mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523 
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Post by mlana on Jun 29, 2019 4:43:33 GMT
Same shit, different day.
DH is supposed to walk our hallway every night for his daily exercise. We agreed - 5 sets of 12 laps, from one end of the hall to the other end. At the end of each set, he is supposed to send me a text telling me what set he just completed because when you do something every night it can be hard to remember if you just did tonight’s 3rd set or was that last night? Send a text each time and there’s no doubt. Simple, right? HA!
My mom got here a month ago and I was busy with her at night. I wasn’t always upstairs when DH did his laps. He forgets that I can hear him walking down the hall every time and I can tell when he goes all the way because of the floor creaks. I am a counter anyway, so I automatically start counting when he starts walking. No surprise, he cuts every lap short and then cuts the sets short and then just lies completely about having done a set. Missing a few won’t hurt so I shrug my shoulders and move on.
Over the 2 weeks Mom is here, he does this repeatedly, to the point he claims to have walked all 5 sets in 30 minutes, something he cannot do, not and still breathe. Again, trying to wait until Mom leaves, I don’t say a word. By the 2nd week his BP has gone up to the point he is just below his cutoff, but still, he fakes it.
Mom leaves.
I made a point of being upstairs every night when he gets up from his nap, so he can’t claim to have done any while I’m downstairs. The first night, it took 10 minutes to do half, that’s 6 laps, of the first set. I made no comment, just stood at the door and chatted with him, graciously counting aloud for him. No shortcuts, no cutting laps, by the end of the first set he was exhausted. I reminded him to text me the set number and went to sit down. I stood at the door for every set he did that night. He was furious, but smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
Every night that week he tried to claim he had done multiple sets before his nap, before I came upstairs, while I took 3 minutes to pee. Nope, I was upstairs before and immediately after his nap and I talked to him thru the bathroom door. Plus, no text!
This week his bp is back to normal and he can do a set without gasping. Last night he didn’t realize I was sitting in the living room where I can hear everything he does and he sent me a text that he had just done a set. Nope,not having it. I let him know that if he wanted that one to count, he had to do it. He was busted, he knew it, I knew it, but he wanted to argue. I pointed out that he didn’t have enough air left to argue when he actually did a set. He gave up and did the set.
Tonight, he didn’t send any texts as he did each set. I distinctly remember 2, but he claimed more. I agreed to count 2 even though he didn’t send the texts. He had a 2 year old temper tantrum in the hallway - I threatened to make him stay home and miss the movie tomorrow if he didn’t behave. The look on his face was priceless!
How simple is it to teach yourself to send a text when you complete a task? No arguments necessary - do the task, send a text. Seriously!?!? His bp is over 20 points lower when he does the walking consistently and his water pills are so much more effective. With CKD, every bp point and water pound is important, so why am I having to fight with him? Dumbass
And no, I can’t let this be his choice. Not when he is the sole bread earner at this point. Yes, I’m looking for work but no, I haven’t had any nibbles recently. Yes, he’s a grown man except when he isn’t.
If you are raising kids and you don’t make them do the hard things in life, this is what you get. My MIL did me no favors, bless her heart.
Marcy
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 29, 2019 4:56:47 GMT
DS, you are 14. Your friends are 15. I am stretching it letting you guys stay at the Stampeded (carnival) until midnight. Be grateful and quit trying to extend it later.
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Post by mom on Jun 29, 2019 5:18:07 GMT
My vent tonight is my anxiety is high. Nothing is truly wrong, but I am anxious over everything (and over nothing!) tonight. Things that don't matter. I hate that I am this way. I wish I could just go to sleep, like most people, and not lay awake worrying about things that don't matter.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,502
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Jun 29, 2019 5:36:33 GMT
For the first time, I have a heavy period after my usual light ones that lasts 5 days. I had a day or so off, now bleeding again. 14 days since originally started bleeding. I do have fibroids but never caused a problem. Maybe they're acting up or perimenopause? Very low, constant pelvic pain unrelieved by ibuprofen.
So annoyed!
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
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Post by mlana on Jun 29, 2019 6:04:18 GMT
My vent tonight is my anxiety is high. Nothing is truly wrong, but I am anxious over everything (and over nothing!) tonight. Things that don't matter. I hate that I am this way. I wish I could just go to sleep, like most people, and not lay awake worrying about things that don't matter. You have my utmost sympathy. When that happens to me, I find myself with a sense of dread that starts building as soon as it gets dark. I get anxious about getting anxious! Are you able to take a Xanax or other anti-anxiety med for it? I usually start them the 3rd night out so I don’t fall into the anxiety loop. They don’t always help me sleep, but they do ease the effects of the anxiety. Take care! Marcy |
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
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Post by mlana on Jun 29, 2019 6:07:37 GMT
For the first time, I have a heavy period after my usual light ones that lasts 5 days. I had a day or so off, now bleeding again. 14 days since originally started bleeding. I do have fibroids but never caused a problem. Maybe they're acting up or perimenopause? Very low, constant pelvic pain unrelieved by ibuprofen. So annoyed! That sucks big time. I’m sorry it’s happening to you. My DD has a condition that causes this. Her GYN prescribed something that is similar to Plan B that stopped the bleeding. It happens so frequently that DD has to be treated for anemia. I hope this resolves for you soon. Take care, Marcy |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 29, 2019 9:48:11 GMT
Marcy is your DH suffering from depression? With so many things going on it wouldn't shock me. And then it might be super taxing to do the reps. And he might be forgetting to send the texts. With all those health challenges he is having, I would totally not be shocked.
My vent is that the very worst thing about mental illness is that when you say something people don't want to hear, they dismiss you. They use your mental illness as an excuse to not hear your viewpoint. And it doesn't matter how polite or rational you are, it's just you being too emotional. I'm so tired of this.
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Post by quinmm14 on Jun 29, 2019 10:39:00 GMT
My vent is my dh thinking he can fix everything himself around the house. His latest? Now he thinks he's a plumber. I do appreciate the fact that he is willing to attempt the repair, but I am not willing to go without a kitchen sink for any longer.
The sink has been draining slow for about a week or so, I mentioned it to him and suggested we call someone to take care of it, his reply was to pour a crap ton of stuff down the drain, that resulted in a total clog. That was Tuesday. This is Saturday. I still have a clog despite his three trips to Lowes, one trip to the local hardware store, and numerous swears (both his and mine). And the fun part of all this is he thinks I enjoy being his plumber assistant. I do not.
He drives me insane when he does this, and always ends up costing more money than if we'd just call the professionals to start with.
He mentioned the other day he was thinking about getting a whole house generator, he *thought* he'd just tie it into the house so it would kick on automatically and insisted he knew how to do this by himself. I told him there is no way in hell he is messing around with any type of electricity because 1) I don't want him electrocuted and 2) I do not want my house burned to the ground. I did win that one and the company will install it and do all the electrical work.
I have no idea why he does this, we can afford to hire the repairmen (we actually can't afford not to after some of his repairs have ended up costing more after he does his thing and then we end up getting the professional anyway), I don't know if he just likes to think he knows how to do everything or what it is. Or maybe it's a guy thing.
I told him today is it, he gets it fixed or I have a plumber on Monday (and god help me, he was watching How to be your own plumber YouTube videos when I went to bed last night...)
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,502
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Jun 29, 2019 13:36:42 GMT
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on Jun 29, 2019 13:43:24 GMT
My house is on the market for sale. I got a contract with a lovely young couple. Inspections were conducted - and I am informed that my unfinished basement has mold. The couple cancels the contract.
In reading the inspection report, I find a number of items with which I totally disagree or which I think are patently false -- but also find a completely inflammatory report. Two example:1) The inspector says a window will not open and is painted shut. There is a photograph of the window. I walk to the window and open it without any problem -- further the woodwork is stained, not painted. I send a photo of the fully opened window to my agent. 2) The report talks about certain KIND of plumbing fittings as being a part of a class action law suit, but inspector doesn't know if THESE fittings were included, but that area should be watched and there are no leaks.
So - as to the mold - I do not see anything. I do not smell anything. I know it is an inflammatory topic - I've conducted at least 5 trials where a tenant is claiming they can't live in a unit, or were "damaged" due to mold. Knock wood - I haven't lost any of them. If I had suspected there was mold, it would have been cleaned up before the house was listed. I grew up in the country in Missouri, my bedroom was below grade - my shoes, (and pretty much everything, but the shoes showed it firs) always had mildew on them which we just brushed off and went on.
The mold inspection report shows pictures of a white-ish substance - but I can't see it anywhere in the basement. I know that doesn't make any difference -- so I start calling inspectors and mold remediation companies.
My vent -- all this mold shit is a total scam. For these "remediators" - there is no stated educational path, no licensure or certification, no regulation ... Yet I will have to pay a ransom to some Ya-Hoo for his home made letterhead to say that my basement and the mildew has been "cleaned". Oh - he might wear a disposable white coverall and have a fan - but it is still bleach and water in a spray bottle. A mold "inspector" can attend a real estate house inspection, say there is mold AND immediately place a bid on the remediation. (And, as further insult - or potential truth disguised as a sales point - this company says that they have a mold sniffing DOG - the only one in the industry! -- and there are a LOT of words in that sentence that should be put into quotes as being other than what we'd consider standard definitions, reasonable or anything other than hissy-fit inducing! )
!!!!!!!!!
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Post by papersilly on Jun 29, 2019 13:50:36 GMT
My vent tonight is my anxiety is high. Nothing is truly wrong, but I am anxious over everything (and over nothing!) tonight. Things that don't matter. I hate that I am this way. I wish I could just go to sleep, like most people, and not lay awake worrying about things that don't matter. This is me! I went to bed feeling anxious but was glad to finally fall asleep. I woke up refreshed for a few minutes until I was reminded of what made me feel anxious. And the cycle starts again. Ugh |
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Post by disneypal on Jun 29, 2019 13:50:46 GMT
mlana - I totally get your vent...Can you do the laps with your DH? That way you can ensure he is doing it, plus you are getting some exercise too 
My vent is that it is Saturday and I have to work - but none of my other co-workers ever work on Saturday. I have to work on Saturday because during the week, I am pulled in 100 directions - co-workers come to me for EVERYTHING - from asking how to record a financial transaction, to problems with their husbands, to issues with their computers now working properly. I don't know how I got to be the go-to person but I can't get MY work done because I'm constantly assisting them.
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Post by gryroagain on Jun 29, 2019 14:00:05 GMT
So I’m getting divorced. DH wants to keep one dog, but only after youngest DD ripped him a new one when she heard I was taking him. He is, after all, DHs dog- I had a home for him but he wanted to foster fail.
I walk him during the week- I’m not working right now, DH is, no reason I can’t. But the weekends? Nope. And he gets no walks. He won’t poop in our little garden, he must walk or he uses a pee pad inside (which is nasty, but he was a Korean apartment dog previously and hard core pee pad trained). So, House pooping. Gross, but a known problem if he doesn’t walk amd DH never, ever takes him.
Tonight we had some friends over, and he pooped in the house on his pad because no walk🙄
I’m going to have to take him with me. DH is not an appropriate dog owner and he only wants to keep him because DD shamed him.
I’m just pissed because he is such an effing infant.
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Post by beaglemom on Jun 29, 2019 16:02:23 GMT
Every year I tell myself I am not going to get my hopes up for my birthday. Every year I am disappointed. Dh tries to claim that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. This year he had a man cold. I got up and got the kids ready for camp, took the big kids to camp and took the little kids with me. He was still asleep when we got back from taking the big kids. Then he went to the office to "work." Mumbled out "happy birthday." Wandered out at one point when I was furiously prepping for a meeting that I was having at the house and grabbed some food and then went back to the office. I put the two littles down for nap, the 3-year-old never actually napped. The people I had coming over arrived, we had a lovely lunch and meeting - and they gave me a hard time for not telling them it was my birthday. I told them I wanted it that day because otherwise, I would have just been hanging out by myself all day.
Then cleaned up everything after they left and went to pick up the big kids. Dh wandered out to say hi to the kids and then went back into his office, where he was playing video games. I dealt with the kids. At one point he asked about dinner and I said we could just do leftovers since we had a bunch. He wandered off again. I ended up cooking dinner. Earlier in the day, I had started making a cake (I love to bake), but then I felt really lame for making myself a cake so I didn't finish it. After did he asked where the cake was and I told him I didn't finish it.
He went upstairs to go to the bathroom while I was cleaning up from dinner and dealing with laundry and my parents showed up. Total surprise and I burst into tears. They hadn't called yet so I was feeling down that not even my parents had called. They brought some lovely flowers, cards, and some little fun thing. They were there for a good 15 minutes before dh appeared.
So the next morning he says he put on the calendar for Sunday that we are going to my parents to do birthday stuff. So we'll see how that goes. I did text my mom to ask if I could bring my cake - I have been asking for the last 5 years to make my own cake and she always tells me no and then buys something that isn't nearly as good as my cake. She said I could bring it this year, so I am happy about that!
So Friday morning I spent probably too much buying some custom fabric, I'm justifying it with the fact that I am 99% sure he still hasn't gotten me anything and if he ends up getting me anything it will probably be another board game or something like that. Which he has done the last 2-3 years and we have yet to play any of the ones he got me.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 29, 2019 16:09:08 GMT
mlana - I totally get your vent...Can you do the laps with your DH? That way you can ensure he is doing it, plus you are getting some exercise too
My vent is that it is Saturday and I have to work - but none of my other co-workers ever work on Saturday. I have to work on Saturday because during the week, I am pulled in 100 directions - co-workers come to me for EVERYTHING - from asking how to record a financial transaction, to problems with their husbands, to issues with their computers now working properly. I don't know how I got to be the go-to person but I can't get MY work done because I'm constantly assisting them.
can you tell them you dont have time right now? |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jun 29, 2019 16:15:28 GMT
When you use that condescending tone of voice on me like I'm a fucking 12 yr kid I instantly want to fucking junk punch you! I don't know where your precious fucking blanket is and I didn't throw it out but as per usual my words mean dick.
It put me in a really pissy mood so guess what go to your uncle's funeral today by your fucking self because I'm in no mood to put up with your hillbilly assholian family.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,382
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jun 29, 2019 16:15:55 GMT
My house is on the market for sale. I got a contract with a lovely young couple. Inspections were conducted - and I am informed that my unfinished basement has mold. The couple cancels the contract. In reading the inspection report, I find a number of items with which I totally disagree or which I think are patently false -- but also find a completely inflammatory report. Two example:1) The inspector says a window will not open and is painted shut. There is a photograph of the window. I walk to the window and open it without any problem -- further the woodwork is stained, not painted. I send a photo of the fully opened window to my agent. 2) The report talks about certain KIND of plumbing fittings as being a part of a class action law suit, but inspector doesn't know if THESE fittings were included, but that area should be watched and there are no leaks. So - as to the mold - I do not see anything. I do not smell anything. I know it is an inflammatory topic - I've conducted at least 5 trials where a tenant is claiming they can't live in a unit, or were "damaged" due to mold. Knock wood - I haven't lost any of them. If I had suspected there was mold, it would have been cleaned up before the house was listed. I grew up in the country in Missouri, my bedroom was below grade - my shoes, (and pretty much everything, but the shoes showed it firs) always had mildew on them which we just brushed off and went on. The mold inspection report shows pictures of a white-ish substance - but I can't see it anywhere in the basement. I know that doesn't make any difference -- so I start calling inspectors and mold remediation companies. My vent -- all this mold shit is a total scam. For these "remediators" - there is no stated educational path, no licensure or certification, no regulation ... Yet I will have to pay a ransom to some Ya-Hoo for his home made letterhead to say that my basement and the mildew has been "cleaned". Oh - he might wear a disposable white coverall and have a fan - but it is still bleach and water in a spray bottle. A mold "inspector" can attend a real estate house inspection, say there is mold AND immediately place a bid on the remediation. (And, as further insult - or potential truth disguised as a sales point - this company says that they have a mold sniffing DOG - the only one in the industry! -- and there are a LOT of words in that sentence that should be put into quotes as being other than what we'd consider standard definitions, reasonable or anything other than hissy-fit inducing! ) !!!!!!!!! Who picked the inspector? It might be cheaper to have it reinspected by an honest inspector. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 29, 2019 16:21:23 GMT
Every year I tell myself I am not going to get my hopes up for my birthday. Every year I am disappointed. Dh tries to claim that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. This year he had a man cold. I got up and got the kids ready for camp, took the big kids to camp and took the little kids with me. He was still asleep when we got back from taking the big kids. Then he went to the office to "work." Mumbled out "happy birthday." Wandered out at one point when I was furiously prepping for a meeting that I was having at the house and grabbed some food and then went back to the office. I put the two littles down for nap, the 3-year-old never actually napped. The people I had coming over arrived, we had a lovely lunch and meeting - and they gave me a hard time for not telling them it was my birthday. I told them I wanted it that day because otherwise, I would have just been hanging out by myself all day. Then cleaned up everything after they left and went to pick up the big kids. Dh wandered out to say hi to the kids and then went back into his office, where he was playing video games. I dealt with the kids. At one point he asked about dinner and I said we could just do leftovers since we had a bunch. He wandered off again. I ended up cooking dinner. Earlier in the day, I had started making a cake (I love to bake), but then I felt really lame for making myself a cake so I didn't finish it. After did he asked where the cake was and I told him I didn't finish it. He went upstairs to go to the bathroom while I was cleaning up from dinner and dealing with laundry and my parents showed up. Total surprise and I burst into tears. They hadn't called yet so I was feeling down that not even my parents had called. They brought some lovely flowers, cards, and some little fun thing. They were there for a good 15 minutes before dh appeared. So the next morning he says he put on the calendar for Sunday that we are going to my parents to do birthday stuff. So we'll see how that goes. I did text my mom to ask if I could bring my cake - I have been asking for the last 5 years to make my own cake and she always tells me no and then buys something that isn't nearly as good as my cake. She said I could bring it this year, so I am happy about that! So Friday morning I spent probably too much buying some custom fabric, I'm justifying it with the fact that I am 99% sure he still hasn't gotten me anything and if he ends up getting me anything it will probably be another board game or something like that. Which he has done the last 2-3 years and we have yet to play any of the ones he got me. that sounds like it sucks. I would have been a bitch and called him out on it. |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jun 29, 2019 16:23:22 GMT
Every year I tell myself I am not going to get my hopes up for my birthday. Every year I am disappointed. Dh tries to claim that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. This year he had a man cold. I got up and got the kids ready for camp, took the big kids to camp and took the little kids with me. He was still asleep when we got back from taking the big kids. Then he went to the office to "work." Mumbled out "happy birthday." Wandered out at one point when I was furiously prepping for a meeting that I was having at the house and grabbed some food and then went back to the office. I put the two littles down for nap, the 3-year-old never actually napped. The people I had coming over arrived, we had a lovely lunch and meeting - and they gave me a hard time for not telling them it was my birthday. I told them I wanted it that day because otherwise, I would have just been hanging out by myself all day. Then cleaned up everything after they left and went to pick up the big kids. Dh wandered out to say hi to the kids and then went back into his office, where he was playing video games. I dealt with the kids. At one point he asked about dinner and I said we could just do leftovers since we had a bunch. He wandered off again. I ended up cooking dinner. Earlier in the day, I had started making a cake (I love to bake), but then I felt really lame for making myself a cake so I didn't finish it. After did he asked where the cake was and I told him I didn't finish it. He went upstairs to go to the bathroom while I was cleaning up from dinner and dealing with laundry and my parents showed up. Total surprise and I burst into tears. They hadn't called yet so I was feeling down that not even my parents had called. They brought some lovely flowers, cards, and some little fun thing. They were there for a good 15 minutes before dh appeared. So the next morning he says he put on the calendar for Sunday that we are going to my parents to do birthday stuff. So we'll see how that goes. I did text my mom to ask if I could bring my cake - I have been asking for the last 5 years to make my own cake and she always tells me no and then buys something that isn't nearly as good as my cake. She said I could bring it this year, so I am happy about that! So Friday morning I spent probably too much buying some custom fabric, I'm justifying it with the fact that I am 99% sure he still hasn't gotten me anything and if he ends up getting me anything it will probably be another board game or something like that. Which he has done the last 2-3 years and we have yet to play any of the ones he got me. that sounds like it sucks. I would have been a bitch and called him out on it. Yep me too I would have left him with the kids and went to a movie and dinner on my own. Sorry it sucked! |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jun 29, 2019 16:26:47 GMT
mlana - I totally get your vent...Can you do the laps with your DH? That way you can ensure he is doing it, plus you are getting some exercise too
My vent is that it is Saturday and I have to work - but none of my other co-workers ever work on Saturday. I have to work on Saturday because during the week, I am pulled in 100 directions - co-workers come to me for EVERYTHING - from asking how to record a financial transaction, to problems with their husbands, to issues with their computers now working properly. I don't know how I got to be the go-to person but I can't get MY work done because I'm constantly assisting them.
Is this a regular thing? How often are you working extra Saturdays? I would try to formalise the help, put a sign on your desk, while the sign is up you can't be disturbed. You will make yourself available at half ten and midday and two o clock for ten mins, in the meantime they have to work it out as best they can. They are not trying to solve their own problems because you are the easy option at no cost to themselves. As for the personal problems, lunchtime only and only if you are interested in hearing about their husbands. Seriously, can't think of anything worse, I keep work and home very separate. Of course, what works in your work environment depends on so much, what is trying to be achieved, training needs, staffing levels etc but it is not fair that you are being taken advantage of by your co-workers. You don't have to say no but you can say later (at your convenience) |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,382
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jun 29, 2019 16:27:36 GMT
I’m mad at myself for being an idiot. I had spinal fusion done about three weeks ago. I was having a pity party because neither of my little darlings has seen me since before my surgery. My YDS texted me the day after the surgery and the next time I heard from him was two weeks later. My ODS texts or calls me every few days but still, I live 6 miles from him, you’d think he could just stop in to see if I need anything. He has a toddler and a long commute to work so I cut him more slack than the YDS. My DIL finally sent me a text a couple of says ago. I’m assuming my DS has kept her in the loop but damn.
I went outside to fill a bird feeder. While out there I noticed once again that this one particular flower has taken over the flower bed, there must have been 75 of them. They are really tall, like 48”, so I pulled every damned last one of them. Am I supposed to be doing this? Hell no, that’s why I’m mad at myself. I’m just sick and tired of not being able to do my usual stuff. Now I’m just hoping I didn’t screw anything up. I guess I showed them didn’t I. I’m an idiot.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 29, 2019 16:28:56 GMT
Allergies are kicking my ass this week
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jun 29, 2019 16:38:32 GMT
I’m mad at myself for being an idiot. I had spinal fusion done about three weeks ago. I was having a pity party because neither of my little darlings has seen me since before my surgery. My YDS texted me the day after the surgery and the next time I heard from him was two weeks later. My ODS texts or calls me every few days but still, I live 6 miles from him, you’d think he could just stop in to see if I need anything. He has a toddler and a long commute to work so I cut him more slack than the YDS. My DIL finally sent me a text a couple of says ago. I’m assuming my DS has kept her in the loop but damn. I went outside to fill a bird feeder. While out there I noticed once again that this one particular flower has taken over the flower bed, there must have been 75 of them. They are really tall, like 48”, so I pulled every damned last one of them. Am I supposed to be doing this? Hell no, that’s why I’m mad at myself. I’m just sick and tired of not being able to do my usual stuff. Now I’m just hoping I didn’t screw anything up. I guess I showed them didn’t I. I’m an idiot. I'm sorry! You're entitled to a pity party, your kids are like mine live in their own little world where everything revolves around them. Sadly it's that generation, I haven't met many who don't live with a sense of entitlement and selfishness! I hope you didn't damage anything but don't beat yourself up. |
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Post by mrssmith on Jun 29, 2019 17:05:17 GMT
My vent tonight is my anxiety is high. Nothing is truly wrong, but I am anxious over everything (and over nothing!) tonight. Things that don't matter. I hate that I am this way. I wish I could just go to sleep, like most people, and not lay awake worrying about things that don't matter. This is me! I went to bed feeling anxious but was glad to finally fall asleep. I woke up refreshed for a few minutes until I was reminded of what made me feel anxious. And the cycle starts again. Ugh My sister has been doing a meditation app when she can't fall asleep. It takes practice, but she says it's worth it. I've used the free ones from Calm. I need to start doing it too! |
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Post by mrssmith on Jun 29, 2019 17:12:21 GMT
mlana - I totally get your vent...Can you do the laps with your DH? That way you can ensure he is doing it, plus you are getting some exercise too
My vent is that it is Saturday and I have to work - but none of my other co-workers ever work on Saturday. I have to work on Saturday because during the week, I am pulled in 100 directions - co-workers come to me for EVERYTHING - from asking how to record a financial transaction, to problems with their husbands, to issues with their computers now working properly. I don't know how I got to be the go-to person but I can't get MY work done because I'm constantly assisting them.
Is this a regular thing? How often are you working extra Saturdays? I would try to formalise the help, put a sign on your desk, while the sign is up you can't be disturbed. You will make yourself available at half ten and midday and two o clock for ten mins, in the meantime they have to work it out as best they can. They are not trying to solve their own problems because you are the easy option at no cost to themselves. As for the personal problems, lunchtime only and only if you are interested in hearing about their husbands. Seriously, can't think of anything worse, I keep work and home very separate. Of course, what works in your work environment depends on so much, what is trying to be achieved, training needs, staffing levels etc but it is not fair that you are being taken advantage of by your co-workers. You don't have to say no but you can say later (at your convenience) I think you need to set some boundaries mlana. Is there an IT person? They should be helping with computers or simply tell the person you can't help right now, and direct them to ask another co-worker. Your co-workers can all go out to lunch and commisserate about their personal lives tbh. You can say "i'm sorry to hear that, I really have to get xyz done by 5:00" or something. Tell them outright that too many distractions are taking away from your work time and you have deadlines to meet. If you have a door, close it and put on do not disturb sign. If you're in a cube, put on noise canceling headphones. I'm sure that some of them must have work left undone if they are up and about asking all these questions! And as you said, that does not seem to compel them to work on Saturdays. |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jun 29, 2019 17:12:35 GMT
I’m mad at myself for being an idiot. I had spinal fusion done about three weeks ago. I was having a pity party because neither of my little darlings has seen me since before my surgery. My YDS texted me the day after the surgery and the next time I heard from him was two weeks later. My ODS texts or calls me every few days but still, I live 6 miles from him, you’d think he could just stop in to see if I need anything. He has a toddler and a long commute to work so I cut him more slack than the YDS. My DIL finally sent me a text a couple of says ago. I’m assuming my DS has kept her in the loop but damn. I went outside to fill a bird feeder. While out there I noticed once again that this one particular flower has taken over the flower bed, there must have been 75 of them. They are really tall, like 48”, so I pulled every damned last one of them. Am I supposed to be doing this? Hell no, that’s why I’m mad at myself. I’m just sick and tired of not being able to do my usual stuff. Now I’m just hoping I didn’t screw anything up. I guess I showed them didn’t I. I’m an idiot. You strike me as a capable, strong woman. Do you think your children see you the same way and can't even imagine that you need help? I will say that I think it's terrible that they have not seen you since before the surgery. That is quite alien to me. Can you force their hands and extend an invite to Sunday brunch with easy peasy food? Maybe if they actually see you they might realise the extent of the surgery. Hugs, you deserve better treatment. |
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Post by LisaDV on Jun 29, 2019 17:18:13 GMT
beaglemom, I'm so sorry that you had a sucky birthday! I think you should make a plan with someone who would give you the attention you deserve next year. Leave the kids with DH or take the kids with to teach them that celebrating your birthday is just as important as celebrating theirs. tincin, I hope you didn't damage anything.
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Post by elaine on Jun 29, 2019 17:41:46 GMT
I had surgery last Thursday (the 20th) and am not allowed to sleep on my side or my stomach for 6 weeks. Back only. The problem is that I am a lifelong side sleeper. And it is literally impossible for me to sleep more than 4 continuous hours on my back, if I am lucky. So, since the surgery, I can only sleep in 2-4 hour increments before I have to get up because my back is killing me.
I have spent $75 on two different lumbar pillows supposed to help with this issue and I have an adjustable bed, which I have set in every possible position, but nothing touches my back pain after two-four hours except getting up and moving around or sitting.
I’m exhausted.
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Post by elaine on Jun 29, 2019 17:46:31 GMT
Same shit, different day. DH is supposed to walk our hallway every night for his daily exercise. We agreed - 5 sets of 12 laps, from one end of the hall to the other end. At the end of each set, he is supposed to send me a text telling me what set he just completed because when you do something every night it can be hard to remember if you just did tonight’s 3rd set or was that last night? Send a text each time and there’s no doubt. Simple, right? HA! My mom got here a month ago and I was busy with her at night. I wasn’t always upstairs when DH did his laps. He forgets that I can hear him walking down the hall every time and I can tell when he goes all the way because of the floor creaks. I am a counter anyway, so I automatically start counting when he starts walking. No surprise, he cuts every lap short and then cuts the sets short and then just lies completely about having done a set. Missing a few won’t hurt so I shrug my shoulders and move on. Over the 2 weeks Mom is here, he does this repeatedly, to the point he claims to have walked all 5 sets in 30 minutes, something he cannot do, not and still breathe. Again, trying to wait until Mom leaves, I don’t say a word. By the 2nd week his BP has gone up to the point he is just below his cutoff, but still, he fakes it. Mom leaves. I made a point of being upstairs every night when he gets up from his nap, so he can’t claim to have done any while I’m downstairs. The first night, it took 10 minutes to do half, that’s 6 laps, of the first set. I made no comment, just stood at the door and chatted with him, graciously counting aloud for him. No shortcuts, no cutting laps, by the end of the first set he was exhausted. I reminded him to text me the set number and went to sit down. I stood at the door for every set he did that night. He was furious, but smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Every night that week he tried to claim he had done multiple sets before his nap, before I came upstairs, while I took 3 minutes to pee. Nope, I was upstairs before and immediately after his nap and I talked to him thru the bathroom door. Plus, no text! This week his bp is back to normal and he can do a set without gasping. Last night he didn’t realize I was sitting in the living room where I can hear everything he does and he sent me a text that he had just done a set. Nope,not having it. I let him know that if he wanted that one to count, he had to do it. He was busted, he knew it, I knew it, but he wanted to argue. I pointed out that he didn’t have enough air left to argue when he actually did a set. He gave up and did the set. Tonight, he didn’t send any texts as he did each set. I distinctly remember 2, but he claimed more. I agreed to count 2 even though he didn’t send the texts. He had a 2 year old temper tantrum in the hallway - I threatened to make him stay home and miss the movie tomorrow if he didn’t behave. The look on his face was priceless! How simple is it to teach yourself to send a text when you complete a task? No arguments necessary - do the task, send a text. Seriously!?!? His bp is over 20 points lower when he does the walking consistently and his water pills are so much more effective. With CKD, every bp point and water pound is important, so why am I having to fight with him? Dumbass And no, I can’t let this be his choice. Not when he is the sole bread earner at this point. Yes, I’m looking for work but no, I haven’t had any nibbles recently. Yes, he’s a grown man except when he isn’t. If you are raising kids and you don’t make them do the hard things in life, this is what you get. My MIL did me no favors, bless her heart. Marcy Marcy, your husband doesn’t deserve you. You are an amazing woman and incredibly strong. It hurts me to see that you continue to care more about your husband’s health than he does. It is years now and must be exhausting for you. And only to have your efforts met with toddler-worthy tantrums. (((Hugs))) |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jun 29, 2019 17:54:11 GMT
I had surgery last Thursday (the 20th) and am not allowed to sleep on my side or my stomach for 6 weeks. Back only. The problem is that I am a lifelong side sleeper. And it is literally impossible for me to sleep more than 4 continuous hours on my back, if I am lucky. So, since the surgery, I can only sleep in 2-4 hour increments before I have to get up because my back is killing me. I have spent $75 on two different lumbar pillows supposed to help with this issue and I have an adjustable bed, which I have set in every possible position, but nothing touches my back pain after two-four hours except getting up and moving around or sitting. I’m exhausted. I'm sorry. Is sleeping in a large armchair an option or sleeping during the day? I know that is probably hard as you have big commitments to your sons. Big hugs |
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