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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 27, 2014 23:57:46 GMT
No.
The only thing that is even close to what I thought it would be is that I am a mother. But everything else? Not even a little close.
(((hugs))) to those who have endured struggles they never imagined they'd have to face.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,894 
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Post by CeeScraps on Jul 28, 2014 0:01:42 GMT
Kind of...... ~Wanted to teach Elementary School and I've been doing that for 35 years. I start [HASH]36 in a few weeks. ~Wanted to get married. I've been married for 25 years, soon to be 26. ~Wanted 2 children, have 1 due to my dh having cancer while I was pregnant with our dd. ~Wanted to travel and take vacations-hasn't happened as we can't afford to go into debt for a trip. I'm bummed, but it's ok as I do love being home. So, my life has been good. I have a wonderful husband and daughter and few regrets.  |
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Post by whipea on Jul 28, 2014 0:07:03 GMT
I wanted to be a cowboy... so no.
But, kind of a fly by the seat of my pants person, so never had real plans except I did not want to be tied to a man or children and have a successful and challenging career. That was pretty much how things panned out, but I have been with the same man for 24 years, but not legally tied and he suits my personality.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Jul 28, 2014 0:10:06 GMT
Nope...not one bit. My life has taken all sorts of twists and turns and even the really bad twists and turns gave me someone good in the end. This would be me. The world would look at my life and shakes their heads. Even in the hard times there has been. "Joy on the morning ." The hard times have made me stronger although painful. I have many blessings, a DH who loves me, 3 adult children whom I am proud of and 7 grandchildren who are my joys! |
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Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Jul 28, 2014 0:10:38 GMT
This is a hard question to answer because I can't remember ever saying "I want this or that" out of life. I knew I wanted family and travel and a career but I never specified how many kids or what income I should have. I think that by setting very specific goals like that when you're young just sets you up for failure.
Having said that, if my 18-year-old self were looking at my turning-40-next-week-in-Hawaii self, she would be surprised that I am divorced with only one child, but not surprised at my extensive travels, good career, home that I own, and the fact that I have 6 cats. Well actually, she might wonder why only 6? LOL.
But I don't regret a damn thing and am enjoying life. I have no specific plans for the future except to raise a great son and hopefully retire at 62.
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Post by Erica on Jul 28, 2014 0:12:59 GMT
I wanted a degree, career, a marriage and children. I wanted to be retired by the time I was 45. When I was about 12, I lived in Germany. I knew I would eventually live in Oklahoma- I do live in Oklahoma because my dad retired here. When I was in my 20s I dreamt I would have a daughter who I would raise on my own. I do have a daughter and I am a single mom. Lastly, I knew I would experience a tremendous loss in my life and my family-that happened three months later.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 28, 2014 0:16:40 GMT
Yes and no. I thought I would be more career driven but I had the kids I didn't think I would and that changed that. Family is more important to me. There have been some tough spots I never envisioned but we work through them. I do need to get more motivated or find a hobby that is more social. I was always outgoing up that has changed. I need more social time with others.
Lisa D.
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lambchop
Junior Member
Posts: 83
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Post by lambchop on Jul 28, 2014 0:25:26 GMT
I am a teacher, married with children. I always hoped those things would happen. It was never even in my realm of thinking that I would end up living in four different countries in 18 years though. That part is definitely not what I expected.
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Post by Native New Yorker on Jul 28, 2014 0:27:26 GMT
Not at all. I thought that I'd be a best selling author, married with one boy and one girl. Single, one boy working in a classroom.
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Post by keknj on Jul 28, 2014 0:30:47 GMT
I had hoped to be married--have been for 15 years. Didn't want children in the beginning, then wanted 2--I have two. I wanted to be a SAHM--I was for 10 years. Now I'm a lunch aide/substitute para in my kids school district. I love my life.
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jodis
Shy Member
Posts: 12
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Post by jodis on Jul 28, 2014 0:32:45 GMT
Yes and no.. When I was younger, I had wanted to be a writer, be married and have 2 or 3 kids with the white picket fence and do some travelling. I didn't expect to lose my husband at the age of 36 to Cancer, be a single Mom to one and then get remarried. I do write, but part time, I don't have the picket fence (chain link in back), I only have the one child due to fertility issues, did find love again and we do travel more often than I thought I would.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Jul 28, 2014 0:37:32 GMT
When I was a kid I always thought I would get married, have one girl named Cassandra and be a hairstylist. Well, I did get married (very bad divorced before we had children) I did go to beauty school and become a hairstylist ( 17 years doing hair screwed up my shoulders and arms and I had to stop working in the one field I was educated in). Got married a second time. Had my daughter Cassandra. Then I had a boy. Then it all went to hell in a hand basket and I ended up with nothing. no kids no husband and no career. Then a miracle happened and I had Amanda (she was my one child I got to raise and love without anybody complicated life). Then miracle 2 happened. I met and married a wonderful man. After 18 years we have had a great life.
NO I would do nothing different then I did but I would have found a better attorney when asshole 2 F**ked me over.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:32:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 0:39:29 GMT
No not at all and I often struggle with my reality. This sums up things for me right now:
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Post by elaine on Jul 28, 2014 0:42:40 GMT
Hahahaha! No. I never imagined having to sacrifice my career that I went to school for until I was 29 yo for the sake of one of my children. I so miss working full-time.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 28, 2014 0:43:50 GMT
I am not sure that anyone's life turns out the way we wanted or imagined. I even recall my mother saying something similar. I did not know that I would have health issues, but really life is always about how we handle the hurdles I mostly wish that DH knew how to tell time.  |
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Post by melanell on Jul 28, 2014 0:46:34 GMT
I'm fatter than I thought I would be.  Seriously, that is my one true issue right now. I want to get back to how I used to be when I was in really good shape. So I am working on it, but yes, there are times when it puts a damper on things. It's hard to always feel upbeat about something you are struggling with, no matter what it is. |
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Jul 28, 2014 0:54:00 GMT
Not even close and not necessarily in a good way either. Yes, I have a lot of things to be very thankful for (2 amazing kids), but I also (especially right now) have a lot of crap/stress that I never envisioned having to deal with in my life.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Jul 28, 2014 1:02:58 GMT
Is it what I thought it would be? No but it's everything I hoped it would be. Growing up, I told all of my family and friends that I was never getting married or having kids because deep down, I didn't think anyone could love an overweight, ugly girl. I told everyone that I was going to go to med school and spend all my time working.
I did start college in pre-med but after 1 year, I decided it was not for me. I switched majors to computer science. But then I met my now dh and the rest is history. Married by the age of 22, 3 kids by the time I was 28. I never finished college, which strangely I'm ok with. I've never found a passion that's pulled me back to school...the passion I have is my family. I put my all into that.
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Post by kelly316 on Jul 28, 2014 1:07:35 GMT
I haven't read them all yet , but Lucy's answer is one of my favorites. Yubon- I don't know if I remember saying this is what I want out of life either. I just know I'm not living a fairy tale. |
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,955
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Post by TXMary on Jul 28, 2014 1:10:08 GMT
I didn't really have very specific thoughts as to how I wanted my life to turn out. I thought I would be married and I am- 28 years next month. I thought I would have several children. Due to infertility, I have none. That was hard to accept, but DH and I have made a very good life for ourselves. I never thought I would do all the traveling we have done, but not having kids frees up a lot of money. Lol. We have been to so many amazing places. I never thought I would have breast cancer and go through chemo, but I did and I survived it. I don't think anyone's life turns out exactly the way they planned, but I've been very blessed and I'm loving every minute of it.
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Lozi
Shy Member
Posts: 36
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Post by Lozi on Jul 28, 2014 1:14:45 GMT
No!
I never imagined divorce!
Fast forward to now - Re-married for 8 years and the happiest I have ever been!!
Life is so short - to anyone in an unhappy relationship, please, please know life can be so much better, never let anyone treat you badly - you can and will be happy.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 28, 2014 1:15:21 GMT
It's different in some ways, but what I thought in others. I always thought I would live close to my parents. We lived 5 hours from both my grandparents growing up and I hated it. When DH (then boyfriend) and I were looking for teaching jobs there just were not any in Oklahoma. I literally had someone at a job fair from a big Oklahoma district hand me a bus driver application because they just were not hiring. We ended up moving to DFW for jobs and have been here 15 years. We love it here, but miss our families. We've looked at moving back many times, but unless one of us becomes an administrator, it would be a $10,000 per yer pay cut for each of us. Cost of living just isn't that much cheaper!
I always wanted 4 kids too. No way could we financially handle that many kids, so we stuck with 2!
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Post by papersilly on Jul 28, 2014 1:17:17 GMT
I am going to sound so weird when I say this, but I never really expected anything specific. I look back and understand it now, but I really grew up without dreams. I just did the next thing that came along. As aimless as that all sounds, I have always been happy with my life! And up for a new challenge. Or not. I'm just very content where I am - wherever that is. And happy to roll with whatever new might come along. I think a crappy childhood does that to some people. Yes. This too. |
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toby2014
Junior Member
Posts: 84
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Post by toby2014 on Jul 28, 2014 1:18:18 GMT
Nope...not one bit whatsoever. Now I would never change anything; everything that has happened (bad or good) has made me into the person I am today. I appreciate my job, no matter how hard and annoying it gets. I love my children and my only grandbaby. I love my hobbies.
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Post by PEArfect on Jul 28, 2014 1:28:23 GMT
Definitely not. Becoming a widowed sahm to our 3 daughters at 38 years old was not part of our plan. My husband and I always thought we would celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary with our children and grandchildren. This October would have been our 20th. We were blessed with 19 years married, 22 years together.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 1:29:40 GMT
Not exactly as I thought it would be when I was 12...but exactly where I want to be  |
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Post by kelly316 on Jul 28, 2014 1:39:24 GMT
Unselfishly I let my 3 children return to ExH, he had the wealth and house etc! My heart was broken. ^^^This is heartbreaking. And almost where I'm at, ex has my son more than I do.  |
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ladygodiva
Shy Member
Posts: 37
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Post by ladygodiva on Jul 28, 2014 1:52:09 GMT
I am definitely not living the life I imagined. I am happy with my career... I'm doing what I dreamed of when I was six years old. I have 2 great kids and I have my health.
I was blindsided by my ex husband's affair and went through a divorce . My parents are divorced and I never thought the same would happen to me. I thought I would get married and stay married but it didn't happen that way.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,039
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Jul 28, 2014 1:54:59 GMT
No. I always wanted to be a mom and a stay at home mom at that. I was lucky enough to do that for 15 years but now things are different.
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Post by eebud on Jul 28, 2014 2:08:50 GMT
This is me. I never really dreamed of how my future would turn out. I always seemed to take things from one thing to the next. However, by the time I was in my early 20's, I was one who said I would never married...........the man didn't exist that I could live with and they could live with me too. Then, now-DH and I found each other again after many years and I will celebrate 25 years early 2015. Today, I do plan for the future but that is mostly financially for retirement, not really specifically what we will do. I just want to get to the point where I can comfortably quit work and to do that requires being financially responsible today.
T
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