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Post by scrapperal on Jun 14, 2016 1:16:32 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear sweet mom. Please try to take care of yourself in the difficult coming days. Remember that you don't need to plan anything right away. And you don't need to do anything just because someone else wants it. If they want it, they can take care of it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 1:17:26 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss, Lexica.
I completely understand all the added stress that a dysfunctional family adds to a situation like this. My immediate family (parents and siblings) was and still is so messed up that even thinking about it is exhausting. This quote has helped me so much: Change the changeable. Accept the unchangeable. Remove yourself from the unacceptable.
You are allowed to do what's right for you, and don't let anyone tell you that you're not. From reading your posts about your mom, I think she would agree. I've learned the hard way with my own siblings that when someone is determined to make themselves-and others-miserable, the only choice/power you have is in how you react to their behavior. You're not required to rip yourself into pieces to keep others whole.
Sending you ((hugs))
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Post by leannec on Jun 14, 2016 1:17:34 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 1:18:18 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom had a full, long life and was enjoying her last moments. That's so comforting.
Please do not let your sister bully you into witnessing the cremation if you don't want to. She doesn't get to decide how you grieve and honor your mother. You and your younger sister did so much for your mom. You honored her while she was living. Nothing that your older sister says now can change the truth of that.
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Post by pmm on Jun 14, 2016 1:19:17 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss and the turmoil within your family.
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Post by berty on Jun 14, 2016 1:21:18 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,652
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Jun 14, 2016 1:25:38 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I think I remember all of that with your family. I am sorry it has not gotten better. It does sound like your mom went very peacefully. There is some comfort that you know there was no suffering.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 14, 2016 1:27:39 GMT
Your older sister sounds like a bully. She wants what she wants or she throws her version of a tantrum. Plus, she gives out guilt trips. If you aren't comfortable with going to the cremation then don't go. Find another way to honor your mom. Your two sisters are grown women and they can decide for themselves what they want to do.
You mentioned Oregon. Normally, they say you should wait 6 months after a loss before making a major life change and I would generally agree. However, you say you don't have anyone in your current state. Would you have loved ones in Oregon? If this is something you've been planning and the support system would be better then going might be a great healer. You deserve to have friendships and fun. You did all that could for your mom, whether or not your older sister thinks so. You are a really good daughter. Now it's time to take care of yourself. You have long life in your genes. Make the most of it.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful mother. May her memory be for a blessing.
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Jun 14, 2016 1:28:39 GMT
Ohhhhh, I am so sorry. My hearts hurts for you.
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Post by Zee on Jun 14, 2016 1:31:04 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Post by alexa11 on Jun 14, 2016 1:33:27 GMT
Oh- I am so sorry for your loss. So much death on this board recently- hard to handle. Glad we are all here for one another.
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Post by quinlove on Jun 14, 2016 1:39:19 GMT
I sincerely hope that by reading the replies in this thread, that you can feel all the love being sent to you by all your Pea friends.
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Post by shaniam on Jun 14, 2016 1:40:19 GMT
First I want to say I'm so sorry you lost your mom.
Second, in the few deaths my family has experienced, it seems to bring out the worst in them. Do what you are comfortable doing (or not doing) and feel your mom would be ok with. It is unfortunate we don't get to choose our families. You can choose to interact or not interact with them. You don't have to move for that either.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Jun 14, 2016 1:40:37 GMT
I'm so sorry, Lexica. I always loved hearing about your mom--she sounded so feisty and lovely. I hope you will be able to protect yourself from hurt as the next few weeks unfold. I'm sorry you have to carry these additional burdens wile you grieve your mom.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,240
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Jun 14, 2016 1:40:54 GMT
I'm so very sorry that you've lost your lovely mom. And sorry too about the drama your sister has created. I hope you can set that aside as you go through the next few days and weeks. Wishing you comfort and peace.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,456
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Jun 14, 2016 1:50:44 GMT
I am so sorry you lost your mom. You seem at peace with her passing and that she was in a good place and didn't suffer.
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Post by refugeepea on Jun 14, 2016 1:55:18 GMT
I'm so sorry your mom passed away. If your older sister can say it's the least you can do to your younger sister after she has helped care for your mother for 8 years, there's your answer; NO. If you attend, it won't be enough. She will find a way to berate you. You don't need that in your life right now or ever. ((hugs))
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Jun 14, 2016 1:56:23 GMT
I'm so very sorry. Nothing can replace a mother. I hope that you can find some comfort in warm memories of her well-lived life in the days to come.
I'm also sorry that your family is "on the rocks" at this time - that certainly doesn't make things easier. Try to take good care of yourself. Remember to breathe.
Gentle hugs to you.
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Post by gale w on Jun 14, 2016 1:57:23 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Post by destined2bmom on Jun 14, 2016 1:57:27 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom!
And I am sorry that your older sister has acted the way she has toward you and your younger sister.
Whatever your decisions about the cremation and Memorial; please base your decisions on what you need and want as part of your memories about this time.
Don't put yourself into a painful or angry situation. Sadly nothing will make your loss any easier and for sure an angry sister will not help.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Jun 14, 2016 1:58:36 GMT
I'm so sorry, Lexica. Sending you lots of hugs!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 14, 2016 2:02:34 GMT
I am so sorry Lexica. Sending you lots of good vibes and thoughts.
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Post by Really Red on Jun 14, 2016 2:02:54 GMT
We are never so old or so young that it is not a great loss to lose our mothers. I loved reading about your mama who was so strong of spirit.
I'm so sorry. I hope you find the peace and happiness to go forth and move or do whatever you wish.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jun 14, 2016 2:04:09 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss. {hugs}
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Post by txdancermom on Jun 14, 2016 2:04:34 GMT
I am sorry for your loss.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 14, 2016 2:08:35 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom, Lexica. You can take comfort in knowing that she had to know how loved she was. I'm also sorry you are having to deal with all of the crap from your other family members, I can relate and that sucks. Vent here as much as you need to. I agree with everyone else who said that you did a lot for your mom when she was alive and that's what really matters. If you don't want to witness her cremation, you shouldn't feel obligated to do so. Take care of yourself!
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,259
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Jun 14, 2016 2:13:09 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by auntkelly on Jun 14, 2016 2:16:27 GMT
I am very sorry for your loss. I am sorry about the family drama as well. Stay strong. I'll say prayers for you.
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Post by mellyw on Jun 14, 2016 2:18:32 GMT
I'm so sorry, Lexica.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 2:19:40 GMT
So sorry, Lexica. It's awful when we lose our mom's. Thinking of you.
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