If I cry. I'll let you know.... update

My youngest is off to college. He is a super new 18yo and filled with complete certainty that he already knows everything and will be fine.

He has NO crap together. I made him sit down with me last weekend and discuss and make lists, but he is supremely unconcerned. He doesn't want to share one thing with me, but every time I ask him anything remotely complicated (move in time or roommate info)*, he has the answer. Today, he bought a book. You could have knocked me over with a feather. He was SO proud of himself, too, as he got a good deal.

I did not think I'd be sad, but since my life has significantly changed in the past 1.5 months, I am feeling sadder. He is my link to sanity right now. I want it ALL for him, though, and know he has to get out of here. I cannot make him into what he is not, but I often see glimpses of what I hope for him, and I hope that college will let it all out.

*not complicated for girls, but more complicated for boys. Particularly since mine had to change his. And did!

Oh 950nancy Oh my heavens. That is a beautiful story about your mom. Your RA gave you a glimpse inside your mom that you wouldn't have otherwise been aware of. It truly brought tears to my eyes.

I loved my parents, but was so happy to go away and I went 500 miles away. I was barely 17 and I still remember wishing my whole family would just LEAVE and when they did I thought I couldn't breathe anymore. We all had those hall phones at the time and I waited and waited and WAITED for my mom to call, but my stupid older brother told her that it would NOT be wise to call me before one week had passed. I had to wait for her to call (no long distance) and I was miserable. Years later, my very stoic and very reserved German mother would tell me that was one of the worst weeks of her life. That really meant a lot to me. I'm so glad you got to hear it from your RA. What a gift. I am sorry about your mama. 23 is just a baby.

I really love your attitude.  My first went from Ontario to British Columbia.  We both flew to BC, stayed with friends for a few days & purchased some of the stuff that he needed that year (pillow, sleeping bag, other bulky stuff) & dropped him off at school.  I had a great dinner with him the evening before he left.  Talked about the important (call mom every Sunday) and the not-so-important stuff.  He was a man and not a child.  I gave him roots and wings.  He soared in the sky.  So proud of him.  

See that's it I'm not always sad when i cry over things like that. It's more like i have a whole jumble of mixed emotions and I cry because i can't sort them out or because there are too many of them. 

I am not a crier (especially not in front of anyone)- but big goodbyes get to me.
My dd's move-in day is Friday. I'm a little worried about keeping myself together. I guess that day will be busy enough to distract. The next morning when we head home will be a killer though. It won't be a matter of 'sad' though - it will be the big change in our family and all-over-the-place emotions. Change is good, but it comes with a whole new set of worries, and sometimes I just want to dig my heels in and resist.

And then- if I can manage to keep myself together, God help me if I see someone else losing it. THAT will do me in for sure.

I was sad that my ds went off to college, but I was happy for him.  I didn't cry, but I'm not a crier, anyway.  However, it was quite an adjustment.  Soon, you'll get used to him being gone and you'll settle into a new normal.  It takes time.  Though I must admit I'm loving the fact that he's home for the summer. 

Well, I did not refer to Grown and Flown and I have done pretty well. The only part that has been a little rough was going into his room yesterday to see what needs to be done to convert the space to an office. My DH is taking his absence harder than I am. We still have two at home, so it'll be the last one that I think will have us in tears. 

I could not wait to go to college. I practically pushed my mother's car out of the dorm parking lot so I could get started after moving in.

I've sent 3 kids to college so far - 2 cried when we left, one pushed us out the door. It's a very exciting time for them; I think one can be both excited for them and sad at the transition from child to young adult.

I was also happy for my DD when we dropped her off freshman year. There was still tears when we said goodbye, both me and then her. But not sad tears. happy tears. (At least for me)

I agree.  Crying does not always mean sad for me.  Crying can mean, mad, proud, happy, scared, frustrated, embarrassed, and more.  I HATE that tears come so easy for me.  When my daughter moves out in 67 days (count down to her wedding) and when I cry it will be because I am so happy and thrilled for her and also because I will sincerely miss her.  She is pretty awesome! 

It wasn't me that cried when our first left home for college the first year. DS packed up, got in his car and sat in the driveway for 15 minutes. DH had to go back out (after our good-byes) and tell him he was going to be ok, just do it. He did, and he excelled. The first girl was harder. She was just getting over an eating disorder--and she was a little younger than ds had been too. She was just 17. We had to take her down, as her car wouldn't hold "all her stuff." Or maybe she wanted us to--I can't remember. It was a real "trust in the Lord" moment for me though, because I still wanted to keep my eye on her to make sure she was going to be ok. She was.
Third child--another girl was 8 years later--and we knew she was ready. She attended college not far from home, so I got to go visit for lunch at times. 4th child was 5 years later--and she attended the college not far from home--but didn't have a car, so we had to take her there. That one was our last one, and yes, that was pretty emotional. By then, the 3rd one was back home, and working, so we didn't have to have that empty next for a few more years!! the 4th one got married about 3 months after graduating from college, so that last 3 months was really busy getting ready for the wedding. My son came home from college and was with us for about a year before he got married, the 1st daughter stayed in her college town, got a job, and eventually married. (about 2 years after graduation) the third child was home with a job about2 years before she got married.

But you know what? dh and I have really enjoyed our time together. We didn't have much time before kids, so this has been a real blessing to us. Today, the grandkids will be here--and talk about blessings!!

I am dropping two off this weekend for their freshman year. I am so excited of them. People keep asking me if I have been crying. The answer is no. I am starting to wonder if I am the freak.

I am another crying reading the thread, and I have 3 more years! At this point, I expect DD will probably stay close, but she could end up far away. It has just been the two of us for a while.

I remember when I left for college. It was all busy leading up to the day and even moving in - no one had time to process anything. At lunch that day, my mom looked at me and we BOTH burst into tears.

We all deal with change differently. I think college is a weird one, because it is a new beginning for everyone.

With my first DD 4 years ago I cried in the car the whole way home (an hour and a half). It was sad to have the first one leave the nest.
We just took our other DD last Friday and I managed not to cry. It helped that we got her moved in then went to a meeting for parents of girls pledging. That was a nice way to cut the emotion of the good-bye moment. I miss her like crazy and I'm sad for me but very excited for her.
The oldest has been home for the summer and will leave again this coming weekend. After that we will be official first time empty nesters.
I think for a little while while I adjust to our new home I'll be but I am looking forward to it just being DH and I. He's excited now and has all kinds of plans that involve me walking around in nothing but a small t-shirt.