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Post by crimsoncat05 on Aug 8, 2014 19:26:56 GMT
That said, I take it not as "Look at how great we are!" but rather "Look at what successful and well-rounded children our mom raised, even under such difficult circumstances." I think (or at least I hope!) they meant it as a kudos to her job raising them, not a kudos to themselves.  It showed her life, how she lived it and what was important to her. If she lived well and raised accomplished children, good for her. And good for her children for heralding her for it. I agree with the above. We are so much more than the 'born on, died on, survived by,' type of obituaries that seem to be standard fare nowadays. (not that I read a lot of obituaries, but I do glance at them on occasion in the newspaper.) This was a very loving tribute to her as an individual, as well as a parent (by discussing her childrens' accomplishments). I don't see anything wrong with it. And for the people saying the obituary isn't the place for this type of infomration, that it should be in the eulogy instead-- what if someone can't attend the funeral service (for whatever reason) to hear the eulogy?? Why can't the person's life be celebrated in their obituary AS WELL AS in their eulogy?? ETA: I wish I knew this kind of info about my ancestors!! |
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Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
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Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 8, 2014 19:28:03 GMT
I thought it was lovely.
I was touched by the recounting of their last time together of course no knowing what was to come.
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oaksong
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Aug 8, 2014 19:28:00 GMT
I think it was an interesting way of telling her story. Some of it's a little over the top, but it is something that's meaningful to them. At times it was hard to tell if it was about the kids or their mom. I'm sure more than a few of their friends who read it rolled their eyes. The family photo was nice, but IMO it should have prominently featured a picture of her as well.
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YooHoot
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 8, 2014 19:28:14 GMT
I think it shows she was more than just "Martha Stewart's sister". It was nice. I didn't really need to know the accomplishments of her children, but I guess having successful children is also an accomplishment.
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Mystie
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Post by Mystie on Aug 8, 2014 19:28:30 GMT
That was about where they lost me. I thought most of the details, even the dinner menu, were nice, but there were just a few things that came off sounding pretentious--more about the family than about Laura herself. But how sad to die at 59, it seems so young.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 8, 2014 19:30:01 GMT
Becky you're way to techy  I thought it was lovely. I suspect this whole family is driven and a bunch of high achievers. I'm sure their mom was incredibly proud of their accomplishments, even the polyglot...for all we know they may have sat at the dinner table rolling their eyes when he gave his recital in 3 languages...and thought it was a funny story to put in there. She (Laura) sounds like a well rounded, well grounded woman who raised some very accomplished children who are as proud of her as she was of them. I'd think I'd done my job well if similar things could be said about my kids when I leave this world. I think they wrote a beautiful piece which gave us (the general public) a more personal view of the life of a woman who lived life well and accomplished a lot in her lifetime. It would have been a huge disservice to her if the obit gave fewer details and the simply pointed out she was the 'sister of Martha Stewart', as if that were a major accomplishment. I think her children were trying to give the public a look at HER family and her success, which includes raising kids who have done well themselves. I got the love. May her memory be a blessing. |
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Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 8, 2014 19:30:51 GMT
I also wanted to add that her children are young adults. She died young and as the years go by it is harder to remember the details. This would be nice for her grandchildren to read one day.
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 19:31:19 GMT
I don't mind an obit to read like this, it gives you more of an insight to their lives. However, to read the accomplishments of the kids seems a bit over the top. This is about her, not them. But what is more "about her" than her children? Their accomplishments are most likely something she was extremely proud of as their mother. |
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Aug 8, 2014 19:40:40 GMT
I loved the part about what she made for the final family meal, but the "Grammy-nominated, polyglot" kind of stuff was over the top and unnecessary IMO. The obit was written by her children it says, and by children, Chris. I would bet real money Chris wrote this, and that's where the pretentious "Grammy-nominated" instead of just "musician" came in. The polyglot comment had to have been written by him. |
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Post by spitfiregirl on Aug 8, 2014 19:42:11 GMT
But what is more "about her" than her children? Not always the case... You can be the best parent in the world and still have asshole children. I'm not sayin these kids are assholes, but you get my drift, right? Here's some food for thought....Are kids always a reflection of their parents? |
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Aug 8, 2014 19:42:28 GMT
It's very clear that her children love her dearly. I think it's a very sweet tribute to their mother.
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Post by BeckyTech on Aug 8, 2014 19:44:57 GMT
Becky you're way too techy It's a blessing and a curse.  I was just trying to quantify why I felt like it was more about her kids than her and why I came away feeling like I knew very little about her as a person and why people were saying that her ancestors would find it so informative. I get what you all are saying, though, about a parent accomplishing much by raising an educated and accomplished child. |
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 19:49:46 GMT
But what is more "about her" than her children? Not always the case... You can be the best parent in the world and still have asshole children. I'm not sayin these kids are assholes, but you get my drift, right? Here's some food for thought....Are kids always a reflection of their parents? I didn't say they were a reflection of her. She obviously had a lot to be proud of with her children. I'm sure that if you met her in person and asked her about her children, those are things she would have told people. So why not say them in her obituary.
And no, a child is not always a reflection of their parent, but you can be sure that the majority of successful children have a parent/parents that are supportive behind them.
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scrappert
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Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 8, 2014 19:56:10 GMT
I don't mind an obit to read like this, it gives you more of an insight to their lives. However, to read the accomplishments of the kids seems a bit over the top. This is about her, not them. But what is more "about her" than her children? Their accomplishments are most likely something she was extremely proud of as their mother. I get that your children are your accomplishments, but I guess the info in there seemed too much about them. Maybe it's the knowledge that they wrote it and not her. IDK
But, like I said, I like when an obit says more than just the basics. I want to know the person. Especially if this was a person that someone in my family knew but I did not and I was going to go to the funeral/service. I would want to know more about them not their kids.
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Post by annabella on Aug 8, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
I think it's lovely, although I didn't need to know her son was a polyglot, but I get it she's proud of her children's accomplishments. I tend to read the obituaries in the newspaper a lot and am disappointed that few cite the cause of death.
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Post by picotjo on Aug 8, 2014 20:01:14 GMT
I too thought that it was lovely. |
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 20:04:18 GMT
My first thought was that she was only 59!!
I thought it was a lovely tribute. Our children ARE part of our accomplishments. And the fact that the last time they were all together was something they can remember and cherish is wonderful for them.
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Post by BeckyTech on Aug 8, 2014 20:07:12 GMT
I think it's lovely, although I didn't need to know her son was a polyglot, but I get it she's proud of her children's accomplishments. I tend to read the obituaries in the newspaper a lot and am disappointed that few cite the cause of death. I'm always curious why people read obituaries regularly. |
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Post by heartland on Aug 8, 2014 20:08:38 GMT
okay, am I seriously the only one that will admit to not knowing what the word polyglot meant? It's been bandied around here so much, I had to google it to see just what the big deal was.  All joking aside, the obituary was a very loving tribute to their mother, and while some of it seemed over the top, (polyglot indeed), it was very lovely to read. This is maybe a trend I could get behind. |
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Post by Sam on Aug 8, 2014 20:10:12 GMT
I tend to read the obituaries in the newspaper a lot and am disappointed that few cite the cause of death. Why?  |
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Pearl Clutcher
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 8, 2014 20:11:12 GMT
My first thought was that she was only 59!!
I thought it was a lovely tribute. Our children ARE part of our accomplishments. And the fact that the last time they were all together was something they can remember and cherish is wonderful for them.
Well said! For or all we know the polyglot comment which several have honed in on may have been an inside joke in the family. |
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Dani-Mani on Aug 8, 2014 20:11:23 GMT
I think that comparing a dead woman's accomplishments to a tacky Christmas letter is classless.
I'd much rather hear about her life than 3 pages about family members I know nothing about, as I see in most obituaries. Tells me nothing about the person's life.
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 20:12:53 GMT
Maybe I found the obituary as classless as a tacky Christmas letter.  |
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MaryMary
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Post by MaryMary on Aug 8, 2014 20:13:24 GMT
They just lost their mother suddenly. Their lives will never be the same again. I won't nitpick how they chose to memorialize her.
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 20:15:57 GMT
And to those who think it sounds like a bragging Christmas letter ... that is a very different kind of a thing from an obit. The person being remembered is supposed to be celebrated in an obit. This is a really good point because I was leaning toward the pretentious side. I do think it was a bit over the top, but I understand it a bit more now. |
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Dani-Mani on Aug 8, 2014 20:16:08 GMT
Maybe I found the obituary as classless as a tacky Christmas letter. Which is my point. I can't imagine picking apart a family that simply didn't subscribe to what YOU feel should be in a obituary for a woman who died suddenly. Talk about tacky. |
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Deleted
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Oct 8, 2024 11:47:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 20:18:14 GMT
Oh. I didn't realize we couldn't express our opinions here.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Dani-Mani on Aug 8, 2014 20:19:32 GMT
Oh yes, the "I didn't know I couldn't express my opinion" comment when people don't agree with you. I don't see where anyone said that, myself included.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 20:21:07 GMT
I don't think discussing something is tacky, or not. I don't think starting this thread was tacky, or not. It's a discussion board. We talk about stuff. It's not as if I'm going to walk into her wake and say to her children, "you know, I thought the obituary you wrote was kinda pretentious". Honestly, I think getting all uppity on someone else and calling them classless is just as tacky as you're blaming me for being. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 8, 2014 20:22:29 GMT
But what is more "about her" than her children? Their accomplishments are most likely something she was extremely proud of as their mother. I get that your children are your accomplishments, but I guess the info in there seemed too much about them. Maybe it's the knowledge that they wrote it and not her. IDK
But, like I said, I like when an obit says more than just the basics. I want to know the person. Especially if this was a person that someone in my family knew but I did not and I was going to go to the funeral/service. I would want to know more about them not their kids.
I'm with you scrappert - for me talking about my parent's death is not the place for me to insert my accomplishments. For me that is not the same as them being proud of me. For them to talk about my accomplishments, great, but I wouldn't feel like talking about my accomplishments when it was their time. |
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