courtney
Shy Member
Posts: 36
Jul 7, 2017 8:08:48 GMT
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Post by courtney on Jul 8, 2017 8:24:37 GMT
"Shame on you", really?! courtney ? I don't see how you can say you love rather than hate if you go around handslapping like that. OP, I get it , we have on street parking here and people are often annoyed by caravans, large vans etc. The problem is that if it is on their land I really don't see how you can ask them to move it. Where else could they park it? Saying you want them to move it because it's ugly is just never going to go well. Is it going to be visible all through the event or just as people walk in? I'm assuming you haven't invited them to the wedding. Have you told them it's happening? In my mind that's a courteous thing to do, and then it's your opportunity to find out if they are even going to be around that weekend. If they are off RV-ing, you're sorted. If they aren't, you're u can start thinking of ways to mitigate the eyesore from your side...I like the idea of putting up a trellis or a screen that could be decorated, or even making a walkway with fabric drapes. It depends on the space. Good luck! I believe benefit of the doubtful. especially in these cases when there is no animosity . If someone is shaming... that is not good news
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Jul 8, 2017 8:56:05 GMT
"Shame on you", really?! courtney ? I don't see how you can say you love rather than hate if you go around handslapping like that. OP, I get it , we have on street parking here and people are often annoyed by caravans, large vans etc. The problem is that if it is on their land I really don't see how you can ask them to move it. Where else could they park it? Saying you want them to move it because it's ugly is just never going to go well. Is it going to be visible all through the event or just as people walk in? I'm assuming you haven't invited them to the wedding. Have you told them it's happening? In my mind that's a courteous thing to do, and then it's your opportunity to find out if they are even going to be around that weekend. If they are off RV-ing, you're sorted. If they aren't, you're u can start thinking of ways to mitigate the eyesore from your side...I like the idea of putting up a trellis or a screen that could be decorated, or even making a walkway with fabric drapes. It depends on the space. Good luck! I believe benefit of the doubtful. especially in these cases when there is no animosity . If someone is shaming... that is not good news Yes, my point was that YOU were saying "shame on you" to two people on this thread because you felt they were being unneighbourly. Which is an overreaction IMO.
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Post by peace on Jul 8, 2017 10:38:19 GMT
see now I would pay for and send the neighbors a "congratulations" notice that they won a sweepstakes for a free weekend of camping in their RV for THAT weekend *wink*wink*
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Post by Zee on Jul 8, 2017 10:45:53 GMT
I don't consider holding a large party, like a wedding reception, in a back yard with all of its attending noise as being neighborly. I consider that being a spoiled entitled person. In the spirit of being neighborly I won't complain about it. But, when you start making "requests" about changing my schedule and my parking on MY property...... you'll get a ton of passive aggressiveness. I don't see what the OP wants to do as being neighborly from her side. She wants to create a parking/noise issue in the neighborhood AND tell me what to do at my home so she can pretend to be some sort of princess on an estate. I see you live in a very different area. I can't imagine you're area, bc I live in LA. We just love rather than hate here tbh lolol it's the new SanctiMommy
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Post by KelleeM on Jul 8, 2017 10:50:49 GMT
I see no issue with asking. They certainly have the option to say no or just not move it.
About 23 years ago we rented the first floor of a house in a neighborhood with single and multi family homes. On the day of my daughter's birthday party our next door neighbors began hanging their clean laundry out to dry...on the chain link fencing that separated our backyards. I was more than a little bit aggravated by this. I wanted to say something but thought better of it (lots of reasons including cultural and language differences). After they saw us bringing things outside and putting tablecloths on the tables they realized what was going on a removed the laundry. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I keep envisioning my photos having someone's underwear in the background.
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Post by oliquig on Jul 8, 2017 11:03:38 GMT
I see no problem in asking politely. I wouldn't mention that it's ugly, and I would hope they you've sent a notice around to all your neighbors that this will be happening, or you will have shuttle buses bringing all the guests, because if you have tons of people parked, you will be the one with neighbors visiting you.
As for the RV, the best you can hope for (besides them being gone that weekend) is to politely request for them to move it to the other side of their yard. Perhaps you could have a bottle of wine or a potted plant in your hand along with the request.
Don't be upset if they say no, I'm guessing the RV was there before the wedding plans were made, so you knew about it going in.
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Post by loveslabradors on Jul 8, 2017 11:38:35 GMT
I don't consider holding a large party, like a wedding reception, in a back yard with all of its attending noise as being neighborly. I consider that being a spoiled entitled person. In the spirit of being neighborly I won't complain about it. But, when you start making "requests" about changing my schedule and my parking on MY property...... you'll get a ton of passive aggressiveness. I don't see what the OP wants to do as being neighborly from her side. She wants to create a parking/noise issue in the neighborhood AND tell me what to do at my home so she can pretend to be some sort of princess on an estate. WTF tbh. You are the one sounding entitled. They are doing something on their land. Which they do hardly ever. You can be a decent person and allow it for one night for their daughters only wedding. Shame on your. Seriously. If you are concerned with yourself in this situation, the fault lies with you. I'm sure they would repay you for what ever "inconvenience" you "know" 16 posts and you're starting in with the "shame on you" stuff? I also have a very small post count and even I know this is not going to go well for you To the op- I wouldn't feel comfortable asking the neighbor. Unless you're friends, I think any way it's worded would come across as "I hate your ugly RV"
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Post by christine58 on Jul 8, 2017 11:42:31 GMT
I see you live in a very different area. I can't imagine you're area, bc I live in LA. We just love rather than hate here tbh lolol it's the new SanctiMommy LOL courtney is "new" here...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 12:01:40 GMT
I don't see the harm in asking as long as the ugly part is left out. Maybe they would say to avoid any issues, we'll just go camping that weekend. I'd be asking ASAP so that they can get plans made. Just don't say anything about it being an eyesore or ugly. If people are going to be parking in your street, I'd be giving all neighbors, especially the one with the RV a heads up.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jul 8, 2017 12:10:41 GMT
Our neighbors had a wedding in their backyard years ago and she nicely explained her sister was being married in their yard on Saturday and if possible could we not mow the lawn in the afternoon or something or other. Wasn't really a big deal to us that they asked at all.
As far as the RV goes, I feel like if you approach it in a way that isn't insulting you may be able to get them onboard. If say them moving it forward would then give you a view of just fence/trees, i'd likely ask if you it would be a big inconvenience for them to move it forward so that when taking photo's during the wedding that you captured more natural backgrounds (worded a bit better, but you get the point.)
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Post by Leone on Jul 8, 2017 12:35:52 GMT
Ask...cannot believe how many peas think asking them would be improper. And BTW...it is this kind of issue why I won't live without an HOA.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Jul 8, 2017 12:37:10 GMT
I would be shocked by any neighbor telling me what I can and can't do because of an event they're having at their house.
By having a party at your house, you have to expect possible interruptions, and unsightly things. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere. You can't tell others what to do...
I'm guessing the neighbors don't have another place to park the RV, so where are they supposed to take it for your party? You can get additional decorations to add and hide it if it's a problem.
Now, if you are already amazing friends with the neighbors, chances are you all have already talked about the RV, so you could ask in passing. But beyond that, you need to deal with it as is, and plan around it.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 8, 2017 12:38:14 GMT
I don't think it is rude to ask at all! Worst case is they say no and get offended, but what is the worst they can do. Realistically, if you ask in a polite way, they should have no problem with it. You deal with their RV everyday, they can move it for one day. I know if my neighbor was having a wedding reception in their yard and they wanted me to move my car( or in this case RV) so that it wouldn't be in the way, in pictures, etc I would have no problem with it. A simple, "Hi *neighbor*, my DD is getting married on XYZ date and we will be hosting her wedding reception at our place. I wanted to provide you prior notice in the event that you are around that weekend. We hope to not disturb your, so please let us know if there are any issues with people parking you in or noise or anything. We are inviting only dearly close family and friends, so we are certain it won't be an issue. I do have a request though. We were hoping to take pictures and were hoping you could move your RV for the day only so that we can take pictures from all angles without worrying about it in the background. I hope that is okay with you! We'd love to have you over the week after for dinner to share some of the leftovers from this joyous occasion. Let us know when works for you!" Most people are very accommodating when you ask with a polite attitude! I think this is worded well. Starting with a positive and a hope not to disturb, and then using the pictures as the "excuse." I see nothing wrong with this.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 8, 2017 12:44:49 GMT
Serious question -
If you ask them to move it, where exactly do you want them to put it?
Are there free RV storage spots in your neighborhood?
Do you expect them to pay to park it somewhere for the weekend?
It's super normal here for people to have their RVs, boats, trailers, etc. in their driveways. My brother stores both an RV and a boat at his house. My dad stores a trailer at his. People have big driveways (usually 4-5-6 car drives) and they use them.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,880
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 8, 2017 12:57:48 GMT
Wait I was born and spent many years living in the Los Angeles area. Love is not the word that comes to mind. 😂 I mean, it's the land of 6ft tall privacy fences for a reason.
Op, it could come off rude to ask. They might be offended. I would find a way to screen off that area. We have awesome neighbors. They are so awesome that when we were gone for 2 weeks, they mowed our lawn for us. We never asked. They just did it on their own out of kindnes. I would never dream to ask them to move their cars to hide them from guests at a party.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 8, 2017 13:03:15 GMT
My sister and bil have their RV parked on their property at their home and idk where you (general you) would want them to move it to. I think I'd be more pissy about the fact that the people asking for this to be moved didn't factor in the fact the RV is always there so if it was a eyesore on a normal day for them it would be one at the wedding so maybe not holding a event somewhere else is what needs to be done.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 13:21:37 GMT
I find many of the sentiments expressed in this thread to be typical of what is wrong with neighbors and neighborhoods today. It really does sadden me. YMMV
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,769
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 8, 2017 13:21:39 GMT
Personally I would not ask. I think no matter what it's going to come across as rude. Probably should have been considered when you were choosing venues. Also very good point--where DO you want them to take it? And do you realize between cost for parking and the cost to operate it (gas) you may be asking quite a bit of your neighbors.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 13:21:50 GMT
I would love for my neighbors to tell me if they had a big family event. I wouldn't want to be THAT person to spoil anything. That's bad karma that stuff will come back at some point in time.
Could it be that the RV is having mechanical difficulties and cannot be moved? Can you offer to provide a tarp of some kind that will cover the RV and then throw lights all over it?
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,880
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 8, 2017 13:34:28 GMT
I would love for my neighbors to tell me if they had a big family event. I wouldn't want to be THAT person to spoil anything. That's bad karma that stuff will come back at some point in time. Could it be that the RV is having mechanical difficulties and cannot be moved? Can you offer to provide a tarp of some kind that will cover the RV and then throw lights all over it? I think she said they use it a lot. I like the idea of a tarp with lights though. It's a compromise. maybe I'm not thinking like most people. If a wedding is in someone's backyard, wouldn't guests expect that they aren't secluded and will see neighbors and what is on their property? This is why I wouldn't want to get married in a backyard. If you want a certain setting, it's going to be difficult in a backyard unless you don't have neighbors.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,751
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Jul 8, 2017 13:49:58 GMT
I'm with Courtney. If someone asked me this nicely, I would absolutely do it if I could (the where would they move it is a good point- maybe it's not that easy). I would nicely ask, completely understanding if they said no, but you may be pleasantly surprised. Some people DO want to help and be accommodating if they can be. I'd send dh actually. He has a great way with people and never met a stranger.
***I had to Log back in to make this post. I've been logged out for weeks and it's obnoxious to log back in everytime- anyone know how to fix this???
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 14:00:50 GMT
If you feel comfortable asking them to move it, I would offer to pay the expenses.
But personally, I would just decorate the entrance like others suggested. Use a tent or canopy with lights or tulle or garland. I would incorporate whatever the theme of the wedding is so it looks intentional.
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Post by auntkelly on Jul 8, 2017 14:06:06 GMT
I'm one of those neighbors who would never want to disturb anyone's wedding. If I knew my neighbor was going to have a backyard wedding, I'd make sure the dogs were in the house & I wouldn't mow my lawn during the wedding. However, I do think asking your neighbor's to move the RV is a little much.
I would go over and tell them about the wedding in person and apologize in advance for any inconvenience it might cause. Hopefully, they will tell you not to worry about it because they are going to travel in their RV that weekend. If they don't say they are leaving town and don't offer to move the RV I wouldn't say anything for fear you might offend them and they do something really obnoxious like string lights on their RV.
I'm sure you want your daughter's wedding to be perfect (I certainly would), but honestly, I don't think most of your guests will even notice the RV.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 14:10:07 GMT
I wouldn't be thrilled with a wedding reception going on in the backyard next to mine. I'm assuming there will be music, kids running around, and adults tend to get loud after a couple of drinks. And you expect your neighbors to be ok with this noise.
I see it as a fair trade off. They have to put up with the noise for the duration of the reception and you have to put up with the ugly RV parked on the neighbor's property.
If you are lucky the neighbors will find someplace to be so they don't have to listen to the noise and will take the RV. If not you'll just have to put up with the RV as the neighbors around you will have to put up with the noise.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 14:10:08 GMT
***I had to Log back in to make this post. I've been logged out for weeks and it's obnoxious to log back in everytime- anyone know how to fix this??? Do you have your browser set to clear your history or cookies when you close it?
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Jul 8, 2017 14:10:23 GMT
I would ask but make sure that I did it in a way that doesn't say "Your RV is ugly." I would mention that people will be walking through and we are setting the backdrop for photos. Any expenses with parking it elsewhere I would plan to cover. The worst they could do is not move it. If I was having a big event at my house I would spread the word to all neighbors to be polite. It would then be an opportunity to talk with both direct neighbors and not make it awkward.
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Post by KelleeM on Jul 8, 2017 14:12:15 GMT
Serious question - If you ask them to move it, where exactly do you want them to put it? Are there free RV storage spots in your neighborhood? Do you expect them to pay to park it somewhere for the weekend? It's super normal here for people to have their RVs, boats, trailers, etc. in their driveways. My brother stores both an RV and a boat at his house. My dad stores a trailer at his. People have big driveways (usually 4-5-6 car drives) and they use them. I don't own an RV but know that most Walmart stores allow them in their parking lots. You can even camp there overnight in many locations.
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Post by txdancermom on Jul 8, 2017 14:15:24 GMT
why not try a note to neighbors apologizing in advance for any inconvenience on the street as you are having a number of guests over to celebrate with you and your daughter and that there may be more cars/traffic on the street that day, and that you hope the party will not disturb their afternoon.
they may take the hint and go RVing that weekend to avoid the noise/traffic. If not, well you tried....
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 14:19:57 GMT
I see you live in a very different area. I can't imagine you're area, bc I live in LA. We just love rather than hate here tbh lolol it's the new SanctiMommy I picture her more like this Save
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 8:46:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 14:20:53 GMT
it looks like a shit pile & we'd like it moved for the evening That wording is perfect, go with that.
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