|
Post by elaine on May 2, 2016 11:52:51 GMT
Another side topic: since so many consider armpit hair to be an issue of hygiene, does that mean that all men except professional swimmers are unkempt dirty slobs? I just don't get how having armpit hair in one gender indicates that they are dirty and have poor hygiene and has no such meaning for the other gender.
I shave my armpits, as I mentioned, and I will probably continue to, but I think that the double-standard is a somewhat ridiculous premise on to which base the argument that it is perfectly acceptable to ask a bridesmaid to shave.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 11:56:30 GMT
Another side topic: since so many consider armpit hair to be an issue of hygiene, does that mean that all men except professional swimmers are unkempt dirty slobs? I just don't get how having armpit hair in one gender indicates that they are dirty and have poor hygiene and has no such meaning for the other gender. I shave my armpits, as I mentioned, and I will probably continue to, but I think that the double-standard is a somewhat ridiculous premise on to which base the argument that it is perfectly acceptable to ask a bridesmaid to shave. I've often wondered that as well. I shave my pits because it gets itchy if I don't, but I've also been known to skip it if I don't have a razor handy. It's not that big of a deal, and I really don't give a fuck if someone's going to judge me for having naturally occurring hair. But according to the pure pea standards, any woman with armpit hair is an unkempt slob yet it's just fine in men. I hate gender double standards. If I could get past the itchiness, I'd probably stop shaving just because of it. But I hate feeling itchy.
|
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
|
Post by mallie on May 2, 2016 11:59:24 GMT
The Wedding Industry Complex aka the horrific wedding industry that tells us only cookie cutter weddings are the acceptable choice. Also known as the source of nightmares. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. If someone chooses to be cookie cutter, they're the one wielding the tool, no one else.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 17:51:34 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 12:08:08 GMT
The Wedding Industry Complex aka the horrific wedding industry that tells us only cookie cutter weddings are the acceptable choice. Also known as the source of nightmares. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. If someone chooses to be cookie cutter, they're the one wielding the tool, no one else. If someone wants the 'perfect' wedding and it is cookie cutter to others then that's on them. I feel that having a go at those choices is just as bad as feeling that armpit hair is gross. Why is it ok to belittle the whole wedding choice? That to me is equally disrespectful to women.
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on May 2, 2016 12:22:28 GMT
Facial hair grows back too but I would also find it overly presumptuous to ask a groomsman to get rid of his beard. Me? I would give as much stock to people talking about my bridesmaid's armpit hair as I would to them talking about her weight. Of course, if I didn't want to 'deal with it' or 'hear comments afterwards', I guess I could have asked my bridesmaids if they could lose a few pounds before 'our day'. That wouldn't have been unreasonable, would it? The amount of weight loss bullshit that I was sent or had to deal with during my wedding planning last year was obnoxious and actually kind of horrifying. Did you know there are wedding shows in the States that have liposuction and boob jobs as grand prizes? It's really disgusting how the WIC insists on model ideals and anything outside of the ad perfect body/dress/outfit/entourage is discouraged and mocked. It's really disheartening. Vomitous.
|
|
luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
|
Post by luckyexwife on May 2, 2016 12:43:44 GMT
We totally need to peatljuice the dear Abby writer, SIL, or bride to see what really happened! ! We need the real life follow-up!
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 13:18:49 GMT
The Wedding Industry Complex aka the horrific wedding industry that tells us only cookie cutter weddings are the acceptable choice. Also known as the source of nightmares. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. If someone chooses to be cookie cutter, they're the one wielding the tool, no one else. No. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. Not even close. Except that's what the WIC wants you to have and that's what they market. Just look at how the industry markets themselves. It's not about finding yourself and making the wedding your own... it's about them pumping out the products and the looks and the trends that they want to see at weddings. A lot of people fall for it. More and more people are turning away, but I've lost count of how many people go to weddings and can't mention one unique thing about it because it all looks the same. Hey, if you want a cookie cutter wedding, go for it. There are a lot of resources to make it happen, with a lot of money spent. That's on you. It would just be nice if the not so cookie cutter or even completely non-traditional wedding got the same respect.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 13:20:34 GMT
No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. If someone chooses to be cookie cutter, they're the one wielding the tool, no one else. If someone wants the 'perfect' wedding and it is cookie cutter to others then that's on them. I feel that having a go at those choices is just as bad as feeling that armpit hair is gross. Why is it ok to belittle the whole wedding choice? That to me is equally disrespectful to women. I'm not having a go at anyone who wants a wedding that is on trend, looks like every other wedding and is just what the magazines are looking for. If that's what they want. Great. I am reacting to the absurd amount of pressure that is put upon anyone getting married by the industry itself. It's the industry that I think is completely out of control. My only wish is that more people would rebel against it.
|
|
|
Post by gryroagain on May 2, 2016 14:15:05 GMT
Mercy. This is why I am glad I eloped 20 years ago! Basically as soon as I got engaged my mom started sending me wedding ideas and plans. It was overwhelming and horrific, and we did t even have a date yet. No thank you.
I don't shave my armpits, and you can't see the hair unless I raise my arms up. So the specter of horrible hair in photos seems like hyperbole- how would it show? Does the bridesmaid have super long arm pit hair or something? I see this letter as a way to complain about a sister in law the bride probably doesn't like already, because the hair is not going to show even in a strapless dress, unless her arms are up and people are looking. And the term "hippy lifestyle" seems loaded- the bride clearly doesn't want this lady in the wedding,
And my armpit hair is not any more unhygienic than my husbands, and no one ever asks him why he doesn't shave, thank you very much. I am a mammal, I am an adult, I have body hair. Deal.
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on May 2, 2016 14:22:29 GMT
This whole thread makes me want to Free the Pit-hair, and I've had mine lasered away.
But really.. When it gets down to it.... Shouldn't anyone in your wedding party be familiar enough to have a frank discussion about dress code? And if you are in the party, you let the Bride have her moment?
|
|
|
Post by miominmio on May 2, 2016 14:28:59 GMT
Another side topic: since so many consider armpit hair to be an issue of hygiene, does that mean that all men except professional swimmers are unkempt dirty slobs? I just don't get how having armpit hair in one gender indicates that they are dirty and have poor hygiene and has no such meaning for the other gender. I shave my armpits, as I mentioned, and I will probably continue to, but I think that the double-standard is a somewhat ridiculous premise on to which base the argument that it is perfectly acceptable to ask a bridesmaid to shave. I've often wondered that as well. I shave my pits because it gets itchy if I don't, but I've also been known to skip it if I don't have a razor handy. It's not that big of a deal, and I really don't give a fuck if someone's going to judge me for having naturally occurring hair. But according to the pure pea standards, any woman with armpit hair is an unkempt slob yet it's just fine in men. I hate gender double standards. If I could get past the itchiness, I'd probably stop shaving just because of it. But I hate feeling itchy. And I itch when I shave, so in winter I don't. Contrary to what many Peas obviously believes, no I don't smell and yes, I shower, change and use deodorant every day (just like I do in summer). Removing hair has nothing to do with hygiene, and everything to do with societal norms. And it is puzzling why so many grown women refuse to admit that expectations from society is the reason why they're doing it, because if hygiene was the issue, they should have xpected the same behaviour from men.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on May 2, 2016 14:44:21 GMT
Another side topic: since so many consider armpit hair to be an issue of hygiene, does that mean that all men except professional swimmers are unkempt dirty slobs? I just don't get how having armpit hair in one gender indicates that they are dirty and have poor hygiene and has no such meaning for the other gender. I shave my armpits, as I mentioned, and I will probably continue to, but I think that the double-standard is a somewhat ridiculous premise on to which base the argument that it is perfectly acceptable to ask a bridesmaid to shave. It does make me wonder if men have unhygienic armpits. Cant believe we're still talking about armpits. Pitgate.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 14:58:38 GMT
No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. If someone chooses to be cookie cutter, they're the one wielding the tool, no one else. No. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. Not even close. Except that's what the WIC wants you to have and that's what they market. Just look at how the industry markets themselves. It's not about finding yourself and making the wedding your own... it's about them pumping out the products and the looks and the trends that they want to see at weddings. A lot of people fall for it. More and more people are turning away, but I've lost count of how many people go to weddings and can't mention one unique thing about it because it all looks the same. Hey, if you want a cookie cutter wedding, go for it. There are a lot of resources to make it happen, with a lot of money spent. That's on you. It would just be nice if the not so cookie cutter or even completely non-traditional wedding got the same respect. They do. It sounds like you're bitter about your wedding planning experience--but it's not like that everywhere. I see 20-40 weddings a year WITHOUT the bridezilla drama.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 15:05:44 GMT
Is your wedding about looking like a magazine advertisement, or is it about building relationships with very real people in your family/friends? This boils down to the power of advertising. In a bridal mag they can select models that are homogeneous in looks/size so everyone dressed in the same dress looks equally fabulous. But outside of the advertising photo studio life gets complicated, and hurtful if you are bent on having the right to have your own narcissistic "perfect princess day" where everyone will bow to your total demands on dress and grooming without requiring YOU to consider their personal feelings. Guaranteed way to destroy the friendships with the very friends and new family members you are wanting to support you. This. All of this. I was going to say the exact same thing. The WIC wants you to believe (and spend spend spend) that the advertisement worthy wedding is the only wedding worth having. Anything that "threatens" that advert perfect wedding must be destroyed. I swear I am going to write a book about planning a wedding while giving a thousand less fucks what society, the WIC and your families want. You're a little crazy ragey over this wedding stuff grinningcat. A bride can plan a wedding however she likes, regardless if you like it or not. You are starting to make it sound as if these brides have no choice, when they do--you just don't agree with it. I agree that boob jobs and lipo are horrible prizes at a wedding show (we've been to a dozen in the last 3 years but I've never seen that given away!) The genre of brides we encountered in at least the last 6 years have been so awesome, not one has been drama.
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on May 2, 2016 15:14:14 GMT
This. All of this. I was going to say the exact same thing. The WIC wants you to believe (and spend spend spend) that the advertisement worthy wedding is the only wedding worth having. Anything that "threatens" that advert perfect wedding must be destroyed. I swear I am going to write a book about planning a wedding while giving a thousand less fucks what society, the WIC and your families want. You're a little crazy ragey over this wedding stuff grinningcat . A bride can plan a wedding however she likes, regardless if you like it or not. You are starting to make it sound as if these brides have no choice, when they do--you just don't agree with it. I agree that boob jobs and lipo are horrible prizes at a wedding show (we've been to a dozen in the last 3 years but I've never seen that given away!) The genre of brides we encountered in at least the last 6 years have been so awesome, not one has been drama. Having paid my way through school in that industry, there is a LOT of pressure for women to have a 'perfect day' and it starts long before they are even at an age when they can marry. And the 'awesome' brides that I encountered were rare enough that I remember each and every one of them.
ETA* and the gaslighting you're pulling on GC really isn't cool.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on May 2, 2016 15:42:17 GMT
When weddings become political messes btwn families it hardly seems like a joyous occasion. The bride knowing that the sil doesn't shave could have selected dresses that cover the upper arm. It sounds like the sil's mother is trying to be controlling. Nevertheless, weddings are not an excuse to be an entitled, domineering brat. If your wedding is going to cause discord and stress then go somewhere lovely w/your fiancee and get married w/o family and w/o drama. There's also the option of having a destination wedding w/just parents, siblings and best friends of bride and groom. Why make it a nightmare?
Interestingly enough, after I had my first baby the wedding wasn't important. My new happiest event was the birth(minus the whole labor/pushing part)of my baby. Though I have very happy wedding memories they are nothing compared to the first time my baby giggled.
|
|
|
Post by whopea on May 2, 2016 15:55:18 GMT
If a friend back in the day said to them, "Hey Lotus Flower?" (or whatever they were calling themselves on the commune at that time) "I would prefer not to see your armpit hair undulating in the breeze on my wedding video for the rest of my life. Would you shave that day?" I am sure either of them would have answered as follows: "Groovy." This just cracked me up. Thanks for the giggle. For the OP original question. I have known brides that asked for tattoos to be covered or facial hair on men to be shaved. If it done respectfully, I don't see too much of a problem with it, although I see AN's point. I probably would not have wanted that confrontation later so I would not have included her on the wedding party list to begin with.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on May 2, 2016 16:00:03 GMT
Mercy. This is why I am glad I eloped 20 years ago! Basically as soon as I got engaged my mom started sending me wedding ideas and plans. It was overwhelming and horrific, and we did t even have a date yet. No thank you. I don't shave my armpits, and you can't see the hair unless I raise my arms up. So the specter of horrible hair in photos seems like hyperbole- how would it show? Does the bridesmaid have super long arm pit hair or something? I see this letter as a way to complain about a sister in law the bride probably doesn't like already, because the hair is not going to show even in a strapless dress, unless her arms are up and people are looking. And the term "hippy lifestyle" seems loaded- the bride clearly doesn't want this lady in the wedding, And my armpit hair is not any more unhygienic than my husbands, and no one ever asks him why he doesn't shave, thank you very much. I am a mammal, I am an adult, I have body hair. Deal. Except the bride didn't write the letter. The mother of the groom (also the mother of the SIL/bridesmaid) wrote the letter.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 16:02:24 GMT
You're a little crazy ragey over this wedding stuff grinningcat . A bride can plan a wedding however she likes, regardless if you like it or not. You are starting to make it sound as if these brides have no choice, when they do--you just don't agree with it. I agree that boob jobs and lipo are horrible prizes at a wedding show (we've been to a dozen in the last 3 years but I've never seen that given away!) The genre of brides we encountered in at least the last 6 years have been so awesome, not one has been drama. Having paid my way through school in that industry, there is a LOT of pressure for women to have a 'perfect day' and it starts long before they are even at an age when they can marry. And the 'awesome' brides that I encountered were rare enough that I remember each and every one of them.
ETA* and the gaslighting you're pulling on GC really isn't cool.
I have never said that there isn't pressure, I'm saying it's not like that everywhere. I'm saying a brides "perfect day" is not all brainwashy, full of drama, or angst that GC is getting all ragey about. A perfect day is not always about this industry she portrays. And "gaslighting"? Seriously? You need to look up the meaning because that just isn't happening. Geez.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 16:10:21 GMT
No. No one is forced to have a cookie cutter wedding. Not even close. Except that's what the WIC wants you to have and that's what they market. Just look at how the industry markets themselves. It's not about finding yourself and making the wedding your own... it's about them pumping out the products and the looks and the trends that they want to see at weddings. A lot of people fall for it. More and more people are turning away, but I've lost count of how many people go to weddings and can't mention one unique thing about it because it all looks the same. Hey, if you want a cookie cutter wedding, go for it. There are a lot of resources to make it happen, with a lot of money spent. That's on you. It would just be nice if the not so cookie cutter or even completely non-traditional wedding got the same respect. They do. It sounds like you're bitter about your wedding planning experience--but it's not like that everywhere. I see 20-40 weddings a year WITHOUT the bridezilla drama. I actually loved my wedding. It was great because I did what we wanted, not what the WIC or his family wanted. It was ours all the way. Most of the people I know are not bridezillas... but the ones that are stick out like sore thumb. And I'm not sure what your beef is with me... but whatevs.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 16:13:23 GMT
This. All of this. I was going to say the exact same thing. The WIC wants you to believe (and spend spend spend) that the advertisement worthy wedding is the only wedding worth having. Anything that "threatens" that advert perfect wedding must be destroyed. I swear I am going to write a book about planning a wedding while giving a thousand less fucks what society, the WIC and your families want. You're a little crazy ragey over this wedding stuff grinningcat . A bride can plan a wedding however she likes, regardless if you like it or not. You are starting to make it sound as if these brides have no choice, when they do--you just don't agree with it. I agree that boob jobs and lipo are horrible prizes at a wedding show (we've been to a dozen in the last 3 years but I've never seen that given away!) The genre of brides we encountered in at least the last 6 years have been so awesome, not one has been drama. I have said repeatedly that my beef is not with brides... it's with the WIC that wants every wedding to suit them and their trends not what the actual bride and groom want. If it's cookie cutter WIC? Fantastic. If it's not, it makes it really hard to plan something. I know because I've been there. And have friends that have had the same issues. My issue is with how the industry treats potential brides and grooms... it's a big freakin' racket to get as much money out of a couple as possible. That's my beef. It has nothing to do with the actual bride and groom. I'm just getting over my dealings with the wedding industry... and I guess I'm still recovering.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 2, 2016 16:17:26 GMT
Having paid my way through school in that industry, there is a LOT of pressure for women to have a 'perfect day' and it starts long before they are even at an age when they can marry. And the 'awesome' brides that I encountered were rare enough that I remember each and every one of them.
ETA* and the gaslighting you're pulling on GC really isn't cool.
I have never said that there isn't pressure, I'm saying it's not like that everywhere. I'm saying a brides "perfect day" is not all brainwashy, full of drama, or angst that GC is getting all ragey about. A perfect day is not always about this industry she portrays. And "gaslighting"? Seriously? You need to look up the meaning because that just isn't happening. Geez. You're right that a bride's perfect day isn't always what the industry wants it to be... but you have to admit that the industry and family members all put A LOT of pressure on the bride and groom to have that "perfect" day, that may or may not have anything to do with what the bride and groom actually want. That's my beef. That there are vendors and even family members or friends who dare to tell the couple what they should have rather than what they want because that's the only way to have a "perfect" wedding. There is no such thing as a perfect wedding, and it cannot be dictated by anyone other than the couple getting married. That's my beef with the WIC. Well, that and the outrageous costs that occur when the word "WEDDING" appears. It's out of control.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on May 2, 2016 16:18:21 GMT
I didn't mean you specifically Elaine re: name calling--I don't always get the quote thing right, sorry! If it's just hair, and it grows back... I don't think the bride is being unreasonable in her request. I get that in the grand scheme of things, it is not the end of the world. She might just be the bride that doesn't want to hear comments afterwards, or have her wedding known as the one with the arm pit hair, because people, regardless of it being okay or not will be talking about it. And again, it's a wedding bride and grooms day, they get to plan it, do what they want without having anyone forcing them to do something else--have I got that right grinningcat? Yes, if you want to be snarky about it. That said, if she was forced to have this SIL in her wedding party, they aren't doing it her way. I really don't understand how anyone can be forced to have people in their wedding party. If a family member is that overbearing that they dictate who is in another person's wedding, do they really deserve to be involved in the wedding? And why on earth would a bride or groom not have the balls to say "no I will choose who stands with me". Seriously, this part of the whole story alone blows my mind. But then again, I've learned that weddings and the WIC bring out the batshit crazy in people. I was 24 when I got married. I wanted my inlaws to like me. My now-MIL called me one day to tell me that my dh's cousin was so excited to be a flower girl and had bought her dress. We already had a flower girl (a different cousin who was much younger and DH was close to). Telling the family this other girl couldn't be my flower girl would have involved a lot of drama and upsetting these people I barely knew. So I went along with it. I am pretty neutral about it--as it turns out, the kind of people who feel comfortable telling you who will be in your wedding party are impossible to please anyway, but I don't really care in retrospect that I had an extra flower girl.
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on May 2, 2016 18:05:35 GMT
Having paid my way through school in that industry, there is a LOT of pressure for women to have a 'perfect day' and it starts long before they are even at an age when they can marry. And the 'awesome' brides that I encountered were rare enough that I remember each and every one of them.
ETA* and the gaslighting you're pulling on GC really isn't cool.
I have never said that there isn't pressure, I'm saying it's not like that everywhere. I'm saying a brides "perfect day" is not all brainwashy, full of drama, or angst that GC is getting all ragey about. A perfect day is not always about this industry she portrays. And "gaslighting"? Seriously? You need to look up the meaning because that just isn't happening. Geez. Calling into question the rationality of a person's argument by trying to make them question their mental state (crazy ragey) is classic gaslighting.
Then again, if you don't like that term, how about 'fucking bitchy'?
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 18:10:29 GMT
I have never said that there isn't pressure, I'm saying it's not like that everywhere. I'm saying a brides "perfect day" is not all brainwashy, full of drama, or angst that GC is getting all ragey about. A perfect day is not always about this industry she portrays. And "gaslighting"? Seriously? You need to look up the meaning because that just isn't happening. Geez. Calling into question the rationality of a person's argument by trying to make them question their mental state (crazy ragey) is classic gaslighting.
Then again, if you don't like that term, how about 'fucking bitchy'?
Consider yourself right up there then too. Overreact much? One bitch to another, eh?
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 18:13:49 GMT
You're a little crazy ragey over this wedding stuff grinningcat . A bride can plan a wedding however she likes, regardless if you like it or not. You are starting to make it sound as if these brides have no choice, when they do--you just don't agree with it. I agree that boob jobs and lipo are horrible prizes at a wedding show (we've been to a dozen in the last 3 years but I've never seen that given away!) The genre of brides we encountered in at least the last 6 years have been so awesome, not one has been drama. I have said repeatedly that my beef is not with brides... it's with the WIC that wants every wedding to suit them and their trends not what the actual bride and groom want. If it's cookie cutter WIC? Fantastic. If it's not, it makes it really hard to plan something. I know because I've been there. And have friends that have had the same issues. My issue is with how the industry treats potential brides and grooms... it's a big freakin' racket to get as much money out of a couple as possible. That's my beef. It has nothing to do with the actual bride and groom. I'm just getting over my dealings with the wedding industry... and I guess I'm still recovering. It sounds like you had a doozy of an experience!
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 2, 2016 18:17:07 GMT
I have never said that there isn't pressure, I'm saying it's not like that everywhere. I'm saying a brides "perfect day" is not all brainwashy, full of drama, or angst that GC is getting all ragey about. A perfect day is not always about this industry she portrays. And "gaslighting"? Seriously? You need to look up the meaning because that just isn't happening. Geez. You're right that a bride's perfect day isn't always what the industry wants it to be... but you have to admit that the industry and family members all put A LOT of pressure on the bride and groom to have that "perfect" day, that may or may not have anything to do with what the bride and groom actually want. That's my beef. That there are vendors and even family members or friends who dare to tell the couple what they should have rather than what they want because that's the only way to have a "perfect" wedding. There is no such thing as a perfect wedding, and it cannot be dictated by anyone other than the couple getting married. That's my beef with the WIC. Well, that and the outrageous costs that occur when the word "WEDDING" appears. It's out of control. I can agree with this post!
|
|
oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,996
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
|
Post by oh yvonne on May 2, 2016 18:22:08 GMT
Oh for Pete's sake. This is so lame ladies, seriously.
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on May 2, 2016 18:25:36 GMT
I really can't see why armpit hair would be an issue. I'll give the wedding couple a slight nod to appearance changes that are made between being asked to participate in a wedding and the wedding day that will be distracting during the ceremony. My cousin who decided to dye her hair neon green the week of her sisters wedding - not cool. I'm all for self expression, but if you've waited 24 years to dye your hair neon green,you can wait a couple more days so that your big reveal to the family isn't when you're walking down the aisle in your sister's wedding. But I've been to quite a few weddings and can't recall anytime the bridal party busted into YMCA during the ceremony. Even if the bridesmaid decided to become a hippy after being invited, I really can't see it being an issue during the ceremony.
Could it be noticeable at the reception - sure but I really can't imagine it being that distracting at that point. Sort of like how I wanted my uber casual brother to participate in the wedding ceremony, but expected him to be appropriately attired. The fact that he'd lost the tie, jacket, and I believe shoes during the reception was a non-issue.
|
|
|
Post by cath4k on May 2, 2016 18:39:47 GMT
I think armpit hair is gross so I just wouldn't ask that woman to be a bridesmaid. A full armpit growth is distracting so if she has to be a bridesmaid I would have picked a dress with sleeves for her, but then her legs probably aren't shaved too so I really want her as a bridesmaid because the look won't be uniform in pictures, all eyes will go to her legs. I wish more women took better care of their pits, when I go to the gym I see so many people who haven't shaved in a few days. I know of a wedding where the maids were required to get teeth whitening. The bride made the appointments!! While I personally wouldn't do this, I do have a friend when we take pics together her teeth look so yellow next to mine. So I will photoshop her teeth lightly without telling her. So I can only guess that bride was doing them a favor. If the bride paid for their appointments, who cares? Photographers charge extra for photoshopping and really the bride only wants to pay to have herself photoshopped, not her attendants. I don't think being asked to shave your pits for one day is a big deal, you can grow it back. It's not the same as being asked to change your hair color. Shaving your pits is a small temporary fix like getting your nails painted for the pictures as well. I don't offend easily and wouldn't necessarily be offended if a bride required me to get my teeth whitened, but I would choose to tell her I was no longer going to be in her wedding party if that was required (and would be a bit ticked if I had already paid for a dress, alterations, and shoes.) Why? Because my teeth are naturally more yellow than I would like - and probably more than what a bride like that would like, too. Two of my children are the same way - it is genetic and has nothing to do with oral care. I do get my teeth professionally whitened to prevent staining because I drink coffee and red wine, but my teeth will never be white. I would have to get veneers or caps or whatever. My teeth are very straight and healthy. I floss daily and get my regular cleanings. I do whiten them. A bride would not be "doing me a favor" if she set an appointment to whiten my teeth. I wouldn't care if she had me photoshopped, although I might mentally roll my eyes a bit.
|
|