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Post by elaine on Oct 30, 2015 23:36:17 GMT
 DS1 is 15 (turns 16 next month) 5'9" and 270 pounds - a large boy due to his meds - and has autism. He failed a class this quarter (today was the last day of the quarter) simply because he didn't do 90% of the homework, including a huge project. We ask/asked nightly about his homework for this class and he would swear he was working on it or had finished it and emailed it in. He really wanted to go to an away football game against a neighborhood rival high school tonight, but the consequence for lying about doing his homework (when he didn't) was that he couldn't go to the game. When my dh came home from the airport and supported me, my son completely melted down and started to hit my husband and me in the head. He hit me hard enough that he knocked my glasses off. I finally called the police. Last night, when this started, I locked myself in my bedroom when I went to sleep, but tonight he was out of control and his younger brother was scared. So, we called the police. Three officers came and talked to him and he calmed down quite a bit, but I am heartbroken. I leave on Tuesday for a couple of weeks and am so sad that I will leave thinking about this. Being a parent is so hard some days. |
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Oct 30, 2015 23:40:37 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Post by magentapea on Oct 30, 2015 23:41:06 GMT
I am so sorry you had to do that. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been.
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Post by hockeymom4 on Oct 30, 2015 23:41:35 GMT
That would certainly suck, but you know your family best and am sure you did what you had to.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 30, 2015 23:41:36 GMT
I'm sorry that this occurred, but agree that it had to be done. And you are not the only mother to have to have made that call. Hugs.
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Post by marmargirl on Oct 30, 2015 23:42:12 GMT
I'm so sorry.  |
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 16:09:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2015 23:42:54 GMT
I'm so sorry. You did the right thing, even though it sucked. Hugs to you!
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leeny
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Oct 30, 2015 23:44:16 GMT
My heart goes out to you and your family.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Oct 30, 2015 23:44:47 GMT
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
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jayfab
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Post by jayfab on Oct 30, 2015 23:45:00 GMT
I'm so sorry. That had to be awful for you.
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Post by elaine on Oct 30, 2015 23:47:30 GMT
I am so sorry you had to do that. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been. I cried the whole time from when I called the police until after they left. I am heartbroken. He is smart enough to pass the class if he just did the work - he has As and Bs in all his other classes. He is also functional enough now to understand consequences tied to this type of behavior (younger brother wouldn't). Both dh and I agreed it was crucial we stick to the consequence, since it was logical. But it kills me that his response was to hit us - HARD. Here is hoping we don't have to go through this again. I'm having surgeries on my skull/eyes and won't be able to take blows to the head for a few months. |
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back to *pea*ality
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Oct 30, 2015 23:47:51 GMT
So sorry to hear this. I know you have your own health challenges and the stress of this isn't good. I am glad to hear the LEO's diffused the situation. Sending hugs and prayers to all of you.
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gloryjoy
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Post by gloryjoy on Oct 30, 2015 23:49:24 GMT
I'm sorry for what you had to do, and are going thru. I can feel the sadness and hurt in your post.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 30, 2015 23:49:26 GMT
{{{hugs}}} elaineYou were between a rock and a hard place, and made the right choice. |
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Post by danor98 on Oct 30, 2015 23:50:49 GMT
Parenting is so very hard. My heart goes out to you today, this is sad and tough to deal with. We try so hard to do the right thing and sometimes the right thing just seems so wrong at the time....
hugs to you and your family.....take care of your self.
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Oct 30, 2015 23:52:30 GMT
I watched my husband have to call the police on his brother after their mom died. It was heartbreaking and I just wanted to cry. I can't imagine how awful that was for you - but I also think you did what you had to do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2015 23:52:55 GMT
I wish I had magic words for you. I am so very sorry.
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RosieKat
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Post by RosieKat on Oct 31, 2015 0:00:49 GMT
I am so very sorry. You did what was necessary, but I feel your broken heart from here.
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janeliz
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Post by janeliz on Oct 31, 2015 0:00:51 GMT
I'm so sorry, Elaine.
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Post by anxiousmom on Oct 31, 2015 0:02:19 GMT
I remember back when my kids were little bitty things hearing stories like this and thinking with great superiority that there would never be a world where my children would ever behave in such a way that it would ever happen to me.
Then I was a single mother with a teenager who was bigger than me and he would get SO angry that there were days where I wondered if calling the police was something I would have to do. Boy-do I regret that attitude of judgement I had then.
I am sorry-I know that it couldn't have been easy, but sometimes drastic behavior calls for drastic measures in return. Not an easy call for sure.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Oct 31, 2015 0:06:31 GMT
Elaine, I'm so sorry your son put you in the position to have to do this. You did the right thing, as much as it must hurt your heart. Big hugs to you and your family.
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iluvpink
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Post by iluvpink on Oct 31, 2015 0:06:55 GMT
I'm sorry. (((HUGS)))
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AnotherPea
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Post by AnotherPea on Oct 31, 2015 0:07:13 GMT
That sucks. I'm sorry.
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tuesdaysgone
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Oct 31, 2015 0:09:29 GMT
I's so sorry that you are going thru this. You did what you had to do to protect yourself, DH, and other son. Words, even sorry, aren't really adequate in a situation like this.
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on Oct 31, 2015 0:09:57 GMT
I'm so sorry. I'm a mom of 2 sons with Autism. It's never ok to hit. You did the right thing calling the police. I hope you have a support system around you.
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 31, 2015 0:10:04 GMT
Elaine, I know you know this, but a call to his professional support team is in order. Right now you're facing a very scary and stressful time. Your son is stuck in a hurdle and while you're gone he will get out of this endless loop and be able to process what he did wrong. I just feel for you, cause you have so much to contend with right now. A lot of folks are in your corner, though. Get out those coloring supplies this weekend. Time for some good old fashioned creative therapy. No matter what, this is your time. This surgery is vital and you need to focus on taking care of yourself. You did what you had to do for everyone's safety. Your son is still at home and he has his own work to do. He cannot react like this and the consequences don't go away because he had a violent outburst. Stick to those boundaries and tighten up. Consistency is his greatest friend right now. Have you asked him if his behavior scared him?
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Post by Drew on Oct 31, 2015 0:12:51 GMT
I'm sorry that happened, Elaine. My 16 yr old is mentally retarded and he can be violent at times when his meds are wearing down, but he is very small. Luckily. I think you did the right thing. How is he feeling about his actions now?
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Post by lovinlife on Oct 31, 2015 0:18:30 GMT
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Sending you hugs
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caro
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Post by caro on Oct 31, 2015 0:19:43 GMT
I'm sorry Elaine. I can't imagine.
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Post by annabella on Oct 31, 2015 0:20:59 GMT
I'm sorry! It was nice of the police officers to just talk to him instead of all these cases I hear of excessive force with children.
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