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Post by iamkristinl16 on Mar 27, 2020 13:08:20 GMT
He left you? Like ending the marriage? Right now? Oh I want to smack him. You poor thing. My thoughts exactly. I am sorry you are going through this. It sucks.
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 27, 2020 13:09:11 GMT
I am so sorry.
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
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Post by scrappinghappy on Mar 27, 2020 13:11:57 GMT
You have US and 24/7 there is someone here to lend a shoulder.
Sending virtual hugs
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Mar 27, 2020 13:12:32 GMT
I would start calling attorneys ASAP. Even if your state is under a lockdown order, most states are including legal services as essential services. Yes! I have been having phone meetings with my lawyer, and while the courts are closed, judges here are still signing papers, so you can get things going.
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compeateropeator
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,996
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 23:10:56 GMT
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Post by compeateropeator on Mar 27, 2020 13:12:54 GMT
I have no advice, only hope that things will be so much better for you down the road and support to get there. Hold on to the hope and accept the support. Just take things one day at a time. You are in my thoughts.
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,431
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Mar 27, 2020 13:13:50 GMT
I'm so very sorry....sending you hugs.....
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,175
Location: Western Illinois
Member is Online
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Mar 27, 2020 13:14:05 GMT
That sucks. I’m so sorry.
Take action on getting the financial records now. It’s the first thing you need to do, and getting your ducks in a row will help you feel stronger.
It sucks - but you can do this.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,963
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Mar 27, 2020 13:17:16 GMT
I am so sorry! What a complete jerk.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Mar 27, 2020 13:17:32 GMT
Oh my. I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your children right now. I'd like to rip his balls right off and feed them to him. What an asshole move.
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Post by mariemily on Mar 27, 2020 13:19:03 GMT
Wow. I am so sorry.
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Post by gryroagain on Mar 27, 2020 13:21:35 GMT
Lawyer up, today. Immediately.
It’s awful, and you are going to fall apart. It’s normal and expected. You will lose 20 pounds. You feel like you are dying. This is all perfectly normal- there is nothing wrong with you, you are not “being dramatic”. It just is inevitable.
He is going to come back with a truck load of bullshit and your job is to 100 percent shut that down. Do not engage. Do not listen to him. Do not even talk to him past vital kid or finance related things. Nothing. Nothing. He is not your friend, he never will be because girl- you don't have friends like that.
Everything goes thru a lawyer. No emotional conversations period. He made this bed and you let him fucking lie in it.
I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. Trust me- do not listen to a damn thing he says. If you are done or not- does not matter. He is untrustworthy right now and you need to leave him. Hey he gets his shit together, you can remarry. He won’t, because those losers never do, but it’s possible. He is counting on you folding so DO NOT. They get really shocked and scared when you don’t, I know this. They say crazy things and they beg you to ho or the years of marraige and blah blah blah- seriously fuck all that noise. Ignore everything he says. Get the most bulldog lawyer you can and go for everything.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,429
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Mar 27, 2020 13:21:45 GMT
It is not out of the blue. In the fall he got very drunk on a family vacation and I found him in a sexually intimate position with his brothers wife. To my knowledge they did not have sex, but he was mad that I busted them up and got out of the pool with an erection. Since that time I discovered other lies and deception. Gambling, private lunches and dinners with female coworkers, etc. He may have been planning this move since then—so he’s got a “head start” on you in regards to financial stuff. Get your ducks in a row stat! Waiting to get his ducks in a row and now with the pandemic stress figures it's the ideal time to drop the bomb on her so she doesn't do anything but cry and stress out more. But she's got the Pea Power to back her up.
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 27, 2020 13:22:06 GMT
I am so sorry.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,174
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Mar 27, 2020 13:24:15 GMT
Your are not alone, there is great advice in this thread and many others. We Pea Women have your back. ((HUGS))
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Post by Lexica on Mar 27, 2020 13:24:33 GMT
It is not out of the blue. In the fall he got very drunk on a family vacation and I found him in a sexually intimate position with his brothers wife. To my knowledge they did not have sex, but he was mad that I busted them up and got out of the pool with an erection. Since that time I discovered other lies and deception. Gambling, private lunches and dinners with female coworkers, etc. Oh hon, you deserve so much better than this! You will be in pain for awhile and think that you won’t be able to handle it. But eventually you will suddenly realize that you haven’t thought of him for an entire day. And you will feel happiness just knowing that he can’t hurt you and expose you to any STDs any longer. I know it will take time, but some day, I pray you find a man who values you and would never dream of causing you any pain. And consider this, you didn’t lose an amazing incredible husband here. You are now getting rid of a piece of $hit poor excuse of a man. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve so much more than this. I hope his brother dealt with the two of them!
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Mar 27, 2020 13:25:36 GMT
I am so incredibly sorry.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Mar 27, 2020 13:27:55 GMT
I’m so sorry Tank Top. This is just horrible. Follow the advice of the Peas in the know and protect yourself.
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Post by silverlining on Mar 27, 2020 13:29:45 GMT
Well if you ever had any questions about his character, his reliability in tough times, his commitment to his kids, you just got the answer. Never, ever forget that he will not look out for anyone but himself.
You will get through this. You have every right to be devastated and to curl up in a ball and scream, but I hope that you will be FURIOUS with this worthless POS, and that anger will get you moving to protect all the financial resources that you can.
In a few months, you will look back and be grateful that he showed you exactly who he is. You will look back and be proud of yourself that you did everything you could to take care of yourself and your kids.
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Post by refugeepea on Mar 27, 2020 13:29:58 GMT
I am so sorry, TankTop. Mostly for the panic you feel right now. I don't know how long it will be for you, but I know with 100% certainty you will look back on this and not recognize yourself right now, and you won't wish to be back to yesterday either. You'll see what a blessing it is that he left. Because a man who is capable of literally walking away like this, at a time like this, is not a man you want to be married to. Look at who he's revealed himself to be, and be glad he revealed it. You are always awesome with words.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Mar 27, 2020 13:32:44 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by maryland on Mar 27, 2020 13:36:50 GMT
So sorry for what you are going through. Looks like you have a lot of good advice here. We are here to help you however we can help.
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Post by KikiPea on Mar 27, 2020 13:37:23 GMT
Oh man, I am so, so sorry. Big hugs and prayers as you navigate your next steps.
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Post by sunshine on Mar 27, 2020 13:39:38 GMT
Oh my God, I am so sorry for you and your kids.
What a piece of shit. For real.
Like others have already said, he's been preparing and planning for this. He didn't wake up today with no place to go with no plans in place. Get a lawyer, immediately.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Mar 27, 2020 13:42:20 GMT
Damn..I’m so sorry!
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Post by jubejubes on Mar 27, 2020 13:45:00 GMT
TankTop He left. You are in isolation. It will take him a very long time to get his stuff since you are in quarantine for 14 days. Change the locks as you don't know if he is infected.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,771
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Mar 27, 2020 13:49:41 GMT
No, I don’t have anyone. No mom, sister, cousin, etc. I have a dysfunctional father and brother. We don’t even do holidays together, so it is not like I can turn to them.
I have 4 female friends. Two are my husband’s friends wives. One is more of an acquaintance. One is working the front lines of covid-19 right now.
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Post by slowrunner70 on Mar 27, 2020 13:50:01 GMT
I'm so very sorry. :-(
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Post by PenandInk on Mar 27, 2020 13:50:21 GMT
Tank top, I am so sorry. You have gotten great advice here.
If you hold my earrings, I’ll be happy to go kick his ass. Nobody messes with a pea friend and gets away with it. Nobody.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,706
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Mar 27, 2020 13:52:52 GMT
I am so sorry. And so angry for you! Like I want to find him and nut punch him. Ugh. Hugs!
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 27, 2020 13:53:43 GMT
Oh Tank, I'm so sorry As others have said, you have us! Everyone else gave you great advice, listen to those who have btdt. In the meantime take care of yourself.
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