happy right where I am.
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Post by Sparki on Jul 28, 2014 14:17:18 GMT
I'm another one who never thought about what my life would be like. I just followed the path - school, graduation, etc. It's been both better and worse than I would have thought. I was married at 18, widowed at 30, remarried at 37. Went to college, taught school for a while, started my own business. Lived in a big city, live on a ranch now, with cows and chickens. Traveled a lot in my 20's, and I would have thought I would be a homebody. No kids, though I would have thought I would have kids, but when I grew up, decided not to. Content with the life I have now. Some things I would change, but nothing really major. Wish I were thinner and prettier, lol!
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