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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 1, 2016 12:51:31 GMT
Oh, don't you wish you could wave a magic wand for our kids and make it all better? I hate that anxiety and confused thoughts are causing her - and you - so much pain. I sincerely hope you can get her the combination of help that gets her through this. Such a hard situation for a mama.
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Apr 1, 2016 12:56:04 GMT
I'm sorry you are going through this. I would continue to work with the therapist. This can't be easy on any of you right now. Big hugs.
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Post by worriedmomma on Apr 1, 2016 13:00:50 GMT
Thank you for all the advice, prayers, good thoughts, and hugs. I need it all. She is on Zoloft, so I called the prescribing doctor and we are going in today to look at that. I think you are all right that a medication change is in order. I'm so dense, I hadn't even thought about locking up the medications. I will do that today while she is at school, along wth anything else I can thing of. This sucks. ![:'(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cry.png)
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Deleted
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Jun 28, 2024 19:58:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2016 13:03:20 GMT
By coming to you, she's crying out for help. So glad she came to you instead of putting her thoughts into actions.
Did the therapist say why he didn't feel she was a danger to herself? Something she said to him? I wouldn't feel comfortable just taking his word for it. Call the hotline and see what they say. Suicide prevention is their specialty.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 1, 2016 13:07:49 GMT
I just want to send you hugs. I am going through this right now with my son. My DS has the number to the suicide hotline and he has called. We have been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I think a medication change is probably necessary in your case, so I would definitely make an appointment with a psychiatrist. I am going to keep your daughter in my prayers.
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pudgygroundhog
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Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Apr 1, 2016 13:11:19 GMT
I don't have any advice, but want to send ((Hugs)). I'm grateful she came to you and you guys can seek the proper treatment to help her. I'm sorry. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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Post by not2peased on Apr 1, 2016 13:11:27 GMT
having been in your place, there are some practical things you can do.... it is so very tough, I know. you can lock all of your drugs in a lock box .... tylenol, aspirin, prescriptions, etc. be present, physically and emotionally. be there to talk, but also be there to watch. this is not the time to leave her alone while you go out to movies, etc. you already are seeing a therapist, work closely with them, although I found that I gave more info than i got. talk to school counselor, if you can, and enlist the aid of teachers to keep watch.... you don't have to be specific as to why, that is up to you. I am glad she is talking to you.... that is the number 1 best thing you can do. I agree with all of this but also-if you have guns-please either remove them from the house, or lock them up in such a way that there is no possibility she can access them
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Apr 1, 2016 13:11:32 GMT
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Post by anxiousmom on Apr 1, 2016 13:13:00 GMT
I'm so sorry. As the mother of a teenager, I can not even imagine the heartbreak of hearing your baby say those words. I don't have any advice, but do want to commend you for whatever it is that you have done that created an environment where your daughter came to you with this. That speaks volumes about what kind of parent you are and the trust that she has in you that you will help her. That matters as much as anything else...you don't have to be perfect, but it is absolutely clear that you are doing she sees as perfect for her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 28, 2024 19:58:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2016 13:18:04 GMT
Honestly I am surprised that a therapist dismissed this. I had a friend whose child threatened suicide in a counselors office and was immediately hospitalized for the next 30 days until it was determined they were no longer a threat to themselves (and this include time in the facility on a suicide watch). Better to err on the side of caution.
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on Apr 1, 2016 14:47:10 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Your poor dd. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg) It's an awful thing to have no hope. I don't have a lot to offer, but you might try taking her to a medical doctor to have a complete work up. There are medical conditions that can cause panic attacks and anxiety. For example, some thyroid conditions will. Please make sure your doctor rules them all out. There may actually be hope for her for a long term cure and not just medication to suppress it. If reading other's stories help her, have her read the blog Epbot. The writer struggles with panic attacks and anxiety. She's done a wonderful job of sharing her journey and the things she's doing to help herself. The Bloggess is another one who shares what she's going through and the things that help her. She may get comfort from reading that these two women have anxiety but still have wonderful, full lives with love and joy in them.
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Post by Really Red on Apr 1, 2016 14:58:19 GMT
I, too, cannot believe a therapist dismissed this. My ex is bipolar. When he was going through the worst of everything (before meds got straightened out), we spent hours and hours and hours talking. I told him (we were divorced for 6 years by then) that no matter what (NO MATTER WHAT) he picked up that phone and called me. I would always have his back as long as he was trying to help himself (I would not say that part to my DD, but needed to, to my ex). Just having someone say that over and over and over was helpful to him. He needed to know that someone was constantly worried and cared. It did NOT stop the feelings, but it gave him a place to go to. A dear friend went through this with her 18yo until her meds were adjusted. What saved that girl was the fact that she could call her mother at any time. The mom was worn out by the end, I'm sorry to say, but the girl is now 21 and doing GREAT. Meds make all the difference in the world
It must have been so hard for your DD to tell you and such a relief for her as well. That is so giant. Let her know that you are there to talk her through it each and every single time. You will never ever get tired of talking with her and never ever feel frustrated or upset with her. Tell her it doesn't matter what time of day or night it is. My ex is in a depression group now and they all say that what saved them was having someone to talk to.
And FWIW, even though my ex talked suicide, he didn't have a plan, so they wouldn't keep him overnight anywhere. Depression therapy is not very good and you have to be diligent. I don't want to scare you because i think all the signs in your case are good, but you have to be constant and diligent.
Many hugs and much good luck.
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Apr 1, 2016 15:27:56 GMT
You have already received excellent advice but wanted to send my support as well. (hugs)
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 1, 2016 15:57:26 GMT
Lots of good advice already, just wanted to add my prayers for your family and let you know you'll be in my thoughts. Hang in there, both of you.
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luvnlifelady
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Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 1, 2016 16:50:14 GMT
I have been there with both children (worse with now 19 yo DD). We just recently got my 15 yo DS into counseling. In the first session, he admitted to thinking about suicide. It worries me. He had been home the previous 3 days alone and will be alone more now with my new job. Also, a school mate just recently did it and he has seen the related social media attention this has gotten.
There's a decent chance that my son is gay and this young man was too. I think with things like this, you just have to have hope that it won't happen. Do everything you can within reasonable means and then just hope. I can't stop my life to be with my kids 24/7 unfortunately. I have to go to work as does DH. If there was a sure way to stop it, I would move heaven and earth to make sure they don't do it, but I just don't know what the realistic answer is.
Hang in there mom. I'm glad she came to you. I had some suspicions about my son (he talks more to me than DH but they are close too). It's heartbreaking.
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LeaP
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Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Apr 1, 2016 18:01:09 GMT
Hugs. It is good that she came to you.
Both of my daughters (12 & 15) have anxiety. What really helped the younger one was a group anxiety class. I think it was the group part of it that was most helpful. While every kid in the group was different and had different triggers, it was knowing that she was not the only one with anxiety.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 1, 2016 18:04:35 GMT
I'm sorry. Parenting is hard. I'm glad she is talking to you.
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Post by NanaKate on Apr 1, 2016 18:27:22 GMT
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I said a prayer for you and your daughter. God bless your family. (((HUGS)))
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Post by genny on Apr 1, 2016 18:37:13 GMT
I am SO SO sorry. We are going through the exact same thing, except we didn't even realize DD16 was having anxiety/stress and depression issues. In the last two weeks we found out (she came to us for help because she was feeling like your DD), found a therapist and had a great first session, seen our PCP who put her on a low does antidepressant and have met with her school guidance counselor as well.
It is scary and I personally feel very helpless. I've done the same as you - kept my shit while she was talking to us, then lost it later. I am a very 'stressy' person myself and I've had to check myself these last couple of weeks to try and not let my stress affect her too.
I hope you can find her the help she needs and deserves - I wish I had some answers for you but since we are just starting this journey I have nothing to add. Bless you mom, and best to you both!
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Post by sasha on Apr 1, 2016 18:38:09 GMT
The good news is she felt comfortable enough to tell you and that now you can get her more intensive help. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter!
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caro
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Apr 1, 2016 20:00:24 GMT
I am so sorry, I can't imagine. In addition to the above, don't be afraid to call 911 if you think she is in danger. Me too.
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Post by Freefallfast on Apr 1, 2016 20:02:47 GMT
Try and find her a peer group that has had this experience. Along with therapy of course.
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Post by worriedmomma on Apr 1, 2016 21:41:37 GMT
I can't thank you all enough. You've made this really scary time a little less lonely. I read a blog post a couple years back saying that parenting teens is pretty lonely. I get it now. When they were younger, I could call up my friends and ask for advice with not pooping in the potty or being sassy. But now I can't do that. She drops this bombshell on me and I have to be strong for her, but I can't go to my friends for help with this one. It's pretty isolating. We will get through it though. I can be strong for her.
She's had a really good day today. Talking about it seems to have lifted the burden. She seems more hopeful today. I'll take the little wins wherever I can get them.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 1, 2016 22:45:41 GMT
I don't have any experience with this but my first thought was that her medication needs to adjusted or changed. This sound to me like it's more than just therapy can remedy. Prayers and positive thoughts going out to your daughter and you. This is my reaction as well. There are psychiatrists who specialize just in adjusting medication (psychopharmacologists). Given that your daughter is likely experiencing many physical changes of adolescence, she may need either an adjustment in her current medication or an additional med added to what she takes. She can continue seeing her therapist but consult with a specialist for the medication.
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Apr 1, 2016 23:01:45 GMT
I can't thank you all enough. You've made this really scary time a little less lonely. I read a blog post a couple years back saying that parenting teens is pretty lonely. I get it now. When they were younger, I could call up my friends and ask for advice with not pooping in the potty or being sassy. But now I can't do that. She drops this bombshell on me and I have to be strong for her, but I can't go to my friends for help with this one. It's pretty isolating. We will get through it though. I can be strong for her. She's had a really good day today. Talking about it seems to have lifted the burden. She seems more hopeful today. I'll take the little wins wherever I can get them. I don't want to freak you out but...... Be very alert. Once a plan is made, things tend to "get better".
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Post by bearmom on Apr 1, 2016 23:03:24 GMT
Hugs to you. I too have a dd with anxiety (no suicide thoughts that I'm aware if, but food issues). I agree about feeling alone sometimes, dh doesn't understand (which is weird because he suffers rom anxiety as well) so that doesn't help either. I thought the tough years were over after the toddler years were over.......
I hope you are able to get dd help and keep her safe.
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lesley
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Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Apr 1, 2016 23:40:10 GMT
worriedmomma , I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this tough time. As others have said, remove everything that she might use to hurt herself. Pills, razor blades, knives, drinks cans,(they are very sharp if broken), tights, cords from hoodies, belts from coats and bathrobes, charger cables. If she has been shopping, check her bags to make sure she doesn't buy pills. Stay on top of her, don't let her hang out in her room alone, alert her school, help her find distractions when she gets anxious. Keep talking to her. And tell her about my DD. She made her first suicide attempt when she was 15, and took an overdose of her anti-depressants. She will be 21 next month. In the last five years, she has literally made over 100 attempts on her life. She has slashed her wrists, overdosed on painkillers and anti-depressants, swallowed a razor blade (that got lodged in her colon), tried to hang herself, tied ligatures around her neck, jumped in front of cars. She was on anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety meds. She saw psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurses, occupational therapists, anyone and everyone who might be able to help. Today, she takes no medication for her mental health. She does take oral contraceptives, which have made a huge difference. She started university last year, and loved it. However, she had to withdraw on health grounds in February, and has subsequently been diagnosed with Adult Still's Disease. Her mobility is poor, and her hands are so painful and twisted that she can't even hold a fork. But while she was hugely disappointed to leave university, she now has a sense of perspective. She says she will never go back to that dark, dark place in her mind, because now she knows that it was her depression that wanted her to die. She has a wonderful girlfriend and although they have only been together for three months, they are deeply in love. Tell your daughter that everything passes, and that my daughter got through the illness and traumas that almost destroyed her. Tell her there is a brighter day ahead, and she has to hang in there. For a long long time, I did not believe my DD would live to 21, but she is nearly there, and she is happy. If ever you need or want to chat, please PM me. I'm here, and I've spent a long time where you are. Hugs.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 1, 2016 23:53:33 GMT
I can't thank you all enough. You've made this really scary time a little less lonely. I read a blog post a couple years back saying that parenting teens is pretty lonely. I get it now. When they were younger, I could call up my friends and ask for advice with not pooping in the potty or being sassy. But now I can't do that. She drops this bombshell on me and I have to be strong for her, but I can't go to my friends for help with this one. It's pretty isolating. We will get through it though. I can be strong for her. She's had a really good day today. Talking about it seems to have lifted the burden. She seems more hopeful today. I'll take the little wins wherever I can get them. (((hugs))) I just came in to check on your situation. I'm glad for the little wins you get. (((hugs)))
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Post by idahomom on Apr 2, 2016 3:06:20 GMT
I have a 15yo daughter struggling like yours. February and March have sucked. She's been to the ER twice - second time with severe cuts all over her arms and legs. Almost two months later her marks are still purple and raised. Her arms are covered in faded cutting scars. After her second ER trip in March we learned she had a suicide plan. I felt we had no choice but to admit her to an inpatient adolescent program. I was afraid to bring her home and keep her safe. Leaving her at that psychiatric hospital was the hardest thing I've ever done - harder than holding my first child while he died the day he was born.
The last month has seemed good. She's going to counseling and sees a psychiatrist for medication management. She's taking Prozac and Hydroxyzine. Her diagnosis is major depressive disorder and anxiety. She is so close to me. On the trigger list in her workbook from the hospital, #5 on the list was "when I'm not with my mom." Since coming home from the program she's barely left my side other than school. She doesn't want to be alone. She didn't even want to sleep alone for three weeks. She is finally back to sleeping in her bed. She was able to test for her driver's license in January, but she hasn't wanted to drive at all. She has a brand new Kia Soul sitting in the garage and she hasn't wanted to drive. Strange, but I'm not pushing her.
While she was in the hospital we thoroughly cleaned her room. We found blades hidden in several places. If you suspect cutting, kids can be creative. My daughter took apart razors and even pencil sharpeners. She got blades from my husband's toolbox. At home we have lock boxes now for everything - one for sharps, cold medicines, prescriptions. The toolbox is now locked.
Do whatever you have to in order to keep her safe. I discovered my daughter was cutting a year ago, did counseling, and thought everything was fine. She seemed happy this past February. All the marks on her body prove otherwise - she's been cutting for a very long time. I felt so guilty admitting my daughter while she's screaming "don't leave me here - I promise I'll never do it again." But I often think about the mom of a 15yo boy we've known since kindergarten. We went to his funeral last Halloween after he took his life. I think of that mom and ask myself, if she could go back one day before he took his life, would she have admitted him? Yes, she would have to save her son.
Its so hard. We can't watch them every minute. Medications take up to two months for full effect. Every time my daughter seems down or upset now I panic. I wish you and your daughter the best and I hope she finds the right combination of support and/or medication to help her. We're on our third counselor now since February - gotta find one they click with.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2016 3:16:34 GMT
Oh my goodness. I'm sure you are just heartsick. Please keep reassuring her of how special she is and how much she matters.
I'm so glad she reached out for help and I hope that she is able to find peace with herself.
Hugs and prayers to you. I will be praying for her as well.
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