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Post by mom on May 25, 2020 15:48:21 GMT
I am so incredibly sorry. I wish I could just give you a big hug.
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Post by quinlove on May 25, 2020 15:52:11 GMT
Oh no. My heart breaks for you. Sending love.
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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on May 25, 2020 15:52:18 GMT
So sorry. Sending hugs.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 25, 2020 15:52:38 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
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Post by Lexica on May 25, 2020 15:54:00 GMT
I am so very sorry your husband was taken so suddenly. I can imagine how distressful this is trying to handle everything during this pandemic as well. What you are planning for your husband is what both of my parents desired. Cremation and no funeral. Dad was 90 and Mom was 98 when she passed, having outlived all of the family on both sides as well as any friends. They did something that made such a huge difference for us during our time of grief. It was my Dad who put it together initially and Mom was so pleased with how seamlessly it was handled that she wanted the same company to handle her death. We just called the company when Dad died and they handled everything from sending the people to pick up his body to be cremated to notifying every necessary agency and providing the death certificates. It was all handled so compassionately and professionally. They had prepaid for the service, but I’m sure you could contact a company that provides the same service right away and they will do everything for you so that you don’t have to deal with all the extra stress during this emotional time. I will be setting up the service for myself so that my son doesn’t have to do anything when my time comes. This is the company Mom and Dad used: www.neptunesociety.com/cremation-costs-guide?gclid=CjwKCAjw2a32BRBXEiwAUcugiCq1d-14uVVakxuCuIHNJd1gumEtKE_-12gbFBKDvf5W3CdOKMK00xoCWTYQAvD_BwEThey have a site off the coast where they will interr your ashes if that is your desire. My parents did not want this option so the ashes were returned to the family. I can vouch for this company, but I know there are many others that handle everything for you too. Since you mentioned Santa Barbara, here is a direct link to the Santa Barbara office. This is the facility that handled Dad’s passing because they were in Santa Barbara at my sister’s home when he died. www.neptunesociety.com/location/santa-barbara-cremation
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Post by KelleeM on May 25, 2020 15:54:22 GMT
I’m so terribly sorry. You don’t know me but I’m only 7 months out from my husband’s death. I’m going to message you my number. Please call if you want.
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Post by gillyp on May 25, 2020 15:56:38 GMT
I am so very sorry to read your post. I saw your earlier one and was wondering how he was doing. I am really very sorry.
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,467
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on May 25, 2020 15:56:45 GMT
I am so sorry.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,698
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on May 25, 2020 15:57:14 GMT
I am so sorry for this horrible loss. Hugs
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,610
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 25, 2020 15:58:26 GMT
I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. How absolutely devastating. And it's just such a terrible time for it to happen. I don't have any advice, just sending my very best to you. He sounds like he was just a terrific person.
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hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,117
Jul 6, 2016 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by hutchfan on May 25, 2020 15:59:07 GMT
I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Sending hugs.
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,634
Location: Northern California
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on May 25, 2020 16:03:12 GMT
My heart goes out to you and your family. Be sure to take care of yourselves during this time.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,294
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on May 25, 2020 16:03:55 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,806
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on May 25, 2020 16:04:24 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
The funeral home is a great place to start. They can help with death certificates. When my sister died in February, I think we got 25 copies of the death certificate and we haven’t needed nearly that many. It really depends on how much stuff and accounts you have. I would highly recommend you get an attorney. They can walk you through everything.
And again, I am sorry. Sudden death is shocking and absolutely devastating.
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Post by Jockscrap on May 25, 2020 16:05:30 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss.
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Post by freecharlie on May 25, 2020 16:06:12 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had advice.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,352
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on May 25, 2020 16:07:45 GMT
I’m so sorry, a sudden loss like that is very painful. ((Hugs)) It sounds like your husband was very loved by everyone. 💕
When my DH passed away, I leaned on the funeral home. They got the death certificates (12), planned the service and cremation. Everything was a blur, but I had all three of my kids with me and they remembered what I didn’t. Hopefully, your children feel old enough that they can help with this.
Everything we had was in both our names so I did not have to transfer anything except my car. He had bought that as a surprise for me and it was in his name only. That took a trip to the county clerks office to get his will filed and a paper so I could transfer ownership. There was no rush on any of these things, so don’t feel like you have to do it all right away. Take time to grieve and be sure to let others do what they can to help you.
Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.
ETA: I’d reach out to his employer’s HR department for help with settled his benefits.
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Post by Patter on May 25, 2020 16:08:16 GMT
Oh my goodness, I am SO incredibly sorry for your tremendous loss. I can't imagine the shock and heartache. Hugs and prayers to you and your family!
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Post by artgirl1 on May 25, 2020 16:10:40 GMT
I you am very sorry for your. May the memories shared bring you comfort.
Your Funeral Home can request the copies of Death Certificate that you will need. You can guestimate how many certified copies you will need, then add another 5 or so. As someone mentioned, regular copies will suffice for some things. But you will want to save a few certified copies for future needs. I recently required one for my late husband, and he passed 35 years ago.
Was he a veteran? You may need a certified Death certificate for them, if not now, but in the future is you need to draw any benefits.
Each state is different. If you have a will, you may not be required to have the estate probated. I would be cautious about hiring a lawyer, unless it is required. Again, discuss with the Funeral Home representative. Ask your funeral director about scattering ashes in your state.
There are companies that will encase some ashes into rings, pendants, etc. I had one made for my DD several years ago, and she wears it constantly.
Take the time to list all your questions, and I would recommend that you seek input from people in your state and local for advice. Your funeral director may be able to put you in touch with a local grief group that can help determine what you must do in your state.
I wish you peace as your navigate this difficult time.
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Post by femalebusiness on May 25, 2020 16:14:26 GMT
I am so very sorry. You must be devastated. I wish you And your kids peace.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on May 25, 2020 16:14:50 GMT
Oh gosh! What an unexpected and devastating outcome. I am so very, very sorry. I have no advice, but know we have plenty of gracious peas who have sadly also walked in your shoes who will be there for you with excellent advice.
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msladibug
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,533
Jul 10, 2014 2:31:46 GMT
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Post by msladibug on May 25, 2020 16:15:04 GMT
very sorry for your family's loss.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 25, 2020 16:18:27 GMT
So very sorry for the sudden loss or you beloved DH! May you and your kids fins peace and comfort over the very difficult days ahead!
My first piece of advice is to make NO major decisions for a while! There will be a time to move forward soon.
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on May 25, 2020 16:21:31 GMT
My heart goes out to you and your loved ones as you deal with this devastating shock.
Have you chosen a funeral home yet? They can help guide you through the process.
You can ask the funeral home to separate some of your dh's ashes for your children. The funeral home we used for my mother's cremation also provided locks of hair and fingerprints at no charge. I used the my mom's fingerprint to have memorial items made for my family.
I am so sad for the loss of your beloved husband. My thoughts are with you.
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Post by cadoodlebug on May 25, 2020 16:24:19 GMT
I am so sorry to hear of your DH's passing. Blessings to you and your family.
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Post by liya on May 25, 2020 16:25:20 GMT
I don’t have any answers but I am so incredibly sorry for your heartbreaking loss.
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Post by dillydally on May 25, 2020 16:27:33 GMT
Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry.
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Post by psoccer on May 25, 2020 16:28:07 GMT
I am so sorry. As everyone has suggested the funeral home is a great place to start. I wouldn't take his name off of banking accounts right away, as checks may come in with his name on it and it will make it difficult to negotiate if there are not accounts with his name on it. Later, way down the road, look at putting your assets into a living trust to help your children if anything happens to you. I am really sorry you have to go through this.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,431
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Member is Online
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on May 25, 2020 16:29:50 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss and especially at this time when you can't gather with family and friends.
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Post by MadamG2U on May 25, 2020 16:33:20 GMT
My prayers are with you and your family
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