I just received the strangest email

I think your response was perfect. I would not pay it, and honestly I was wondering reading your post if protheletizing was the mothers intent, so I don't think you're overreacting.

My youngest daughter is 13, and has attended church a couple of times with a close friend (as a cultural experience since we do not share their beliefs - generally after a sleepover).  Friend mentioned that my DD could attend the church's summer camp with her.  DD asked me about it, and I said if she brought me more information (like dates, cost, location, etc.) we could discuss it.  I hadn't thought about it since then.

Tonight I received an email out of the blue from friend's mom, saying that she was so excited DD could attend camp with them, and that because registration closes next week, she had gone ahead and paid DD's fee and that I could just pay her back.  All I need to do is fill out these forms and send them to her by the 28th.  She said they would certainly make sure DD had a ride if she wanted to go.

I talked with DD, and she says she never told the mom she definitely could go - that she repeated what I said about being able to discuss it.  Now, I know my daughter, and how much of a pleaser she is, and she very well could have given the impression that I had definitely said yes if she thought that's what her friend and/or the friend's mom wanted to hear.  I spoke with her about being very clear in situations like this.

I emailed the mom back and very politely explained the miscommunication, and told her that because we did not yet know our travel plans for this summer, I was not comfortable paying for a camp my child might not be able to attend.  I said I hoped she would be able to get a refund for the fee she had paid.

My question is this - would you have signed up another child for sleepaway camp, and forked over a couple of hundred dollars to pay for that child's camp fee, with the expectation of being paid back, on the possible word of a 13 year old, without having spoken to the child's parent about any of this?  And if you were in my shoes, would you think this was strange?  Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but it feels like a very aggressive sort of proselytizing/conversion attempt to me.

What would you do?  Would you feel obligated to pay this woman back?  If your family doesn't share their beliefs, would you let your very impressionable young teen attend church with them again?  My gut feeling is that after this very odd email, there is no way I would let her go even if the dates worked for us.

I guess I don't get the whole "mom has a secret agenda" thing. It's church,the agenda isn't a secret. Of course they asked if she was saved and of course they want her baptized.

The other mom way over-stepped. She should have never paid any money without talking with you first.

I would never register and pay for another child to attend anything without having written confirmation of their intention to attend. (Actually, to be honest, I would not register and pay for anyone else's kid under any circumstances because I have been burned before by people who at the last minute decide not to attend and never paid me back. I have learned that it's best that everyone make their own arrangements and pay for things themselves since I am not an ATM.)

I would feel absolutely no obligation to pay this woman money when i as the parent did not commit to my child attending.

If, however, I found out that my child DID tell the woman that she would be attending, then my kid would be paying the woman back.