|
Post by coffeetalk on May 2, 2016 22:18:21 GMT
Thought I'd make a ''pit'' stop.
|
|
|
Post by Tamhugh on May 2, 2016 22:24:48 GMT
The Wedding Industry Complex aka the horrific wedding industry that tells us only cookie cutter weddings are the acceptable choice. Also known as the source of nightmares. We are at the age where our friends' children and our childrens' friends are all starting to get married. We have been to 5 or more weddings in the past two years and every one has been dramatically different and totally reflected the couples' personalities. Several of my friends and I have been talking about how cool it is that Pinterest seems to have encouraged couples to do their own thing and make their weddings more personal. So, at least in my experience, and among the brides and grooms that I know, no one is feeling pressure to be a cookie cutter bride and groom.
|
|
|
Post by Jockscrap on May 2, 2016 22:27:39 GMT
I despise the word 'pit'. 'Arm pit' is not much better. 'Pit hair' sends me over the edge. Phrases like 'shave your pits' just make me cringe. I can't believe I even opened the thread. Nine pages in, are we able to change it to 'underarm'? Underarm hair. That's so much nicer sounding. ETA - In Scotland, armpits are called oxters. Now isn't that a lovely sounding word. As in, ' Awa ye clarty bissum and scalp yer minging oxters'.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,175
Location: Western Illinois
Member is Online
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on May 2, 2016 22:39:17 GMT
For those debating about whether to continue shaving pits, as you get older you may find you really don't need to as often or even at all.
For me, I think putting on anti-perspirant on top of pit hair is gross, and I just can't imagine that it would work as well.
I really don't care what other people choose to do, but yes, I'd probably notice and remember if a bridesmaid participating in the bouquet toss raised her arms and exposed tufts of underarm hair.
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on May 2, 2016 22:48:01 GMT
I think it's sound advice but I disagree that it won't be distracting. It will be. I have a family member who doesn't shave her legs or arms and it is very noticeable when she wears skirts and/or sleeveless. Just her regular movements reveal her hair. I agree. My stepbrother's fiancé is a self-proclaimed feminist and apparently doesn't shave her armpits (but does appear to shave her legs?). Last summer she wore a sleeveless shirt when we were together and it was very noticeable. Even if that isn't the only thing people remember from the wedding, I have no doubt that people will notice and remember seeing this bridesmaids hairy armpits. Whether people want to admit it or not, it is a cultural norm that women shave their armpits. When people go against that, people notice. I also have to wonder if the SIL would be more offended at being asked to shave, or if she was left out of the wedding party for that reason or the bride chose dresses with sleeves (which I have never seen before).
|
|
|
Post by lisacharlotte on May 2, 2016 22:54:24 GMT
I am in the "it's incredibly rude to even contemplate asking someone to shave". At 50 and through menopause, that hairy underarm bush is going nowhere. I stopped shaving a few years ago because it itches so horribly after shaving, gets all rashy, then I'd have to stop shaving so it could heal. I got waxed, but it didn't get rid of all of it. Last year I got a $99 underarm laser special from a new spa. 6 treatments. I have my 6th and last this month. It didn't get rid of all the hair, but got about 95% of it. I'll consider some maintenance treatments to keep it down. It's not a permanent solution, but it lasts a few years and what's left is very little.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 16:02:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 22:57:41 GMT
So… what do you all do with your pubes? I believe the rules state you cannot change the topic in a "gate." Therefore, you'll have to start your own "gate." You did get us to page 10, so bravo and thank you!
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 2, 2016 23:07:31 GMT
So… what do you all do with your pubes? I believe the rules state you cannot change the topic in a "gate." Therefore, you'll have to start your own "gate." You did get us to page 10, so bravo and thank you! It was weak attempt to be the first to get to page ten. I got caught up in the hype. This is why I do not watch sports.
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on May 2, 2016 23:09:47 GMT
I'm only on page 6 of this thread, so I don't know if it'll be brought up anywhere farther on, but I have to post a thought I just had:
In all 6 pages I've read so far, not ONE post has said anything about the groom's feelings in this whole thing. (well, perhaps grinningcat's did; I can't remember)
Doesn't the fact that the bridesmaid in question is THE GROOM'S SISTER mean he might get some say in this issue?? Or at least be able to discuss with the bride how his sister may feel about it? And quite possibly, the 'armpit hair debacle' and how the bride to be may be treating HIS SISTER may be of more importance than just what the photographs will look like?? Or is the groom just an afterthought at his own wedding??
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 16:02:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 23:14:58 GMT
I believe the rules state you cannot change the topic in a "gate." Therefore, you'll have to start your own "gate." You did get us to page 10, so bravo and thank you! It was weak attempt to be the first to get to page ten. I got caught up in the hype. This is why I do not watch sports. Love it! And thank you!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 16:02:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 23:21:17 GMT
He was at mine Seriously I remember that day, just over 21 years ago...it was such a blur, the whole frenzy of the planning and getting ready and the family around and all my bridesmaids and the little flower girls and it was raining...finally got to the church, walking down the aisle in all my pouf-y white (cleanly shaven) fabulousness, looking left and right at my friends and family and some people that I didn't know who the hell they were...and I finally got to the end and and noticed..."Oh, look at that, DH is here too!"
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 23:30:04 GMT
So… what do you all do with your pubes? Maybe we can find someone to knit the pubes into a shrug. Or a nice little beret!!
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on May 2, 2016 23:39:04 GMT
So… what do you all do with your pubes? Maybe we can find someone to knit the pubes into a shrug. Or a nice little beret!! ...a shrug for the hippy SIL bridesmaid to cover her underarm hair with, perhaps?? I had to actually go back to the OP and read it again... I wanted to make sure it was NOT just the mother of the groom and actually WAS the bride who had the issue: "The bride-to-be asked me how to approach her to request that she remove her armpit hair on the day of the wedding. Is there a tactful way to approach this without offending my daughter and possibly causing bad feelings between her and the bride? -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY"
Seems to me that the bride IS a bit 'caught up in the hype' and more concerned about the superficial than the fact that ithe wedding is the start to a (supposedly lifetime) marriage. And after reading the entire 1o-page thread (way to go, refupeas!!), I agree with the poster who said that some years in the future, the groom and his sister will be talking, and she'll say 'hey, remember when your crazy ex-wife was offended by the thought of seeing my armpit hair during your wedding?'
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 16:02:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 23:39:48 GMT
For those debating about whether to continue shaving pits, as you get older you may find you really don't need to as often or even at all. For me, I think putting on anti-perspirant on top of pit hair is gross, and I just can't imagine that it would work as well. I really don't care what other people choose to do, but yes, I'd probably notice and remember if a bridesmaid participating in the bouquet toss raised her arms and exposed tufts of underarm hair. Yes, this exactly. At least for me. I love not having to shave my underarm (better Julee?) hair any longer! One of the bonuses for getting old. There aren't many, so I'll take what I can get!
Going back to the original topic, my opinion is that the bride has the right to ask her bridesmaid to shave. Key word - ask, not demand. The SIL may agree to it, or she may not. She may take it as just a simple request, or she may get offended. If it means that much to the bride, then she needs to bite the bullet and ask. Or forget about it. She should not have asked her future mother-in-law to do the asking though. If she isn't brave enough to ask on her own, then she has her answer.
I don't think underarm hair will detract that much. Unless she is constantly waving her arms in the air like she just doesn't care. The bride could ask the photographer to make sure not to capture any photos of her SIL doing that. Walking down the aisle, she will have her arms at her side, elbows crocked to hold the bouquet. Same with the traditional altar photos. Only time she might have her arms high enough is if she participates in the bouquet toss or maybe on the dance floor.
Anyhow, that's my .02. I just wanted to belong.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 3, 2016 0:04:47 GMT
So… what do you all do with your pubes? Maybe we can find someone to knit the pubes into a shrug. Or a nice little beret!! Even on the internet there is a line. Clearly you have crossed it and gone another mile. I would think beret though, a shrug of pubes might just be way too scratchy.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on May 3, 2016 0:36:22 GMT
Maybe Dear Abby can send get us a pic of said sil? I really need to see these offensive bushes under this gals pits. I don't shave from Sept to May. I never knew I was a savage! I smell pretty nice as I shower, with shower gel, use deo, and use bath & body works products. Unless someone has X-ray vision they would never know about my disgusting hygiene. And truth be told, even in sleeveless months I'm not a daily shaver. Oh well, "sew" me. Consider yourself 'sewed' ....... Quilted even.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 3, 2016 0:38:53 GMT
Maybe we can find someone to knit the pubes into a shrug. Or a nice little beret!! ...a shrug for the hippy SIL bridesmaid to cover her underarm hair with, perhaps?? I had to actually go back to the OP and read it again... I wanted to make sure it was NOT just the mother of the groom and actually WAS the bride who had the issue: "The bride-to-be asked me how to approach her to request that she remove her armpit hair on the day of the wedding. Is there a tactful way to approach this without offending my daughter and possibly causing bad feelings between her and the bride? -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY"
Seems to me that the bride IS a bit 'caught up in the hype' and more concerned about the superficial than the fact that ithe wedding is the start to a (supposedly lifetime) marriage. And after reading the entire 1o-page thread (way to go, refupeas!!), I agree with the poster who said that some years in the future, the groom and his sister will be talking, and she'll say 'hey, remember when your crazy ex-wife was offended by the thought of seeing my armpit hair during your wedding?' The conversation could also go the other way... (Bride to her kids or the kids of her hairy SIL) "Hey do you remember the hairy pits your mom/aunt sported at our wedding?" Or "hey mom, what's that furry nest under your arm in that picture of auntie's wedding?"
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on May 3, 2016 0:46:15 GMT
I'm only on page 6 of this thread, so I don't know if it'll be brought up anywhere farther on, but I have to post a thought I just had: In all 6 pages I've read so far, not ONE post has said anything about the groom's feelings in this whole thing. (well, perhaps grinningcat's did; I can't remember) Doesn't the fact that the bridesmaid in question is THE GROOM'S SISTER mean he might get some say in this issue?? Or at least be able to discuss with the bride how his sister may feel about it? And quite possibly, the 'armpit hair debacle' and how the bride to be may be treating HIS SISTER may be of more importance than just what the photographs will look like?? Or is the groom just an afterthought at his own wedding?? Honestly I'm baffled. My two would fight it out amongst themselves. DD is more dominant and DS used to adore DD so DS would be doing whatever she said unless he was in an FU mood and does the opposite just to prove a point wether that's what he wants to do or not. ( he's working on that issue, he needs to find himself ) But it would be settled without Abby ( or me )
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on May 3, 2016 0:48:19 GMT
Maybe we can find someone to knit the pubes into a shrug. Or a nice little beret!! Even on the internet there is a line. Clearly you have crossed it and gone another mile. I would think beret though, a shrug of pubes might just be way too scratchy. Are you going to dye it Raspberry before knitting?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 16:02:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 0:52:45 GMT
Let's face it. A bridesmaid who doesn't shave will likely also wave her hands in the air like she just don't care.
|
|
|
Post by seikashaven on May 3, 2016 0:56:34 GMT
Bride's choices: - who is in her wedding party - what style/color of dress they'll wear
Bridesmaid's choices: - accepting/declining being in the wedding party - the state of her own body hair
The bride can gently ask if the SIL would be comfortable shaving, but if she declines the bride better have a back up plan (shrug, photoshop etc.).
The women I know who don't shave make that choice deliberately and passionately. They feel woman are oppressed by traditional beauty standards and are making a statement when they choose to differ from societal norms. To ask them to go against that belief for a photo op is disrespectful and superficial.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on May 3, 2016 0:58:19 GMT
And now it seems we are just missing the Hoff to make it complete.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 3, 2016 1:05:23 GMT
Let's face it. A bridesmaid who doesn't shave will likely also wave her hands in the air like she just don't care. It will change the chicken dance forever.
|
|
|
Post by scrapsotime on May 3, 2016 1:10:15 GMT
Ah, conformity. The old we all must conform to fit in the box society wants us to fit in and we know you are different, but god forbid we have to see it.
|
|
M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
|
Post by M in Carolina on May 3, 2016 3:26:25 GMT
Maybe Dear Abby can send get us a pic of said sil? I really need to see these offensive bushes under this gals pits. I don't shave from Sept to May. I never knew I was a savage! I smell pretty nice as I shower, with shower gel, use deo, and use bath & body works products. Unless someone has X-ray vision they would never know about my disgusting hygiene. And truth be told, even in sleeveless months I'm not a daily shaver. Oh well, "sew" me. Got ya covered! bridesmaid's underarm hair I don't really like armpit hair on guys, either. No matter who's it is--it's the pits! I really don't think anyone would really notice her pit hair if she starts dancing with her arms up... Everyone will be too busy watching for wardrobe malfunctions.
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on May 3, 2016 3:49:58 GMT
Is not shaving your arm pits a "thing" besides with the feminist, hippie crowd? Some of the pics that came up when I clicked the link above are, um, interesting.
|
|
|
Post by Chips on May 3, 2016 4:10:40 GMT
And now it seems we are just missing the Hoff to make it complete. The Hoff has appeared.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on May 3, 2016 10:05:43 GMT
And now it seems we are just missing the Hoff to make it complete. The Hoff has appeared. I don't know whether to be glad or mad.... I finally got caught up and I was going to mention the Hoff Ok I have decided to be glad. Who is in charge of badges around here? Pretty please? I still regret not getting the Boardgate one.
|
|
|
Post by jbelle on May 3, 2016 14:01:40 GMT
Let's face it. A bridesmaid who doesn't shave will likely also wave her hands in the air like she just don't care. It will change the chicken dance forever. Well at least it matches her dress. Not quite ready to google other color alternatives.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on May 3, 2016 14:14:59 GMT
This. All of this. I was going to say the exact same thing. The WIC wants you to believe (and spend spend spend) that the advertisement worthy wedding is the only wedding worth having. Anything that "threatens" that advert perfect wedding must be destroyed. I swear I am going to write a book about planning a wedding while giving a thousand less fucks what society, the WIC and your families want. When DH and I got married, we received so many comments from others about how laid back we were that DH finally asked me "What are couples usually doing to these people??". I worked with brides & grooms nearly every day for several years, so I had plenty of experience in engaged couples, but DH was clueless. But back then, what I saw, wasn't trying to conform to what they felt was perfect, but having their own (often rigid) ideas of perfection and not willing to allow anything to be less than what they had in mind. And perfection isn't realistic. But I do agree, that the wedding industry and people in general do tend to put forth the idea that the wedding day should be perfect and that it's all about the bride, etc. And those things drive me batty. I just think that for some folks the focus is far too much on the wedding and not nearly enough on the marriage. It's one day out of what is supposed to be the rest of your life. I think that for some people, weddings have gotten completely out of hand. So you write the book and I'll give it to every engaged couple I know for the rest of my life.
|
|