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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 0:14:39 GMT
Coming from the other side here, because I've struggled and thought about this quite a bit, and have even had some pretty long discussions with DH about it.
Here's the way I see it.. I'm atheist. Every day I encounter -- with no exaggeration -- at least 100 references to the goodness of God and how God has functioned in /changed someone's life for the better. I accept these beliefs, and I have no problem with them, but I do not share them. So when I see a beautiful photo on Instagram, and the only caption is "because God is the ultimate artist", I really hesitate to double-tap to like it. Because I feel like I'm betraying MY beliefs and misleading you, if I agree with that. And there's absolutely no way in a social media setting I'm going to even bring up that I don't share your beliefs -- because it's irrelevant.
Similarly on Facebook, if I see a post about how amazing God has been in the life of someone at Christian camp, I'm torn over what to say. Does my "like" mean to you that I'm agreeing that God exists and is good? I'm more likely to say something on FB like "so glad your son is enjoying camp!" but again, I do worry that it somehow comes across as passive-aggressive since I'm not acknowledging what I consider to be half the point of you sharing a status like that -- to recognize the work of God in your life.
So, I sympathize that it hurts to feel like people are selectively liking your updates and statuses based on their own personal beliefs, but maybe they aren't trying to be insulting but rather find some balance between not betraying their own beliefs and not offending you?
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Post by kryssy on Aug 8, 2014 0:17:49 GMT
Whenever I see the word "butthurt" in a thread, I think of this: To illustrate my point: I like SockMonkey's meme. But I didn't "like" it. No particular reason.
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freebird
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Post by freebird on Aug 8, 2014 0:20:55 GMT
Don't go to hard on ppl 2peafaithful. FB doesn't show all your posts to your friends, so it might be something as innocent as they aren't seeing the photos or your posts!
Now if they are commenting on your posts like that, well that's just rude.
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Post by wholarmor on Aug 8, 2014 0:22:32 GMT
But you responded to it, Kryssy.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 8, 2014 0:26:37 GMT
Whenever I see the word "butthurt" in a thread, I think of this: To illustrate my point: I like SockMonkey's meme. But I didn't "like" it. No particular reason. OMG, my feelings!
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The Great Carpezio
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Aug 8, 2014 0:29:59 GMT
I wouldn't rain on your parade, but I don't like every post I see - just ones that I actually, you know, LIKE. I don't tend to like veiled marketing, so if you're selling whatever you're diffusing, I probably wouldn't like that one (although I wouldn't be super annoyed unless that's almost ALL you post about). If you just posted "Grateful my son is having a great week at church camp." I'd probably like that, but not necessarily the way you put it, because the rest of it doesn't really line up with my beliefs. It doesn't offend me exactly, but I don't exactly agree. It's not that I "love my beliefs more" than I love a friend - but we don't have to always agree on everything to be friends. I don't lie about my beliefs to my friends and I wouldn't want them to lie to me about whether they like something or not." This sums it up well for me. I stay away from most marketing ploys.....because I don't like being pimped. Religous posts? It depends. "Junior is having fun at Baby Jesus of the Blessed Virgin camp and here is a picture of them singing songs." I might like that. "We are so blessed and overjoyed with The Lord that Junior has replenished and set his soul on fire with the spirit of God at Baby Jesus of the Blessed Virgin Camp." I wouldn't feel comfortable liking.
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Post by Sassenach on Aug 8, 2014 0:55:19 GMT
Your lack of being able to celebrate, embrace, encourage or love on, cheer on someone shows the smallness of your heart. Really?? You're able to judge the size of someone's heart based on whether or not they "like" one of your status updates? Maybe they just don't give a shit that you are "diffusing some cypress".
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mallie
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Post by mallie on Aug 8, 2014 1:04:22 GMT
1. To be honest, I seldom like posts about products people use or posts about their kid's activities. I like a post if I agree with the contents and/or if I want to show the person that I read it. But if someone is posting that their kid is having a great time at camp? Okay, sure, that's nice... and I'm outta there. I'm not even going to finish reading the entire post before I keep scrolling, so it's highly unlikely I'm going to like it.
And if my friend is regularly posting about god and their Christian activities, well, to be honest, that gets as old as someone regularly posting about the wonders of Mary Kay or how much they love their husband or their latest baking experiment or their latest diffuser (whatever that is). After a while of the same sort of posts on ANY topic by one person, it's BTDT and I just scroll over every single one. I'm certainly not going to "like" them because they alternately bore or irritate me.
I have a friend who apparently watches her grandkids all day all summer. She posts at least once per day about what they ate for lunch or taking them grocery shopping. She also posts god stuff once per day and once a week she posts a photo of herself with friends at the same freaking diner. I stopped liking those posts about 2 years ago, except for occasionally hitting the like button because I know she's like you and her feelings are hurt by the lack of liking. But honestly? I think it's kinda foolish to get your knickers twisted over who likes or doesn't like a FB post.
And I am frankly flummoxed by the notion that I am somehow obligated to like a FB post in order to prove to you that I don't have a Grinch size heart. Don't you know your friends IRL? How have their ACTIONS proven their heart to you? Basing your belief about their heart's capacity on liking FB posts? That seems blatantly judgmental. And moreover, foolish to the point that I have to wonder if you're looking to get upset over nothing.
2. If your friends are indeed always commenting and liking on everyone else's posts but yours, then you need new friends.
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Post by melanell on Aug 8, 2014 1:40:36 GMT
I guess I misread the OP. I took it to mean that people were actually posting negativity on the FB posts of others, which seems unnecessary to me.
If we're just talking about not clicking the "like" button, then I don't even notice who likes and doesn't like my FB stuff. And as many others have said I don't see a whole lot of what shows up on my feed. There is too much there for me to see it all.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 8, 2014 1:44:44 GMT
Someone tell me what it means to diffuse cypress! Is there some sort of cypress diffusing war like the battle between Apple and Samsung? I don't get it.
I refuse to Google. I'm lazy. Judge me.
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Post by wholarmor on Aug 8, 2014 1:53:54 GMT
Well, she never answered our questions on if they were making disparaging remarks, or just not "liking" the posts. The way she typed it, it sounds like it was the 2nd way.
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 8, 2014 1:57:45 GMT
Someone tell me what it means to diffuse cypress! Is there some sort of cypress diffusing war like the battle between Apple and Samsung? I don't get it.I refuse to Google. I'm lazy. Judge me. I'm not sure. I think it's like incense.
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oaksong
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Post by oaksong on Aug 8, 2014 2:12:20 GMT
I have no opinion on any of the above, except to say 2 things:
2peafaithful, you seem very sweet and I'm sorry that the actions (or lack thereof) of others have hurt you. Facebook is a mixed blessing, IMO.
SockMonkey, you never fail to make me laugh. OMG when I saw your shoutingly-large font, I lost it! I think diffusing is when you put those little sticks in a bottle of scented oil. I hope I have offered you some relief from your Google aversion.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 8, 2014 2:13:02 GMT
Just for a different perspective, a huge family squabble was caused by someone liking a post about a competitor's product. I can't remember the details, but apparently someone took it as a backhanded marketing ploy to take credit for the product or some such nonsense. In your example, by liking the Cypress, others would think that YL is the actual supplier of said divine Cypress. The whole thing was bizarre and stupid, but thought it might help you understand why some people may steer clear of liking other people's products.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 2:13:52 GMT
Someone tell me what it means to diffuse cypress! Is there some sort of cypress diffusing war like the battle between Apple and Samsung? I don't get it.I refuse to Google. I'm lazy. Judge me. Sock, I'm not totally sure what it is either. I think it's some kind of oil you put in a warmer thing. ------------- I really hope my friends aren't keeping score based on which of their posts I like on Facebook. Especially when it comes to stuff like what you're eating or cooking, what kind of candle or incense you've got going, or when you visit the loo. Honestly, I'm kind of shaking my head that someone would judge what kind of heart I have or what kind of friend I am based on how many times I click LIKE. And like others have said, I'm not religious. I tend to sail right on by all the "so blessed" posts-especially if someone is constantly posting that kind of stuff. But that doesn't make me a bad person, and if someone thinks it does, I probably don't want to be their friend anyway
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 8, 2014 2:23:21 GMT
You WILL like my cypress diffusing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 2:29:49 GMT
The OP is talking about diffusing essential oils. Young Living and DoTerra are two of the biggest EO companies, and there is a lot of bad blood between them. Their reps sometimes get a little competitive. So liking a post about one company's oils would be a betrayal for the other company. It's nuts.
Now about liking posts, I've been accused by my MIL of ignoring her on FB. Most of her posts don't show up in my feed, and the majority of them are just for attention anyway. I'm not going to like her posts just because she complains that I don't. In fact, I'm less likely to do so because I know she's trying to manipulate me. FB is a popularity contest to her and I don't play those games.
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Post by chlerbie on Aug 8, 2014 2:40:57 GMT
I'm glad that diffusing was explained, as I had no idea what it was, and was unsure if I had ever diffused or not. I was guessing that I hadn't, since I checked around and didn't have any cypress. I'm not sure if it's a prerequisite or not for diffusion, though.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 8, 2014 2:52:50 GMT
The OP is talking about diffusing essential oils. Young Living and DoTerra are two of the biggest EO companies, and there is a lot of bad blood between them. Their reps sometimes get a little competitive. So liking a post about one company's oils would be a betrayal for the other company. It's nuts. So, when does the essential oil reality show come out? Seriously, that is a big bucket of oily crazy.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 8, 2014 2:54:20 GMT
I'm glad that diffusing was explained, as I had no idea what it was, and was unsure if I had ever diffused or not. I was guessing that I hadn't, since I checked around and didn't have any cypress. I'm not sure if it's a prerequisite or not for diffusion, though. I just want you to know that I liked your post because I fully support your right to diffuse or not diffuse, or to diffuse cypress or some other...tree. I don't know. I don't know from essential oils.
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ComplicatedLady
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 8, 2014 3:12:35 GMT
I wouldn't rain on your parade, but I don't like every post I see - just ones that I actually, you know, LIKE. I don't tend to like veiled marketing, so if you're selling whatever you're diffusing, I probably wouldn't like that one (although I wouldn't be super annoyed unless that's almost ALL you post about). If you just posted "Grateful my son is having a great week at church camp." I'd probably like that, but not necessarily the way you put it, because the rest of it doesn't really line up with my beliefs. It doesn't offend me exactly, but I don't exactly agree. It's not that I "love my beliefs more" than I love a friend - but we don't have to always agree on everything to be friends. I don't lie about my beliefs to my friends and I wouldn't want them to lie to me about whether they like something or not. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel about it. If you post something like, "I really love cheese," I'm not going to like that. I don't care if you like cheese, I don't like that you like cheese, and I don't really have feelings about whether or not you like cheese. I don't know. Seems like a weird thing to get all bajiggedy about. All that quoted just so I can say that I love the word bajiggedy. I do agree with the rest of the post though, which is convenient.
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 8, 2014 3:40:46 GMT
Coming from the other side here, because I've struggled and thought about this quite a bit, and have even had some pretty long discussions with DH about it. Here's the way I see it.. I'm atheist. Every day I encounter -- with no exaggeration -- at least 100 references to the goodness of God and how God has functioned in /changed someone's life for the better. I accept these beliefs, and I have no problem with them, but I do not share them. So when I see a beautiful photo on Instagram, and the only caption is "because God is the ultimate artist", I really hesitate to double-tap to like it. Because I feel like I'm betraying MY beliefs and misleading you, if I agree with that. And there's absolutely no way in a social media setting I'm going to even bring up that I don't share your beliefs -- because it's irrelevant. Similarly on Facebook, if I see a post about how amazing God has been in the life of someone at Christian camp, I'm torn over what to say. Does my "like" mean to you that I'm agreeing that God exists and is good? I'm more likely to say something on FB like "so glad your son is enjoying camp!" but again, I do worry that it somehow comes across as passive-aggressive since I'm not acknowledging what I consider to be half the point of you sharing a status like that -- to recognize the work of God in your life. So, I sympathize that it hurts to feel like people are selectively liking your updates and statuses based on their own personal beliefs, but maybe they aren't trying to be insulting but rather find some balance between not betraying their own beliefs and not offending you? I'm so glad that I read page 2 before I posted, because Ashley posted EXACTLY what I wanted to say. To the letter. Word for word. ETA: Except that I very rarely see posts praising God on my feed.
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Post by coaliesquirrel on Aug 8, 2014 11:31:09 GMT
Are you saying if someone posted their teen was having a great time at a camp. Learning, growing, being appreciated for who he is without the trappings of religion and the staff is doing a great job with deprogramming him from Christianity....... you would honestly be able to "like" that status? No - I'd like "having a great time at a camp. Learning, growing, being appreciated for who he is" if it was posted, but not as you said it. I'm a Christian, but I'm not much for showy-offy religion of any stripe. A better example of what my non-liking of the OP's example might be that I wouldn't like "Please pray I meet my Weight Watchers goal this week!" because I think it demeans the concept of prayer to pray for that sort of thing. The OP's statement that God is using their church in her son's life to me sounds a bit . . . . self-important, maybe? I don't subscribe to the belief that God is basically orchestrating every little thing in every person's life, so I wouldn't like that sort of comment, but neither would I post a statement to that effect. I know some of my friends think that way - I just don't. It's a difference that is OK, and I'm no more receptive to them trying to change my mind than I am going to try to change theirs, but I'm not obligated to agree with them.
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Post by alibama on Aug 8, 2014 12:54:36 GMT
"Your lack of being able to celebrate, embrace, encourage or love on, cheer on someone shows the smallness of your heart." Ugh, I know just what you mean by this. Some people have to rain on every parade. Because I can't say it any better
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Post by hollymolly on Aug 8, 2014 14:56:53 GMT
I get what you're saying, even though I think it is dangerous to pay attention to who isn't liking posts on facebook. I tend to like posts that don't necessarily represent my beliefs, but I know are important to the person posting. So it's not necessarily that I like the content, it's that I like that this thing has brought you joy.
Those of you who don't want to like something that is counter to your beliefs, what's your policy on liking a post that contains bad news? That's where I draw the line. I can't hit the like button if someone is posting that their dog died. Just can't do it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 14:58:16 GMT
Those of you who don't want to like something that is counter to your beliefs, what's your policy on liking a post that contains bad news? That's where I draw the line. I can't hit the like button if someone is posting that their dog died. Just can't do it. I usually leave a comment, instead of liking. Liking something like that just feels wrong!
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 8, 2014 15:02:43 GMT
Not limited to Facebook. That was part of my OP.
Don't worry I am not judging peoples hearts or writing them off because of this. I have plenty of grace and understanding for it but I think it is crappy.
Diffusing cypress is putting some cypress essential oil in some water and putting it in a diffuser. It puts off a scent of the cypress in your room.
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grinningcat
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 8, 2014 15:05:00 GMT
So if you think it's crappy, are you saying that you expect everyone on your feed to respond to every single one of your posts? I honestly would have no idea how to reply to your posts full of god at camp. I really wouldn't. I'm an athiest, so I don't see how god has anything to do with camp so I don't know how to react to a god-filled post about camp. So you'd consider me crappy because I can't reply to that post. Is that basically what you're saying?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 15:08:16 GMT
Don't worry I am not judging peoples hearts or writing them off because of this. I have plenty of grace and understanding for it but I think it is crappy. Julie, even after all the posts on this thread, you still don't understand that not liking something you've shared doesn't have to be an insult? I really like you, but I'm afraid I don't really understand why this is such a huge issue for you. BTW, I think we're FB friends and I only check in about once a day and only skim through the top few posts in my feed, so I miss out on tonnes and tonnes of stuff. Even my mom is always messaging me, asking me if I saw someone's post on FB, since I miss out on so many.
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perumbula
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Post by perumbula on Aug 8, 2014 15:13:16 GMT
I totally had people like my post when I said my dog died. not kidding. People are weird.
I have people like negative posts quite often actually. I asked my dd about the last one (because she was one of the like-ers) and she said she liked it because she liked how I phrased it. I try to add some humor when I'm venting just so I don't sound like a whiny baby. I have people on my friends list battling cancer or who have recently lost loved ones. I don't want to go all "wo is me" because I'm stressed about something relatively small.
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