RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,376
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jun 27, 2016 20:31:41 GMT
I stay out of that stuff and I almost always stay out of threads that we know will raise controversy (i.e. today's abortion one). I find that I am not always able to express myself well in writing and someone who is a better debater than I will easily be able to rip me to shreds, when it may well be that our opinions are not even that far apart. I save most controversial discussions for real life. (You know, like telling my kids that helping out around the house is a necessary fact of life...a very controversial topic in this house! )
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on Jun 27, 2016 20:33:31 GMT
I will sometimes write a response and then think to myself that I am stupid, stupid, stupid for engaging in the conversation. Then I log off and walk away.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jun 27, 2016 20:34:08 GMT
To me the people who engage are as guilty as the shit stirrers are of trollish behavior. I just always figure posters who start those threads don't have much of a life and few people who will interact with them in real life, for obvious reasons.
If arguing makes them happy good for them. It doesn't affect me one way or another. I really don't get either the poster or the responders but then I don't spend much time thinking about it. I usually don't read much of those threads once I realize what they are.
I also don't get people who block other posters. Who cares what some nut job posts, just scroll on by.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 27, 2016 20:34:08 GMT
I will say, I have fallen into the trap more than once--
Because I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt and because I myself think about every possible angle of a situation, I often believe that the poster doesn't fully understand what they've posted, they may not really mean it the way it comes across, or they may not have thought about it from all angles. So, I respond, thinking the OP has the best intentions. Or sometimes I can't help myself. I really need to stop doing that.
(but I have seen some 'interesting' jello salads as a result of it, lol)
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 27, 2016 20:34:13 GMT
I don't think the OP is calling anyone out, or telling us what to do at all? I think she is asking a legitimate question...WHY? like do people find it fun? enlightening? a challenge? something to do in their life? nothing better to do? she is just wondering I think?
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Post by elaine on Jun 27, 2016 20:37:00 GMT
I don't think the OP is calling anyone out, or telling us what to do at all? I think she is asking a legitimate question...WHY? like do people find it fun? enlightening? a challenge? something to do in their life? nothing better to do? she is just wondering I think? That is how I read it too. More of an invitation to focus on our own behavior, not discuss other people.
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Post by jennyap on Jun 27, 2016 20:42:43 GMT
Some people just like the
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Post by peano on Jun 27, 2016 20:45:51 GMT
At some point recently I reached this point with Rainbow, because the more she posts her videos and comments on them, the more her actions and words resemble those of the Sandy Hook hoaxers.
Ever since the murders, Newtown, the murdered children's families, survivors and others have been plagued by people I would characterize as rather paranoid personality types with some delusional features. They say that Sandy Hook was perpetrated by a vague "them" or a mysterious "they" (sound familiar?) and that the families are really actors--and have demanded the families give them "proof" of their childrens' deaths, they have descended on the town and crashed school board meetings, have posted videos on Facebook that include their deluded ramblings as they wander around town trying to gain access to the school site.
While I don't think these types of people are clinically psychotic like schizophrenics, I do believe their paranoia and delusions are intractable, and that they potentially could be dangerous if exacerbated by increased life stressors--just the types of people who should not have access to guns.
So because I don't want to contribute to what might become someone's potential last straw, and because it is futile to debate someone with this type of personality disorder, I will no longer engage.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 20:51:19 GMT
I know we should all really take the high moral ground and just ignore certain threads but some days it's fun to poke the little puppies a bit.
Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
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Post by Zee on Jun 27, 2016 20:53:41 GMT
And another thing I hate are these passive-aggressive "call out"threads. You want to tell everyone to ignore rainbow or Lauren, go right ahead, that's your right...but you don't get to dictate who responds to whom around here, so you should maybe taking your own advice and ignore. I say that not unkindly, btw. My scrolling finger works really well when I want it to. Mostly I find rainbow to be a very boring, and very bored, individual who thrives on any attention at all whether it's positive or negative. She's found that the latter is easier to get, so that's what she does. If I had wanted to tell people what to do I would have, lol. I wondered why people go back to argue constantly with the same posters with the same circular logic. It was a question and just like you can use your scrolling finger to go past those posts, you can also do it to mine. Recently my capacity for extending grace to others in what I see are bullshit situations has greatly diminished to the point that I often want to tell folks to f-off. So far I haven't, but have been pretty close.😉 My question was something that I regularly wondered about, so I asked. Listen, I made it a point to say it wasn't meant unkindly. But these posts obviously aimed at a pea in particular while refusing to just come out and say it are so passive-aggressive. I hate it. So, if you feel like you need to tell me to go fuck off, grab your ovaries and do it. No shit my ignore button works, but unless you're trolling, I'll choose when to use it just like everyone else here. And if I have a problem with you I promise not to start some vague thread about it just checking to see if anyone else agrees.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 27, 2016 20:55:37 GMT
Yes! I wonder the same thing. I also wonder about the "passes" some of the really nasty peas tend to get and why the heck that recent troll thread got so much traction. I must have missed that thread..
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Post by melanell on Jun 27, 2016 20:57:18 GMT
I do agree that there are a few Peas that will post flat out flameworthy stuff to just burn it up. But how people perceive posts is completely objective to the individual. What you deem "unworthy" might not be to others. Kind of an objective thing, don't you think? I think that's the kind this OP is talking about, though. The fire-starters. Or the threads when the OP says "The sky is lime-green." and 97 peas reply that the sky is not lime-green, and the OP replies 97 times by saying "The sky is the exact shade of a lime." or "The sky is lime-green if viewed through lime tinted glasses." or "Oh yes, the sky is most certainly green and you are all morons for not realizing it." and despite those 97 replies, 54 more people will come reply that the sky is blue as well. Save
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 20:58:33 GMT
How is calling people out by name, analyzing their personalities etc make things any better. It's like a form of online bullying making threads like this where people can gather as a group and gang up on certain posters. The OP didn't go that far but by half way through names were slung around. You know, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Passive aggressive call-outs aren't any better than going ahead and saying who you're talking about. There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. How does the hinting around make it any better? If you have something to say to someone, then have the balls to say it outright. The 'bullying' term also gets thrown around way too casually these days. Lots of people disliking someone's behavior is not bullying.
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Post by Zee on Jun 27, 2016 21:00:26 GMT
How is calling people out by name, analyzing their personalities etc make things any better. It's like a form of online bullying making threads like this where people can gather as a group and gang up on certain posters. The OP didn't go that far but by half way through names were slung around. You know, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Passive aggressive call-outs (which I don't think was what the OP was doing with this thread) aren't any better than going ahead and saying who you're talking about. There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. How does the hinting around make it any better? If you have something to say to someone, then have the balls to say it outright. The 'bullying' term also gets thrown around way too casually these days. Lots of people disliking someone's behavior is not bullying. Yep yep yep Which is why I went ahead and said it for them. We all know who you're talking about. It's annoying.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 27, 2016 21:00:45 GMT
There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. Are we talking about Donald Trump? Again? (Is Trump really a pea?)
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Post by melanell on Jun 27, 2016 21:02:52 GMT
I don't think the OP is calling anyone out, or telling us what to do at all? I think she is asking a legitimate question...WHY? like do people find it fun? enlightening? a challenge? something to do in their life? nothing better to do? she is just wondering I think? I agree. And this type of question and response happen here quite regularly . People can question something without it being a hand-slap or a demand for different behavior. Sometimes people really want to understand or they're just the curious type. They're not trying to make people feel as though they need to defend themselves, they just hope you'll explain your viewpoint to them. Save
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 21:03:25 GMT
You know, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Passive aggressive call-outs (which I don't think was what the OP was doing with this thread) aren't any better than going ahead and saying who you're talking about. There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. How does the hinting around make it any better? If you have something to say to someone, then have the balls to say it outright. The 'bullying' term also gets thrown around way too casually these days. Lots of people disliking someone's behavior is not bullying. Yep yep yep Which is why I went ahead and said it for them. We all know who you're talking about. It's annoying. I don't disagree with you at all, but I honestly didn't think this thread was about obvious trolls like Rainbow. I thought it was more about the ones who don't like each other but love to go round and round and round and derail every thread that they both/all show up on because they just can't stop themselves from engaging.
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Post by Zee on Jun 27, 2016 21:04:17 GMT
How is calling people out by name, analyzing their personalities etc make things any better. It's like a form of online bullying making threads like this where people can gather as a group and gang up on certain posters. The OP didn't go that far but by half way through names were slung around. Oh yeah, it's much better to make threads and comments without just saying it You think yubon or rainbow gives two shits whether someone is talking about them? They don't. They enjoy it. And yubon at least would own it. Geesh...
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 27, 2016 21:06:23 GMT
I really think the OP question applies more in a general sense-- yes, in this instance it may have been triggered by a particular poster. Yet the question is a general one. And that's what I answered. (And really, the same question could also be asked / answered about any number of TOPICS that come up over and over again, rather than about a particular POSTER.)
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 21:06:54 GMT
There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. Are we talking about Donald Trump? Again? (Is Trump really a pea?) If he were a pea, he'd be the best pea ever. His shit-stirring would be magnificent: the best you've ever seen. And Mexico would have to pay for it. And if someone disagreed with him and said so, we should all just feel free to deck 'em, and he'd pay our legal fees. Only he could solve the problems with our pea dynamic.
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Post by melanell on Jun 27, 2016 21:07:47 GMT
How is calling people out by name, analyzing their personalities etc make things any better. It's like a form of online bullying making threads like this where people can gather as a group and gang up on certain posters. The OP didn't go that far but by half way through names were slung around. You know, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Passive aggressive call-outs aren't any better than going ahead and saying who you're talking about. There are a few peas who have made a pea career out of passive aggressive call outs and shit stirring without naming names just so that they can deny naming names. How does the hinting around make it any better? If you have something to say to someone, then have the balls to say it outright. The 'bullying' term also gets thrown around way too casually these days. Lots of people disliking someone's behavior is not bullying. I agree with you about the bullying part, but not the rest. I can't be the only pea who doesn't always recall who said what when. Sometimes I notice a trend or certain behavior here, and I can only talk about it in a vague manner because I don't recall the specifics. Like I just mentioned that I've seen other threads when someone asks for an explanation , but people view it as an insult or hand-slap. I know I have seen this here rather recently, but I couldn't even tell you what the question was, never mind who posted it. So if I wanted to start a thread about it, it would be a very vague thread. Save
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 27, 2016 21:08:19 GMT
I have gotten to the point where I don't even read certain posts anymore. I don't even care that I'm missing out on the drama. I would much rather spend my time and energy on the peas that aren't here just to stir things up. My pet peeve is when a thread that is pretty benign turns into a shit show because someone had to bring their drama there.
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Post by melanell on Jun 27, 2016 21:09:18 GMT
Yep yep yep Which is why I went ahead and said it for them. We all know who you're talking about. It's annoying. I don't disagree with you at all, but I honestly didn't think this thread was about obvious trolls like Rainbow. I thought it was more about the ones who don't like each other but love to go round and round and round and derail every thread that they both/all show up on because they just can't stop themselves from engaging. That's the type that drive me crazy. I can ignore a thread started by someone I believe will mess up their own thread, but if I'm in the midst of a decent conversational thread with a dozen other Peas and 2 people who dislike one another show up and turn it into a pissing match, it really drives me crazy. Save
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 27, 2016 21:13:21 GMT
It's a good question, and I am one who sometimes joins in. I don't know how to answer that except to say I have pretty strong opinions about, oh, let's just say...politics. When I see some post that I think is bullshit, I tend to have a strong reaction. I am trying very hard not to respond to some posters, though, because I a KNOW that it's pointless. But sometimes I can't help myself. And there are other posters whom I respect and enjoy the discussion. I hope that makes sense.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 21:17:52 GMT
That's another reason why I dislike the passive-aggressive call-outs. Because you might get many different opinions on who is being talked about. If you have a problem with X and what she's saying on various threads, then tell X on those various threads. Own it. It's not bullying to tell someone that they're acting like an ass. They can put on their big-girl panties and deal with it. It's also ok to take a step back and admit when you're behaving in an irrational or unacceptable way. We're all guilty of it at times.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 27, 2016 21:22:09 GMT
That's another reason why I dislike the passive-aggressive call-outs. Because you might get many different opinions on who is being talked about. If you have a problem with X and what she's saying on various threads, then tell X on those various threads. Own it. It's not bullying to tell someone that they're acting like an ass. They can put on their big-girl panties and deal with it. It's also ok to take a step back and admit when you're behaving in an irrational or unacceptable way. We're all guilty of it at times. I believe this has been done MANY times on threads here. It has no affect. I think this is just our way of venting about it. Like you said, these people obviously don't care what we think about them. So I really doubt they think we are bullying them, or even care. I've seen it many times on here where Peas are asked, why they say those things, why so mean, why post the same things, etc. It makes no difference.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 27, 2016 21:22:58 GMT
That's another reason why I dislike the passive-aggressive call-outs. Because you might get many different opinions on who is being talked about. If you have a problem with X and what she's saying on various threads, then tell X on those various threads. Own it. It's not bullying to tell someone that they're acting like an ass. They can put on their big-girl panties and deal with it. It's also ok to take a step back and admit when you're behaving in an irrational or unacceptable way. We're all guilty of it at times. Oh, yeah, I've gotten sucked into more than one absurd argument. Sometimes a post just hits you the wrong way. In my case, certain posters rub me the wrong way-and I'm sure that they feel the same way about me. So sometimes it can be a personality conflict, I guess.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 27, 2016 21:23:24 GMT
TBH I think a lot of time people are bored - they are just as interested in the merry-go-round as the original poster. It really doesn't bother me if someone wants to bang their head against a wall - or if two people want to bang their head against each other which I'm seeing a fair amount of lately. The only time I'm annoyed is when I'm engaging in a discussion and someone throws out the whole - well why don't you call out Billy Bob. Like if I don't engage in a pointless discussion with some of the more incoherent posters, I can't point out when anyone is being incoherent. There area ton of posters I ignore on both sides of the political spectrum.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 14:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 21:38:06 GMT
TBH I think a lot of time people are bored - they are just as interested in the merry-go-round as the original poster. It really doesn't bother me if someone wants to bang their head against a wall - or if two people want to bang their head against each other which I'm seeing a fair amount of lately. The only time I'm annoyed is when I'm engaging in a discussion and someone throws out the whole - well why don't you call out Billy Bob. Like if I don't engage in a pointless discussion with some of the more incoherent posters, I can't point out when anyone is being incoherent. There area ton of posters I ignore on both sides of the political spectrum. I agree. The thing that gets me about the ones who love to argue and constantly engage with each other is that they frequently derail some good conversations. I've seen so many people engaged in rational discussions, and then the I-will-argue-with-you-no-matter-what-you-post posse shows up, and others are put off and stop discussing-they usually just stop posting on the thread all together. I don't care if that crew wants to argue constantly like that, but I do have to wonder why they don't just take the brick-wall head banging to their own thread. I guess it's just as much about the drama and disruption as it is with their personal BS, but it gets frustrating when they constantly shut real conversations down with their immaturity and apparent inability to control themselves.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jun 27, 2016 21:40:52 GMT
I agree with you about the bullying part, but not the rest. I can't be the only pea who doesn't always recall who said what when. Sometimes I notice a trend or certain behavior here, and I can only talk about it in a vague manner because I don't recall the specifics. That's me and I do hate it when I (or someone else) answers someone, or quote someone and then other posters come afterwards and accuse us of "feeding the trolls" etc. Why can't they just roll their eyes and think "they're in for it" or send a PM with a couple of links directing new/or forgetful peas to other threads. No one likes to be put in their place and sometime's the "stop feeding the trolls" thing is a form of that too. I like the whole aura of the board. The "trolls" are part of that. I don't think anyone with a posting history of a thousand posts is trolling though. I think of a troll as someone who blows through a message board to create havoc and then leaves just as quickly. Long term posters with unique personalities are not trolls. SaveSave
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