Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,979
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Oct 31, 2015 0:22:30 GMT
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you didn't have much choice and also that it helped to defuse the situation. {{{Hugs}}}
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Post by 2peafaithful on Oct 31, 2015 0:28:45 GMT
My heart breaks for you. Truly breaks for you. I haven't written your post but I have been almost there. Phone in hand....9.....1.....pressed. You know you did the right thing and from one mom to another may you be able to rest in that you loved him well. Having a child (whatever age) that has autism means you walk a journey that few know. May your heart today and the next few days find peace, rest and healing to your heart. It is so hard....so very hard. I will be praying for you and your son.
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Post by cyndijane on Oct 31, 2015 0:29:09 GMT
I'm so sorry, Elaine!
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Post by ~Tracy~ on Oct 31, 2015 0:30:18 GMT
Gentle hugs to you and your DH.
How is your son handling it?
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Post by elaine on Oct 31, 2015 0:33:21 GMT
I'm sorry! It was nice of the police officers to just talk to him instead of all these cases I hear of excessive force with children. Yeah, we are lucky we are in Fairfax County, VA. A professional friend of mine, Scott Campbell, has a son who is profoundly autistic - non-verbal - and Scott provides training for all the Fairfax Co police on how to deal with kids with autism. They were good with him. He has stayed in his room since dinner, only coming down to take his meds and asked if he could hug me. I know that I mean more to him than anything else in the world, and so can't let him kill me, which he could if he gets out of control again, especially if dh is not home. He has to learn that this behavior is not ever okay. I know how the situation with the Virginia State Senator Creigh Deeds (there was a 60 Minutes segment on him) could happen, with no one at fault. I am so sad.
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Oct 31, 2015 0:34:33 GMT
I'm so sorry, Elaine. That really sucks. Don't forget to be good to yourself.
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Post by Drew on Oct 31, 2015 0:38:12 GMT
You seem so very sad. Take comfort knowing you did the right thing. You're preparing him for adulthood. This kind of behavior directed at another adult, a non family member, a stranger, etc., would have had a very different outcome.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 15:08:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 0:39:08 GMT
I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that this helps.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 15:08:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 0:40:22 GMT
I've walked a similar path--boy, 17, autistic, large build, angry, assaulted his father and held a large knife to his own stomach. Police were called. A week in a psychiatric hospital resulted.
It royally sucks. The second time sucks worse than the first.
After the first visit to the psychiatric hospital, I read a pamphlet that said half of all people with Autism will spend time in a psychiatric hospital at some point in their lives. Half. And yet, no one No One had ever mentioned that to us. Ever.
It sucks.
Praying for your family tonight. It doesn't lighten your load tonight but life is better on the other side. Do t give up and don't beat yourself up. We all need help in some way.
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Post by 1lear on Oct 31, 2015 0:50:40 GMT
What a horrible situation for everyone in your family-I'm sending hugs and prayers to you all.
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Post by evnimom on Oct 31, 2015 0:51:25 GMT
Hugs. You are a good mom!
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Post by auntkelly on Oct 31, 2015 0:55:44 GMT
I'm really sorry. Teenage boys can be so challenging, I can only imagine how much harder it is when the teenage boy has autism.
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Post by salem on Oct 31, 2015 0:59:42 GMT
I'm sorry. What a difficult time for you.
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Post by SallyPA on Oct 31, 2015 1:00:38 GMT
Oh how awful! I am so sorry you had to do that, but I do think it was the right thing to do in that case. I hope he will remain calm and controlled so you can focus on your surgery and recovery.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Oct 31, 2015 1:01:58 GMT
Oh Elaine, I'm so sorry.
I'm trying to find words but I'm coming up with nothing. I guess I can only say from one Mom to another, hugs to you.
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,752
Jun 25, 2014 20:56:09 GMT
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Post by gottapeanow on Oct 31, 2015 1:01:46 GMT
Joining the others to say that I am so sorry. <<<Hugs>>>
Lisa
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Oct 31, 2015 1:02:36 GMT
I'm so very sorry. I'll keep you and your whole family in my thoughts ❤️
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Oct 31, 2015 1:06:40 GMT
(hugs) You have my support and prayers.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Oct 31, 2015 1:11:47 GMT
I'm so sorry. I wish...so much. I don't have words. I'm feeling sad with you.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,829
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Oct 31, 2015 1:21:27 GMT
Elaine, I know you know this, but a call to his professional support team is in order. Right now you're facing a very scary and stressful time. Your son is stuck in a hurdle and while you're gone he will get out of this endless loop and be able to process what he did wrong. I just feel for you, cause you have so much to contend with right now. A lot of folks are in your corner, though. Get out those coloring supplies this weekend. Time for some good old fashioned creative therapy. No matter what, this is your time. This surgery is vital and you need to focus on taking care of yourself. You did what you had to do for everyone's safety. Your son is still at home and he has his own work to do. He cannot react like this and the consequences don't go away because he had a violent outburst. Stick to those boundaries and tighten up. Consistency is his greatest friend right now. Have you asked him if his behavior scared him? YES!! Please call in a counselor. If there is someone your family works with you should email them tonight. Maybe they can give you suggestions and/or meet with your child right away on Monday.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Oct 31, 2015 1:25:09 GMT
I'm so sorry. What a heartbreaking and scary situation.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Oct 31, 2015 1:26:39 GMT
I'm sorry Elaine. Being a parent is so hard and doing the right thing with your kids is even harder sometimes. I'm glad nobody was hurt and the officers were a help. ((hugs))
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Post by maryland on Oct 31, 2015 1:29:33 GMT
That must have been so hard. But you did what you needed to do to protect your younger son and your husband. And you did what you needed to do to help your older son. Thinking about you and your family.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,637
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Oct 31, 2015 1:31:41 GMT
I am so sorry. Take care.
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Post by ntsf on Oct 31, 2015 1:33:22 GMT
please read dr kathryn stewarts book on "helping a child with nonverbal learning disorder or asperger's". my child with autism went to the school she founded..she was very careful to limit homework and do projects mostly at school where the kids had professional support. my kid could never do projects on own time...homework is a huge hole with many executive functioning issues...so maybe for your child, even if they wanted to do the project and the homework, they do not have the planning and execution skills to be able to do it. no matter how much they understand the material.
I would call a meeting with teachers/staff about modification of homework..and find other ways to show mastery of material. my kid would lie endlessly about homework, because incapable of doing it..no matter how much the consequence.
how important is the homework? is it a hill to die on? this incident, though scary, shows it may be beyond your child at this point. I would regroup..talk to a therapist..talk to teachers and rethink what homework he is capable of doing on his own. he may need support at every step of it. sorry you were scared.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Oct 31, 2015 1:33:58 GMT
Elaine, I'm so sorry this has happened. I feel so badly for all of you.
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Post by flanz on Oct 31, 2015 1:40:03 GMT
I'm sure that was brutally difficult. So sorry!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 15:08:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 1:45:15 GMT
I'm really sorry Elaine. How heartbreaking for you and your family. Sending best wishes to you for your upcoming surgery and that your son will understand that his behavior is unacceptable and things will get better at home. I remember when our son was younger 3-8 and quite the handful and thinking this is the hardest stage and now I think the older they are the harder it is especially when your child has challenges and/or disabilities.
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Post by DinCA on Oct 31, 2015 1:45:48 GMT
Sometimes parenting is the hardest job on earth. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and hope he fully grasps what he's done so it won't happen again, for his sake and yours.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,811
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Oct 31, 2015 2:17:21 GMT
I am so sorry, Elaine, that you are going through this in addition to your health issues. (((Hugs)))
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