My DH passed away..I could really use advice and help

I have no information for you, but just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am.

I am heartbroken for your family and you, SweetieBugs. I will leave the advice giving to those Peas who have gone through this. I will instead offer my deepest condolences and sending you hugs and love. I'm so, so sorry.

I could not read and run-I am so
Incredibly sorry for your loss!! I lost my dad suddenly 8 years ago, and we are still dealing with it as a family.
I am sorry you are having to deal with all the practicals in your time of grief, that is really one of the hardest things. I will try and come
back later and add some things that helped for us. In the mean time, I am so, so, sorry.

Oh my. What a terrible shock. I don’t have any advice about the cremation process, but wanted to share with you how sorry I am for your loss. 😢

May his memory be a blessing.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss! What a shock. I don't have any advice, but I couldn't just read and run.

I have no words of advice, but I am so, so sorry for your loss. Many prayers for your family during this time.

I'm so very sorry, sending hugs across the pond.

On a practical note, and not knowing the American system, I would think the death certificate will be required to action changes in many other things.

Oh my, I am so very sorry to hear this. I am unable to offer guidance for the processes you'll need to undertake but will pray that the paperwork goes smoothly and is not a heavy burden as you grieve.

Hugs to you.

SweetieBugs   The funeral home will be a great help. They were to my mom when my dad died. They will contact SS, know how many Death Certs to get. Some places will take a copy. Do you have a lawyer?? Did he have a will??


I know someone mentioned 36 death certificates but I don’t think that’s the norm. We had five and most places took copies and didn’t need originals. But again the funeral home where you’re having him cremated is going to have 99.9% of the answers for you. A lawyer will help you with the life insurance, retirement benefits etc.


My mom put the car registration in her name and the lawyer took care of it. Car insurance was taken off his car and then put in her name with our local rep.

We did not change any utilities because they’re being paid and they don’t care who’s paying them or whose name is on the account as long as they are paid.  Most utility companies will charge you to also change them over into your name so don’t do that just yet.


You can notify the bank but my parents had theirs already set up so that they both had complete access to each others  accounts which has helped tremendously. But again...don't do anything moneywise without consulting your lawyer.



My best advice since I've been helping my mom through this is to rely on the funeral home director and lawyer. They have been down this road many times.

I am so very sorry for your loss. We have yet to bury my dad's ashes or have a party (his desire) and hope to in July.  

I am so very sorry for your unexpected loss.

My dad is trying very hard to die, so I checked to see how many death certificates we would need to order. Seems most people recommend 3 dozen copies, as everyone will want one.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Big ((((Hugs))))

I'm so very sorry for your loss. The mortuary company will typically handle ordering copies of the death certificate for you. You'll need quite a few as many companies will not take a copy - I'd order 20 unless you have a ton of different accounts.

You really don't need to rush to handle the paperwork. Be kind to yourself and slowly work through removing him. If you're comfortable sharing your state, it might help get more specific guidance regarding need for probate, lawyers etc. It varies tremendously by state.

ETA sorry - I hadn't finished my coffee and didn't notice that you said he was a CA worker so we can assume he lived in CA.  With housing prices in CA, it'll be tough to avoid probate unless you had set up a trust beforehand. You're probably going to want an attorney's help. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband, what a horrible time for you. You have my deepest sympathies.

Being in another country I don't know if things are similar to here or not...but one piece of advice my mother got when my father died was to go and transfer/withdraw money from their shared accounts because once banks found out about the death any bank accounts with his name on them would be locked until the will was finalised.
That turned out to be true here - and it took about 3 months for all of their joint assets to be transferred into my mothers name.
Other people may know more about it, but perhaps make sure you have enough money in your name/bank account in case that scenario is likely for you.

There are probably lists of what to do online, here is one I found