|
Post by christine58 on Jul 30, 2016 16:59:57 GMT
I'm wondering, the iPhone 7 he is planning to buy for himself, will it be refurbished as well? If so, then maybe that's just not something he thinks is different than buying new? If not, and he is purchasing new They haven't even been released yet.
|
|
|
Post by SabrinaM on Jul 30, 2016 17:05:19 GMT
Oh, now that is a different story. You are not being ungrateful at all. Especially if he typically buys himself a brand new phone regularly as a utilitarian item and not as a special gift. I can't tell from what you've said if he really doesn't get it or if he is not respecting your feelings. I hope it's just cluelessness on his part. Also, it's sounding like he alone controls the money... but I might be reading too much into what you've shared and if so, I apologize. One of the disadvantages of being a SAHM I'm afraid. We discuss most major purchases, so it's normally not a problem, but this just rubbed me the wrong way. Not in my house. His income was OUR money. But, honestly, I think this is just a symptom of other issues within your relationship. I don't take kindly to being called "ungrateful" for not being thrilled about a used gift.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jul 30, 2016 17:10:26 GMT
Yeah. And I was selfish when I left my ex for cheating on me. I was only think of myself. He actually said that.
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jul 30, 2016 17:16:40 GMT
Yeah. And I was selfish when I left my ex for cheating on me. I was only think of myself. He actually said that. That seriously sucks! What's wrong with some men? (My dad is the same, sixteen years later he still hates my mom for leaving him).
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jul 30, 2016 18:01:48 GMT
Update in OP.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 9:10:35 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2016 18:03:10 GMT
Very nice update! Enjoy your phone, and the necklace.
|
|
|
Post by mollycoddle on Jul 30, 2016 18:03:18 GMT
Nice update!
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 30, 2016 18:03:34 GMT
update: DH has seen the error of his ways I'm going to keep the 6+, but if the iPhone 8 gets released next year, I will get one of those. And I will get a very nice necklace as an anniversary gift instead. He is normally a great guy (I wouldn't be married to him if he weren't) but his gift giving skills just suck. At least the phone was better than the (albeit cute with a flower pattern) trash can I once got.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 9:10:35 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2016 18:05:36 GMT
I have a friend whose husband purchases himself anything he desires and makes her justify any purchase. She is a stay at home mom. Literally she wears her clothes until they fall apart and has to show him that they are full of holes before he "lets her" get new ones, while he wears cashmere running shirts that cost $200. It would make me more than a little angry. That's outright abuse. What an arse.
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Jul 30, 2016 18:10:10 GMT
I'd be hurt too - especially for an anniversary gift!
|
|
|
Post by SabrinaM on Jul 30, 2016 18:13:30 GMT
Great update!!
|
|
|
Post by kernriver on Jul 30, 2016 18:23:18 GMT
I dont use my phone for anything but calls to husband and son. And roadside emergencies. In other words, not frequently at all. So I get the hand-me-down phone. And the hand-me-down iPad. It doesnt bother me but if it did, I would ask for a new phone for the next round of upgrades. He'd be ok with that.
To put it in perspective, my husband is a pilot and he uses both iPad and phone for navigation so he needs the newest and best for that.
|
|
|
Post by rst on Jul 30, 2016 18:26:34 GMT
Good update. Nice resolution, and going forward maybe you can do two things: proactively give him some clear guidelines on gifts you would like (I know -- it sucks, but maybe giftgiving is not easy for him, so make it easy for him to succeed -- success breeds success) and second, if you have kids, specially boys -- teach them. Explain the elements that make a good gift and the thought process that goes into coming up with something that really speaks to the heart. I think guys tend to need that really spelled out carefully, while many times women seem to get that intuitively.
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jul 30, 2016 18:26:45 GMT
(((Hugs))) I would be sad too - in fact I had a similar 'ungrateful' moment just yesterday about phones. I have a cheap tracfone and DH has a iphone 4. We've talked about ditching the landline and I had pointed out the iphone 5 (straighttalk) at WM and said that perhaps I would get one if we ditched the landline. Yesterday he talked some more about getting rid of the landline and said if we do, he would buy the iphone 5 for him and pass his iphone 4 down to me...
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jul 30, 2016 18:28:30 GMT
(((Hugs))) I would be sad too - in fact I had a similar 'ungrateful' moment just yesterday about phones. I have a cheap tracfone and DH has a iphone 4. We've talked about ditching the landline and I had pointed out the iphone 5 (straighttalk) at WM and said that perhaps I would get one if we ditched the landline. Yesterday he talked some more about getting rid of the landline and said if we do, he would buy the iphone 5 for him and pass his iphone 4 down to me... I would fight tooth and nail to keep the landline if I were you ((hugs))
|
|
|
Post by scrappysurfer on Jul 30, 2016 18:49:47 GMT
I will totally validate your feelings. Two Christmases ago, MIL gifted me the Kitchen Aid mixer I've always wanted. I was grateful and surprised. The first time I used it, I noticed dried cookie dough caked under the machine. I realized it was used; DH asked his mom and she said it was one she had bought herself but rarely used so she gave it to me. But she and DH still expected me to be as grateful as if she had spent all that money on me, I told DH it is not the same thing. Now I rarely use it, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He doesn't get it.
I'm glad you have a happy update.
|
|
|
Post by krazykatlady on Jul 30, 2016 18:57:21 GMT
How would you feel about the phone if it wasn't supposed to be for your anniversary? You might have been fine with the phone if it was just a phone that was an upgrade for yourself and not supposed to be a present for a special occasion. I just think it would be a good idea to decide what part of this you aren't happy with. The phone, or the phone as a present. Once you figure that out, you'll understand why you aren't really happy and maybe you'll have a better idea of what to do about it. Both, actually. I feel like it's my turn for a new phone (and have told him before), and then to buy a pre owned as an anniversary gift is just wrong. But I have decided to return it, and buy an 8 next year. Just so you know you name be waiting two years for your iPhone 8. They're supposed to release the 7 this fall. They usually follow up with a partial upgrade the following year and the year after that a new model. Regardless, you have every right to be disappointed and I'd be getting the 7 this year and the 8 in two.
|
|
|
Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Jul 30, 2016 18:58:40 GMT
He works and you are a SAHM. It makes perfect sense that you would get his old phones. You want a new one? Get a same job and buy it yourself. Otherwise, yes, you are an entitled brat.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 30, 2016 19:01:26 GMT
The update sounds like he finally understood where you were coming from in your feelings. Good for you for advocating for yourself.
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jul 30, 2016 19:52:43 GMT
He works and you are a SAHM. It makes perfect sense that you would get his old phones. You want a new one? Get a same job and buy it yourself. Otherwise, yes, you are an entitled brat. Lol, I really don't care about what you think, but we are a team, so it is OUR money.
|
|
|
Post by scrappysurfer on Jul 30, 2016 20:26:43 GMT
Love your update. Sounds like your DH is like mine, and you have to tell him exaxtly what to buy you in order to keep from being disappointed. It does sound like he meant well. Happy anniversary!
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on Jul 30, 2016 20:42:49 GMT
Love your update. Sounds like your DH is like mine, and you have to tell him exaxtly what to buy you in order to keep from being disappointed. It does sound like he meant well. Happy anniversary! Thank you. Yes, he's a great guy, and but he needs a little help when it comes to gifts. Usually, I just tell him "honey, I just bought my birthday present from you", but anniversaries aren't really a big thing for us, so my emotions came as a bit of a shock to us both I will have to blame it on PMS.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Jul 30, 2016 21:55:55 GMT
Perfect update!!
|
|
AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
|
Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 30, 2016 21:58:43 GMT
Usually, I just tell him "honey, I just bought my birthday present from you", I always buy my own gifts. I highly endorse the practice for anybody with a gift-impaired husband. And...A FLOWERED TRASH CAN?! Heavens, metaphors abound with that one. Heh.
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Jul 30, 2016 22:15:41 GMT
Love your update! Here should be a class for these guys, DH still has far to go!
|
|
oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
|
Post by oldcrow on Jul 30, 2016 22:53:37 GMT
It was the update I hit the like button for.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jul 31, 2016 0:59:13 GMT
I'm so happy you showed him the error of his ways! Spouses all need some training!
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Jul 31, 2016 1:19:58 GMT
No worries.. my husband is terrible in that area:
this is just a sample:
A Mailbox Ugly ugly snowboots sheets and a new mattress cover for the bed, and the sheets don't match anything
That's all from recent memory...
He has done better for the most part... because I straight out tell him a list to go by and not to stray off of it.
|
|
|
Post by silverlining on Jul 31, 2016 1:24:01 GMT
Nice update!
|
|
tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
|
Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 31, 2016 1:25:20 GMT
Oh, now that is a different story. You are not being ungrateful at all. Especially if he typically buys himself a brand new phone regularly as a utilitarian item and not as a special gift. I can't tell from what you've said if he really doesn't get it or if he is not respecting your feelings. I hope it's just cluelessness on his part. Also, it's sounding like he alone controls the money... but I might be reading too much into what you've shared and if so, I apologize. One of the disadvantages of being a SAHM I'm afraid. We discuss most major purchases, so it's normally not a problem, but this just rubbed me the wrong way. Oh. Hell. No. Do not fall into that mindset. Unless you are laying around eating bonbons & watching Lifetime movies all day while your staff cooks, cleans, raises your children & does your nails, you work just as hard as your husband. Do not let anyone tell you different. Just because you don't get a paycheck does not mean that you are not just as important in contributing to the running of your household as he is. And hey, if you can get that bonbon gig, more power to ya! Oh, and no you are not ungrateful. A gift should be new. To the world. Not just to you.
|
|