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Post by 950nancy on Jul 23, 2019 19:10:17 GMT
((hugs)) to you. I've found that kids save all the worst moments for the ones they love the most...because they know you will love them no matter what. I hope you are doing okay today. My daycare lady raised six children of her own and she told me this when my son was two. It is probably one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given. It doesn't give the kid a pass for their poor behavior, but it often does explain why they do it. |
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Jul 23, 2019 19:46:41 GMT
Once I was done crying and blubbering excessively, dh told me that that morning ds had come to him and asked for help understanding why he's being such an ass to me. He said that he couldn't have had a better mother. That he appreciated that I always told like it was. He said it was easy for him to see how good he had it when he listened to his friends talk about their home life. He asked for help understanding before it gets worse, because he couldn't bear to leave if he hurt our relationship and it was his fault. This made me cry.... |
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Post by Legacy Girl on Jul 23, 2019 19:56:20 GMT
Thinking of you, Steph. I know you'll get through this, but it can't be easy. Hope you can do something to take care of yourself and bring a smile today.
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588 
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Post by peabrain on Aug 1, 2019 19:36:33 GMT
StephDRebelHow are things going with your son? Any updates? Thinking of you all.
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Post by flanz on Aug 1, 2019 22:41:46 GMT
Another pea thinking of you and sending you love, @stephdrebel
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Post by mom on Aug 1, 2019 23:05:28 GMT
StephDRebel I didn't see this the first time around, but I wanted to send you a big hug! Its hard letting our kiddos go! Mine leaves in 13 days and Im still in the denial stage! Check in with us and let us know how you're doing!
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,842
Location: Indianapolis
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Post by JustTricia on Aug 1, 2019 23:36:04 GMT
My son’s (he’s 18) dad and I are divorced.
Around middle school we would fight sometimes and my son would say some not nice things to me. When I would ask him if he’d say the same thing to his dad he would always say no, of course not. When I would ask why it was okay to say it to me his answer was “because you’re Mom”.
This went on for a few years. There weren’t a lot of fights like that but his response was always the same, “because you’re Mom”. Finally, out of sheer frustration and hurt I asked him what exactly that meant?
He told me (paraphrasing) that he knew he could always say whatever he was feeling to me and that it would always be okay. That he knew even if something was going to hurt me I always wanted him to tell the truth as to how he felt and never feel that I would be mad at him for it or would hold it against him at some time. He didn’t feel that way about his dad and he lied to him quite frequently just to keep the peace. But “because you’re Mom” he knew he could always be honest with me.
While the things he says sometimes hurt, I always remember what he said. At some point I’m going to record him saying it and have the sound wave tattooed on me. And my son loves that idea.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
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Post by Nanner on Aug 2, 2019 3:21:54 GMT
I hope you're feeling better, Steph, and that he's connected with you since leaving.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,691
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Aug 2, 2019 3:29:39 GMT
Thanks for checking in. I thought about 'rounding back to this post a few times this week but I wasn't sure how I was feeling about bumping it back to the top. We're doing ok. Pretty good actually. I don't know why it caught me off guard like it did. I really don't think either of us was as prepared as we thought we were and shit got real really fast. He text me a few times during the drive down there and we had a two-hour conversation about life in general on his second night down there and have talked every few days. We've moved to the part where he makes fun of me for the rest of my life about being an emotional wreck and swears it was just me. His impersonation of me sobbing and chasing him down the driveway is quite hysterical though I'll never tell him that. (and I didn't run anywhere, that's a fact. Let's be real, we all know better  ) I'm grateful I had nothing at all planned that weekend because I was completely worthless and that I shut the laptop down when I did. My best friend called and we got drunk on video chat and cried each other to sleep reminiscing. I knew it wasn't anything to really be crying about, I was and am so proud of him for making a big move and taking a chance. It's what I've prayed for him every day since before he was born. I almost feel like I just had so many emotions that I just had to let them all out. I'm pretty sure it had 30% to do with the move and 70% was built up stress from still being kind of unsettled, being in a new house, so many changes, his health issues, and random other daily things. I woke up crying and told DH that I was going to waller around in it the next day so he brought me chocolate and I binge watched something on hulu and went through his baby books because I like to torture myself. He's settling into a routine and said that it's kind of boring there. He's still in group chats with his friends and it's settling in that life moves on whether you're here or not. He's a little homesick but he'll be ok. I know why he pulled away, I know that I've always been his safe space but dangit, this time just made me emotional. I went back and read what I wrote (thank goodness I stopped typing before I got drunk, I was a bit worried. ha) and all of your replies. Thank you for being here. We often underestimate the power of the support that is here and I seriously, seriously appreciate it. |
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Post by playingcinderella on Aug 2, 2019 3:40:17 GMT
I have been looking for an update. At least you said it here and not to him. Mine kids are 10 & 11, but I can already see this coming. You raised him to be strong and independent now is when you get to see it pay off.
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