pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,530
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
|
Post by pinklady on Aug 22, 2017 4:36:01 GMT
So your good friend has decided to have her baby shower on your birthday. This is a new development as last you heard it was going to be for the day before not the day of.
You had planned to do your own thing on your birthday, not once in a lifetime things but still had your day planned. And they aren't things that your pregnant friend finds the least bit interesting.
What do you do? Decline the invitation? Go for part of the shower? Tell her that your irritated at the date she chose? Suck it up and go?
Update:
Thanks for the replies, they are about what I expected.
While my plans were no big deal to most people, they are to me.
I was planning to have a relaxing day watching a sporting event with my dad. While I'm not out any money, it's not something I can do at a different time or on a different day. My friends aren't interested in my sport so of course it's not a blip on their radar. Also, I'm pretty sure my friend would be just as irritated if someone scheduled an event during one of her college football games…a sport which I have zero interest in.
Someone mentioned that it didn’t sound like I wanted to go, no matter what day. That's not it at all. It's just the day of the shower is a day that I had other plans.
|
|
|
Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Aug 22, 2017 4:39:16 GMT
Unless I had completely non-reschedulable events planned, and assuming I wanted to go to the shower, I'd probably go to the shower. I usually work on my birthday anyhow, so not a huge deal. And her scheduling of the baby shower was probably made based on more considerations than the fact that the new date happens to be my birthday. The bigger transgression here is if she's throwing the shower for herself.
|
|
|
Post by ~summer~ on Aug 22, 2017 4:44:48 GMT
It wouldn't even phase me, unless I had also planned a party. I would go to the shower and schedule my birthday events on a different day.
What exactly do you have planned?
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Aug 22, 2017 4:48:20 GMT
Likely suck it up and go. I tend to like to have friends over for my birthday. Not necessarily a party, per se. Usually just a games night or hanging out and visiting. I find it depressing to be alone on my birthday.
If she's someone I'm close enough to that I'd go to the shower, she's someone I'd like to invite to join me for my birthday, anyway.
|
|
|
Post by hennybutton on Aug 22, 2017 4:51:04 GMT
She may be a good friend, but your not sounding like one. You have a birthday every single year, she will only have this baby once. What adult woman thinks that her birthday is more important than a "good" friend's baby shower? There are probably good reasons for choosing that date and I guarantee that none of them include interfering with your plans.
Go to the shower and celebrate your good friend's happiness without resentment. Celebrate your birthday on another day.
|
|
|
Post by vjlau on Aug 22, 2017 4:52:36 GMT
Unless I had huge Bday plans, I'd happily go to the shower. Then that night do a bday dinner, or celebrate the next day/weekend.
My bday always lands on Thanksgiving weekend. I pretty much never celebrate the day of. It's ok!
|
|
|
Post by gar on Aug 22, 2017 9:03:41 GMT
Adult birthdays aren't a huge deal imo unless they're landmark ones. Were your plans big? Are they easily moveable? If she was my good friend I would assume she had a valid reason to change her date. I don't know if you have a family but mine would still make sure I felt special that day anyway.
|
|
michellegb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,915
Location: New England and loving it!
Jun 26, 2014 0:04:59 GMT
|
Post by michellegb on Aug 22, 2017 9:09:39 GMT
Suck it up and go. The only reason I wouldn't is if I had something definite planned that involved other people. It's a few hours out of your day and there's plenty of time left in the day to celebrate.
|
|
AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,057
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
|
Post by AllieC on Aug 22, 2017 9:10:27 GMT
It wouldn't be an issue for me at all. Unless it was a milestone birthday and she knew I had a big party planned. Birthdays for me as an adult aren't a big deal, I might go out for dinner with family but there have been plenty of times that something has come up and we've done it before/after.
I would be happy to celebrate a new baby of a good friend on my birthday.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 13:57:57 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2017 10:06:50 GMT
So your good friend has decided to have her baby shower on your birthday. This is a new development as last you heard it was going to be for the day before not the day of. You had planned to do your own thing on your birthday, not once in a lifetime things but still had your day planned. And they aren't things that your pregnant friend finds the least bit interesting. What do you do? Decline the invitation? Go for part of the shower? Tell her that your irritated at the date she chose? Suck it up and go? It depends on the things I had planned. If they are easily unplanned without losing reservation fees or inconveniencing other people then I would reschedule my plans, go to the shower then celebrate my birthday on another day. But, if my plans involve other people who would be inconvenienced by the sudden change, or difficult to reserve activities then I would go with my birthday plans, decline the shower invitation with regrets that it conflicts with a previous commitment (no need to remind her she picked your birthday after you had made plans unless you can do it with a pleasant attitude.) There is really no reason to cop an attitude and be irritable. You aren't the center of her world. You've had a bunch of birthdays and will likely have additional ones. Her baby shower is much more of a unique event that is personal to her.
|
|
|
Post by walkerdill on Aug 22, 2017 10:08:40 GMT
If she's a good friend you suck it up & go to the shower.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 13:57:57 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2017 10:14:34 GMT
I'm sure not matter what date she picks somebody in her circle of family/friends is going to say "that is my birthday" or "my anniversary" or "I'm scheduled for surgery" or, or, or. Somebody will have a reason to be irritated no matter what day she picks. If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't go.
|
|
|
Post by salem on Aug 22, 2017 10:21:41 GMT
Go to the shower. I wouldn't even think twice about it honestly, and there will be cake!
|
|
|
Post by padresfan619 on Aug 22, 2017 10:26:57 GMT
I would go and not even think twice about it. It's a shower, it won't last the entire day and night, you can still do something fun for your birthday.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 13:57:57 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2017 10:37:24 GMT
So your good friend has decided to have her baby shower on your birthday. This is a new development as last you heard it was going to be for the day before not the day of. You had planned to do your own thing on your birthday, not once in a lifetime things but still had your day planned. And they aren't things that your pregnant friend finds the least bit interesting. What do you do? Decline the invitation? Go for part of the shower? Tell her that your irritated at the date she chose? Suck it up and go? I am sure you know the right answer= If her friendship means anything to you, be gracious, suck it up and go, go to the whole shower, do not tell her (or anyone else) you are irritated. Do your birthday plan another weekend.
|
|
|
Post by Fidget on Aug 22, 2017 10:52:57 GMT
Grow up and go to the shower, why is it even a question
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,843
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Aug 22, 2017 11:06:52 GMT
I will be 1 of the few dissenters.... but i avoid baby n bridal showers as much as possible... i would send regrets a gift and a gift card... then go on with my plans... but I would not be going if I had anything planned or not....
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Aug 22, 2017 11:38:39 GMT
If the friend was a close friend and the events I had planned could be changed I would. If they could not be changed because of other people or losing money, I would explain that I would love to attend but can not because of xyz.
But because my birthday is on Christmas Eve I am use to not being able to really make my actual birthday day all about me.
|
|
Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,768
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
|
Post by Kerri W on Aug 22, 2017 11:44:02 GMT
If I have to make a choice, I go with the one that can't be repeated. You can reschedule your birthday plans. Go to the shower and never utter a word about it to your friend if you value her friendship.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Aug 22, 2017 12:19:29 GMT
If I have to make a choice, I go with the one that can't be repeated. You can reschedule your birthday plans. Go to the shower and never utter a word about it to your friend if you value her friendship.
|
|
ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
|
Post by ginacivey on Aug 22, 2017 12:22:49 GMT
but i avoid baby n bridal showers as much as possible why? celebrating a baby or an new marriage, with friends, food, and cake so what if you have to suffer thru silly games - i embrace it - cos it sucks when friends 'hate' showers and don't come my friends are more important that being annoyed by showers
|
|
|
Post by annabella on Aug 22, 2017 15:49:47 GMT
You already have plans, decline the invitation.
|
|
|
Post by femalebusiness on Aug 22, 2017 16:04:46 GMT
Well, I hate, hate, hate showers so I'd send a great gift and be happy that I could skip the shower with a legitimate excuse.
|
|
IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
|
Post by IAmUnoriginal on Aug 22, 2017 16:10:02 GMT
Unless you're hosting the shower, it's only going to take 2-3 hours out of your day, likely leaving you the morning and evening free to do whatever you want. I'd go unless I had something non-refundable already reserved.
|
|
tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,864
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
|
Post by tracylynn on Aug 22, 2017 16:14:31 GMT
Honestly, I'm not big on showers either (bridal or baby). Send a gift and regrets. It's really OK not to go.
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Aug 22, 2017 16:28:02 GMT
but i avoid baby n bridal showers as much as possible why? celebrating a baby or an new marriage, with friends, food, and cake so what if you have to suffer thru silly games - i embrace it - cos it sucks when friends 'hate' showers and don't come my friends are more important that being annoyed by showers I've never been to a shower that I thought was fun. Hell, I didn't even think my own shower was fun. Yes, I have to suck it up and go for close friends. But what about all the other showers you get invited to? No, I'm not sucking it up for my neighbor's daughter or a coworker I'm not close to or my cousin's fiancée, whom I've never met, or an acquaintance I'm FB friends with or whatever. I feel zero guilt about declining the vast majority of shower invites I get.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Aug 22, 2017 16:49:45 GMT
I usually work on my birthday, so it wouldn't be a big deal. My birthday often fell on the day of field day at our school and being out in the hot sun running around with kids for 6 hours was exhausting. I would usually go home and crash and not do anything on my birthday anyway. So an hour or so at a shower for a good friend would be fine. I might check out early to do something that was already planned, but I'd go.
|
|
|
Post by auntkelly on Aug 22, 2017 16:54:33 GMT
I would not expect even my closest friends and relatives to plan their baby showers around my birthday. I think you should alter your plans if at all possible and go to your friend's baby shower and be happy for her.
The day will probably come when she alters her plans to be there for you at an important event.
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Aug 22, 2017 16:56:58 GMT
Unless I had completely non-reschedulable events planned, and assuming I wanted to go to the shower, I'd probably go to the shower. I usually work on my birthday anyhow, so not a huge deal. And her scheduling of the baby shower was probably made based on more considerations than the fact that the new date happens to be my birthday. The bigger transgression here is if she's throwing the shower for herself. (especially the last line )
|
|
|
Post by SallyPA on Aug 22, 2017 16:57:42 GMT
I would suck it up and go then do what I want for my birthday later that night or the day before/after.
|
|