Just T
Drama Llama
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Post by Just T on Jul 24, 2014 22:17:57 GMT
Perhaps I am just a prude, I don't know. Before I give all the details, I want to get some other opinions on what you as a mother of the boy or girl in this situation would think of this gift.
A 16 year old girl, purchasing several gifts for her boyfriend who is turning 16, buys as one of the gifts a package of boxers from American Eagle.
Teen girl thinks there is nothing wrong with it or inappropriate at all.
What do you think? After I hear some thoughts, I will give more details. |
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 22:22:17 GMT
Eh, I don't really think it's a big deal. It's totally a double standard, but boxers (to me) do not have the same overtly sexual connotation as lingerie. So I would totally be opposed to a gift of lingerie from a teen boy to a teen girl, but the boxers don't bother me.
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 24, 2014 22:22:46 GMT
Mother of a teen boy here. (Two of them actually.)
On the surface, I would cringe and think it is too familiar.
BUT. The boys I know are funny about boxers. They like name brand boxers and look at them as I would an accessory. Both my kids are like this, and love to get boxers for gifts...the more prestigious the name brand, the happier they are.
ETA: I meant to include the fact that boxers do not really have the sexual connotation to the kids that we have.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Jul 24, 2014 22:24:33 GMT
My 20 year old daughter bought her boyfriend a pair of flag boxers for July 4. I hesitated when she suggested that but then again I thought whatever... I think it depends on the relationship between the two. Boxers are boxers.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 22:25:26 GMT
Nope. Boxers are too personal and intimate for a 16 year old girl to buy for a boyfriend. It wouldn't pass in my house. In my opinion, there's no way to make underwear something that isn't intimately personal.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 22:27:07 GMT
My 20 year old daughter bought her boyfriend a pair of flag boxers for July 4. I hesitated when she suggested that but then again I thought whatever... I think it depends on the relationship between the two. Boxers are boxers. That would be different, both because of age and the fact that it borders on gag gift (gag gift isn't quite what I mean, but it's not the same as a package of regular boxers)
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Post by nesser01 on Jul 24, 2014 22:28:03 GMT
When I dated me ex bf from 17-21 I used to buy him boxers and all sorts of clothes. I didn't think twice about it. I don't think it's a big deal. My mother knew and never made a fuss about it. Now if he bought me lingerie, I'm sure she could have flipped out.
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rodeomom
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Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jul 24, 2014 22:28:16 GMT
I don't really see anything wrong with it? There boxers...... Now if he were to give her sexy underwear, I think that would be inappropriate. Probably a double standard. But I don't think it would bother me. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 24, 2014 22:28:56 GMT
Mother of a teen boy here. (Two of them actually.) On the surface, I would cringe and think it is too familiar. BUT. The boys I know are funny about boxers. They like name brand boxers and look at them as I would an accessory. Both my kids are like this, and love to get boxers for gifts...the more prestigious the name brand, the happier they are. ETA: I meant to include the fact that boxers do not really have the sexual connotation to the kids that we have. Since I was once a 16 year old for I have a hard time imagining buying them at 16. But Anxiousmom is right. They're no longer underpants, they're accessories. Some very respectable nice boys at our school let a littl bit peek over their waist band. But having said that I'd tell y kid NO |
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 22:35:46 GMT
I just don't see a problem with it. Boxers don't seem to have a lingerie kind of connotation to anyone I know. (Double standard, I know).
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pam
Junior Member
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Post by pam on Jul 24, 2014 22:37:10 GMT
I am not a mom and I am old but to me this seems innocent. Since it is not the only gift and it's boxers, rather than speedo or thong type underwear, I think I would be ok with it.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 24, 2014 22:39:00 GMT
I have young kids, so maybe I will change my mind later, but I don't think it's a big deal.
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 24, 2014 22:41:44 GMT
Since I was once a 16 year old for I have a hard time imagining buying them at 16. But Anxiousmom is right. They're no longer underpants, they're accessories. Some very respectable nice boys at our school let a littl bit peek over their waist band. But having said that I'd tell y kid NO I was going to say the same thing, but didn't think it would come across very well. It isn't that they are the saggy pants that hang about their knees, but just a teeny bit of the elastic band that shows the name brand. It's a thing, kind of a weird thing if you ask me, but hey-I wore skin tight Calvin Klein jeans and a comb in my pocket at that age-so what do I know?  |
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Rhondito
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Post by Rhondito on Jul 24, 2014 22:44:05 GMT
I think it's fine... to me it's along the lines of pj pants.
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 24, 2014 22:45:53 GMT
I have a 17 yo DD and am pretty laid back about most things. However, I don't think I'd like it if she purchased boxers for her boyfriend. I'm sure she'd think I was a whack-a-doo for making a fuss though.
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Post by gar on Jul 24, 2014 22:57:13 GMT
I'm with the majority - they're the equivalent of general clothing rather than underwear.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jul 24, 2014 23:04:10 GMT
Guess I really AM a prude.
The girl in question is my daughter, the boy her boyfriend. They have been dating for 10 months.
I just do not think it is appropriate for a 16 year old to buy their significant other underwear. She just turned 16 less than a month ago, and I would have been completely horrified if he had bought her underwear. I just about lost it when she showed them to me last night. Of course, she thinks I'm totally over-reacting and there is nothing wrong with it.
Oh well, I'm a prude and I own it. |
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Post by happymom on Jul 24, 2014 23:11:15 GMT
I wouldn't think it is sexual at all. It is a gift that I would give my young boys or teen boys. Nobody would gasp and go "gross, eww, too sexy"
It is the same as pajama pants.
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Post by Scrapbrat on Jul 24, 2014 23:11:58 GMT
I think it's okay. It doesn't seem inappropriate to me, though I admit that a boy buying underwear for his GF would cause me to feel differently.
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 24, 2014 23:13:57 GMT
I think it's fine... to me it's along the lines of pj pants. I agree with this. |
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Post by elaine on Jul 24, 2014 23:14:08 GMT
No problem for me.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 24, 2014 23:23:37 GMT
[]Oh well, I'm a prude and I own it. [/p][/quote] Own it and keep it going girl! If we don't make our kids stop and think about what they're doing, who will? Like I said above it's an accessory to teen boys- crazy version of a pocket square! But DH and I still point out the kids underpants are showing. We're mean like that... |
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Post by Tamhugh on Jul 24, 2014 23:27:35 GMT
I wouldn't think anything of it. Now, if my boys bought underwear for a girl at that age, it would probably bother me. I just don't think of boxers as "sexy" or lingerie. My boys wore them around the house or as pajamas. I also remember girls wearing them as shorts in college, so maybe that affects my opinion as well.
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Post by thatmarie on Jul 24, 2014 23:29:15 GMT
It wouldn't bother me personally
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 24, 2014 23:30:20 GMT
I think boxers are more considered like PJ bottoms/pj shorts. I do think 16 is a bit young for that though. But I think dating at 16 is when you should start dating, NOT buying gifts yet. ha
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Post by roxiemarie0524 on Jul 24, 2014 23:31:23 GMT
I would be fine with it. I remember when I was 17, I gave my boyfriend Tasmanian Devil boxers. He was a Loony Tunes fan.
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jul 24, 2014 23:31:33 GMT
I don't think it's a big deal. She probably bought them because she liked the fabric they were made of. I buy boxers for my boys based on the fabrics!
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jul 24, 2014 23:35:03 GMT
I don't get the boxers as an accessory or the same as pjs mentality. Sorry. I also don't get why most think they would NOT be okay with their 16 year old daughter's boyfriend buying them underwear, but are okay with girls buying it for their boyfriend. That confuses me. Boxers are still underwear.
Oh, and for the record, her boyfriend doesn't wear pants down low so that his underwear shows, so it's not a fashion accessory for him.
I do appreciate everyone's opinions. I guess I'm kind of surprised that the majority are okay with it. I thought there would be more of an even split. LOL
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Post by Goldynn on Jul 24, 2014 23:37:07 GMT
Eh, I don't really think it's a big deal. It's totally a double standard, but boxers (to me) do not have the same overtly sexual connotation as lingerie. So I would totally be opposed to a gift of lingerie from a teen boy to a teen girl, but the boxers don't bother me. This. |
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tiffanytwisted
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 24, 2014 23:41:08 GMT
My first inclination was no. Underwear is too personal.
And then I read some of the replies and have to agree (at least in my son's case) that his boxer briefs (from American Eagle) are a bit of a fashion statement, so maybe it isn't that big of a deal.
Until I read more replies and thought about him buying her underwear. Nope. Nope. Nope.
And what's good for the goose is good for the gander, so I'm back to no.
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