Deleted
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Apr 26, 2024 14:25:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2019 12:56:23 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice View AttachmentYou look AMAZING! And I am not just saying that, you really do.
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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Post by trollie on Jul 16, 2019 13:41:22 GMT
You look great. He's an ass. I would have left in that situation too. (Even if you didn't look great, no one deserves that kind of treatment.) Move on. I wouldn't even want an apology from him.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 16, 2019 13:45:56 GMT
Your walking out was such a classy response to a tacky person. I admire you.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
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Post by Peamac on Jul 16, 2019 19:53:29 GMT
Yes- of course he owes you an apology! But he likely won't give you one. If he knows you want one, he REALLY likely won't give you one.
I think walking out without doing anything to him or his stuff was a mature response on your part.
(((Hugs))) and kudos to you for leaving him!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jul 16, 2019 20:25:11 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice View AttachmentGirl, you’ve got nothing to worry about!! After seeing your photo, His comments were more likely and attempt to make you feel badly—but only because he KNEW he was inferior—he probably figured to keep you from showing off a great body to anyone else, he’d try to keep you down and feeling badly so that you’d wait to see him again!! He’s such a loser! And your new suit that you left behind—I’d definitely chip in and buy you a new one!!
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Post by librarylady on Jul 16, 2019 20:41:33 GMT
..as an aside.. An interview with Liz Taylor in which she said men like a woman to have a little tummy and that is why she didn't worry about not having a flat tummy.
I figure if men found Liz Taylor sexy with a little tummy, it works for me. hahahha
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 16, 2019 20:44:47 GMT
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Post by Lexica on Jul 16, 2019 20:49:11 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice Good heavens, THAT is your major belly?? I should send you a photo of mine at my highest weight to show him what a big belly really looks like! I have joined Weight Watchers and am in the process of getting my weight back to where I want it, but I am doing that for me, not because someone told me I needed it. I just want to feel stronger and have more stamina. I already have a few impediments to regular activities that I can’t change (chronic pain) but the weight that I gained over these last years after my accident is one that I can change. I want to be the best me. And my belly after losing 25 pounds so far is still bigger than yours!
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 16, 2019 21:06:28 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice Good heavens, THAT is your major belly?? I should send you a photo of mine at my highest weight to show him what a big belly really looks like! I have joined Weight Watchers and am in the process of getting my weight back to where I want it, but I am doing that for me, not because someone told me I needed it. I just want to feel stronger and have more stamina. I already have a few impediments to regular activities that I can’t change (chronic pain) but the weight that I gained over these last years after my accident is one that I can change. I want to be the best me. And my belly after losing 25 pounds so far is still bigger than yours! As it is now, he himself looks he is six or seven months pregnant so he just has to look at himself to see what a real belly looks like. I know it's a huge thing for him and that he hates what he looks like now: he talked about it several times each day. He says he wants and needs to lose weight as well and used that to justify his comments (he said I am only mentioning it because I also need to lose weight... Maybe, but you are also a rude bastard). I should have told him... I might consider listening to you and your advice when you look like you are three months pregnant 😂😂😂 Joking aside, I wouldn't have done it, because it is rude and insensitive. He already knows it's a problem and already hates himself, there is no reason for me to make it worse.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 16, 2019 21:20:14 GMT
Good heavens, THAT is your major belly?? I should send you a photo of mine at my highest weight to show him what a big belly really looks like! I have joined Weight Watchers and am in the process of getting my weight back to where I want it, but I am doing that for me, not because someone told me I needed it. I just want to feel stronger and have more stamina. I already have a few impediments to regular activities that I can’t change (chronic pain) but the weight that I gained over these last years after my accident is one that I can change. I want to be the best me. And my belly after losing 25 pounds so far is still bigger than yours! As it is now, he himself looks he is six or seven months pregnant so he just has to look at himself to see what a real belly looks like. I know it's a huge thing for him and that he hates what he looks like now: he talked about it several times each day. He says he wants and needs to lose weight as well and used that to justify his comments (he said I am only mentioning it because I also need to lose weight... Maybe, but you are also a rude bastard). I should have told him... I might consider listening to you and your advice when you look like you are three months pregnant 😂😂😂 Joking aside, I wouldn't have done it, because it is rude and insensitive. He already knows it's a problem and already hates himself, there is no reason for me to make it worse. Right so to make his asshole self feel better for looking like an ox himself he belittles you. Did he honestly think you’d bang him after saying that? Rhetorical. For the record you look wonderful in your bathing suit and if there is anywhere soft on you it might be your left baby toe. You have a kick ass body. Flaunt it.
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Post by Lexica on Jul 16, 2019 21:57:43 GMT
When my son was little and witnessed some bullying in his school, we had a discussion about how some people find it too much effort to do the hard work it takes on themselves. I likened it to a mountain top. Rather than climb the mountain to get to the top, they will knock at the mountain until it is down to their level, continue until it is below their level, and then stand back and say “Look, I am so much higher than this mountain!” I told him that is what the bully was doing, trying to take others down so that he felt he was getting bigger. He seemed to understand it and said he was going to tell the kid that got bullied so that he wouldn’t be afraid.
Trying to say you need improvement is an okay thing to say because he admits that HE needs improvement isn’t the way to go. Your dude is just a bully that never gained the wisdom to climb the mountain for himself. And I appreciate that you don’t want to say something rude to him but sometimes a simple zinger to shock them into seeing what they are doing is the fastest way to get them to stop. Done immediately and with some humor, it can open their eyes to how they are being perceived. The friend that I commented on his bald head actually said “Ouch!” And I said, yeah, ouch from me too. He immediately apologized and never repeated any negative observations around me again. But I can see how you don’t want to stoop to the hurtful comments yourself. It might have had an effect since he refused to have any emotional (code for genuine?) conversation.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,589
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 16, 2019 22:03:27 GMT
I started reading your post and got to the part about him being upset about being 50 and was ready to type “RUN! RUN FAST!” And then I kept reading and thought: “RUN FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF SOUND!”
I’m so glad you did. Don’t talk to him ever again. Don’t wait for an apology, don’t give him a second chance. He has shown you who he is and that is a horrible person. Deep down to his core. Wow. What a total douche.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 16, 2019 22:05:04 GMT
He's an asshole and I promise would have done exactly what you did. Life is too short to subject yourself to someone like that.
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,889
Location: Sacramento, Ca
Member is Online
Aug 29, 2014 3:09:48 GMT
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Post by gramma on Jul 16, 2019 22:22:11 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice Girl, you’ve got nothing to worry about!! After seeing your photo, His comments were more likely and attempt to make you feel badly—but only because he KNEW he was inferior—he probably figured to keep you from showing off a great body to anyone else, he’d try to keep you down and feeling badly so that you’d wait to see him again!! He’s such a loser! And your new suit that you left behind—I’d definitely chip in and buy you a new one!! I've been following this thread and trying to keep my "virtual" mouth shut - but - - - . He's lucky you didn't go back at him criticizing certain parts of his anatomy.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 16, 2019 22:22:55 GMT
Well I was bitchy at some point. During the second conversation about training in general and my belly also, I said "You know what? You might be careful what you wish for, because if I train more and get super hot, maybe somebody will snatch me while you are away." Oh that pissed him off big time. He replied very quickly and in an angry tone "well, same for me if I lose the weight" 😁 That's it dude, IF. IF. Trust me, he knows that at the moment, I look way better than he does, and it upsets him biiiiiiig time because he used to be a real handsome and attractive guy who surely didn't have a hard time picking up hot girls. I myself still find him handsome, but reality is, these girls must be way more difficult to find now. Most of you are right. By putting me down he ensures I feel like I don't deserve better and he can stay with a girl who looks good, which shows all "Look, I've been able to snatch this girl!" 🙄
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Post by tinydogmafia on Jul 16, 2019 22:40:11 GMT
Joking aside, I wouldn't have done it, because it is rude and insensitive. He already knows it's a problem and already hates himself, there is no reason for me to make it worse. You are seriously a class act. I would have been so mad at him, that it would have taken every ounce of restraint I've ever had, not to let him have it right back. And I'll be totally honest, I probably would have. I hope you never hear from this insecure douche bag ever again. You deserve SO MUCH more!!!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,589
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 16, 2019 23:07:54 GMT
Well I was bitchy at some point. During the second conversation about training in general and my belly also, I said "You know what? You might be careful what you wish for, because if I train more and get super hot, maybe somebody will snatch me while you are away." Oh that pissed him off big time. He replied very quickly and in an angry tone "well, same for me if I lose the weight" 😁 That's it dude, IF. IF. Trust me, he knows that at the moment, I look way better than he does, and it upsets him biiiiiiig time because he used to be a real handsome and attractive guy who surely didn't have a hard time picking up hot girls. I myself still find him handsome, but reality is, these girls must be way more difficult to find now. Most of you are right. By putting me down he ensures I feel like I don't deserve better and he can stay with a girl who looks good, which shows all "Look, I've been able to snatch this girl!" 🙄 Wow. What an insecure guy - both in how he's responding and in how he talks to you. You don't need that crap. Nope.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 17, 2019 0:04:45 GMT
So... I called the hotel. I don't know why they gave me this info because my name wasn't on the bill, but they told me he had already left when we had agreed to leave at least three hours later than the hour I called. According to what I gathered during my conversation... He might even have left yesterday because they had another name for this room number, as if it had been rented to someone else last night. When I corrected the name they said this person had also left. Seems it bothered him enough that he felt the need to leave early or maybe switch rooms. On the bad side... They don't have my bathing suit. So either he threw it away, or he kept it as a souvenir or intends to send it to me? I've been a passive aggressive bitch and posted on Facebook an hour ago that I am looking for the same swimsuit, if people can look for it, and I didn't block him. Hope he sees it lol.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Jul 17, 2019 0:24:18 GMT
Good for you. Don't waste a minute looking back!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,589
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 17, 2019 0:25:56 GMT
So... I called the hotel. I don't know why they gave me this info because my name wasn't on the bill, but they told me he had already left when we had agreed to leave at least three hours later than the hour I called. According to what I gathered during my conversation... He might even have left yesterday because they had another name for this room number, as if it had been rented to someone else last night. When I corrected the name they said this person had also left. Seems it bothered him enough that he felt the need to leave early or maybe switch rooms. On the bad side... They don't have my bathing suit. So either he threw it away, or he kept it as a souvenir or intends to send it to me? I've been a passive aggressive bitch and posted on Facebook an hour ago that I am looking for the same swimsuit, if people can look for it, and I didn't block him. Hope he sees it lol. Please, please, please don't let this guy message you on FB and wheedle his way back in. He's a bad, bad person.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 17, 2019 0:48:43 GMT
So... I called the hotel. I don't know why they gave me this info because my name wasn't on the bill, but they told me he had already left when we had agreed to leave at least three hours later than the hour I called. According to what I gathered during my conversation... He might even have left yesterday because they had another name for this room number, as if it had been rented to someone else last night. When I corrected the name they said this person had also left. Seems it bothered him enough that he felt the need to leave early or maybe switch rooms. On the bad side... They don't have my bathing suit. So either he threw it away, or he kept it as a souvenir or intends to send it to me? I've been a passive aggressive bitch and posted on Facebook an hour ago that I am looking for the same swimsuit, if people can look for it, and I didn't block him. Hope he sees it lol. Please, please, please don't let this guy message you on FB and wheedle his way back in. He's a bad, bad person. This. Please block him.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 17, 2019 1:11:23 GMT
I won't let him back in but it feels nice to know that maybe he knows now that I don't care if he has my swimsuit because I am already looking for a new one. 😉 I know how manipulative people operate. He thinks I will reach out because he had it.
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Post by MichyM on Jul 17, 2019 1:19:51 GMT
I won't let him back in but it feels nice to know that maybe he knows now that I don't care if he has my swimsuit because I am already looking for a new one. 😉 I know how manipulative people operate. He thinks I will reach out because he had it. I'm not entirely sure that a FB post like that comes off that way. Like the other girls, I agree that it's time to block/unfriend him and put this behind you. I wish you didn't put stock into the possible ways an admittedly passive-agressive post might effect him.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 17, 2019 1:39:03 GMT
I won't let him back in but it feels nice to know that maybe he knows now that I don't care if he has my swimsuit because I am already looking for a new one. 😉 I know how manipulative people operate. He thinks I will reach out because he had it. I wish you didn't put stock into the possible ways an admittedly passive-agressive post might effect him. You're right. I guess this was my way to get back at him. What is done is done and I won't change my post now. I'm glad I posted because a lot of people have already told me they will look in stores in their area to try to find the same swimsuit. So this is all that matters now, that I might find a new one. The rest is irrelevant. Thanks for reminding me I shouldn't think about that.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Jul 17, 2019 3:26:28 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice You look fabulous! He's crazy
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Post by teach4u on Jul 17, 2019 3:51:45 GMT
I read some of your posts explaining why he did what he did. You can’t defend his behavior. I really hope you dont take him back, but your calling the hotel and posting on fb leads me to think you aren’t done with him.
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Post by pelirroja on Jul 17, 2019 9:57:44 GMT
Why did you call the hotel?!?! NO contact means just that: no posting secretive FB messages, or dropping hints trying to get at him. Block him and get on with your life. I hope you have the good sense to walk away altogether. Let the bathing suit go. There are plenty of better bathing suits out there, not to mention better guys. Look up and watch some youtube "no contact" videos if you're feeling the need to contact him or re-stir the pot.
Block him and get on with your life. (Just in case you didn't hear me say it the first time). Be strong! Walk away and don't look back! I have a sinking feeling you're not really truly done with this asshole. Good luck!
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
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Post by schizo319 on Jul 17, 2019 12:09:16 GMT
1) Unless you are my doctor, or I am growing a tumor out of my neck that I can't see, you keep your mouth shut about my appearance/health. Period.
2) It is ALWAYS okay to leave a situation like you describe. You are not required to stay and be treated like crap - EVER.
3) Depending on how much of a jerk I was, I might take the cowardly way out and just never talk to the person again. If it was someone I really loved and respected, I might call to apologize, but it's doubtful that an insensitive jerk would do the same, and this dude sounds very much like an insensitive jerk.
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 17, 2019 12:45:00 GMT
He is an asshole. 1) No. He has no business commenting on your weight or body. You have every right to be offended. 2) When someone acts like an asshole, they lose all right to get upset that people don't want to be around them. Leaving is perfectly acceptable. 2) If someone offended me enough for me to leave - short of them crawling on their knees apologizing and immediately changing their behavior with no excuses, I would be done with them. Forever. You are worth more than the way you are being treated. Kick his sorry ass to the curb. All that.^^^ So glad you left him there. What an ass.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 17, 2019 13:36:47 GMT
Thank you all. This morning I feel sad over the whole situation, but things are improving slowly. I know I made the right decision and I won't make contact. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that I thought he was a good person, and he showed me he's not, or not anymore. It's the disappointment, which I'll get over in due time.
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