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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 27, 2016 21:43:33 GMT
I fall into this. I have no reasons anymore. Bring on spaghetti-O's!
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Post by secondlife on Jun 27, 2016 21:51:02 GMT
Am I the only one who feels like this thread would make more sense if I were drunk?
I am so confused. Spaghettio's pizza and beer please.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Jun 27, 2016 21:57:59 GMT
I saw a new troll start a thread the other day and it stayed on page one for a whole day going 2 pages, I didn't get it! Why would you respond to that? Let it die and disappear. Was Jello involved? You know how Peas and Jello go together. Yes. Lots and lots of jello. Yuck! Save |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jun 27, 2016 21:59:19 GMT
TBH I think a lot of time people are bored - they are just as interested in the merry-go-round as the original poster. It really doesn't bother me if someone wants to bang their head against a wall - or if two people want to bang their head against each other which I'm seeing a fair amount of lately. The only time I'm annoyed is when I'm engaging in a discussion and someone throws out the whole - well why don't you call out Billy Bob. Like if I don't engage in a pointless discussion with some of the more incoherent posters, I can't point out when anyone is being incoherent. There area ton of posters I ignore on both sides of the political spectrum. I agree. The thing that gets me about the ones who love to argue and constantly engage with each other is that they frequently derail some good conversations. I've seen so many people engaged in rational discussions, and then the I-will-argue-with-you-no-matter-what-you-post posse shows up, and others are put off and stop discussing-they usually just stop posting on the thread all together. I don't care if that crew wants to argue constantly like that, but I do have to wonder why they don't just take the brick-wall head banging to their own thread. I guess it's just as much about the drama and disruption as it is with their personal BS, but it gets frustrating when they constantly shut real conversations down with their immaturity and apparent inability to control themselves. This is what bothers me too, I hate that they come in and shut down the good discussion and yes, most of the other people just leave  |
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Post by refugeepea on Jun 27, 2016 22:19:39 GMT
If I had wanted to tell people what to do I would have, lol. I wondered why people go back to argue constantly with the same posters with the same circular logic. It was a question and just like you can use your scrolling finger to go past those posts, you can also do it to mine. I didn't read your thread as calling out specific people. I could think of quite a few people on the right and left that don't discuss. They are convinced they are right and easily derail a thread. I also thought of more than one person that makes nasty comments on almost every topic. Your OP was too vague for me to go oh.....she's totally talking about_______!  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 23:38:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 22:22:29 GMT
I agree with you about the bullying part, but not the rest. I can't be the only pea who doesn't always recall who said what when. Sometimes I notice a trend or certain behavior here, and I can only talk about it in a vague manner because I don't recall the specifics. That's me and I do hate it when I (or someone else) answers someone, or quote someone and then other posters come afterwards and accuse us of "feeding the trolls" etc. Why can't they just roll their eyes and think "they're in for it" or send a PM with a couple of links directing new/or forgetful peas to other threads. No one likes to be put in their place and sometime's the "stop feeding the trolls" thing is a form of that too. I like the whole aura of the board. The "trolls" are part of that. I don't think anyone with a posting history of a thousand posts is trolling though. I think of a troll as someone who blows through a message board to create havoc and then leaves just as quickly. Long term posters with unique personalities are not trolls. SaveSaveThere is absolutely such a thing as a long-term resident troll. There are different types of trolls/trolling behavior. There's lots of information on it out there. I completely disagree that saying don't feed the troll is a form of "putting someone in their place." You seem to see any type of vocalization of disagreement as a negative thing, yet you do it often yourself. Damned if you do and damned if you don't, so I guess we'll all just have to have to put up with each other and keep speaking out as we see fit-within the bounds of what our admin wants to put up with.  |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,367
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jun 27, 2016 22:30:46 GMT
I engage because I want to. Various reasons apply, boredom, the need to attempt to share knowledge, the need for calling out blatant racism, sexism, classism, my enjoyment of poking the puppy. Different thread, different reason. I'm an adult, or so I've been told, and I'm perfectly capable of ignoring those I don't wish to engage with but that doesn't mean I'm always going to. I also believe that when some says or posts some offensive, remaining silent is akin to agreement.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jun 27, 2016 22:35:25 GMT
That's me and I do hate it when I (or someone else) answers someone, or quote someone and then other posters come afterwards and accuse us of "feeding the trolls" etc. Why can't they just roll their eyes and think "they're in for it" or send a PM with a couple of links directing new/or forgetful peas to other threads. No one likes to be put in their place and sometime's the "stop feeding the trolls" thing is a form of that too. I like the whole aura of the board. The "trolls" are part of that. I don't think anyone with a posting history of a thousand posts is trolling though. I think of a troll as someone who blows through a message board to create havoc and then leaves just as quickly. Long term posters with unique personalities are not trolls. SaveSaveThere is absolutely such a thing as a long-term resident troll. There are different types of trolls/trolling behavior. There's lots of information on it out there. I completely disagree that saying don't feed the troll is a form of "putting someone in their place." You seem to see any type of vocalization of disagreement as a negative thing, yet you do it often yourself.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't, so I guess we'll all just have to have to put up with each other and keep speaking out as we see fit-within the bounds of what our admin wants to put up with. No, my issues is when certain posters are immediately disregarded, publicly labeled as one not to take serious, as a troll etc. That's hugely differently then having a dissenting opinion with someone. Posting a disagreement on a topic is hugely different then posting about a pea's character. Even then it's OK to have that personal opinion about someone, but so what if others want to engage with them. Why do they need to be told "that poster is a troll" in public. Why does it bother others if folks engage the more "extreme" members of the board? There are posts on this board that are simply entertaining and maybe for the wrong reasons. I personally would find this place boring if these folks were not around. Who wants a Pollyanna stepford wife environment? Save |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 27, 2016 22:36:01 GMT
"I also believe that when some says or posts some offensive, remaining silent is akin to agreement."
^^^ this is a tough one for me, too... I sometimes will content myself with 'liking' an opposing post, but since there isn't a DIS-like button, sometimes I feel the need to post.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 23:38:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 22:41:09 GMT
I've never seen anyone say that they want a Pollyanna, Stepford Wife environment.
Sometimes someone's character is a very important thing to be aware of. If that makes you handslappy, so be it.
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Post by Merge on Jun 27, 2016 22:41:21 GMT
I engage because I want to. Various reasons apply, boredom, the need to attempt to share knowledge, the need for calling out blatant racism, sexism, classism, my enjoyment of poking the puppy. Different thread, different reason. I'm an adult, or so I've been told, and I'm perfectly capable of ignoring those I don't wish to engage with but that doesn't mean I'm always going to. I also believe that when some says or posts some offensive, remaining silent is akin to agreement. Thank you, exactly. I've been thinking about this thread a bit this afternoon and this is what it comes down to for me as well. It's summer and I have more free time than usual, and I post when I want to, and don't post when I don't want to. Sometimes I post and wish I hadn't! I also have a hard time suffering racism, etc. in silence. Also, thinking through others' positions and formulating my own replies helps me clarify my beliefs - and sometimes even change them. I have been educated here about different types of guns in such a way that I am able to express my position more clearly. Heck, I was fairly conservative when I first came to this board over ten years ago. The more liberal peas weren't the only thing that started to change my thinking, but as someone who had grown up hearing "liberal" used as a bad word, reading the well-reasoned and articulate words of the more left-leaning ladies here was quite eye-opening. Regardless, I assume we're all grownups here and anyone who doesn't want to read political arguments can scroll on by. |
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 27, 2016 22:46:19 GMT
OMG! You read my mind!! Half the time I am like. ah..WHY would anyone respond to that? why?? Here, let me just get a brick wall for you to beat your head against, so you can move on. The other WTF? moments on here are there are a few mean, nasty posters, and they post mean and nasty responses all the time. Yet when they come on here and ask a question, people are ALL over giving them help. It's a WTH? moment? It's like giving a naughty kid a treat or rewarding their bad behavior. I say just ignore them. This always gets me too. I'd like to think I am a good person, but I am clearly not that good. |
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 27, 2016 22:48:31 GMT
I know we should all really take the high moral ground and just ignore certain threads but some days it's fun to poke the little puppies a bit.
Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.What you talkin' 'bout Willis? |
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jun 27, 2016 22:49:21 GMT
but as someone who had grown up hearing "liberal" used as a bad word, reading the well-reasoned and articulate words of the more left-leaning ladies here was quite eye-opening. That is why one of my mantras has always been "one person's conservative is another person's liberal". I have always considered myself very conservative but I came from Canada. When I do those online questionnaires that mark where you are on the political spectrum here in the US I end up almost always right dab in the middle. Save |
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Post by elaine on Jun 27, 2016 22:50:53 GMT
I also want to say that there is sometimes a positive outcome after a while.
There was a person here and at the old board, who had a history of posting negative comments about special ed students from a teacher/aide perspective. Given that I have two boys with autism, her comments were on my radar and always registered with me. When we moved to the new board and I confronted her, at the beginning I had a number of peas jump on me for it, calling me rude, etc.
After a while, and more of her posts, more people (usually mom's of special needs kids) voiced their issues with her posts. I was not the lone voice in the wilderness.
Finally, after the balance tipped, and enough people were sickened by the posts and voiced their dissenting opinions, the poster finally stopped posting those posts. Granted, she said she was leaving forever and demolished that identity. She may be back as someone else, but I don't have to read those posts any more. And I'm okay with that.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 27, 2016 22:53:43 GMT
And another thing I hate are these passive-aggressive "call out"threads. You want to tell everyone to ignore rainbow or Lauren, go right ahead, that's your right...but you don't get to dictate who responds to whom around here, so you should maybe taking your own advice and ignore. I say that not unkindly, btw. My scrolling finger works really well when I want it to. Mostly I find rainbow to be a very boring, and very bored, individual who thrives on any attention at all whether it's positive or negative. She's found that the latter is easier to get, so that's what she does. If I had wanted to tell people what to do I would have, lol. I wondered why people go back to argue constantly with the same posters with the same circular logic. It was a question and just like you can use your scrolling finger to go past those posts, you can also do it to mine. Recently my capacity for extending grace to others in what I see are bullshit situations has greatly diminished to the point that I often want to tell folks to f-off. So far I haven't, but have been pretty close.😉 My question was something that I regularly wondered about, so I asked. I guess my answer would be because I wanted to answer or state my opinion. I ignore when I want to and I don't always respond but if I feel moved to respond I will. I like that feeling of control.  I also really enjoy reading a lot of the responses, we are a very diverse and interesting crowd with a lot of experiences. I've seen some of the most poignant posts (and some of the most frustrating ones) on threads for controversial topics. I have found links to things I really enjoyed reading. I have heard responses from people with very different experiences than me. I have learned things, I have rolled my eyes, I have said nasty things out loud, but it is all part of the experience of a community. It works the same way for me real life. Who the op is makes no difference to me. I guess I really don't get the whole they are a troll so don't answer, especially with long term members. If I can't control my reactions to these type of posts than I should and will just scroll on by. |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jun 27, 2016 23:01:24 GMT
Are we talking about Donald Trump? Again? (Is Trump really a pea?)  If he were a pea, he'd be the best pea ever. His shit-stirring would be magnificent: the best you've ever seen. And Mexico would have to pay for it. And if someone disagreed with him and said so, we should all just feel free to deck 'em, and he'd pay our legal fees. Only he could solve the problems with our pea dynamic. For the win!  |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jun 27, 2016 23:13:54 GMT
I'll admit that I sometimes can't help pointing out when things devolve into playground mode. I try to quash it, but sometimes the peacemaker in me comes out & I probably make a fool of myself.  |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 27, 2016 23:15:14 GMT
There are people here who just love a good argument (both sides of the aisle) and certain posters and/or topics seems to bring them out like moths to a flame. It's never going to change so the only thing to do is either block them all, or just learn to scroll on by and try your best to ignore it all. There was a recent thread that I would have loved to get involved in because I thought it would be a different look at the topic. Unfortunately because of who started the thread they were off to the races from the get go. It's a shame that there can't be civilized, thoughtful discussions on certain topics. So I just get my information elsewhere and try to stick to the general non-inflammatory threads.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 27, 2016 23:20:11 GMT
I'm starting to think she means me!!!!
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876 
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Jun 27, 2016 23:22:08 GMT
I actually respond a lot less than I used to. I post when I want to and scroll by other posts a lot. Lets face it, I have yet to meet a vocal pea who would ever admit that "herself" could possibly be wrong. (liberal or conservative; atheist or religious person etc).
I have been bothered that there is a definite gang mentality here (although not as bad as on the former 2 Peas) and often the sharks can smell blood in the water. Sometimes I find myself defending a point of view merely to deflect some of the animosity from a person I feel is getting beaten up for expressing an opinion the others don't like. And those who are doing the ganging up will justify it to the end.
In the end, I've come to realize that no one is truly changing anyone else's opinion. Well, at least not the opinions of the more vocal and combative people here. So, sometimes I respond; more often these days, I don't.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 23:38:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 0:28:13 GMT
How is calling people out by name, analyzing their personalities etc make things any better. It's like a form of online bullying making threads like this where people can gather as a group and gang up on certain posters. The OP didn't go that far but by half way through names were slung around. The 'bullying' term also gets thrown around way too casually these days. Lots of people disliking someone's behavior is not bullying. I agree with you. I think it becomes bullying when lots of people completely discard the idea of educating that person, or challenging that persons beliefs, opinions and facts, in favor of making personal attacks. Then it IS bullying. And it happens a lot here. |
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Jun 28, 2016 0:35:02 GMT
It's also "bullying" to intentionally derail a thread or trivialize someone's opinion by posting pictures of totally unrelated things...like food. At that point, if you're not interested or dislike the tenor of the thread, you leave. But to intentionally try to disrupt the thread is "bullying".
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Post by shescrafty on Jun 28, 2016 0:54:08 GMT
Sometimes a question is just a question (say that in your best Freud voice!) I honestly was just wondering and was not trying to "out" anybody in particular. If I had I wanted to I just would have said it.  . And many of the points about certain posters having what seem to be "personal" arguments within a thread were also on my mind-so definitely not just one or two people I was thinking of. Perhaps I didn't phrase it correctly (although many of you did seem to get my intent) so if my original OP made anyone uncomfortable I apologize. It was not my intention. Thank you to those that did respond to my question-there were many good ponts made for me to think about! |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 23:38:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 1:10:31 GMT
It's also "bullying" to intentionally derail a thread or trivialize someone's opinion by posting pictures of totally unrelated things...like food. At that point, if you're not interested or dislike the tenor of the thread, you leave. But to intentionally try to disrupt the thread is "bullying". It's not bullying any more than intentionally trolling or shit stirring. So feel free to ignore it if you don't approve. |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2016 1:11:33 GMT
Sometimes a question is just a question (say that in your best Freud voice!) I honestly was just wondering and was not trying to "out" anybody in particular. If I had I wanted to I just would have said it. . And many of the points about certain posters having what seem to be "personal" arguments within a thread were also on my mind-so definitely not just one or two people I was thinking of. Perhaps I didn't phrase it correctly (although many of you did seem to get my intent) so if my original OP made anyone uncomfortable I apologize. It was not my intention. Thank you to those that did respond to my question-there were many good ponts made for me to think about! I'm sorry if you truly weren't intending this as a handslap thread. I think many bad feelings come about from posters who want to "say something" about someone, but who lack the guts to just address an issue and then quash it, or not. It annoys me. Women are the worst in this respect. However, they're also some really good people, and I think you're one of them. So, I will eat some crow or whatever it is humbler people do on occasion.   |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2016 1:12:32 GMT
It's also "bullying" to intentionally derail a thread or trivialize someone's opinion by posting pictures of totally unrelated things...like food. At that point, if you're not interested or dislike the tenor of the thread, you leave. But to intentionally try to disrupt the thread is "bullying". Hahaha oh the irony! |
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Post by MichyM on Jun 28, 2016 1:15:38 GMT
There are some posters that regularly post what I feel are articles or opinions just to bait others into arguments, and it works! I often read the chaos that follows and wonder why people engage knowing that their opinions will fall on deaf ears and likely just make the person who starts the post to feel good about what they have done. The constant posts that seem to be purposefully obtuse or intentionally missing the point. I often wonder why people just don't put people they *always* argue with on ignore. I don't mean disagree with, I mean just flat out those who can't ever make coherent posts and really argue just for the sake of arguments. So if you can't help yourself-why do you argue with someone or respond to people that you know will make you nuts? Lol 😜 I haven't read the thread yet, but in a nutshell it's because some people haven't learned restraint. |
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Jun 28, 2016 1:21:19 GMT
But can't that be said for all of it? "Feel free to ignore if you don't like or disapprove"?
And yes, it is bullying, whether or not you choose to acknowledge it as such.
But, I know feel that the personal attacks are going to start (as seen by Z*g) and since this thread specifically speaks to why engage, I'm bowing out.
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2016 1:26:16 GMT
Oh good God, I didn't personally attack you. You love to play the victim AFTER you've continually stirred the pot. That's nothing new. Laughing at the irony of your posts isn't a "personal" attack.
Go color, I love when you post your work. (Honestly. They're works of art when you're done.)
You're still evil, but I've grown to almost enjoy that about you!
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My original pea date was November 1999 and my number was 1803
. And many of the points about certain posters having what seem to be "personal" arguments within a thread were also on my mind-so definitely not just one or two people I was thinking of. Perhaps I didn't phrase it correctly (although many of you did seem to get my intent) so if my original OP made anyone uncomfortable I apologize. It was not my intention. 
