anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,112
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on May 1, 2019 1:21:23 GMT
Neither of us has any secondary education... which is why we both work on a production line... we make the same... get the same days off n holidays...
My bff n her dh have a huge education difference... but they were high school sweethearts and she helped him get through medical school... he has never used that against her... he isn't that kind of guy...
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Post by quinlove on May 1, 2019 1:30:17 GMT
Same level of education but his income is a lot more than mine because of the type of degree. It does affect our relationship sometimes - during times that money has been tight, he has expressed frustration that I can't carry more of the financial burden. It's come up that if I had chosen a different career, we might have been able to afford to send our kids to more expensive colleges. I'll admit it; it's hurtful. That would be a major issue for me, if my husband didn't respect my career choice and appreciate what I do for the family. I do all right but I'd never be able to match his salary or do what he does. I would be pretty upset if he made comments about what we could afford if only I had chosen to do something else. 😡 Feeling kind of angry on your behalf! Me too Merge. I’m so sorry it’s like that. |
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Post by pierkiss on May 1, 2019 1:47:09 GMT
He has a Ph.D. and I have a Master’s. Our degrees are in the same field, from the same school. He applies his to businesses and organizations, while I specialize in autism and other intellectual disabilities.
It bugs me to no end that I didn’t just get the damn Ph.D. when I was in grad school. I am super competitive and it annoys me that I am not his equal in this respect. 🙄😂. We do not treat each other any different when we are discussing things because of our education levels.
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Post by sabrinae on May 1, 2019 1:59:05 GMT
More. I have a masters and JD. He has a MBA. It doesn’t have an impact except I proof read every thing for him — that’s not a truly of education levels though. He has horrible spelling and a Learning disorder that impacts his writing
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Post by BSnyder on May 1, 2019 2:01:36 GMT
DH has a 4-year degree and many additional certifications in his field. I have a dual 4-year degree, the equivalent credits to a master's in master's level classes (just never made it formal) plus multitudes of additional, ongoing professional training. I would say that no matter what our degree level, we both have completely different levels of background, experience, and expertise, dependent on the topic, so we respect each other's strengths and knowledge. And, i think we challenge each other and make the other stronger. For example, even through tech is not my area of education/training, I am the go-to person tech person for most people I work with because he has taught me so much that I can figure out most issues we come across at my job.
That said, we were the first to go to college in both of our families and we have had not problem asking and taking advise from our families over the years, including financial, real estate, etc. Education is not an indication of wisdom or intelligence in my mind, nor would it have been a deal-breaker for me in a relationship. However, choosing to be purposely ignorant or closed-minded would be.
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Post by danalz on May 1, 2019 2:06:21 GMT
I have more than my DH. I have my bachelor's and he had one year of college; however, he earns more than $30k more than me. He works in IT for the state and I'm a social work care manager.
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Post by ntsf on May 1, 2019 2:09:55 GMT
we both had bachelor's when we got married,and dh got an EMBA.. while working full time and on crutches and going through surgeries... then he got an Advanced PMP. I still do better at trivia in many areas than him.. he respects my intelligence and I respect his...
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Post by newfcathy on May 1, 2019 2:23:17 GMT
We met in college. I spent the first 4 years of our marriage working full time & going to school for my MBA. I told dh about all my classes & he loved hearing about them. He was very proud of my accomplishment.
He is very smart, also dyslexic. He was in sales and later management. He can make a speech at the drop of a hat. He will often call me to check on his math, like how to properly compute sales increases ytd or between different time periods. He can inspire & motivate people.
It helps that our strengths are in different areas. We support rather than compete and even after 40 years we still interest each other. He is also very capable, handyman has loads of common sense.
I would be bored with someone who wasn’t intelligent or curious. Brains were high on my list. Intelligence ranks higher than education level with me.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,415 
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on May 1, 2019 2:29:09 GMT
Less, my DH has 2 masters degrees and I only have my bachelors. I plan to start my masters soon.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,141
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Post by rickmer on May 1, 2019 2:37:27 GMT
ideally, in a relationship i think both partners should be valued and respected for what each of them brings to the table.
you could have a PhD but if you throw a switch on the breaker and have to call an electrician, well maybe your partner who has more practical skillset has value that needs to be respected.
i used to talk to this dad in a playgroup who's wife was a lawyer. he said in "discussions" that they disagreed about, he had to remind her he was not opposing counsel.
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Post by Belia on May 1, 2019 2:59:25 GMT
DH has a BS
I have a BS and 2 master's degrees
We're in such different fields (him- IT / me- education) that it doesn't really come up and doesn't seem relevant.
Now, I do make more money than he does. I think that sticks in his craw more than the fact that I have more education. I could care less.
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Post by travelsoul on May 1, 2019 3:08:03 GMT
I have some college but no degree. DH has several years of vocational school which has earned him many certifications as an electrician. We earn similar money but he earns more when OT is factored in.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on May 1, 2019 3:54:40 GMT
Yes I am and no it doesn’t.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on May 1, 2019 3:56:31 GMT
DH is more formally educated on paper than I am, but he will be the first to say I have a much more well rounded education than he does. He's always told our kids he knows what he was taught, but I know everything else.
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Post by cmpeter on May 1, 2019 4:11:26 GMT
We are even Steven...same college, same level of degree.
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Post by beaglemom on May 1, 2019 4:24:45 GMT
I have a masters and dh has a PhD. Doesn't come up. He works in tech and I was a teacher before becoming a sahm. At this point, if I went back to teaching he would be bringing home 10+ times what I would. Someday I'll go back for something else. At the moment I want to take courses to become more proficient at sewing, our local junior college has a great fashion program. I love sewing for my girls and would love to learn more.
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paigepea
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on May 1, 2019 4:26:40 GMT
Dh is more formally educated.
I have 7 years (4 year bachelors, 2 years educatuon, 1 year post graduate)
)
Dh has 10 years (4 years bachelors, 4 years medicine - I guess plus 4 years residency - and then 2 years masters degree).
I wanted to do my masters first but his really advanced his career and I was planning on staying home with kids. I’d love to work now but he gets paid far better than me so financially it’s better for our family if he advances at work and has the freedom to take on anything extra while I look after kids / house. I get bored, which sucks. I volunteer tutor but it isn’t the same. But I get it. Taking on one extra day a month for 12 months he can make what I would make working full time for 10 months. It’s a no brainer.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on May 1, 2019 5:21:11 GMT
Same. DH has an MBA and I will soon have a Master's in speech language pathology. I can't imagine being in a relationship where education is used to promote some kind of intellectual supremacy. Red flag!!!
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Post by pattyraindrops on May 1, 2019 5:41:00 GMT
I have a BA. He just got his MS in December. It has no effect on our relationship. We just respect each other. I know I'm pretty lucky in that regard. I also don't have a job. He has never once treated me like I didn't measure up.
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Post by pattyraindrops on May 1, 2019 5:43:22 GMT
I have a Ph.D.; he has a J.D. We both defer to the other in our areas of expertise - he literally just called me today to deal with a sticky emotional situation with his sister; I (and everyone else in the family) turn to him with legal questions. We respect each others' smarts.  That's how we are and not just in educational smarts. |
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,923
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on May 1, 2019 6:24:55 GMT
I was talking to my 22 yo DD about this on her visit this past weekend. She made a comment that the lady she babysits for will soon have her Master's and will therefore be more educated than her DH who has his CPA. Huh? CPA is a certification, not a degree level. Her husband may already have a master's (or doctoral) degree. |
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Post by Jockscrap on May 1, 2019 6:34:23 GMT
More, I have a bachelor's degree, he only took a few classes at community college. He's really smart in practical ways. Problem solving, figuring things out, etc... I probably have better critical thinking and information gathering skills as a result of my education. We complement each other really well in terms of intellect. For me, this bolded part is important. I think I would find it hard to be in a relationship with someone who was intellectually below or above me, but that doesn’t come down to letters after our names or how many years we spend in education. I know many very intelligent people who have done incredibly well in careers without formal qualifications. I also know folk with degrees with no ability to formulate and debate opinions for themselves. I have an honours degree; my DH left school with virtually no qualifications but now has an MBA. It’s wrong to equate education with intellect. People who look down on others or are patronising to folk less educated than themselves are just rude. |
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Post by gale w on May 1, 2019 6:50:10 GMT
Only slightly more. I went to college for 2 years but part of it was part time and I didn't earn a degree. DH didn't go at all.
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Post by KelleeM on May 1, 2019 8:07:23 GMT
I have a Bachelor’s and dh left school at 16. He has lived a varied and interesting life and our educational levels don’t play any part in our relationship. He will occasionally ask me how I know something but that’s more related to me having a head full of very random and sometimes useful information and not my education, for the most part.
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Post by manda on May 1, 2019 8:17:29 GMT
I have many college courses under my belt with no degree and he has a bachelors and law degree. We both make six figures.
He has strengths and I have strengths. Done.
Roughly 30% of Americans over the age of 30 have a bachelors degree. Chew on that.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,970
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Post by peppermintpatty on May 1, 2019 13:35:12 GMT
My dh has a bachelors. I have 2 bachelors and a master's degree. He makes twice what I do:)
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Post by cmhs on May 1, 2019 19:02:12 GMT
DH and I have the same level of education. We met in our masters program.
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
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Post by psiluvu on May 1, 2019 19:15:15 GMT
I have a 4 yr university degree, a college diploma and professional certification. My dh has 2 years of university. He is one of the smartest people I know. We have great discussions about current events and he can discuss just about anything with anybody. His math skills are also outstanding, thankfully the kids take after him and not me when it comes to math.
He has a blue collar job, working midnights and is fairly high up the food chain( well as high as you can go on midnights) He constantly stresses the importance of education to our kids so they don't have to work as hard as he does.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 1, 2019 19:27:45 GMT
I have a masters degree. Dh was just shy of a four year degree when he quit (before we were dating). I don’t think it has an impact on our relationship. If anything, he acts like I don’t know things rather than the other way around.
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Post by deekaye on May 1, 2019 19:40:36 GMT
We both have the same amount of college, but even if we didn't, I couldn't imagine him talking "down" to me if I had less, or the other way around.
DD has considerably less college than her husband (she a four degree, he a medical degree) but I've never, ever heard him talk down to her.
That would irritate me to no end.
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