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Post by pastlifepea on Jul 28, 2014 14:33:16 GMT
Firmly in the camp of the aimless, so I didn't have a lot of expectations and have always kind of been content to drift along, plan as I go, and cross bridges upon arriving at them. I sometimes wish I had been more goal oriented in my younger years, but at the same time I'm kind of relieved I didn't have a huge "plan" to be disappointed about if it didn't work out. No one has a perfect life, but I thank my lucky stars for the many ways I have been blessed...being healthy, coming from a close family, the family I have now, and even mundane things like having electricity, enough food to eat, and money to pay the bills. I think Jimmy Buffett said it best..."I got a roof over my head, someone to love me in a four poster bed. And I can play this here guitar, gonna thank my lucky stars." Thank you, stars.
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Post by penny on Jul 28, 2014 14:52:24 GMT
Definitely not. Becoming a widowed sahm to our 3 daughters at 38 years old was not part of our plan. My husband and I always thought we would celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary with our children and grandchildren. This October would have been our 20th. We were blessed with 19 years married, 22 years together. Sending warm thoughts your way...
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Post by leslie132 on Jul 28, 2014 15:04:57 GMT
Nope.... I expected a big family with an easy life. Fertility issues, my father dying, my daughter dying after struggling with infertility for 5 years, the birth of my twins and at their 4 month mark having my husband diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a racquet ball. Nope....not at all what I expected. My life lesson here..... Every storm cloud has a silver lining. My father dying from an aggressive cancer. He still fought the "7week expectancy" and lived 18 months. He held my first born which they said he wouldn't do. He gave him sweet tea and fed him ice cream. All way to early... But I have those magical memories My daughter passed away. This is the hardest to accept because I hate what we lost. We lost our beautiful girl..... But she sent us the 2 most adorable ruffians she could. I look at them and see "her". And, she made me a better person in the 6 hours I was able to be with her. She is my most precious angel. And my husband.... Had he not gone in when he did the doctor said he would have been gone in a month. The tumor would have snapped his brain stem due to its size. It sucked and it was terrifying to live thru. But the second the doctor said, in a state of shock himself, that is was cancer free ALL WAS RIGHT. It was a horrid recovery and he still struggles, but he was home 9 months with me and the babies and he spent more time with our then 8 year old then he ever has. I am not an overly religious person. But I thank God for sending me what I can handle and carrying me thru what I couldn't. So life isn't what I expected.....but I'm happy to be living it!
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 28, 2014 17:45:18 GMT
Yes and no. I have my DH and our 2 children. I have a career in the field I expected.
I did not expect the economy to crash with the housing crisis at the same time DH was diagnosed with incurable cancer. We lost most of his income at the same time.
I did not expect that we would spend most of our time with doctors instead of travel. I didn't expect my dream job to become a nightmare. I didn't expect to be a caregiver to MIL, when DH has 5 siblings.
I do have many blessings...DH is still here, we have 2 beautiful grandchildren, good health insurance, and wonderful friends. If all goes according to our NEW plan, I can retire in 3 years.
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Post by NanaKate on Jul 28, 2014 18:34:18 GMT
What an interesting thread!
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 28, 2014 21:11:23 GMT
It could be worse for sure, but I thought by the time I was an adult with kids and such, I would know how to handle money and such. Or maybe if there was more of it, I could handle it. Just thought I would be better off. Not richy rich by any means, but better off that taking a vacation wouldn't mean not paying this or that bill.. Just thought I would be better off.
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Post by Aheartfeltcard on Jul 28, 2014 21:28:54 GMT
I don't know what I expected. Sounds silly I know. I think I have a better life than I expected. Although I have had my share of ups and downs my day to day is worry free and stress less. My family and I are comfortable, happy , stable and I think my husband and I can tahe credit for that as a team.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Jul 28, 2014 21:59:47 GMT
Yes and no. I expected to get married, buy a house, have a child etc. And I did. I have a wonderful husband and daughter. But some other things (job/income/dh's career/dd's health/learning issues) didn't turn out like I/we planned in our younger days. I spent several years feeling very bitter about it. I've spent the last couple of years getting over that and feel that I am finally there 90% of the time.
I like this quote and try to keep it in mind when I find myself going back to that thinking.
"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us"
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Post by sarahyoo72 on Jul 28, 2014 22:06:28 GMT
If you asked me 3 years ago, I would say yes. I worked part time, had 2 amazing kids, an adoring DH, and looking forward to a new adventure with a posting to Florida. As you are asking me today, then no. My marriage is not good, I feel trapped, I am not allowed to work as I'm here on DH's visa, I feel alone as I don't have the social network I did in the UK, and my Dad has just been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease/ALS. I know it is probably a trough in the rollercoaster of life, but to me it feels like a bottomless pit. I never expected to be treated the way my DH is treating me just now. And I quickly realised that living in Florida is not the same as being here on vacation
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Post by tracyarts on Jul 28, 2014 22:12:33 GMT
Not really.
But the life I have had so far has been a good one and I'm content with it. I'll post a lot more on contentment in the other thread about becoming bitter and jaded.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Jul 28, 2014 22:42:31 GMT
Not at all. I never imagined I could say at 45 that I was brain injured and unable to work due to beating sudden death. It's beyond peoples (or at least my) imagination. Then to find out my daughter has the same sudden death syndrome. Just not where I would have hoped to be. I also had kids much later in life than expected. My youngest turned 11 today; most of our friends have grandchildren.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Jul 29, 2014 13:08:32 GMT
Not at all. I never expected to be married to a soldier. He was in college majoring in music ed. when we got married. I never expected to live in so many different places. I thought we would be in northern or west Texas our entire lives. I never expected to be divorced at 26 years (not even a suspicion on our 25th anniversary) That had to have been a rough year, Volt! How long ago was that?
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scrappinchar
Full Member
Posts: 113
Jul 29, 2014 12:54:19 GMT
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Post by scrappinchar on Jul 29, 2014 14:02:17 GMT
I would say yes and no. My life is great and very blessed but there are things I would change. I always wanted to be a SAHM. But I have a great career and make good money so my husband stays home instead. It's definitely not how we planned it but it is what is best for our family at this stage.
I am not even sure if you can not have something you want different, b/c sometimes what you want changes after you have already chosen a path that maybe you are happy with just exactly what you thought...if that makes any Sense....lol
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jul 29, 2014 14:49:59 GMT
Actually my life didn't turn out how I expected. It turned out better. I never thought I'd have much of anything in my life, didn't figure I'd accomplish much or be in a happy relationship (I didn't really know anyone to model that life as a possibility except on TV). Here I am all grown up with a couple great kids, a husband who thinks I'm pretty hot stuff, I make great money, my house is almost paid off and driving a brand new car. I feel better about myself than I have my entire life.
Things could have been so different.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:37:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 15:34:47 GMT
Not at all. I never expected to be married to a soldier. He was in college majoring in music ed. when we got married. I never expected to live in so many different places. I thought we would be in northern or west Texas our entire lives. I never expected to be divorced at 26 years (not even a suspicion on our 25th anniversary) That had to have been a rough year, Volt! How long ago was that? This Christmas will be 10 years. So chronologically it has been a long time. Emotionally not so distant. We got married the week after my 18th birthday so there was a lot of growing up together done in our early years. Totally turned my world upside down. I had been a stay at home wife/mom that hadn't finished college because we lived such a nomadic life once he finished his degree. He taught band at a couple of rural Texas schools then oil in Texas went bust in the early 1980s and many small schools closed their programs (his included) so he joined the military. I know now there was LOT going on that I had not one clue about. The frequent moving of us and people in our social circle made it easy for him to hid things. It wasn't until he got ready to retire that secrets weren't able to be hidden any more. The day he threatened to make me disappear and no one would ever find me scared me to the core. The change to me life has been a bit what I think an alien abduction must be like. It has taken this long to develop a sense of possible stability in my life. I've learned a lot about emotional/mental abuse and how deeply it alters a person's sense of self.
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Post by peanuttle on Jul 29, 2014 15:51:27 GMT
Not exactly. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Hindsight, I wouldn't enjoy that, but never imagined I would be in the career I am today. I imagined I would have 2-3 kids, which I do, but ones a step, one is mine and one is DH and mine. I also imagined I would be able to spend more time with them. I hate sending them to daycare during summer break and junk like that. Life is never the happily ever after we imagine, but it's not all that bad.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:37:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 16:08:10 GMT
Nope, and I'm glad. I like my life a lot better than I would if my high school/college visions of my future came to fruition.
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Post by gonewalkabout on Jul 29, 2014 16:23:40 GMT
No. I have kids that are my world, but everything else is nothing I expected.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Jul 29, 2014 21:27:19 GMT
Yes, mine has
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 20:37:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2014 5:10:04 GMT
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,352
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Jul 30, 2014 12:56:58 GMT
When I was 16 I thought I'd kill myself before I turned 21. I'm 48 now so that certainly worked out better than I thought.
I have spent my life with bipolar disorder, have had it since I was a child, and wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30s. Most of my life has been shaped by that.
When I was in my early 20s I thought I'd get advanced degrees, get married, have kids, travel a lot, etc. I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career.
I have never been married and so never had kids. I regret this very much but that is a result of the bipolar disorder. When I was 35 I had the word "faith" tattooed on my back. I thought I just needed a little more faith that things would work out in the end. Well, it didn't help. Still unmarried, still no kids, biological clock up.
I am now successfully medicated- haven't been depressed or manic in over 10 years. I own a house (actually 2 at the moment). I have a successful career doing something I love- I'm an art teacher. This will be my 21st year teaching! I finished my master's degree at 45, yay me!
I have 3 nephews that I adore and spend lots of time with, so that helps fill that hole in my life. Spending my work days with children also helps. My life is filled with kids.
I don't care if I get married anymore but would really like a relationship. I just started dating someone so fingers crossed.
For the most part I'm pretty happy. My 16-year-old self would never have believed that was possible.
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Post by meowgal on Jul 30, 2014 15:47:02 GMT
In some ways, it is kinda how I expected, but not really what I wanted. Still, better than it could have been!
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 30, 2014 16:06:53 GMT
When I was young, my big dream was to go to college and be successful. I never expected to marry or have children. I was very much focused on leaving our small town and seeing the world. I was half right - I have been incredibly fortunate in my ability to travel, and finding success in the working world. I never dreamed I would find someone who I wanted to share my life with. I'm grateful that I realized that the right partner would enhance my life, I always saw marriage as something that would impede my dreams - not support them. It's also hard for me to imagine now my life without kids - I was definitely self absorbed in my youth - and I utterly underestimated how much richer my life would be as a mother. I'm incredibly lucky that my life is better than my teenage self could imagine.
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Post by snappinsami on Jul 30, 2014 16:16:49 GMT
kelly316, I'm sorry for what you're dealing with. I don't think anyone anticipates that, ever. (((HUGS))) As for your question, my life is NOTHING like what I thought it would be when I was younger. I grew up assuming I'd be like my parents, and never leave the area when I was raised. I thought I'd marry someone local, stay in the area, raise my kids (plural), and my career ambitions were to be either a dog breeder or a piano teacher. Nope. I married my college sweetheart, who, yes, was local, but right after graduation we moved 1,200 miles away. We've hopscotched across the country 3 times, and currently live 3,000 miles from our family. We have only one child (by choice). I'm neither a dog breeder or piano teacher, but am thankful to have a job that allows me to work from home and follow DH when we need to move for his jobs. Life throws us curve balls regularly. What keeps me sane is just repeating, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 30, 2014 17:07:36 GMT
If you rewound the clock to high school I can honestly say, my life has not turned out like I thought it would be. Back then, I had no aspirations to be a mother or wife. It was all about having a successful career. And that did not happen. I am someone's assistant which sucks big time. I don't even have enough work to do so I find myself very bored at work. Luckily, I had the opportunity to go back to school and am currently working on my masters in accounting. It will definitely not be my dream job, but it will be much more fulfilling than what I currently have.
If you rewound the clock to my mid-20s, I wanted lots of children and a successful marriage. I ended up divorced from my husband and I only had two kids. But now, I have a wonderful new husband and 3 more stepchildren to love too. So I got a bigger family than I thought I would and I couldn't be happier.
So my life did not turn out like I expected. And I fully anticipate that it will take some more twists and turns as it goes on. But it is a good life. It is a happy life.
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Post by Katie on Jul 30, 2014 17:16:30 GMT
Not so much, but I'm ok with that. I never imagined I'd move away from my parents and my hometown, and I haven't. I was certain I'd get a college degree and become a teacher, but I didn't do either. I work in a medical clinic and this December at the age of 43 I will finally have an associates degree (in coding). I was certain I'd get married and have kids. I'm married 19 years, but sadly no children.
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Jul 31, 2014 0:07:10 GMT
Not what I expected actually better!!!
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Post by montanacowgirl on Jul 31, 2014 5:27:11 GMT
No not at all. I gave up what I was good at to be a mom and I failed my children in the process. I thought I was a good mom but the outcome over the years tells a different story. I now raise my granddaughter and am sad that we'll end up in the same place 18 years from now. I re-invented my self so many times over the years, that I don't even recognize my self. Not sure how I got so far away from who I was and what I dreamed about 30 years ago.
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