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Post by melanell on Jul 8, 2017 16:41:28 GMT
Right now the issue is the RV. What if one of your close neighbors decide to have a bbq at the same time? Will their noise and bbq smoke bother your party? These are details that should have been figured out before you committed to your backyard party. Exactly! For all you know the other neighbor could have a bday party with a 20 foot tall bouncy house in their yard on the day of the wedding. Someone could mow. Someone could be having trees removed. The city could decide to repave your street. I couldn't handle the stress of a backyard event like this. See, for me, the only stress would be the weather. The other stuff is no biggie. Things happen with weddings. Stuff you didn't plan for. Stuff you might not have really liked. But that's how life is. Stuff like this can happen around a church or other venue, too. That nice country reception? Who realized that the BMX track down the road would echo so loudly through the fields? Or who realized that the parking lot would be freshly paved the week of your event, so that the place smelled faintly of asphalt the entire evening. The historic church in town? It has no air conditioning, so the sounds of the traffic in town come in every open window & door. Or the gorgeous church front you planned to have photos in front of----they hung an advertising banner about an upcoming event just days before your wedding. Or there was unexpected construction on the church the month of your wedding. The fire station down the road had a call midway through your vows and you had to stop for the sirens to quiet. Or someone you paid to work your wedding doesn't show up. Why? Because they were in a car accident on the way to your reception and was in the hospital instead. (Sound crazy? Sure does, but guess what---it happened to us!) There's no such thing as "perfect". Strive for a fun day that you can enjoy and let the small stuff go. If all your guests remember from your wedding is an RV in a neighbor's yard, then that speaks more to them than to your event. (Unless, of course, you keep pointing it out and apologizing for it. ) Best of luck with the wedding ---RV or no RV. SaveSave
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 8, 2017 17:05:12 GMT
The other thing to think about is where else are they going to park it? So you ask them to move it so it can't be seen in your back yard, but does that mean they will have to rent a space for a day? Where exactly is it going to go and how much is it going to cost the neighbor to move and park for the time frame you are asking? If you offer to cover the cost of them having to store it somewhere else, that might go a long way in their book. I say just screen it off with something like the other peas have suggested and move on with the wedding. Part of having a wedding in your back yard is knowing you have no control over the neighbors. Not to mention you may be fielding complaints regarding parking and noise issues.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,769
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 8, 2017 17:10:26 GMT
The other thing to think about is where else are they going to park it? So you ask them to move it so it can't be seen in your back yard, but does that mean they will have to rent a space for a day? Where exactly is it going to go and how much is it going to cost the neighbor to move and park for the time frame you are asking? If you offer to cover the cost of them having to store it somewhere else, that might go a long way in their book. I say just screen it off with something like the other peas have suggested and move on with the wedding. Part of having a wedding in your back yard is knowing you have no control over the neighbors. Not to mention you may be fielding complaints regarding parking and noise issues. Haha. Ok, so you didn't read the thread? Lol
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,769
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 8, 2017 17:13:33 GMT
I find many of the sentiments expressed in this thread to be typical of what is wrong with neighbors and neighborhoods today. It really does sadden me. YMMV I get what you're saying and it's something DH and I comment on about our neighborhood. There are a couple neighbors that are just simply not friendly and it stinks. IMO the OP colored the responses by her description of the RV. She doesn't exactly come across as very neighborly.
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Post by librarylady on Jul 8, 2017 17:13:44 GMT
I think creating a screen of some kind is the best option.
I'd never dream of asking neighbors to do anything to accommodate MY party.
I guess I have been the rude one. We are friendly with all our neighbors but I didn't even tell them when we hosted the BBQ rehearsal dinner in our back yard. A couple of neighbors knew because we talked about it as we prepared. When I had a church party here, I didn't tell neighbors that I was hosting a party. They don't notify me either--if I see 20 cars coming into the neighborhood and parking all around, I figure it out--someone is having a party.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 8, 2017 17:14:14 GMT
If we were all sitting around together in real life talking I would be driving you all nuts with my cackling and hooting. Some of you just crack me up. I love starting off my morning laughing. Thanks guys!
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 8, 2017 17:22:44 GMT
If you hang some fabric and twinkle lights to block the view it would end up looking better than if you got them to move the RV. Get two long poles, wooden, metal pipe or pvc, put them in umbrella stands like goal posts and string the fabric and lights between the poles. You could put that reed fencing on it after the wedding and you wouldn't have to look at the RV any more.
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Post by Zee on Jul 8, 2017 17:23:01 GMT
I thought the WHOLE POINT of a back yard wedding is to keep it low key and not stressful. Good Lord. I myself got married in Lake Tahoe so it wasn't an issue but I can promise you that if I'm willing to get married in my mom's yard (assuming she doesn't live on a fancy estate), the neighbor's RV is not even a consideration.
I'm more concerned with where to put the beer tent and where all my guests will park.
Heavens, some of you are so high maintenance. That's what a wedding venue is for.
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 8, 2017 17:25:04 GMT
The other thing to think about is where else are they going to park it? So you ask them to move it so it can't be seen in your back yard, but does that mean they will have to rent a space for a day? Where exactly is it going to go and how much is it going to cost the neighbor to move and park for the time frame you are asking? If you offer to cover the cost of them having to store it somewhere else, that might go a long way in their book. I say just screen it off with something like the other peas have suggested and move on with the wedding. Part of having a wedding in your back yard is knowing you have no control over the neighbors. Not to mention you may be fielding complaints regarding parking and noise issues. Haha. Ok, so you didn't read the thread? Lol I thought I had but when I hit submit I noticed another page I missed....it happens. What did I miss?
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Post by silverlining on Jul 8, 2017 17:33:37 GMT
I wouldn't ask a neighbor to move an RV. If it bugs you, try to screen it, but most guests will be looking ahead to your beautiful yard, not looking sideways.
I like the idea of letting neighbors know that there will be more cars than usual, and apologizing for the inconvenience. If you have good relationships with your neighbors, you could tell them the time of the actual ceremony and ask them not to mow.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jul 8, 2017 17:44:16 GMT
A simple, "Hi *neighbor*, my DD is getting married on XYZ date and we will be hosting her wedding reception at our place. I wanted to provide you prior notice in the event that you are around that weekend. We hope to not disturb your, so please let us know if there are any issues with people parking you in or noise or anything. We are inviting only dearly close family and friends, so we are certain it won't be an issue. I do have a request though. We were hoping to take pictures and were hoping you could move your RV for the day only so that we can take pictures from all angles without worrying about it in the background. I hope that is okay with you! We'd love to have you over the week after for dinner to share some of the leftovers from this joyous occasion. Let us know when works for you!" Most people are very accommodating when you ask with a polite attitude! I can see both sides of this issue. courtney , while I get the spirit of your reply, I would drop the idea of "sharing leftovers." "Hey neighbor, you're not a good enough friend for us to invite you to our daughter's reception, and I know that perhaps I have just offended you by asking you to move your RV out of our neighborhood for the day, but we'll reward you with 4 day old leftovers!" (Because after hosting such a big and stressful event, I'd be flat on my couch for the next 3 days.) SaveSaveSaveSave
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,535
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Jul 8, 2017 18:28:28 GMT
lolol it's the new SanctiMommy LOL courtney is "new" here... Yep, we have an old pea new troll. Yippee!
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Post by pierogi on Jul 8, 2017 18:32:40 GMT
I don't consider holding a large party, like a wedding reception, in a back yard with all of its attending noise as being neighborly. I consider that being a spoiled entitled person. In the spirit of being neighborly I won't complain about it. But, when you start making "requests" about changing my schedule and my parking on MY property...... you'll get a ton of passive aggressiveness. I don't see what the OP wants to do as being neighborly from her side. She wants to create a parking/noise issue in the neighborhood AND tell me what to do at my home so she can pretend to be some sort of princess on an estate. I see you live in a very different area. I can't imagine you're area, bc I live in LA. We just love rather than hate here tbh I have to admit I giggled at this post. I say this with affection: you are a young 'un. It's true Angelenos have a reputation for being mellow, but you have to realize that if someone stuck a beat-up RV in a Brentwood or BH driveway, the neighbors would hemorrhage. I could even see it coming to lawsuits if this were an ongoing issue, because everyone there has someone on retainer. Same with Pacific Palisades, CC, and WeHo. Heck, when I lived in Burbank, my HOA was insane. In our condo community we weren't allowed to have doormats in front of our doors because someone decided they were unsightly. You know those news reports they show when the Taiwanese parliament loses control and members flood the podium and start beating each other up? That could have been our annual homeowners meeting. We could have used some of that peace and love!
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 8, 2017 18:51:32 GMT
*note to self* if the time ever comes for this old lady to ever get hitched again, it is going to be me, him, and boat captain. beyond that, a party can be held at some point in the future somewhere I can be in flip flops with raucous beach music and lots of booze.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 8, 2017 19:02:21 GMT
RVs are an eyesore and I think that most people recognize that, regardless of their love for them (which I get!). Our neighborhood doesn't allow them (love HOAs, but that's another Pea story!), but we have quite a few LDS in our neighborhood and they like to have wedding receptions at their home. They have asked us not to mow for the 3 hours they have guests and I have zero problem with that. If they wanted me to move my car off the street (which is not normally on), I'd be fine with that as well. It's just good neighbors!
I think when you say things nicely and you have a reason and it is seriously no skin of their back to do something, why on earth wouldn't you want to accommodate?
If they say no, then I'd buy some lattice and abut it to your fence and put fairy lights on it.
I simply - seriously and completely - cannot imagine being annoyed at this request.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Jul 8, 2017 19:13:50 GMT
Really Red I think it's all in how you ask. "We'd be so grateful and here is a voucher for parking elsewhere" is different from "your RV is a shithole and we don't want to see it." On another note...why won't a wedding venue allow a cake cutting and first dance?! That seems crazy to me.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 8, 2017 20:05:34 GMT
sunnyd I'm impressed with your OP update- you've taken the comments with a good spirit. I'll never be the mother of a bride, and I assume it can be equal parts stress and fun, no matter how low key the event. Have fun, I hope it is better than what was planned and you get to enjoy it.
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Jul 8, 2017 20:10:43 GMT
I can't believe the OP was called a self absorbed princess for having a party in her own backyard! Jesus, my neighbourhood has backyard parties all the time and nobody complains or calls names. Both my backyard neighbours have pools and have people over all the time. Unless they are loud and obnoxious, which they aren't, I would never think they were self absorbed.
As for the OP, I see no problem asking nicely. I would move my trailer if asked. But, if they have issues, best to have a plan B.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,619
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Jul 8, 2017 20:25:14 GMT
Another long thread because a lot of pertinent information was left out if OP.
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Post by Clair on Jul 8, 2017 20:35:25 GMT
I can't believe many, nay most, of the responses here. What has happened to being neighborly? Being the good neighbor? I wouldn't park an RV on my property to begin with, and I most certainly would happily accommodate a neighbor for their child's wedding day. Literally, shaking my head. I don't consider holding a large party, like a wedding reception, in a back yard with all of its attending noise as being neighborly. I consider that being a spoiled entitled person. In the spirit of being neighborly I won't complain about it. But, when you start making "requests" about changing my schedule and my parking on MY property...... you'll get a ton of passive aggressiveness. I don't see what the OP wants to do as being neighborly from her side. She wants to create a parking/noise issue in the neighborhood AND tell me what to do at my home so she can pretend to be some sort of princess on an estate. So, we now know Volt is the grumpy neighbor we all dread. It's a wedding reception - a once in a lifetime event. Why not be nice?
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 8, 2017 20:40:07 GMT
Yowzers - I love my neighbors, and this thread definitely makes me appreciate them!
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courtney
Shy Member
Posts: 36
Jul 7, 2017 8:08:48 GMT
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Post by courtney on Jul 8, 2017 20:46:33 GMT
I see you live in a very different area. I can't imagine you're area, bc I live in LA. We just love rather than hate here tbh I have to admit I giggled at this post. I say this with affection: you are a young 'un. It's true Angelenos have a reputation for being mellow, but you have to realize that if someone stuck a beat-up RV in a Brentwood or BH driveway, the neighbors would hemorrhage. I could even see it coming to lawsuits if this were an ongoing issue, because everyone there has someone on retainer. Same with Pacific Palisades, CC, and WeHo. Heck, when I lived in Burbank, my HOA was insane. In our condo community we weren't allowed to have doormats in front of our doors because someone decided they were unsightly. You know those news reports they show when the Taiwanese parliament loses control and members flood the podium and start beating each other up? That could have been our annual homeowners meeting. We could have used some of that peace and love! Oh don't get me wrong, my HOA would never allow an RV anywhere... but I'm going back to my east coast roots with this one lol
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,294
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Jul 8, 2017 20:50:09 GMT
Another long thread because a lot of pertinent information was left out if OP. Yep, the first line of my answer would've been different if the in the original OP she had said they talk at the mailbox, share eggs, swap Christmas treats, etc.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 8, 2017 20:57:47 GMT
a lot of the yards in our neighborhoods have double-wide RV gates, because HOA rules state that RVs have to be stored behind the front wall. That means most RVs are stored in the side yard of the houses, which is what I'm guessing the OP is discussing here. The side yards are very narrow, so if the side yard is only 5-6 feet wide, the guests would be only a foot or two away from seeing the RV on the other side of the wall.
I don't think it would be an issue to ask nicely (leaving out the shitpile judgement) whether you've invited your neighbors to the party or not. We aren't all 'buddy buddy' with our neighbors, but if we were planning something like that, we'd still feel that we could ask them a request like this, or asking that they would not mow their lawn during a particular event, etc. That's one of those 'good neighbor' type of things that I don't see as unreasonable-- and we would certainly try to accommodate our neighbors if it was them asking us something like this.
Even if it's parked in the driveway of the house during that time, it wouldn't be where the guests would see it walking past to/from the back yard. In my opinion, it would be much less noticeable in their driveway because the guests wouldn't be looking at the driveway next door, they'd be focusing on the party they're attending.
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Post by drummergirl65 on Jul 8, 2017 21:32:30 GMT
You mentioned they might be away in said RV. Why not broach the subject by asking if they will be away that weekend? Then if they aren't planning to, you could ask them about moving the RV. The back up plan of twinkle lights and fabric sounds really pretty though.
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Post by jumperhop on Jul 8, 2017 22:19:11 GMT
I love the idea of a backyard wedding reception. I promise, promise, promise, that none of the guests will even notice or give the RV a second thought. She is going to have a lovely day, focus on your daughter the covenants of marriage and don't sweat the small stuff. It's going to be perfect even if there are a few flaws! XoXo's Jen
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Post by jumperhop on Jul 8, 2017 22:37:14 GMT
After reading more responses and being a former Utah girl myself, I change my opinion. I was really good friends with my next door neighbors in Utah. They would have been happy to move the RV and not given it another thought. Jen
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Post by its me mg on Jul 8, 2017 22:44:03 GMT
I can't believe many, nay most, of the responses here. What has happened to being neighborly? Being the good neighbor? I wouldn't park an RV on my property to begin with, and I most certainly would happily accommodate a neighbor for their child's wedding day. Literally, shaking my head. I don't consider holding a large party, like a wedding reception, in a back yard with all of its attending noise as being neighborly. I consider that being a spoiled entitled person. In the spirit of being neighborly I won't complain about it. But, when you start making "requests" about changing my schedule and my parking on MY property...... you'll get a ton of passive aggressiveness. I don't see what the OP wants to do as being neighborly from her side. She wants to create a parking/noise issue in the neighborhood AND tell me what to do at my home so she can pretend to be some sort of princess on an estate. Or, you know, you could be a decent human and just comply for a couple of hours or for one day, voltagain .... such a small gesture would make a big deal for someone. Why not do something nice especially when it's so easy? And parking space is provided?
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Post by melanell on Jul 8, 2017 22:48:36 GMT
On another note...why won't a wedding venue allow a cake cutting and first dance?! That seems crazy to me. Add me to that bench. What kind of place hosts weddings and/or wedding receptions but has rules against 2 very common components of such an event?? Save
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Jul 8, 2017 22:58:04 GMT
We have an RV in our side lot, however my cousins (who own we let them park it there). did get a cover for it so it's not quite so bad. We have a large backyard parties/weddings here too. A LOT. We nor my cousins would be upset if someone asked us to move it for the day. We know our neighbors pretty well as we even do block parties so that sort of thing would not be weird. I can see where it would rub people the wrong about a note or not inviting them if you are close chitty chat type neighbor.
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