scrappammie
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Jun 25, 2014 21:31:40 GMT
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Post by scrappammie on Jul 26, 2014 17:43:41 GMT
I think what I was trying to get to with my Santa comment is that I don't perceive the sexual overtones with underwear that some of you clearly do. That's okay. If you do, then discuss it with your daughter. In my home, we don't equate clothing with behavior.
Kind of like hoodies... kwim? ymmv. That's all.
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Post by katiekaty on Jul 26, 2014 17:45:59 GMT
Having raised two teenager girls and two teenager boys-the answer is NO. Not appropriate from the giving or the receiving side. Underwear is underwear. Take them back and buy a T-shirt instead.
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Post by sues on Jul 26, 2014 20:07:56 GMT
Sue, while I get what you`re saying re: your kid, your rules, I`m not sure it was worth the damage it did to your relationship with your SIL. I mean, really, if what she bought wasn`t risque, it just happened to have a VS logo, I admit I don`t see the problem, esp as it was from a family member. It would have been easy enough to let DD keep the items and just limit where they are to be worn - i.e., if they were PJs, they aren`t to be PJs worn for PJ Day at school.
I don't really understand how asking for a gift receipt = damaging my relationship with SIL. Not even a little.
If people think VS logo clothing is OK for their little girls- they are free to buy them and have them wear them anywhere they want. I do not feel that way. Why should I try and figure out what to do with it when it's given to my kid? I don't want it- period. It would be a waste of money to keep it and figure out a way for her to wear it. Better to get a gift receipt and purchase something she will be able to actually use. Or better yet- include the gift receipt with the gift- and it's a non-issue.
It doesn't really matter who doesn't see a problem with the item - I see a problem with the item. And that's where 'my kid my rules' come into it.
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Post by ptamom on Jul 26, 2014 20:33:24 GMT
Nah, that'd be ok with me. Now if they were "sexy underwear" ![:sick:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/c2qi57qoGpXKdFvBtXdt.jpg) I'd have a problem with it!! Gah! Pass the eye bleach, please!
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Post by LAM88 on Jul 27, 2014 3:43:06 GMT
I don't really understand how asking for a gift receipt = damaging my relationship with SIL. Not even a little. You did say that SILs nose had been out of joint since then so clearly it did affect your relationship. Honestly if someone gives me a gift I don't like I politely thank them and move on. A dear friend gave my son a tshirt for his birthday which I thought was inappropriate (I don't think friend understood the double entendre). We thanked her for it and moved on. I took it back to the store for store credit, but if I hadn't been able to get the store credit then DS would have understood why he was left with nothing (although I probably would have just bought him another tshirt). No need for discussion on the matter or hurt feelings.
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styxgirl
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Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Jul 27, 2014 5:09:50 GMT
I think the reason behind it would be important. Flag boxers for the 4th of July wouldn't bother me as it's a fun type of gift. Buying your BF his daily underwear is more intimate and reeks of the fact that she knows what underwear he's wearing and doesn't like it. Since she just turned 16, that would bother me. ![:yeahthat:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/yrGoHMAelQz8f2Qt0sjb.jpg) Exactly
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cycworker
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 27, 2014 6:56:39 GMT
I don't really understand how asking for a gift receipt = damaging my relationship with SIL. Not even a little. You did say that SILs nose had been out of joint since then so clearly it did affect your relationship. Honestly if someone give's me a gift I don't like I politely thank them and move on. A dear friend gave my son a tshirt for his birthday which I thought was inappropriate (I don't think friend understood the double entendre). We thanked her for it and moved on. I took it back to the store for store credit, but if I hadn't been able to get the store credit then DS would have understood why he was left with nothing (although I probably would have just bought him another tshirt). No need for discussion on the matter or hurt feelings. That`s exactly what I was getting at, Sue.
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cycworker
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 27, 2014 7:05:48 GMT
Why does it matter if it is sexy or not? So if a 16 year old boy bought his girlfriend underwear with say stripes on them from JCP, not a thong, just normal underwear, would that be okay, because it's cute and not sexy?
I know I asked for opinions, and I'm not trying to be difficult, but I really do NOT get the double standard here. It's still underwear, whether it is sexy or not. Whether it is for a boy or a girl. It's still underwear. And I still do not think it is appropriate for 16 year olds to give each other underwear for gifts. Again, obviously, I am a prude.
I don`t see it as a double standard. Girls wear guys` boxers as shorts in public. That, for me, puts it in a different category than more traditional and/or intimate underwear. And no, it wouldn`t be ok for a 16 yr old boy to be buying a girl underwear in any form. But girls generally don`t wear just a pair of underwear w/o pants or a skirt over top. Guys wouldn`t do that with briefs or boxer briefs, either. Boxers are different.
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mystydog
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Jul 3, 2014 7:28:10 GMT
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Post by mystydog on Jul 27, 2014 7:47:55 GMT
I have four boys and it would not bother me at all. I agree with the others that say boxers are not a sexual present like lingerie.
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joelise
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Post by joelise on Jul 27, 2014 10:33:28 GMT
I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. When my nephew was 16 he was very into labelled boxers. They're a fashion statement. I don't see it as inappropriate in any way.
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 27, 2014 12:43:17 GMT
I have a 19 yr. old daughter and a 15 yr. old son. I would not like either of them, at age 16, buying or receiving underwear to or from their boyfriend/girlfriend. I know my 19 yr. old bought her boyfriend American Eagle boxers for Christmas this year. I won't lie, I cringed a bit on the inside. ![;-|](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/squint.png) . But, hey, she's 19 yrs. old and I just reminded myself that she's old enough to make those kind of choices without consulting me. I don't have to like it. But at 16, I would have said, "No. It's not appropriate." JMO.
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Post by transprntbutterfly on Jul 27, 2014 13:49:49 GMT
I wouldn't think anything of it. Now, if my boys bought underwear for a girl at that age, it would probably bother me. I just don't think of boxers as "sexy" or lingerie. My boys wore them around the house or as pajamas. I also remember girls wearing them as shorts in college, so maybe that affects my opinion as well. This is my opinion word for word. And I am the mom of 2 boys, so this isn't even a blip on my radar. That said, if either of my boys bought underwear for a GF at age 16 I would find that highly inappropriate.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jul 27, 2014 14:21:50 GMT
Honest question with no snark intended, so please take it as such....
For those who think that boxers are as intimate as women's panties, do you see mens' white undershirts in the same way you see a bra? (Confessing that I confiscated a few of DH's really nice ones to wear under cardigans and now worried that I am offending people by wearing visible underwear)
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Post by sues on Jul 27, 2014 15:57:26 GMT
You did say that SILs nose had been out of joint since then so clearly it did affect your relationship.
Honestly if someone gives me a gift I don't like I politely thank them and move on. A dear friend gave my son a tshirt for his birthday which I thought was inappropriate (I don't think friend understood the double entendre). We thanked her for it and moved on. I took it back to the store for store credit, but if I hadn't been able to get the store credit then DS would have understood why he was left with nothing (although I probably would have just bought him another tshirt).
No need for discussion on the matter or hurt feelings.
I still don't think asking for the gift receipt is responsible for damaging the relationship. Nor should it be.
My SIL's nose is out of joint because she thinks she is the epitome of all that is right and good. Every once in awhile, when someone or something disabuses her of this notion- she gets her nose out of joint. That's her problem- not mine. She's always been free to let me know when she thinks something is or isn't appropriate. I don't feel any obligation to figure out a purpose for her ill considered gifts. If a gift receipt wasn't an option- we'd have gotten store credit- which I'd use to buy my niece's next gift, since they apparently love VS. I'd let my daughter pick out something for the equivalent somewhere else. But why would I go through that trouble, if a gift receipt was available? It's what they're for. I can't imagine getting my feelings hurt over someone asking for a gift receipt.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Jul 27, 2014 19:59:02 GMT
Thought I would update.
My daughter ended up asking my husband/her dad what he thought about her giving him boxers, and my husband had an absolute FIT and took her himself to take them back. My 20 year old son also thought it was a terrible gift. He asked me, "Mom, what would you think if he gave HER underwear??" LOL I also talked to his mom the other night when she dropped him off, and I jokingly said, "oh, _______got __________ a package of boxers because she thought they were funny, but I'm making her take them back." His mom said, "Thank god! I would have had a heart attack when he opened THAT!" (She is having dinner at their house on his birthday). So apparently, I'm not only a prude, but I'm surrounded by them. LOL
On a funnier note, I took her shopping today for the rest of his gifts. She wanted to get him 16 things--some just little things. Among other things, she ended up getting a Let's Go Fishing game and a toy stuffed puppy. She got the game because he said he wants to take her fishing sometime, and she thought it would be funny. She's having a blast right now making him a card and wrapping everything. When she gives it to him, she's going to put it all in a big box with helium balloons inside.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 27, 2014 20:23:50 GMT
Sorry, but how silly....her tote bag is clear pink vinyl, with pink pineapples all over it, and it says "Pink" in random places. I'd take a picture of it to show you, but she's at work and has it with her. He got it for her to use as a beach bag because right after her birthday, we went to Florida. That screams sexy? Who knew...LOL And he was with his mom when he got it. You do know what "pink" is a euphemism for, right? Just saying.....
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Jul 27, 2014 20:32:07 GMT
Thought I would update.
My daughter ended up asking my husband/her dad what he thought about her giving him boxers, and my husband had an absolute FIT and took her himself to take them back. My 20 year old son also thought it was a terrible gift. He asked me, "Mom, what would you think if he gave HER underwear??" LOL I also talked to his mom the other night when she dropped him off, and I jokingly said, "oh, _______got __________ a package of boxers because she thought they were funny, but I'm making her take them back." His mom said, "Thank god! I would have had a heart attack when he opened THAT!" (She is having dinner at their house on his birthday). So apparently, I'm not only a prude, but I'm surrounded by them. LOL
In all seriousness, sadly, yes, you are. I`m with GrinningCat, though - were I your daughter, I`d just go back and purchase them again. But at 16, it would never have occurred to me to show my parents what I`d bought for a friend or boyfriend for their birthday.
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craftchickapowpow
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Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Jul 27, 2014 20:40:19 GMT
boxers are just an extension of pants for this stupid sagger look. I would be very bothered if my kid brought home somebody with their pants sagging around their knees whether she gave him the underwear or not. If I don't have to see them, I wouldn't care.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on Jul 27, 2014 20:50:01 GMT
Yes, she certainly may do that and give them to him without me knowing. I can't stop that. At least for now, his mom won't have to be horrified when he opens his gift in front of them, if he does. I'm sure he will, because they are having a barbeque for him on his birthday.
As for the second part...I don't see anything wrong with her showing me what she got him. Today, she asked me to take her shopping for his birthday, and wanted my opinion on a few things. She's 16--just turned 16 a few weeks ago. She's not an adult. She doesn't have a driver's license, and pretty much needs me to take her shopping when she needs to. Only one of her friends has a license, and that is who she happened to be with when she bought the boxers. She talks to me and is very open about everything, and I happen to think that is good thing.
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jul 28, 2014 1:52:07 GMT
Girls wear guys` boxers as shorts in public. They do? Even with the front flap. Really? I get wearing them in private. But in public for real? Jul 27, 2014 15:23:50 GMT -5 femalebusiness said:
You do know what "pink" is a euphemism for, right? Just saying.....
I actually didn't know it was a euphemism for anything.
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cycworker
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 28, 2014 1:57:33 GMT
CountryHam - yep. I have seen it, here, too. I wondered about the front flap. Maybe they get it sewn? Have never looked that closely.
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teddyw
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Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Jul 28, 2014 2:09:44 GMT
Sorry, but how silly....her tote bag is clear pink vinyl, with pink pineapples all over it, and it says "Pink" in random places. I'd take a picture of it to show you, but she's at work and has it with her. He got it for her to use as a beach bag because right after her birthday, we went to Florida. That screams sexy? Who knew...LOL And he was with his mom when he got it. You do know what "pink" is a euphemism for, right? Just saying..... Learned something new from the Peas again. I must live under a rock & I have teenage daughters.
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Post by melanell on Jul 28, 2014 2:22:18 GMT
They do? Even with the front flap. Really? I get wearing them in private. But in public for real? When we were wearing them back in my teen years, we wore our own regular underwear under them. So even if they didn't do anything with the flap, it wasn't an enormous deal. After all, I see the "T"s of thong underwear all the time these days, so a flash of underwear through a flap wasn't much different. But this was during the big t-shirt phase, so our shirts were probably covering the silly flap anyway. I went to see if I could find a pic of mine, and yes, my shirt was plenty long enough to hide the flap.
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Post by ingrid6 on Jul 28, 2014 2:52:21 GMT
Thought I would update.
My daughter ended up asking my husband/her dad what he thought about her giving him boxers, and my husband had an absolute FIT and took her himself to take them back. My 20 year old son also thought it was a terrible gift. He asked me, "Mom, what would you think if he gave HER underwear??" LOL I also talked to his mom the other night when she dropped him off, and I jokingly said, "oh, _______got __________ a package of boxers because she thought they were funny, but I'm making her take them back." His mom said, "Thank god! I would have had a heart attack when he opened THAT!" (She is having dinner at their house on his birthday). So apparently, I'm not only a prude, but I'm surrounded by them. LOL
In all seriousness, sadly, yes, you are. I`m with GrinningCat, though - were I your daughter, I`d just go back and purchase them again. But at 16, it would never have occurred to me to show my parents what I`d bought for a friend or boyfriend for their birthday. Really? ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg) "Sadly, yes" she's a prude because her (and others like her) choices are different than those who are ok with it? And just saying... my kids have always shown what they bought for bf/gf for bday or Christmas - why wouldn't they? They share in the excitement of gift giving just as they do for friends, siblings, relatives etc.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 28, 2014 2:59:28 GMT
On a funnier note, I took her shopping today for the rest of his gifts. She wanted to get him 16 things--some just little things. Among other things, she ended up getting a Let's Go Fishing game and a toy stuffed puppy. She got the game because he said he wants to take her fishing sometime, and she thought it would be funny. She's having a blast right now making him a card and wrapping everything. When she gives it to him, she's going to put it all in a big box with helium balloons inside.
Aww, I think that is sweet.
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Post by scrapnatya on Jul 28, 2014 3:05:35 GMT
Sorry, but how silly....her tote bag is clear pink vinyl, with pink pineapples all over it, and it says "Pink" in random places. I'd take a picture of it to show you, but she's at work and has it with her. He got it for her to use as a beach bag because right after her birthday, we went to Florida. That screams sexy? Who knew...LOL And he was with his mom when he got it. You do know what "pink" is a euphemism for, right? Just saying..... You do know what "pink" is a euphemism for, right? Just saying..... ummmmm. no. And neither does my 18 yr old daughter.
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*~*amanda*~*
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Post by *~*amanda*~* on Jul 28, 2014 4:16:44 GMT
Inappropriate. I'm the mom of 3 boys and stepmom to another boy.
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NoWomanNoCry
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 28, 2014 4:40:05 GMT
CountryHam - yep. I have seen it, here, too. I wondered about the front flap. Maybe they get it sewn? Have never looked that closely. I agree^^^ I know a few females that wear men's boxers as well. My Ex wore regular underwear under his boxers (weird I thought lol). So to some boxers aren't underwear they are really just sleep pants/shorts.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 28, 2014 4:43:18 GMT
So apparently, I'm not only a prude, but I'm surrounded by them. LOL <----- As am I, avatar notwithstanding. Just think what a letdown it could have been to be this excited and then get completely blindsided by Boyfriend's family's reaction at a family celebration. How awkward. As a previous poster said, it's wise to alert teens to potential reactions from others. They don't know what they don't know. Ya' done good, Mom.
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Deleted
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Jun 17, 2024 15:11:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 5:12:09 GMT
CountryHam - yep. I have seen it, here, too. I wondered about the front flap. Maybe they get it sewn? Have never looked that closely. I always wore panties under mine and most of the ones I had, had a button on the fly. I wear 2 pairs of Spongebob men's boxers now to sleep in. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) . Not OUT anywhere.....but 20+years ago? You bet. To the mall, to friends houses, and occasionally to school in the warmer months. I think 20 years ago, they were our generations version of lounge/PJ pants we're graced with seeing everywhere daily.
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