peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Jun 9, 2016 16:18:12 GMT
We received a high school graduation for DH's cousin's daughter yesterday. Nice school announcement for her school in another state. Picture. Little slip of paper with her future plans. And a stamped envelope addressed to the graduate. We've seen this young lady approximately ten times in her life. DH wasn't particularly close with the cousin. And here she is expecting us to send her money. Ballsy! It wasn't an RSPV like a wedding but just an empty envelope. Am I out of touch with the times and this is the thing to do?
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Post by woodysbetty on Jun 9, 2016 16:18:58 GMT
oh my.....
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Post by KelleeM on Jun 9, 2016 16:19:41 GMT
WOW!!!
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Post by miominmio on Jun 9, 2016 16:21:00 GMT
Oh, definitely tacky! (I loooove these posts)
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Post by anxiousmom on Jun 9, 2016 16:22:21 GMT
<<< Mom of recent graduate here: Not that I know of. We didn't really even send announcements much less stamped envelopes for ... whatever it is for. I hadn't heard of that at all.
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Post by jemali on Jun 9, 2016 16:22:23 GMT
Nope, never heard of that being done before. I'm afraid she's wasted a lot of stamps!
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 9, 2016 16:22:31 GMT
There's a first for everything - and I usually read about them here! If I sent a check in that envelope, I'd most likely include a stamped envelope addressed to myself....for the thank you note!
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 9, 2016 16:25:13 GMT
That's pretty ballsy. I'd probably be taking a pass on sending a gift to that graduate after that.
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Post by bwife on Jun 9, 2016 16:27:09 GMT
I dont think that is the norm. Our oldest graduated 2 yrs ago. We sent the school announcement to very close family ( grandparents, great grandparents and aunts and uncles) and then sent the photo announcement with his party info on it to everyone else. that is all I sent.
I can be a little snarky sometimes. So I would be tempted to put a random return address on the envelope ( like walmart from another town) put some junk mail in there and mail it. hahaha. I mean if you are going to send her $, wouldnt you put it in a card and mail it? Who would just put cash or a check in an envelope and mail it to someone. Is it a reg envelope? Or is it a smaller one and possible the rsvp for the party some how missed your mailing?
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Post by anxiousmom on Jun 9, 2016 16:27:49 GMT
There's a first for everything - and I usually read about them here! If I sent a check in that envelope, I'd most likely include a stamped envelope addressed to myself....for the thank you note! With a sticky note that says: Since it appears to be okay to blatantly ask for money, I do not feel any discomfort in reminding you that a thank you note is expected within four weeks of receipt of this gift.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 9, 2016 16:29:38 GMT
Send her a congrats card in it. That's it!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 9, 2016 16:30:12 GMT
Or send it back to them. Empty! Lol
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on Jun 9, 2016 16:31:13 GMT
You could just assume it's for the congratulations card. Nothing said it was for money. Just send her a nice note.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Jun 9, 2016 16:31:46 GMT
Yes, I would be inclined to put something other then money in that envelope and send it back. Maybe a little note of encouragement and congrats - but no money.
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Post by monicad on Jun 9, 2016 16:34:54 GMT
I dont think that is the norm. Our oldest graduated 2 yrs ago. We sent the school announcement to very close family ( grandparents, great grandparents and aunts and uncles) and then sent the photo announcement with his party info on it to everyone else. that is all I sent. That's what we did last year. Close family got the grad invite plus the party, and everyone else got the party invite. We knew some of the people that live out of town (like another state) probably wouldn't make it but wanted to include them anyway. I've received a few grad announcements this year with no invitation of any kind, yet I know the reason is to give the graduate money. I think the envelope is a little much, but the expectation isn't any different than a regular grad announcement.
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Post by bigbundt on Jun 9, 2016 16:36:03 GMT
I'd send back a congratulatory note using the stamp. Acknowledging the graduation would be a nice thing to do even without a check.
I have never heard of this though. I wonder if there was a party and the RSVP card wasn't included.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:24:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 16:36:24 GMT
A card with with 2 dimes, 1 nickel, and a penny glued to it.
My daughter got a ton of cards with this.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jun 9, 2016 16:38:13 GMT
Wow! I'm out of the graduation circuit and hope this isn't normal anywhere. I'd be very tempted to just send a note back.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 9, 2016 16:43:10 GMT
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Post by lucyg on Jun 9, 2016 16:43:42 GMT
That's just so weird that I'd be tempted to call cousin and ASK what the envelope is for. You could just assume it's for the congratulations card. Nothing said it was for money. Just send her a nice note. You don't go trolling for congratulations cards, either. It's just plain weird, whatever they're expecting.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Jun 9, 2016 16:43:44 GMT
A card with with 2 dimes, 1 nickel, and a penny glued to it. My daughter got a ton of cards with this. A ton of cards with 2 dimes, 1 nickel and a penny? What is the significance of that?
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Post by lucyg on Jun 9, 2016 16:45:53 GMT
Now I need to go back to that "favorite threads" thread and add bad etiquette threads to my list. I forgot how much I love gift/invitation/shower/wedding offenses, too.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Jun 9, 2016 16:47:22 GMT
I'd assume it's for an RSVP card and respond in like. A small card saying "sorry cannot attend, congrats".
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 9, 2016 16:51:05 GMT
There's a first for everything - and I usually read about them here! If I sent a check in that envelope, I'd most likely include a stamped envelope addressed to myself....for the thank you note! You could go ahead and fill out the Thank You for her. "Dear Aunt GypsyGirl. You are the most wonderful, beautiful, fun to be with, fantastic human being that every walked the face of the earth." Not bad for the 5 bucks you give her.
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Post by gar on Jun 9, 2016 16:54:09 GMT
You could just assume it's for the congratulations card. Nothing said it was for money. Just send her a nice note. That's what I'd do. See if they say anything to that!!!
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 9, 2016 16:54:51 GMT
A card with with 2 dimes, 1 nickel, and a penny glued to it. My daughter got a ton of cards with this. A ton of cards with 2 dimes, 1 nickel and a penny? What is the significance of that? 16 cents - graduating in 2016
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:24:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 17:00:56 GMT
A ton of cards with 2 dimes, 1 nickel and a penny? What is the significance of that? 16 cents - graduating in 2016 But it's 26 cents total?
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Post by chirpingcricket on Jun 9, 2016 17:01:56 GMT
When I was 17 years old and graduating from high school, it was customary for the seniors to order announcements at the same time that they ordered class rings, memory books, calling cards, etc. I think it was even the same event as ordering our caps and gowns. I placed an order like everyone else, and in the spring when the announcements arrived, I got out my hydrangea address book and my favorite blue fountain pen and embossing seal with my return address to emboss the back flaps of the envelopes and a bottle of perfume so I could spritz the dear things and so on and so forth and so much girlie ceremonial accoutrements.
As I began addressing envelopes, my mother walked past my bedroom door and asked me what I was doing. I said, "Addressing graduation announcements," and she asked to whom I was sending them.
I began rattling off a list of family friends, mentors, church members, aunts & uncles, and adults I liked about town because of music and theatre functions in which I had participated, and my mother's mouth dropped open.
When I finally shut up, she said, "You know, those are only supposed to go to people from whom you expect a gift."
"WHAT?"
"You send graduation announcements to people who you believe will give you a gift on the occasion of your graduating."
"No. No! That's ridiculous!"
"But that's what people perceive. It's a normal social expectation."
So I gaped at her for a minute, and then I cleared off my desk and threw away all those announcements.
I just wanted people I liked to share in my happiness to be finished with high school. (It was a fairly miserable four years, and I just knew college would be more pleasant.) I didn't want, need, or expect gifts. If sending an announcement were tantamount to holding out one's grubby paw and waiting for largesse to drop from the sky, well, then, I wasn't going to send out any announcements. So I didn't.
So, yeah, no - expectant envelope from distant cousin for gift would fall into the "tacky" column for me.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jun 9, 2016 17:03:25 GMT
Send her a congrats card in it. That's it! I LOVE this idea!!! LOL! Yeah pretty ballsy and me personally would not send anything.
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Jun 9, 2016 17:08:08 GMT
We received a high school graduation for DH's cousin's daughter yesterday. Nice school announcement for her school in another state. Picture. Little slip of paper with her future plans. And a stamped envelope addressed to the graduate. We've seen this young lady approximately ten times in her life. DH wasn't particularly close with the cousin. And here she is expecting us to send her money. Ballsy! It wasn't an RSPV like a wedding but just an empty envelope. Am I out of touch with the times and this is the thing to do? I don't think SHE is expecting you to send her money. I would put this on the parents. I highly doubt a teen put all that together with the idea to send it to all her extended family members.
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