mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,074
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Aug 8, 2014 18:32:36 GMT
I love it, and think the part about Chris being a polyglot explains the magic and joy of the evening. May her Memory be Eternal - how horribly sad to be a young widow and to die so young herself.
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 8, 2014 18:32:43 GMT
I thought the stuff they wrote about their mother was very personal and nice.
I thought the stuff they wrote about themselves seemed more than a little pretentious, but to each his own.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 8, 2014 18:34:18 GMT
That obituary is my mother's worst nightmare. She's made me promise not to let any of my siblings put anything like that out for the public and laughs at the obituaries she reads that are like this one. I have to say I totally agree with her. IMHO those things should be said in the eulogy not published in the paper. They come off as bragging to me.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 8, 2014 18:34:26 GMT
I don't mind an obit to read like this, it gives you more of an insight to their lives. However, to read the accomplishments of the kids seems a bit over the top. This is about her, not them.
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Post by spitfiregirl on Aug 8, 2014 18:34:45 GMT
I like it but I there seems to be too much about the other people. I almost need a spreadsheet. I don't care if her kid is a polyglot or a yoga teacher. I want to know about her, and even though these are people in her life, I would rather know what she thought, loved, felt, admired etc.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,062
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Aug 8, 2014 18:35:11 GMT
Not horribly, but it definitely is a little pretentious or maybe some unnecessary information, like this - Who cares? This. I think her obit was lovely, but really, the kids sticking in THEIR own accomplishments made it seem pretentious, as if they were using the obit to brag about themselves, hence the Christmas letter feeling. All that was unnecessary, IMO.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 8, 2014 18:35:20 GMT
While I think what they said about her is lovely, I have to agree that the children putting anything about their own accomplishments (Grammy nominated, polyglot) is unnecessary. It was sweet how they mentioned their grandmother, too.
I remember her being on Martha's show. How sad she died so young.
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Post by annaintx on Aug 8, 2014 18:36:28 GMT
I think it would be good to remember that it was written by her children probably in their time of grief.
That said, I thought it was a lovely tribute to her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 11:45:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 18:36:32 GMT
It's threads like these that make me realize how not-normal I am.
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Post by Scarlet Ohana on Aug 8, 2014 18:37:45 GMT
You know some day, many years from now her future great grandchildren will appreciate learning what she was really like. I love the details. I think it's lovely.
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486
Location: Big Sky Country
Jun 25, 2014 20:32:35 GMT
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Post by Montannie on Aug 8, 2014 18:39:02 GMT
I appreciated the tone and the information about the deceased. As an amateur genealogist, I would love to see a chatty, informational obit. It really opens up who the person is, instead of just the bare facts of their life.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 8, 2014 18:39:36 GMT
OH that whole article was the obit? I scrolled down and thought "This is way too long and boring". Of course I have no clue why her sister's obit has public meaning. Was her sister a public figure?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 11:45:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 18:39:43 GMT
That said, I take it not as "Look at how great we are!" but rather "Look at what successful and well-rounded children our mom raised, even under such difficult circumstances." I think (or at least I hope!) they meant it as a kudos to her job raising them, not a kudos to themselves. It showed her life, how she lived it and what was important to her. If she lived well and raised accomplished children, good for her. And good for her children for heralding her for it.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 8, 2014 18:42:11 GMT
I appreciated the tone and the information about the deceased. As an amateur genealogist, I would love to see a chatty, informational obit. It really opens up who the person is, instead of just the bare facts of their life. Exactly. A person is so much more than the day they were born and died and that they were a son/daughter, sibling, parent, or spouse, which is pretty much the only thing that the cookie cutter obits that are demanded tell of the person. Why wouldn't a family want to shout from the rooftops who their loved one was? It makes me sad that I didn't break out of the mould for my grandmother earlier this year. She deserved so much more than the trite, boring "she was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother" template I was told to use. ETA: And now that I think of it, I would have played up the success of every single child and grandchild. Why? Because she was fiercely proud of everything we did and she herself talked us up at every turn when she was still able to. So why wouldn't that be celebrated in her final printed testament? So no, I don't think it's pretentious to talk of how successful her children are. I think that is another testament to the person she was. I really don't see how this is pretentious at all.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,818
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Aug 8, 2014 18:42:50 GMT
I don't think an obituary is a time to downplay one's accomplishments. While it may come off as a bit pompous or overblown to outsiders, it's clear that her children felt that she had many accomplishments that they wanted her to be remembered for. ANd their own accomplishments, too, by the reading of it. Exactly. I didn't have a problem with her children talking about her accomplishments, but they did an awful lot of talking about themselves!
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 8, 2014 18:42:58 GMT
OH that whole article was the obit? I scrolled down and thought "This is way too long and boring". Of course I have no clue why her sister's obit has public meaning. Was her sister a public figure? Read the obit and you would know. Her sister was a part of the show and other Stewart businesses.
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Post by Sam on Aug 8, 2014 18:43:03 GMT
It's threads like these that make me realize how not-normal I am. I think you're fairly normal, and I think many comments on here agree with you, but aren't as forthright. I would have taken all the pretentious,self-serving text out and left the rest in - there were some lovely comments which gave me a good impression of the lady she was. I don't really need to know about the genius of her kids in the way it was portrayed. She could be shown as a successful writer as opposed to (what kind of seemed to me as) an employee of her more successful sister!
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Aug 8, 2014 18:47:40 GMT
We peas can pick apart anything, even an obit. I thought it was nice
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 8, 2014 18:50:11 GMT
OH that whole article was the obit? I scrolled down and thought "This is way too long and boring". Of course I have no clue why her sister's obit has public meaning. Was her sister a public figure? Read the obit and you would know. Her sister was a part of the show and other Stewart businesses. That was my whole problem. It was long and drawn out about someone I had never heard of. ETA: I am not one for reading obits unless I am close to the person or I know of them. Now I might read martha stewarts if it crossed my computer.
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Post by Sam on Aug 8, 2014 18:55:30 GMT
We peas can pick apart anything, even an obit. I thought it was nice Parts of it were very nice - particularly the parts that related to her alone. I liked those a lot.
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Post by lumo on Aug 8, 2014 18:55:32 GMT
I didn't think it was particularly pretentious, but just kind of...odd. And I'm all for a non-traditional obit, but this one was just strange to me.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 8, 2014 18:55:53 GMT
I actually love the mention of the last meal they all had together. It reminds me a lot of my own family. Our events revolve around what we are eating. I can mark memories by what we had for dinner at a particular event.
I'm so glad they were all able to be together one last time so soon before she passed. I wish her family peace during this difficult time.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 8, 2014 18:57:01 GMT
ANd their own accomplishments, too, by the reading of it. Exactly. I didn't have a problem with her children talking about her accomplishments, but they did an awful lot of talking about themselves! I wouldn't feel the need to list titles and/or accomplishments of me or my siblings in my parents obituary. I do like showing her interests, but listing occupations and accomplishments of spouses and children seems a bit much for me.
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Post by cynipidae17 on Aug 8, 2014 18:57:30 GMT
I could have done without the kids' accomplishments, mainly because it made it a littler harder to follow. I loved them mentioning the last meal she made the family, that part was sweet.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 11:45:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 19:01:58 GMT
I would wager that many parents feel their greatest achievements are their children, and by extension, their achievements. Perhaps they included those things because they know she was very proud if them and would have wanted them included.
I think it's lovely and don't feel it's my place to judge how they choose to remember and honor her.
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Post by formerpea on Aug 8, 2014 19:09:41 GMT
I like it but I there seems to be too much about the other people. I almost need a spreadsheet. I don't care if her kid is a polyglot or a yoga teacher. I want to know about her, and even though these are people in her life, I would rather know what she thought, loved, felt, admired etc. But I think her kid who was a polyglot or yoga teacher or whatever is exactly what she loved & admired and she thought grand desserts and great tasting meals were important and admired home made clothes - so I think it summed up her life quite well.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 11:45:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 19:11:53 GMT
I would wager that many parents feel their greatest achievements are their children, and by extension, their achievements. Perhaps they included those things because they know she was very proud if them and would have wanted them included. I think it's lovely and don't feel it's my place to judge how they choose to remember and honor her.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Aug 8, 2014 19:13:12 GMT
My father's obit was kind of like that only instead of talking about his polyglot son, we talked about the time dad went hunting with 2 shells and came home with 3 pheasants... and the fact he predicted it!
Actually, I wrote the obit myself and the funeral home said the paper would print anything we wrote. I think it's beautiful, it gets people to read the obits and learn more about the kind of person they were and not so much about the stats of their life and death.
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Post by BeckyTech on Aug 8, 2014 19:14:01 GMT
I didn't think much of it either, feeling like I knew more about her kids' accomplishments than her own by the time I finished reading. I decided to take a few moments to analyze and it turns out that the whole obit was 555 words, of which only 45 were devoted to what her kids had accomplished. (It seemed like more when I read through the first time.) I still didn't feel like I knew anything about her, so I isolated the sentences that told me about her as a person, and that only amounted to 76 words: So, for instance, we don't know why they want donations to the library or much else about her other than that she was a lovely person, where she worked, who she married, and when, where, and how she died. In other words, take out the kids and the menu items, and it reads much like any other obit. That's my take on it.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Aug 8, 2014 19:23:08 GMT
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