luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428 
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 30, 2019 20:14:38 GMT
I was talking to my 22 yo DD about this on her visit this past weekend. She made a comment that the lady she babysits for will soon have her Master's and will therefore be more educated than her DH who has his CPA.
My bf's daughter has her Master's (going for PhD) but I don't think her DH has any college. I haven't interacted with her a lot but even so, I noticed she talks down to him and one time even mentioned her education level in regards to something she said to him.
I have a 2 year degree while my bf doesn't have any college (had a scholarship to Pitt for baseball before getting hurt). That's not much difference though in my book anyway.
My ex-H has a 4 year degree and I often thought he didn't respect my opinion in different matters because I didn't have one. One time we were disagreeing about something. He decided to go my way but only after talking to his sister (4 year degree from same school DH went to). She said the same thing I did but he only respected that opinion once she said it. Ugh.
Are you more formally educated than your SO or is he/she? Does it affect your relationship?
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Post by papersilly on Apr 30, 2019 20:20:40 GMT
we both have four year degrees but he has certification in his field.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Apr 30, 2019 20:22:22 GMT
I have less than my dh. He respects me and has NEVER said one word about it.
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Kerri W
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Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Apr 30, 2019 20:25:24 GMT
DH and I are equally educated, though through very different paths. My DD is more educated than her DH (he has a bachelors and she has completed her masters and is working on her national board certification) and I can't imagine her ever touting that to her husband. Your examples really seem more about a shitty personality trait than education.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 30, 2019 20:25:48 GMT
I would say DH and I are about even. Neither went to college.. Both of us have various 'certificates' in our lines of work and have always improved as the years have gone by depending on the job.
DD when finished with school will have her Masters and her BF (who we think she will eventually settle down with) is also in college and getting a nursing degree (some specialty thing though).. so I would say they will be even as well. I would hope neither of them would use that as something to throw in each other's faces.. They really don't have a relationship like that.. they are both very low key in fighting.. which isn't often.
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kate
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Apr 30, 2019 20:25:59 GMT
Yes, and no.
I'm way too old to care what degrees my friends (and DH) have. I suppose it could make a difference if I were hiring someone (and even then, there are a lot of other factors that go into the decision), but in my personal relationships, I don't care what letters you have after your name.
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Post by roberta on Apr 30, 2019 20:31:36 GMT
I have less than my dh. He respects me and has NEVER said one word about it. This. We both have post grad education If a SO disrespects their partner for any reason that is a serious warning sign. There are many good reasons not to pursue higher education and obviously the amount of education a person has does not determine their worth. Some say: BS = bull sh*t MS = more sh*t PhD = piled high and deep |
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Post by tracyarts on Apr 30, 2019 20:36:20 GMT
More, I have a bachelor's degree, he only took a few classes at community college. He's really smart in practical ways. Problem solving, figuring things out, etc... I probably have better critical thinking and information gathering skills as a result of my education. We complement each other really well in terms of intellect.
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Montannie
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Posts: 3,486
Location: Big Sky Country
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Post by Montannie on Apr 30, 2019 20:39:42 GMT
I have more education. The only effect on the relationship is that I am asked to edit his letters.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 30, 2019 20:44:04 GMT
I have a master's degree, Jeremy has never attended a formal college, but has three different certifications. Two of those he earned while he was with me. He has dyslexia and wasn't diagnosed until high school. He doesn't read well. I helped him with the book work for two certifications. He took the test and passed the tests on his own. But I helped him learn the material. This is what a partner does. Neither of us throws disrespectful comments in the other's face over our educations.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Apr 30, 2019 20:46:17 GMT
We were equally educated.
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Post by blueeyedpups on Apr 30, 2019 20:49:02 GMT
DH and I are equally educated...same degrees from the same schools.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
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Post by likescarrots on Apr 30, 2019 20:50:49 GMT
He has a PhD. I have a masters. I think we both respect each other's knowledge and expertise both in our fields and in other areas.
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sharlag
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Apr 30, 2019 20:50:58 GMT
I think he has more. It matters more to him than it does to me. He's chasing his siblings in the degree race.
I don't feel belittled by him because of the disparity though.
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Post by missmcd on Apr 30, 2019 20:51:58 GMT
We both have our bachelor's degrees but, if you ask me, I'm the one with all the brains   |
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Anita
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Post by Anita on Apr 30, 2019 21:00:41 GMT
We are equally educated with master's degrees. He got his first. It never mattered to either of us. We spent most of our marriage without degrees of any kind and didn't pursue them until our kids were older. Even so, I can't imagine that making any difference at all. If it does, you're probably in the wrong relationship.
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Post by mustlovecats on Apr 30, 2019 21:00:46 GMT
Equally unless you count certifications. We both have master’s degrees and I am nationally certified. He has a PMP and several technical certifications.
I sometimes feel like I have less power because I make a lot less money than he does, but that’s about me not about him. He loved me and respected me when I was a college dropout working in retail so he has proven to me that it isn’t about education or status and if it is you’re in the wrong place.
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Post by Zee on Apr 30, 2019 21:00:59 GMT
We both have bachelor's degrees and it took us both about 20 years to get them. I would fully support him getting a master's degree and he has said the same to me, but I really don't think I want to pursue that at this time. Neither of us needs it at this point but it would be more beneficial to him than to me.
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Post by catmom on Apr 30, 2019 21:01:26 GMT
I have more formal education than DH. I'm working on my Masters while DH has a 2 year diploma plus certification in his field. He's very smart, but more practical and hands on.
Throwing (lack of) education in someone's face is really not nice. I don't think I could be with someone who showed so little respect for me.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 30, 2019 21:03:08 GMT
DH and I are equally educated, though through very different paths. My DD is more educated than her DH (he has a bachelors and she has completed her masters and is working on her national board certification) and I can't imagine her ever touting that to her husband. Your examples really seem more about a shitty personality trait than education. Yes, I would agree with that. I have met bf's daughter 4 times now and even he calls her the "ice queen." She just does not seem happy and that affects her interactions with others. As for my Ex-H, yah that describes him to a T. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 30, 2019 21:04:52 GMT
I have more formal education than DH. I'm working on my Masters while DH has a 2 year diploma plus certification in his field. He's very smart, but more practical and hands on. Throwing (lack of) education in someone's face is really not nice. I don't think I could be with someone who showed so little respect for me. I agree. Just one reason why my ex-H is no longer in my life. He couldn't respect my opinion unless he heard the same thing from someone with a degree...alrighty then. |
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Post by Zee on Apr 30, 2019 21:06:32 GMT
I should add, we both see each other as intelligent people but not in the same ways. He thinks in a different way than I do. He has a map in his head and is good with math and physics (he's an engineer). I am terrible at directions and don't care at all about physics or mechanics. I am better at creative writing, spelling, and natural sciences. I can't understand algebra but I do ok at geometry, which he's still better than me at but it was his least favorite math subject. We are both artistic but he is good with watercolors where I'm better at drawing. I think more quickly and he thinks more thoroughly. We are a good match.
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Post by Linda on Apr 30, 2019 21:08:48 GMT
I have a 4yr degree, DH has a 2yr - but he works in a professional field and I'm a sahm so it balances out.
My dad dropped out of school at 14 (in 1939) and my mum had a 4yr degree - I don't think it was ever an issue for them - Dad was super smart and should have had the opportunity for more education but poverty and then WW2 interfered.
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Post by busy on Apr 30, 2019 21:11:00 GMT
We’re equally educated. It has zero impact on our relationship beyond that we both value education and work to instill that value in our son.
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birdy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,516
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Post by birdy on Apr 30, 2019 21:11:09 GMT
I have a 4 year degree and a Masters degree
DH finished HS and went through an apprenticeship for his trade.
We don't really think anything of it for either of us. It was what was required for each of us to have the careers we chose.
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Post by lauradrumm on Apr 30, 2019 21:12:35 GMT
Both of us have BAs. Me from state university, hubby from private university
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Apr 30, 2019 21:13:54 GMT
I have more formal education. We respect each other's areas of expertise though, if that makes sense. If one of us has an authoritative opinion on a subject, we see that as correct and have no reason to disagree.
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2019 21:20:54 GMT
I have a BA, an MSW, and all but the dissertation for my Ph.D. He did not go beyond high school. However, he is an expert with 30yrs experience in his field, a stellar reputation, and can buy and sell me, paycheck-wise. He is also easily one of the most informed and reflective people I know. Me, after 30yrs in my field I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. 😋
And it never comes up. He's not insecure about stuff, and I'm not a bitch.
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Post by grate on Apr 30, 2019 21:47:24 GMT
I am more educated but he makes way more money (I am a teacher in a private school). He gets frustrated with how much education I have compared to money I make and hours I put in.
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Post by mrst on Apr 30, 2019 22:14:26 GMT
My ex dh had a PdD, but i did so much of it! I was looking up references, washing his glassware, helping him with his writing for about 3 years. And he stuck my nose in it every chance he got. I supported him financially for 5 years....for what! My present dh is about the same as me. It's the person, not the educational level that matters.
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