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Post by melanell on May 3, 2016 14:18:18 GMT
Another side topic: since so many consider armpit hair to be an issue of hygiene, does that mean that all men except professional swimmers are unkempt dirty slobs? I just don't get how having armpit hair in one gender indicates that they are dirty and have poor hygiene and has no such meaning for the other gender. I shave my armpits, as I mentioned, and I will probably continue to, but I think that the double-standard is a somewhat ridiculous premise on to which base the argument that it is perfectly acceptable to ask a bridesmaid to shave. Agreed. And if we want to start a whole other 10 page thread, we could discuss how since it's perfectly acceptable for men to prance around topless, but is rarely acceptable for women to do so, then if anyone should be regularly shamed into shaving their under arm hair it should be the men.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 3, 2016 15:14:29 GMT
Funny thing: I totally, 100%, get why some women chose not to shave or otherwise conform to social norms about feminine beauty and have no problem with it. But I utterly and completely hate it when my boys wear tank tops. I don't care for the hairy boy pits at all. I spent about 10 minutes one very hot and sunny day in Florida trying to ban the stupid shirts to which I couldn't formulate a real argument and then gave up. The younger boy has about a gazillion Hurley tanks that I hate but he wears to taunt me.
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Post by lucyg on May 3, 2016 15:37:31 GMT
This. All of this. I was going to say the exact same thing. The WIC wants you to believe (and spend spend spend) that the advertisement worthy wedding is the only wedding worth having. Anything that "threatens" that advert perfect wedding must be destroyed. I swear I am going to write a book about planning a wedding while giving a thousand less fucks what society, the WIC and your families want. When DH and I got married, we received so many comments from others about how laid back we were that DH finally asked me "What are couples usually doing to these people??". I worked with brides & grooms nearly every day for several years, so I had plenty of experience in engaged couples, but DH was clueless. But back then, what I saw, wasn't trying to conform to what they felt was perfect, but having their own (often rigid) ideas of perfection and not willing to allow anything to be less than what they had in mind. And perfection isn't realistic. But I do agree, that the wedding industry and people in general do tend to put forth the idea that the wedding day should be perfect and that it's all about the bride, etc. And those things drive me batty. I just think that for some folks the focus is far too much on the wedding and not nearly enough on the marriage. It's one day out of what is supposed to be the rest of your life. I think that for some people, weddings have gotten completely out of hand. So you write the book and I'll give it to every engaged couple I know for the rest of my life. I've been saying this since before some of you were born. You DON'T want to get me started. Every time someone says it's the bride's day and everyone should cater to her wishes, my nerves twang. ETA personally, I think the bride should be worrying more about her friends and family, and less about herself. And really, the weddings I've attended lately, that's been the case. So far, the girls I know are just lovely.
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Post by melanell on May 3, 2016 15:44:10 GMT
I've been saying this since before some of you were born. You DON'T want to get me started. Every time someone says it's the bride's day and everyone should cater to her wishes, my nerves twang. ETA personally, I think the bride should be worrying more about her friends and family, and less about herself. And really, the weddings I've attended lately, that's been the case. So far, the girls I know are just lovely. I completely agree with every word of this.
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Post by karen on May 3, 2016 16:06:17 GMT
The bride to be shouldn't have had to ask the MOG who then had to ask DA, that is ridiculous. But I do think that it is okay for the bride to ask the hippie chicto shave the arm pit hair. Hippie Chic can say yes or no. But if the bride doesn't ask, or if hippie Chic finds out later that this was a problem, resentment will be a problem. Just because the bride's personal preference is the same as societal norms does not mean that the bride is wrong for wanting this. Maybe if the bride does ask, Hippie Chic will get a chance to explain why this issue matters to her. Who knows, maybe the bride will understand, maybe not. The bigger issue here is the lack of communication.
I also think that both the bride and hippie chic sound really young.
We are going to need closure with this whole issue. Surely there is a pea connection to this wedding!
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Post by genny on May 3, 2016 16:13:27 GMT
There was a girl on my kids' swim team last year who didn't shave her pits or her bikini line. It was VERY distracting at first, but we all got used to it the first week of practice then thought nothing of it - she was a great girl, a great swimmer and you just didn't see it anymore. She was kind of a hippie, was vegan etc.
I think Abby is right - it's not for ME, but to each their own!
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Deleted
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Apr 27, 2024 18:59:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 16:24:54 GMT
I've been saying this since before some of you were born. You DON'T want to get me started. Every time someone says it's the bride's day and everyone should cater to her wishes, my nerves twang. ETA personally, I think the bride should be worrying more about her friends and family, and less about herself. And really, the weddings I've attended lately, that's been the case. So far, the girls I know are just lovely. I completely agree with every word of this. I guess I see where you are coming from, but I never really met a true "Bridezilla" and I almost feel like this term has caused a backlash that isn't fair. I have NO skin in this game because I'm not getting married and I have no children who are either. But is it really so wrong to cater a bit to a bride? I remember back when we were all in each other's weddings, we DID want to help the bride to have her day the way she wanted it, and if she got a little over the top we would roll our eyes but comply as best we could; because we knew when our turn would come everyone would do the same for us. I guess I just don't really think it means something terrible about a person if they get a little carried away with their wedding. But then (still, eleven pages later) I also wouldn't blink about asking my bridesmaid if she minded shaving for the day if I chose a strapless bridesmaid gown. So apparently I am worse than a serial killer who kicks puppies for fun.
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Post by lucyg on May 3, 2016 16:37:52 GMT
I completely agree with every word of this. I guess I see where you are coming from, but I never really met a true "Bridezilla" and I almost feel like this term has caused a backlash that isn't fair. I have NO skin in this game because I'm not getting married and I have no children who are either. But is it really so wrong to cater a bit to a bride? I remember back when we were all in each other's weddings, we DID want to help the bride to have her day the way she wanted it, and if she got a little over the top we would roll our eyes but comply as best we could; because we knew when our turn would come everyone would do the same for us. I guess I just don't really think it means something terrible about a person if they get a little carried away with their wedding. But then (still, eleven pages later) I also wouldn't blink about asking my bridesmaid if she minded shaving for the day if I chose a strapless bridesmaid gown. So apparently I am worse than a serial killer who kicks puppies for fun. I don't actually have a problem with nicely asking the bridesmaid what she would think about shaving for the occasion. I just also don't think the wedding will be ruined, ruined! by a little visible armpit hair. AND I think if the bride feels the wedding will be ruined by armpit hair, then it's on her to choose a dress that covers the armpits, rather than feeling she.must.have.the.bridesmaid.dress.of.her.dreams and everyone else has to conform or her wedding day will self-destruct. And I have known brides (and a groom) like this. At least peripherally/witnessed/heard about, even if I wasn't directly a victim.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 16:40:12 GMT
I don't actually have a problem with nicely asking the bridesmaid what she would think about shaving for the occasion. I just also don't think the wedding will be ruined, ruined! by a little visible armpit hair. I can't see anything in the OP that suggested the bride thought the wedding would be ruined by the hairy armpits.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 16:44:20 GMT
But if you go back and read the original post, all it says is, "The bride-to-be asked me how to approach her to request that she remove her armpit hair on the day of the wedding" The way people have carried on during this thread you would think the bride said to her future MIL, "I think your daughter is a disgusting, smelly skank. I am horrified and offended that she doesn't shave under her arms. I invalidate all her life choices."
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Post by lucyg on May 3, 2016 16:44:22 GMT
I don't actually have a problem with nicely asking the bridesmaid what she would think about shaving for the occasion. I just also don't think the wedding will be ruined, ruined! by a little visible armpit hair. I can't see anything in the OP that suggested the bride thought the wedding would be ruined by the hairy armpits. There were peas who sounded as if that might be the case.
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Post by lucyg on May 3, 2016 16:47:32 GMT
But if you go back and read the original post, all it says is, "The bride-to-be asked me how to approach her to request that she remove her armpit hair on the day of the wedding" The way people have carried on during this thread you would think the bride said to her future MIL, "I think your daughter is a disgusting, smelly skank. I am horrified and offended that she doesn't shave under her arms. I invalidate all her life choices." Again, that's what some of the peas sounded like. And yes, there were also peas who were ALL OVER that bride and the mother, no question. It's a 10-pager and it's gone far beyond the OP.
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