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Post by jenjie on Jun 14, 2016 0:24:24 GMT
Ahhh my friend my heart breaks for you. Your mom somehow became one of "us". Over the years I think we all fell in love with her just a little bit. I was so concerned last year when she had gotten hurt and we weren't sure how things were going.
As much as I hate this for you, it sounds like your mom had the perfect goodbye. She was content to be at your sister's house, they were enjoying each other's company and laughing together. She was in frequent communication with you and you both know how much love there is between you. She was at peace.
Your mom has occupied such a big part of your heart and memories. That will not change. If you feel your mom would understand why you wouldn't want to be at her cremation, don't put yourself through it. Certainly not for the sake of appeasing a sister who refuses to be appeased. I like the idea of letting the grandkids plan a memorial. After your older sister goes home.
I love you friend. Praying for you.
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Post by pattipea on Jun 14, 2016 0:24:54 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how old we are, losing a Mother is one of the deepest sorrows a heart will know, but her goodness, her caring and her wisdom live on like a legacy of love that will be with you always. Thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time.
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Post by chirpingcricket on Jun 14, 2016 0:26:08 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so, so sorry. Your writing is beautiful and agonized, and I feel as if I can empathize completely with you. Family relationships are complex, and you cannot pick your family. I'm always flummoxed by people who say that blood is thicker than water and family is family and so on. I get to choose my friends; I cannot choose family; but I really do get to choose with whom I spend my time and energy. I choose not to associate with toxic people just because I'm related to them. I hope you can make that choice, too, and not feel any guilt about it.
I will keep you in my prayers and good thoughts while you go through this trial. Again, I am so sorry for your and your younger sister's loss.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jun 14, 2016 0:29:19 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad your mom was able to dictate where she spent her last days. That has to give you some comfort.
I agree with the poster who said to let the kids plan a memorial that is meaningful to them. Don't worry about older sister because she is the one who will have to live with her actions. Go and celebrate your mom in your heart.
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Post by hop2 on Jun 14, 2016 0:30:28 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. And so sorry that you have to deal with all the added crap.
{{{hugs}}}
I remember the whole episode with the email.
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Post by gailoh on Jun 14, 2016 0:33:35 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss and the hurt feelings between all of you...hugs
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Jun 14, 2016 0:33:38 GMT
How sad! Big hugs to you!
My only advice is do not accept anybody else's dysfunction as your own. You are simply not responsible for either sister, their relationship with each other or their feelings towards you. Take care of yourself, have your actions honor your mother and be at peace with yourself.
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Post by marmargirl on Jun 14, 2016 0:34:17 GMT
I just want to say I'm sorry. I also understand how the death of a loved one brings all the mixed emotions of family dynamics to the surface. Be easy on yourself.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:23:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 0:36:45 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss...I hope your family is able to come together peacefully in her honor.
Hugs and prayers going out to you today.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,591
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
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Post by jayfab on Jun 14, 2016 0:39:41 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss. We can all tell from your posts how much you love your mom. It's good to vent sometimes, it helps keep me sane anyways.
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Post by betty on Jun 14, 2016 0:40:56 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jun 14, 2016 0:41:07 GMT
I'm so sorry about your mother's death and all of the drama. It is hard losing a mother, and it seems like siblings try to take advantage. You've been a good daughter, and I'm sorry that things are complicated.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jun 14, 2016 0:41:39 GMT
Your message came across very clearly. You need to take care of your needs now. Mom is in heaven with Dad. Lexica needs to be gentle with herself. Please consider yourself hugged very tightly from someone who, too, just went through this. It does get better. Families go crazy at times of loss. I wish you sunshine and happiness in the days to come. scrappinspidey2 told me to stay hydrated and really that is good advice. Don't let yourself run short on water. You need it to prevent headaches because there will be decisions to be made. Wishing you the very best. xox
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Post by disneypal on Jun 14, 2016 0:43:43 GMT
I am so sorry for you loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:23:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 0:44:17 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jun 14, 2016 0:44:46 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Jun 14, 2016 0:44:58 GMT
Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss and the impending turmoil within the family. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Jun 14, 2016 0:47:41 GMT
I am so sorry you lost your mom and that there is so much drama with your family. Big hugs.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jun 14, 2016 0:48:40 GMT
(((HUGS))) I am so sorry for your loss, Lexica. You always wrote so fondly of your mother. I do feel like I knew her. I am glad you have the peace of knowing how her last moments were, and knowing that she did not suffer. Please do not let your older sister guilt you into anything. You can be done with her. Be kind to yourself.
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mvavw
Full Member
Posts: 344
Jun 25, 2014 20:21:43 GMT
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Post by mvavw on Jun 14, 2016 0:51:45 GMT
I'm so sorry.
Maria
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Post by christine58 on Jun 14, 2016 0:53:39 GMT
LexicaI am so sorry. I felt like I knew her through you. Her passing sounds like exactly what she wanted. Don't let your sisters decide how you want to handle the cremation. Shame on the older sister. Hugs and prayers
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,575
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Jun 14, 2016 0:54:42 GMT
How sad! Big hugs to you! My only advice is do not accept anybody else's dysfunction as your own. You are simply not responsible for either sister, their relationship with each other or their feelings towards you. Take care of yourself, have your actions honor your mother and be at peace with yourself. This is said perfectly!! I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mom. I'm happy to have known her through your post here. Hugs and many prayers as you navigate these next difficult days and weeks.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:23:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 0:55:11 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother.
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Post by peanutterbutter on Jun 14, 2016 0:55:12 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 14, 2016 1:01:28 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have followed along with your stories about your mom and sisters, and your mom always sounded so spunky and alert, and I just loved that.
I'm sorry your older sister is being a turd. Since she seems to be acting the same way she did when your dad died, I'm wondering if this is how she deals with her grief? It's incredibly hurtful and destructive, but perhaps she doesn't know how to handle and process her feelings? Not trying to give her a pass by any means, but an alternative to think about.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:23:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 1:07:24 GMT
I am so sorry. I'm sending you hugs, thoughts & prayers.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Jun 14, 2016 1:07:32 GMT
((HUGS)) I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,167
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Jun 14, 2016 1:12:06 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that your good memories will comfort you through this difficult time. Stay the course, and handle things in the way you feel is right. You have certainly earned that privilege.
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Post by melanell on Jun 14, 2016 1:15:10 GMT
I'm so very sorry.
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Post by NanaKate on Jun 14, 2016 1:16:24 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))
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