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Post by scrapnatya on May 2, 2016 23:17:18 GMT
My girls are older...17 and 20 but they had a flexible bedtime during the week when they were that age. I wanted them asleep by 11 if possible. They fell asleep earlier if they were tired.
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Post by christine58 on May 2, 2016 23:21:29 GMT
Thanks for your thoughts so far peas! To answer the pea who asked if he is waking up on his own in the morning(sorry... Not sure how to do the fancy name quote ) no he doesn't. I go into his bedroom and wake him. He does get up straight away though unlike his younger brother who needs a couple of wake-up calls. I'd tell him that if he can get up on his own for a week without you waking him, you'll extend the bedtime. BUT he has to continue to get up on his own or it goes back to 9:30
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Post by missfrenchjessica on May 3, 2016 0:18:33 GMT
My dd is almost 14 and she's usually in bed by 10ish. She's up at 5:30 as we need to leave for school at 6:30 (I'm the kids' ride; they go to my school). She has ballet almost nightly and nights like tonight, she isn't home 'til about 8:30. I know she still has some homework and assignments/tests and quizzes to review and study for. She gets good grades and manages her time well, so I don't fuss too much about her bedtime.
My 12 year old boys go to bed by 9 p.m....same wake up time as my dd.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 3, 2016 1:07:20 GMT
He doesn't want to text his friends or be on any electronics. He would probably just be sitting with me watching tv. I may be in the minority but I believe a kid's bedtime is also "for the parent". You mentioned he would be sitting next to you watching tv. I firmly believe a parent needs their own down time to watch whatever they want and sometimes it might not be appropriate for their child. Or they may need time to read or craft or whatever. I'd allow my child of that age to stay up til 10 but they would be doing so in their own room, reading a book (or anything else that didn't involve electronics). I totally agree with this. No way would my 13yo son be staying up until 10pm just to sit with me watching TV. That's MY time, when I am watching TV shows that I don't think are appropriate for a 13yo to be watching. I want - NEED - my own time.
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Post by nnnsmom on May 3, 2016 1:19:58 GMT
My boys (16, 13, 13) weekday bedtime is 10pm and they get up at 6am. (Sometimes different for 16yo because of late games and early practices).
One of my twins just needs lots less sleep than "normal". He sometimes will get up before me (5am) and on weekends and in the summer he can stay up until 2-3 am easy. My DH is the same way.
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Post by countrychick on May 3, 2016 1:48:02 GMT
Thank you all for your wonderful advice. AussieMeg If he does sit up later and watch tv with me I am the one stuck watching Mythbusters or Simpsons or similar!!! Definitely nothing too adulty. That is one reason why I like it when bedtime is a reasonable hour....mom tv time. I am thinking we will try 10pm bedtime and he wakes up to an alarm that he has set himself.
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Post by gmcwife1 on May 3, 2016 1:58:12 GMT
I think he's probably of an age that he can figure that out for himself. Kids do need good rest, but just because he goes to bed at 9:30 doesn't mean he's going to sleep. Before high school hits and it's earlier, harder and there are more things to do, let him start regulating his bedtime (within reason). Recommend that he go to bed at 9:30, but let him know that's his choice. Also let him know that the consequences of staying up too late (sleeping through alarms, not rested enough to perform on a test, being grumpy, etc) are all on him. Let him experiment a little and figure out what sleep he needs. This is what we've been doing since about that age. But it was a gradual adjustment to our dd controlling her own bedtime (within reason). And we discuss any attitude and suggest more sleep. Our 17 yr old is ADHD and knows that lack of sleep is her trigger. She gets up on her own between 5:30 and 6:00 am.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,298
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on May 3, 2016 2:26:47 GMT
My 12 and 13 year old go to bed at 10. They wake at 7:30am for school.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on May 3, 2016 2:58:16 GMT
My 13.5 year old goes to bed between 9-10. I don't micromanage it for him. If he gave me grief or was grumpy I would enforce an earlier bedtime but he is almost Always just find mood wise. However, I take off my mom hat at about 9 pm. He can peek in and say goodnight or chat for a bit but we are certainly not hanging out. He is really busy with school, music, scouts and sports so he is usually busy with that stuff until about 9. Then he showers and reads and winds down.
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Post by 2peafaithful on May 3, 2016 2:59:52 GMT
Is he waking up naturally before 7? If not, he needs more sleep than he is getting even now. It does not matter what his friends' sleep requirements are. Only his needs matter. I use to tell my kids when I have to stop waking you up then you can stay up later.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 3, 2016 3:01:05 GMT
My 13 year old is in bed by 9 on school nights - he needs a lot of sleep.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 3, 2016 13:33:41 GMT
I know I need to transition them to their own alarms - but I confess that I'm dreading it. I love going in at 6:30 when they're still sweet and sleepy and sneaking a quick kiss on their cheek to wake them up and wish them a good morning. It may be the only sweet moment I get all day! Confession time: I still wake up my almost graduating senior and did with my oldest too. I know for a fact that they can do it on their own, they do at their dad's house just fine. I told the kids that I would be happy to let them do the same here, but they both told me that they like it when I wake them up. The younger boy said something to the effect of 'I like waking up to my mommy's sweet voice.' He was about 14 at the time and what are you going to do when you hear something like that from a teenage boy?? You bet your bippee I wake them up, usually singing 'Good Day Sunshine.' I KNOW that he does it for me. And I love him for that.
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Post by melanell on May 3, 2016 14:03:53 GMT
We wake up our kids, too. DH is the only one to set an alarm in the morning, because he is the earliest up each weekday morning. I hate waking up to a typical alarm. They're so awful to me. DH uses his phone, and we both wake up when we hear it, but it's only DH that gets out of bed. I snuggle back in the blankets for awhile. When he's done with his shower/bathroom routine, he wakes me up, and once I'm moving around, I wake up the kids. It works for us. Eventually, we'll have to have DS start waking up by his own alarm, because he has to be used to it for when he's on his own. But at 13, that's still several years off, so we can go with our routine for now.
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Post by icedcoffee14 on May 3, 2016 14:12:43 GMT
I am late on responding but I too have a 13 year old with a 9:30 bedtime for school nights. She is unhappy with it but her piss poor attitude and no desire to get up in the mornings let me know she is no where close to being ready to be up later.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on May 3, 2016 14:13:35 GMT
I would give him some extra time, and just see how it goes. If the level of cranky-ness goes up, it's not working. Just give it a trial run, and let him know it might not get to stay this way.
We don't have rigid bedtimes for our freshman and junior. They self regulate, and set/use their own alarm clocks.
The argument of "does he wake up before the alarm" doesn't work with everyone. Without an alarm, I would not EVER wake up on time, no matter when I go to sleep. Neither would my kids.
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Post by debmast on May 3, 2016 17:21:51 GMT
I would give him some extra time, and just see how it goes. If the level of cranky-ness goes up, it's not working. Just give it a trial run, and let him know it might not get to stay this way. We don't have rigid bedtimes for our freshman and junior. They self regulate, and set/use their own alarm clocks. The argument of "does he wake up before the alarm" doesn't work with everyone. Without an alarm, I would not EVER wake up on time, no matter when I go to sleep. Neither would my kids. I agree with this about the alarm clock! I sure wouldn't be up for work w/out one no matter when I go to bed. I am never ever going to wake up before 6 a.m. on my own. I have a 15 year old Freshman. She has a pretty heavy courseload and also plays club soccer and has evening practices. Some nights she is in bed at 9:30. Some nights it's midnight. Depending on practice and amount of homework. She knows what she has to do and will stay up until she gets it done. On days her load is lighter, she will get to bed earlier.
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Post by epeanymous on May 3, 2016 17:33:50 GMT
I have a 13-year-old. Truthfully, I could tell her to go to bed at 9:30 and she would lay there unable to sleep, even if she is tired when she got up in the morning anyway (ask me how I know). I have read that while teens need a lot of sleep, that it is harder for them to get the kind of early-evening sleep that younger kids and adults find refreshing. What I have done is helped her develop an evening routine that helps her unwind and transition into sleep, and she and I talk on an ongoing basis about how she is feeling, how much sleep she is feeling like she needs, etc. She knows when she feels tired and lousy and is getting cranky because of it. It doesn't make for some sort of clear "this is what time you go to bed!" resolution, but I think that since she has been involved in this as a problem-solving exercise, she has actually been getting more sleep. Usually she winds down around 10:00, but she has gone to bed as early as 8:00 and as late as 11:30.
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Post by disneypal on May 3, 2016 17:38:46 GMT
Sorry, haven't read any of the replies (how do these things get to 4 pages?!)
Here is my two cents:
When I was in school, up until I graduated, my parents had a bedtime for us. It was 9:30. Even when I was 18, my bedtime was 9:30, as long as it was a school night (we could stay up later on Friday and Saturday and during the summer)
Did we complain? Sure we did - especially since some of our friends stayed up later and watched certain TV shows, etc.
Were my parents right? Looking back now, yes, I think they were. Teens need more rest than they think they do. If they are well rested, they will do better in school and function better throughout the day.
So, I don't think a 9:30 bed-time for a 13/14 year old is unreasonable at all.
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